Thursday, June 28, 2012

TAG


I am tagged by Irfanuddin of Apni BOLI and


The Rules....
1- You must post the rules.
2- Answer the questions given by the person tagged you.
3- Tag eleven new bloggers.
4- Set eleven new questions given by the person who tagged you.
5- Inform them about the tag.

And the questions are...

1- Why are you, you?

very difficult question..but I am what I am because of my upbringing and then circumstances,and that way I think that every person is a product of that only.
2- Do you enjoy your job?
I am a homemaker and thoroughly enjoy my work, I loved looking after my children when they were young, I still do, though they dont want me to do that now:)...I love keeping my house spic n span and doing everything for my husband, love everything about it.

3- What is your favorite time of the day?
In the morning when my husband leaves for office and then I make a cup of tea and read newspaper:)

4- Have you ever come close to death?
Not as such, but when I had a thyroiditis, anything could happen,but I believe that one can die any minute, young or old, its destiny, I am not afraid of death at all.

5- What is your idea of living a good life?
Depends on the age, today my idea of good life is living in a simple cottage,amidst lots of greenery and space,devoting some time for doing good work for others and living without any responsibility and expectations.

6- What are you wearing right now?
OMG..I am in gown:(

7- What's the strangest habit you have?
I feel more compassion for the unknown people than relations..and I dont like the people who are always for..I me, my children and relations only.

8- Have you ever eaten a crayon?
NO

9- When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?
why?,,I notice everyday..

10- Did you dream last night? Can you share that dream here with your readers ?
strangely yesterday I really dreamt, I always dream about water.and I always find myself capable of flying:)...LOL:)

11-Who is the second to last person called you today? (now don’t check your mobile history)
Called my mom..though I had to check the mobile:)
I was tagged by Sandhya too long back and her questions are.....

1. Do you remember your first day in school?
No:(

2. Your favourite song which you hum often.
I like many songs but dont hum any one more than the other.

3. Which was your favourite subject in school?
English

4. Are you happy with yourself always, well... most of the time, for what you are today?
Yes,.most of the time I am contented,


5. Role model in your life?
Keep changing all the time, no one special..

6. Have you got the habit of cursing often?!
NO NEVER..I dislike bad language.


7. What do you do when you are very happy?
Drink tea, listen to music or read a book

8. Do you believe in God or destiny or luck?
In all three...

9. Any regrets in life?
Not studying more..

10. A sweet memory which you talk about often?
My children'schildhood


11. Do you think you are a good son, daughter, brother, sister, spouse, parent? Mark yourself, if you can!
I dont think I have excelled anywhere.be it daughter, mother or spouse....But I tried my best.

Now I would like to tag...


And my questions are
  1. What is one thing you would like to change in your life?
  2. what irritates you most?
  3. Do you comment on the blogs for increasing your readership or when you genuinely feel like reacting?
  4. what is blog to you?
  5. who is the most important person in your life?
  6. what does life mean to you?
  7. How much propriety and protocol mean to you
  8. what is the most memorable moment of your life?
  9. what would you want a good to be like?
  10. Do you believe in..everyone has his own place in life..or giving importance to whom you like?
  11. I am bored of making questions arent you bore of answering?

Monday, June 25, 2012

MY DAUGHTER

MY daughter keeps saying to me..when men were exploiting women, nobody said anything but today when women are doing it, there is so much of noise everywhere. I told her that it wasnt so. Men were also blamed but at that time there were not many avenues to publicise, today Internet has made it so.Ask any women in the age group of around 60 and you will find that 80% were not happy in their marriage. But they remained there because..
They were not economically independent or didnt want to struggle in life.
They feared the society..log kya kahenge.

Secondly it was the same women who were exploited, made the life of their DIL miserable, sons were helped by mother only or rather instigated by them..
And when I write so much, it doesnt mean I have an ideal life..no I had a usual MIL and still have and today I have both..MIL and DIL and so I know the both sides of a coin. And I dont believe that to remove a malady, we must do injustice to some or misbehave.....I Make it a point, not to do anything with my DIL which rankled me as a DIL..to me as a person, it matters that I dont do anything wrong...

If yesterday men were making life miserable, so today girls should do so?Then what is the difference between them and us.When they had power, they were self centred, today if we have power, we must show them what is fair dealing.Being good is all about being fair when you have everything going for you, not doing so when you have no choice.

God made women with lot of love and care and its only they who can love others with abandon, men dont have that quality, they can love their own only. So should we abandon our qualities and embrace their vices(smoking, drinking, promiscuity) to become equal..isnt it like burning our own house to  get light.
If somebody is stealing, it doesnt mean we can steal and we are not thieves.

