Friday, June 28, 2013

Humour

Most of the people like fun loving company and admire those who are nice to everybody and full of humour. A person is always admired for his or her great sense of humour.But I rarely meet a person who is genuinely humorous. Most of the time most of the people laugh at the cost of someone. And that type of fun never appeals me.

For instance my hubby is a silent type, but once in a blue moon he wants to joke around, it will be at my cost and when I feel offended, he would say that I dont appreciate joke. I want the person to be fun loving, thru genuine humour and good words.Though i dont mind him because otherwise he is  a nice person. and best husband.

Whenever we use some people to provoke a laugh or use some real habits or real situations to express laughter, then it doesn't remain a joke, it makes people feel humiliated and insulted.On the other hand some people use very ugly language in their conversation and find it funny. I dont. I feel that such people are frustrated ones and take out their frustrations this way.

Some people say everything they want to say to some but in the garb of joking....and it serves purpose in the sense that they may be finding humour in that but for the other one its an insult.

I believe that whatever the situation or subject, one must be civil in all interactions, humour comes thru situations or taking the things lightly, instead of enjoying at the cost of others. Words always hurt more than the actions and are not forgotten easily.

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Helpful Facts for Young Adults

Ten Important Research Findings on Marriage
and Choosing a Marriage Partner
============================================

Helpful Facts for Young Adults

1. Marrying as a teenager is the highest known risk factor for
divorce.

People who marry in their teens are two to three times more
likely to divorce than people who marry in their twenties or
older.


2. The most likely way to find a future marriage partner is
through an introduction by family, friends, or acquaintances.

Despite the romantic notion that people meet and fall in love
through chance or fate, the evidence suggests that social
networks are important in bringing together individuals of
similar interests and backgrounds, especially when it comes to
selecting a marriage partner. According to a large-scale
national survey of sexuality, almost sixty percent of married
people were introduced by family, friends, co-workers or other
acquaintances.


3. The more similar people are in their values, backgrounds and
life goals, the more likely they are to have a successful
marriage.


Opposites may attract but they may not live together
harmoniously as married couples. People who share common
backgrounds and similar social networks are better suited as
marriage partners than people who are very different in their
backgrounds and networks.


4. Women have a significantly better chance of marrying if they
do not become single parents before marrying.

Having a child out of wedlock reduces the chances of ever
marrying. Despite the growing numbers of potential marriage
partners with children, one study noted, "having children is
still one of the least desirable characteristics a potential
marriage partner can possess." The only partner characteristic
men and women rank as even less desirable than having children
is the inability to hold a steady job.


5. Both women and men who are college educated are more likely
to marry, and less likely to divorce, than people with lower
levels of education.

Despite occasional news stories predicting lifelong singlehood
for college-educated women, these predictions have proven false.
Though the first generation of college educated women (those who
earned baccalaureate degrees in the 1920s) married less
frequently than their less well-educated peers, the reverse is
true today. College educated women's chances of marrying are
better than less well-educated women. However, the growing
gender gap in college education may make it more difficult for
college women to find similarly well-educated men in the future.
This is already a problem for African-American female college
graduates, who greatly outnumber African-American male college
graduates.


6. Living together before marriage has not proved useful as a
"trial marriage."

People who have multiple cohabiting relationships before
marriage are more likely to experience marital conflict, marital
unhappiness and eventual divorce than people who do not cohabit
before marriage. Researchers attribute some but not all of these
differences to the differing characteristics of people who
cohabit, the so-called "selection effect," rather than to the
experience of cohabiting itself. It has been hypothesized that
the negative effects of cohabitation on future marital success
may diminish as living together becomes a common experience
among today's young adults. However, according to one recent
study of couples who were married between 1981 and 1997, the
negative effects persist among younger cohorts, supporting the
view that the cohabitation experience itself contributes to
problems in marriage.


7. Marriage helps people to generate income and wealth.

Compared to those who merely live together, people who marry
become economically better off. Men become more productive after
marriage; they earn between ten and forty percent more than do
single men with similar education and job histories. Marital
social norms that encourage healthy, productive behavior and
wealth accumulation play a role. Some of the greater wealth of
married couples results from their more efficient specialization
and pooling of resources, and because they save more. Married
people also receive more money from family members than the
unmarried (including cohabiting couples), probably because
families consider marriage more permanent and more binding than
a living-together union.


8. People who are married are more likely to have emotionally
and physically satisfying sex lives than single people or those
who just live together.


Contrary to the popular belief that married sex is boring and
infrequent, married people report higher levels of sexual
satisfaction than both sexually active singles and cohabiting
couples, according to the most comprehensive and recent survey
of sexuality. Forty-two percent of wives said that they found
sex extremely emotionally and physically satisfying, compared to
just 31 percent of single women who had a sex partner. And 48
percent of husbands said sex was extremely satisfying
emotionally, compared to just 37 percent of cohabiting men. The
higher level of commitment in marriage is probably the reason
for the high level of reported sexual satisfaction; marital
commitment contributes to a greater sense of trust and security,
less drug and alcohol-infused sex, and more mutual communication
between the couple.


9. People who grow up in a family broken by divorce are slightly
less likely to marry, and much more likely to divorce when they
do marry.


