Learning

I have an acquaintance who is very principled person and he was telling me that his son is also like him and cant tolerate indiscipline even, once he was standing in a queue and as is usual, another man tried to go ahead saying he was in a hurry.His son told him that all the people standing patiently in a queue are not without any work, they are also in a hurry, but following a discipline.That man was wearing good clothes and speaking English, so by his appearance a third person says that...see  even educated people behave like this this..so his son said.......not educated, education brings a character in a person..( even oxford dictionary states this)..he may be literate, but we cant call him educated, and the other person was quite amazed and said so that he never ever thought like that, though this is the truth.And this incident reminded me of one of my post where I also said the same thing that in India anyone who speaks English, is considered educated well, even some may call him learned also.whereas another one who may be highly accomplished but doesnt know English is not so revered.....
And this slave mentality is affecting us in other areas also,anything from the west is good..if they have all the freedom we must also get it,West has so many good qualities, but we are copying the worst only and the results will be known in the next decade, when we would have got all the money but without any peace or values or family.

CONTINUED

In the comment section Bikram wrote about his cousins calling him Veerji and listening to what he says..these are the values I think everybody must learn. In our times, I called all my sister.inlaws and brotherinlaws, even if they were younger to me with..didi and bhaiya and reason being that is the way to start learning to love and respect them. All my hubby's friends used to call me bhabhi.and in this there was lot of respect towards their friend's wife. Earlier everybody was given some relation like this because that way we could maintain a decorum in that relationship , but today people calling bhabhis are considered backward, as calling with names sounds cool..but then there is no boundary also, thats why one finds so many affairs etc.not that we didnt have them earlier, but still ..there was some hesitation. Today we want everybody to be friendly.be it parent,inlaws others..but can friendship really replace all relations?..why do we want everyone to be friends only? dont we have enough friends?.....To me it seems as if no one wants to do any efforts to maintain any relation, and friendship seems to be the easiest thing to do..though I dont think it is easy to have good friends, but then when we have good friends we say..they are like family..what does it mean?..
Just like people say that ...DIL is like a daughter to me..
my MIL is like a mother..
My daughters are like son to me..
But I would say that..
Why not love you dil as a DIL only..because daughter is totally different, nobody can   be like her, but one can love another person also in her own role if she is good to you.
Same MIL can never be your mother, Mothers take every thing from their daughters even trash and you can take them for granted,but with MIL one has to have certain courtesy, and show some respect and restrain, otherwise your relationship is doomed.
And last one, though people say it to show their love to their daughters, I feel there cant be anything more insulting than this...why not love your children just like that?

Discipline

Today I saw many pictures in the newspaper about children being initiated into learning..VIDYARAMBHAM..as is the tradition here but surprised to see that first alphabet being taught was A,I thought it would be their own.
NOW the biggest and most enjoyable festival is in the offing and it pleases me no end to see the ads in newspapers everyday..makes my day festive. This year Diwali is special to me as my son and DIL will be with me. When he was young I used to tell him, that stay wherever you want, but make it a point to come home on Diwali, but practically it is not possible.To me Diwali pooja is very auspicious and I would love it if I have my children with me, but due to the traditions I am unable to desire the presence of my daughter and just miss her all the time. Now a days when I am cleaning the home to welcome Lakshmi, I miss her so much,she  brings so much of pleasure with her presence, I feel so much at peace, and there is nothing impossible, if I am tired she will do it,.... sometime I rue the traditions....
 Yesterday i was talking to someone about children upbringing, and everybody had the opinion that todays parents are bringing up their children with a total disregard for etiquette's and discipline. May be since they didnt get that type of freedom and pampering, they want to give their children all that, but the result is disastrous.Children dont greet the guests, eat whatever they want and whenever they want, are not courteous to neighbours and not thankful for small gifts.Discipline and hard work is the key to success in life, so never replace them and always remember to bring up responsible citizens, evolved humans with kindness in their heart and respect for fellow citizens.Encourage delayed gratification than instant one.