We are much superior to men, why do want to be equal...Inspite of doing everything, my MIL has stayed with me only, and its me only who does all her work and looks after her, could my hubby do the same. Could he keep my mother for so long,without her doing anything for him and always saying bad things,NO..he would never be able to do that and so I think of myself as a much better person and human being,let him think whatever, but i dont need or want equality.


Saturday, June 23, 2012

I HAVE A DREAM

This is the book I am reading. Its written by Rashmi Bansal.It is inspiring story of 20 social entrepreneurs who found new ways to solve old problems. Its very inspiring and soul lifting to see so many people with so much passion.It makes one feel the confidence in the basic goodness of mankind and good in life. Though all of them inspire you, but some more than the others , specially to me they are...

Bindeshwar Pathak of Sulabh shauchalay...He tried to bring change in such a basic need of humans and nobody thought of that earlier and what hurdles he faced and endures so much, but where there is a will there is a way.

Harish Hande..He founded Selco..solar energy project, making solar lights available in villages with no light, a man who studied in US, stayed in villages, did the fittings himself and lived ordinarily.

Dhruv Lakra..He founded Mirakle couriers with giving employment to deaf people.

Anshu Gupta: founder of Goonj..he is quite well known now.

Anand Kumar of Super 30 who not only coaches every year thirty students from poor family, but gives them lodging and food also..

Saloni malhotra..who founded Desi Crew.a village BPO

Ishita Khanna:promotes eco tourism and berry processing.

This book is a must read.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

LIVING TOGETHER

Recently i heard  a woman of a young boy saying...now a days I feel afraid of what will happen, when he marry as no girl is interested in living with inlaws...

True, but has anybody thought why this mindset happened...it is because...

Parents wouldnt let the couple decide about their life,day to day living,everything has to be asked from them and done thru their consent only.

Parents think that sons are there to do and give only, if they are successful then its because of their parent's sacrifice only, so they need to repay everything with interest.

Since parents are experienced they know everything better and have a right to advise and be listened to..

Whenever children go out they must take their parents too..because they couldnt do all these things only because they devoted all their money and time to children

But now when they are suffering are they ready to learn the lesson...

I feel that for parents its enough if they can live with the children, more than that they they shouldnt desire anything..

for a happy living and happiness in the autumn they ......

Shouldnt think of interfering in what the DIL should wear, when should get up, what should they eat, where they should go or how they should bring up their children, they should only demand that they are given their choice of food at their time and looked after in illness.and their all requirements are fulfilled

Dont demand them to do certain social obligations, leave them to decide with whom they want to maintain or not and whatever they want to give, its their choice, if you have money, you can do that your self and if not, then dont bother.

Dont expect them to take you with them, rather dont go with them all the time, If you are financially and physically able to do, make your own group and do the trips,otherwise be happy to stay at home.and derive satisfaction from watching your children and grand children enjoying life...and growing up.

Never ever give unsolicited advice and dont accept responsibilities you cant perform..saying no is better than feeling bitter.Dont become the caretaker of house and children, then feel dejected.

Devote your time in spiritual pursuits and social service instead of worrying about relatives.

As far as culinary satisfaction is concerned, first in your age you cant digest heavy food, so believe in simple food,dont be a complaining type,everything has its time and place...You have passed that time...

satisfaction is the key to happiness. those who dont have it, bring unhappiness to themselves and others.

One thing I Strictly believe that whether children care for their parents or dont, its their choice but they dont have any right to disrespect them and speak rudely.period...its non negotiable

Living with parents has its advantages for the children too...grandchildren have someone in the house when parents are at work.
While going for vacations, house is not vacant making it a target for burglaries.
Whenever someone is sick there is help available from loving persons.
And above all the satisfaction one derives from doing his duty towards his parents cant be measured in words...



Saturday, June 16, 2012

GOA-


Add caption
 country club resort

 rooms at resort
Add caption
 outside restaurant at resort


Trip to goa--here the journey is as beautiful as the destination.The last 2 hrs train journey is too good to be worded, the train passes thru dense tropical forests, tunnels and sometimes at one side u see a huge valley lush green, a pleasure to watch, then some falls also, and Dodh sagar falls is just amazing, the water falls from a great height and with so much of force that its completely white thats the reason its called so.I would recommend everybody to go to goa by train not by air:)

We had our tickets till Vasco, but the TT told me that everybody gets down at Margao(Mudgaon), so we got down there. The station has a very good restaurant with almost everything available and in very reasonable prices and its clean also.But since we had our bookings at country club,it was better for us to go till vasco, any way we took a taxi,and since the distance is quite a lot ,this is very unnecessary expenditure,he charged us 890/, actually there were other options also, like a train goes till Nuvim and from there u can take a taxi or one can go by bus, but since we were new and it was evening time, we didnt bother.Margao is south goa and country club is in north, so we had a one and a half hr journey and in a way saw whole goa, we crossed Panjim, Mapusa and then reached Anjuna-country club