According to one study the divorce risk nearly triples if one
marries someone who also comes from a broken home. The increased
risk is much lower, however, if the marital partner is someone
who grew up in a happy, intact family.


10. For large segments of the population, the risk of divorce is
far below fifty percent.

Although the overall divorce rate in America remains close to
fifty percent of all marriages, it has been dropping gradually
over the past two decades. Also, the risk of divorce is far
below fifty percent for educated people going into their first
marriage, and lower still for people who wait to marry at least
until their mid-twenties, haven't lived with many different
partners prior to marriage, or are strongly religious and marry
someone of the same faith.

source..email

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

UTTARAKHAND TRAGEDY

It is very very heart wrenching to see the people suffering there and locals loosing their everything for no fault of their own.Everybody knows why it happened..due to rampant corruption,and construction without considering ecological impact.Nature take its own toll when you abuse it. I just hope that we have learned a lesson.

It is very disappointing to see that  we have so many billionaires , million ares but nobody ( leave aside a few like Tatas and M& M) has come forward to help. And what about our bollywood.....nobody has bothered to think beyond box office and their own earnings.The need of the time is to be generous, if all big industrialist com forward, we can rebuild Uttarakhand area within a few months. and the main focus should be on locals who lost their homes, their business everything.

And after all this I thought what any person individually  can do in the long run.,,,


  • Pilgrimages are for once in a life time, today if anyone can afford they want to go everywhere every year and put a strain on the infrastructure of that place.. and its considered faith and belief in God..To worship god and see him we dont need to go there everywhere, he is in our heart and home and in every human being.We must not make them crowded by going frequently. And if we can , then very old and children need not to go there as its not a picnic spot.
  • constructing a vacation home in hills should be discouraged, as for the luxury of a few, many of the locals are suffering due to rampant construction.We must not look for a vacation home there.
  • Hills should be preserved in their natural way..no more comfortable roads till the top for affluent, Horses should be the for of conveyance as they dont need broad roads and it will increase employment too..of course road are needed to connect the places, but not for sight seeing.
  • Inflow of tourists must be monitored according to the infrastructure of that place.
  • Everything local should be preserved and encouraged,be it food or other items..no more fancy shops.For that we must eat the local fruits and cuisine and buy only local products from there.

After all that I saw a report today  which said that while rescuing, old,invalid, children and  WOMEN were given preference..now did any woman say there that they are equal and shouldnt be given preference?

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Yeh Jawani ha diwani

I saw Yeh Jawani Ha Diwani.. recently and just loved it.Basic requirement of any love story is that  audience must root for them, feel pain at their separation and happy at their union, same I felt in Ek Tha Tiger,Jab We Met, Silsila DDLJ and many more but didnt feel in Jab Tak Ha Jaan Shahrukh and Katrina had no chemistry at all even in their love scenes,They were looking more like brother and sisters.

Come back to YJHD..it has good songs and dialogues are the best point here.RK and Deepika both are excellent in their roles and over all movie is very entertaining.Kalki is so natural in her role and for the first time I saw that a girl doesnt go back to her good for nothing BF and marries someone solid.

Whereas in JTHJ..they try to validate a married woman's wandering soul...Katrina's mom has an arranged marriage and feel disenchanted.Instead of making her marriage work, she falls in love outside marriage and leaves are her daughter and goes away..and its love glorified, whereas I find her an uncaring wife and mother ..a wanton woman. If she was unhappy, either she could make efforts towards making it happy or should have taken a divorce and then looked for something else..this breed of woman who are unfaithful but still in marriage, totally repel me....they look for love outside marriage and when they are totally sure of they they get out...this is not a fair deal......Most of the directors know that audience like mushy romances, so they encourage this idea, and on the contrary father who devotes his full life to his only daughter is shown in bad light...which is totally unfair..

In YJHD..one more thing I liked that here was a father who wanted his son to fulfil his dream, live the life the way he want and have the courage to sacrifice something in life to fulfil that.I dont like clinging emotional parents who emotionally blackmail their children and dont let them fly.




Monday, June 10, 2013

Suicide

This latest suicide of a film star and arrest of her boy friend tell us the flaws of modern living and thinking. Today all youngsters want to have a relationship, but whenever something goes wrong, they blame everything on the other person.In a modern society if one wants to have a trial life, one must be prepared for heart breaks and breakups.And one more point is shown by this incident that either girls must accept that they are made differently, so behave accordingly or be ready to face the consequences.

When one gets friendly, there is no guarantee that you will get a life partner first time itself. Any one of the couple may not like other after sometime, and he/ she has full right to break it and none should be blamed for it, because they were not in marriage.

Today everybody wants to have his/her cake and eat it too.But life doesnt go according to the people. One can never pressurise someone to love or marry, and infact it wouldnt do any good to marry a person who doesnt want you.

I totally dislike the parents who initially allow their children total freedom without any boundaries and then when something goes wrong, instead of accepting their fault or their children's, start putting the blame on their partner.

In an adult world nobody should be held responsible for any other person's life, when one is free to live life the way one wants it, one must take the responsibility for one's actions..and here is the crux..very few are ready to take it..

We must accept that every culture has its pros n cons, and this is the cons of modern society,if the girls want to go into relationships, they must make themselves prepared for heart breaks and unwanted pregnancies, its their choice.