Handicrafts

Craft Council Of India is running an exhibition of different things at Valluvar kottum..Chennai till 17th.I keep track of all handicraft exhibitions and make a point to see them and buy something from there.Its our duty to save our rich heritage, unless we  support them these ancient arts will vanish. And yesterdays outing was a complete delight.they had so many good things over there, so I bought  quite a few, instead of token things..bamboo mats,silk cushions, kota saree, venkatgiri suit material..directly from the weaver and some more material from jaipur.I urge you all whoa re in Chennai to atleast go there and see.
Yesterday we went to a very old Kali temple in Parry's..this Parry's was named after a company and today most of the people pronounce it as Paris:)..This temple is very old.some 500 years, it was on the beach,later on shifted here.It has certain divine feel, now-a-days Navraatri is going on and since me and my husband fast for 9 days, we want to so much to visit some durga temple, so yesterday's visit was a blessing to me.I felt so happy there and regretted that I coudnt take any prasad from there(as we partake only selected food now-a-days.)..I dont keep a nirjal fast or something similar, I would rather that i am able to maintain this tradition of mine, so we take milk and fruits and food only one time a day.I have seen many people who will keep an strict fast and then wouldnot like to anything in the house, but, I from the beginning maintained the normal routine of my home, nobody would feel any inconvenience due to my fast:) and I cook and work evrything as usual:)

Last week I saw Karthik calling Karthik...it has a very unique story line with the schizophrenic Hero, but they goofed up with the selection of Farhan Akhtar, he just messed up the movie..if it was made with some good actor..would have been lovable, Deepika Padukon is the only delight in an otherwise a slow movie. In scenes where simple Farhan changes into an smart one, he looks more like a villain than a hero, and change is not much visible even physically, I remembered..CHOTI SI BAAT where a simple Amol Palekar changes into an smart one with so much of endearing and cute style. 
Yesterday when I switched on the TV..Fir Wahi Dil Laya Hoon.was being aired on SAB TV and I just loved it..old movies have such a simple story line with lots of foot tapping musice and melodies, beautiful heroine romancing a handsome dude, and they live happily ever after..my idea of true entertainment, may not be path breaking, but fun to watch on sunday evening, now I will have to get the songs of this movie, otherwise I have the music from most of those old romantic movies:)..so relaxing to listen to that:)

WISHING YOU ALL A VERY HAPPY NAVRAATRI AND VIJAYA DASHMI!!!

FROZEN THOUGHTS

Recently our association has started a library in the premises and I have volunteered for their work as library is my favourite place.Earlier in early 80's also I was looking after a library and I read so many good and rare books there, then in next decade I ran my own library and now this. Just looks like god always takes care of our interests.

Here I came to know about a magazine..Frozen thoughts..I never saw it earlier, but this is an amazing one with unique ideas and very interesting too.First one i read, then I wanted  to quote so many things, then I thought that this way i would be quoting a full magazine.So i will share few thoughts which I liked...

First that why we keep our priorities vertically, why not horizontally, because few things in life are equally important, nothing more , nothing less. Like I keep getting mails saying that family is more important than career or job, but i dont agree with that.Its job only which keeps the family happy and one survives due to job only. Earning makes our relationships also much better.So many things become easier when one is in a job which satisfies him/her financially and professionally. A happy person can keep the family also happy.Our day to day survival depends on the money earned, so one must never ignore the career.

Second one is that so many times we listen..see that doctor is very nice person..that teacher is so cordial with the children...her parents are so friendly.....his boss is very sweet and kind hearted.
.but we need a good doctor, not a nice person. We must always go to a doctor who is good in his profession, being nice may be his secondary quality not the first one.
And a teacher must be knowledgeable and good in teaching first, then cordial.
Parents should do well as parents  first and look after their children's welfare,character,education,manners everything and then be friendly.
And seniors need to see that work is done,if they let the dead wood remain there, they are harming the organisation and cant be termed good.
What i mean to say first do efficiently what is your prime responsibilities, then try to excel in others.and the same thing applies to relationship...
Children must learn to respect the parents first, and then comes caring and loving.
Parents must inculcate values in children, polish them and then try to be friendly.

and whatever the boundaries everywhere should be maintained, one must never cross that.