At the first sight we just loved the resort,its so scenic,with swimming pool in the centre and a shack restaurant a small water lanes with ducks and all, and top of that lighting.And food there was very good,service also good.
We booked a studio, and in that 3 adults or 2 adults 2 children can accomodate. we had microwave with convection,fridge, TV, electric kettle, sofa which could be converted into extra bed, and a small dining table. all in all very comfortable./ What i liked most was we could make our own tea:)


Day-1 we went to Ajuna beach,it was 500 yards from our place.Anjuna flea market is quite famous, bus sadly it was not there as it was the off season:(
Actual beach is little far of and needs walking, so everybody goes at this place where its rocky and all sort of shops are there.since the weather is here very humid, everybody wears shorts, capris and sleevless tops and sandals.
In goa roads are very narrow but well constructed and bikes are the most popular mode of transport, everybody hires them as this is the only way u can see real Goa..There is nothing available for short distances so either one shud have strong legs::)) or love biking to explore Goa.It has vast areas of vegetation everywhere in between, very few multistoreys, and all the houses have 50% of there area left for lawns.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Dowry

As I had written earlier in my post woman too..dowry is not all that bad, its made so by unscrupulous people, otherwise it was given to make young couple's life comfortable and in lieu of property which was given to sons.
And most of the people think that parents of boys are responsible for this menace and only they can change it. But it is not so, parents of girls are equally responsible and they really have the power to eradicate it...

1..All parents must give equal upbringing to girls and boys both...give them education, let them work.

2.Dont look for boys from high status only or for arranged marriages, let the girls choose their partners irrespective of caste and status.

3.If the girls want equality, then they shouldnt have any qualms about marrying a boy who earns less than them, or less educated than them, or is from a lower class......

4...Parents must give equal rights to daughters in their property( as there would be no dowry)

5..It would be better if boy and girl earn and save enough for the celebrations of their marriage,parents of either side need not to pitch in for expenses.



Tuesday, June 12, 2012

KAHANI


Kahani.........Everybody praised this movie so much, that I had to see it and it was worth it.Just the type I like..no frills, no fancy dresses and locations, all real people.....Vidya Balan comes as a  fresh breeze and Kolkota comes alive in this movie.Its a suspense movie, so no point in telling the story.I miss the melodies in today's movies....

Yesterday I watched Vivah for dont know which time, may be6th or 7th, and though it has many silly things like girls always too shy and with certain mannerism and poor people with huge mansions, still it mesmerises me because of Shahid and Amrita Rao...and two song specially..haan yeh haq ha and haar phoolo ka nahi...
I feel the movie is good if it remains with you a long time after watching it and it happens with this.Romance like this is much more hypnotic than those of in you face type dealings.









picture courtesy...http://www.funonline.in
JODI BREAKERS
This movie has total new idea.here people celebrate divorces and shops are full of gift items for the occasions.
Madhavan is a specialist in divorce management and later Bipasha joins him.But when they break a couple much in love(MIlind Soman & Dipanita sharma), they starte regretting and then try to bring them together.While breaking was so easy, it was really tough to bring them together. Highlight of the movie is the location of Greece..its really beautifully picturised and Dipannita looks awesome in gowns.Bipasha also looks good, but Madhavan who was my favourite once when he used to come as Subbu in Ghar Jamai, he has really let him go, grown so fat, heroes cant be accepted like that.Omi Vaidya has been given the duty to make us laugh, but its all  over the top... Helen is charming in the role of granny...I dont understand why they cant get rid of cliches..like christians wearing only gowns and dresses, here in chennai there are so many christians who are  my friend, but there is no difference in living style, just like in the movies, muslims mean dastarkhwan, aaddaab and shararas.



LONDON PARIS NEW YORK

This movie is about two people who meet at different places in different countries, once by chance, later by planning.Ali jafar is a rich boy who meets Adirti Rao at London Airport, where she misses her flight to NY and then spends the day with him. He is smitten by her, but she makes certain rules.like no emails or phone calles. One day she just drops in on him to give a surprise and sh herslelf is shocked to see him with another girl. Then he tries to find her and when she is in paris goes there, she meets and enjoys and sleeps with him and then goes away in revenge to let him suffer.In the last he goes to NY to her, and finds she is getting married.
What a story...nothing is well etched out. Both Ali and Aditi look good only in a few scenes, rest is all trashy.
Go to watch only if you want to see those three cities...

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Some thought


“ People are made to be loved and things are made to be used. The confusion arises in the world when “people are used and things are loved”.
‘Get used to being used .. because if nobody uses you, it means that you are really useless’
 The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.
 2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.
 3. If you don’t have a sense of humor, you probably don’t have any sense at all.
 4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
 5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you’re in deep water.
 6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid
     of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

 7. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many
     people a company can operate without.

 8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?
 9. Scratch a cat and you will have a permanent job.
 10. No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants  to buy a car.
 11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.
 12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong  number at 4 AM. It could
        be a right number.

 13. No one ever says ‘It’s only a game.’ when their team is winning.
 14. I’ve reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.
 15. Be careful reading the fine print. There’s no way you’re going to like it.
 16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size
       bucket.

 17. Do you realize that in about 40 years, we’ll have thousands of old  ladies
       running around with tattoos?  (And rap music will be the Golden Oldies!)
 18. Money can’t buy happiness — but somehow it’s more comfortable to cry
       in a Corvette than in a Yugo.

 19. After 50, if you don’t wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead!!
 20. Always be yourself because the people that matter don’t mind, and the ones   
       who mind, don’t matter .

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

woman....

Life is such a big teacher , it teaches everything.everything you didnt want to learn and everything you didnt want to know even...she  was living a dream..mainly because she was such a simple girl, no other interest other than studies and house work. And in that she was really good. achiever there and excellent here.People talked about gender biases and parents differentiating between daughter and sons, but she never thought about it.Her parents loved her and it was enough for her, she never bothered about what they were doing for her brothers, as they were  so dear to her too and she loved themm from her heart.
But life changed everything when she got married...neither her parents considered her own, nor inlaws.Her parents didnt bother about her comfort or needs, they did their duty and wanted to shake hands off and inlaws..they were typically inlaws type who wanted more and more from her parents, and her parents didnt even want to do anything, not even the traditional gifts( thought they were well off and could do it, but for them girls didnt have any right on parent's property and she was not a family now, so why should they spend on her) and she became the punching bag.

And in the process the girl who was an idealist suffered a lot. She always wanted a loving family and wanted to live with inlaws in harmony and care for them as they were her only family, but their attitude created a mistrust between them.And she never wanted herself to be a burden to her parents, so on one side her inlaws demands pained her a lot, her parents reluctance to do anything also made her feel very sad and unwanted.

Now in such cases most of the time it is said that inlaws are bad people and they are targeted, and girls also form a morcha against them, but somewhere I feel that there are so many things which contribute..like traditions..where if girls side is well off, most of the people start expecting a lot, but on the contrary if they are not giving type discontent starts.I dont think there is anything wrong with parents giving to their daughters, dont they leave everything for their sons? why everything given to girls is considered dowry and a bad word?....yes here it may be used by inlaws, but once married, they should also be considered family, not outsiders...we must think of everything in a positive light..

And since we are conditioned like that, when a mother marries her son, she expects a lot.I know its wrong, but mindsets are not changed in a day, now people are changing, but instantly branding her bad is not fair.She should be given time to understand the changing scenario and in all that she must get due respect as a mother....Many new weds take this as an excuse to get rid of any responsibility towards inlaws.Many girls I know whose parents earn money thru all means and they take pride in that, but disown inlaws for any little fault, .families are there forever and we must try to solve the differences.. we cant get rid of them

And so she made a resolution that she will give her daughter best education, let her stand on her two feet and will support her in adversity,.......(continued)

Sunday, June 3, 2012

SOUTH GOA



I visited Goa 4 years back, but its moemories are still alive in my mind. We stayed there in country club resort and its just beautiful with delicious food.There were two touristic trips..north Goa and South goa.

For the south goa we started the tour from Dona Paula--from its highest point one can see the confluence of river Mandovi and juari with arabian sea . basically this is a view point with a very romantic story attached to it.Long time back there was a beautiful daughter of viceroy name Dona who used to come to beach and sit there in the evening.She got friendly with a son of fisherman and this frienship turned to love. When her father came to know about it, he got the boy murdered. When Dona knew this she jumped into the sea and comitted suicide, so this point is called suicide point also.

Then we went to see old Goa churches- BOM JESUS BASILICA--here in lies the incourruptible remains of St. francis Xavier, it is a miracle ,after every 10 years they show them to the public, and in front of it there is another huge church-Se cathedral where 15 marriages can be performed at a time.

Our next stop was heritage house in Lotolim, when Portugese came here they selected few educated people to work for them and gave them big houses, earlier they were 35, now 4 are left and out of 4 one is preserved to show us how they used to live.Entrance ticket is quite steep, as for just one house we had to shell out 100/ person.For the 6 inmates of the house there used to be 20 servants, what a royal way to live:).

Next Mangeshi temple..it is dedicated to shiva ,its like any other temple, just that place is the native place of Lata mangeshkar.

Our last stop was Colva beach,-its one of the longest beach and quite popular also. for half an hr we enjoyed the waves of the sea, then had tea on beachside cafe (they charge double..quite expensive)

One day we went to baga beach also, but it needs lot of walking, so idnt reach upto there, but walking in the bylanes of goa is sheer  pleasure.There is nothing like it anywhere else.