Corruption in our homes

Now a days whenever we open the paper in the morning, there is a new scam..corruption is reaching new heights and we all feel sad and frustrated. But are we all not doing some little corruption in our daily lives..and doest it matter only with quantum or even spirit is important....
I have seen many people who consider themselves as pillars of society and are quite arrogant and snob, but totally corrupt financially...And they are called respectable people, though personally I dont respect anyone like that..Few examples...

Many people participate in the pilferage of electricity...rich by having a jugaad for running multiple ACs and paying for none, wheres poor just take it without paying anything, as in slums...

Many doctors get a govt job and collect the salaries without going there at all, all the while running their own practices. And many who go charge extra from the patients, and prescribe them expensive tests where their cut is predecided.Tests may not be even required and here they dont leave even very poor.

Many people pay for 2 BHk flats, but then cover all the balconies and extra space into extra rooms, storage ,without thinking that doing this they change the ecological  environment  and ventilation in the houses  of the other people.

People never put plants in their own area, instead they show their love of green only by occupying some extra space from the public area.

All the shopkeepers keep inreasing the footpath or road area occupied by them, they pay for some only and try to get double of that, irrespective of the inconvenience caused to to pedestrians or other road users.

All autoriksha drivers never run by meter, its not that only rich are corrupt....its the mentality that counts, money has no value in morality........

Many fruit sellers cheat in weighing...

Milk, subsidised by govt. is always being sold at  higher price..

We pay big amounts to schools for admission of our child, isnt that a bribe?

When we have no reservation in train, we are ready to pay anything to get a berth.

I can count many more such incidences where rich and poor are equally corrupt and never realise it.but raise a hue n cry only when someone influential does it. But we can remove it only if we become ethical in our day to day life...

I request to everyone to think over it..
Use only that much electricity which you can pay
Dont occupy unauthorised spaces anywhere.
Be  genuine in your profession, or i can say be loyal to your profession..

Humanity

Lately where ever i see there is a huge cry for justice for that unfortunate girl in Delhi. Govt is so pressurised from everyone that they are promising all help in treatment.Everybody is so disgusted that they want castration or death to the rapist..
But nobody is looking for any long term solutions, In dont think that only stern punishment can deter the others. And so many times rapes are not reported, people are not caught even.I always think that the men who did this, they are also the brothers, and sons, how their families feel? and what type of mother they have to have brought up such a son..
We need to bring back the values in life..
All the women need to bring up their children with certain moral values and for that they need to live those ones.
When the children watch everything, families never bother
. When children speak wrong language, they are just brushed off.
.Nobody becomes a pervert or criminal just one fine day, the signs are there for the families to see , but they dont take pains to reform them.

How many parents instill good values in children by telling them everyday and by living them?,,they are just taken for granted...hamaare bacche hain acche hi hain aur honge.Parents are giving too much pocket money to children, vehicle when they are underage for license even and money is giving them the freedom to drink and enjoy.....

Most of the time we are so involved with the finance factor or convenience that we completely forget morals.
Only police or govt cant solve the problem..Its the whole society which has to change.to learn to respect the moral values instead of financial status.
we must bring education to everyone.
And every mother must strive hard to bring up HUMAN  children, not those robots
Teach your children to respect other human beings
When women harass their DILs they send a message to men that women have no value or respect..
Its parents duty to teach children to care for others too, not only..I,ME,Myself.
We must learn to co exist, stop the vulgar display of wealth...
We are running fast in the western direction whereas our society is not prepared for that( though i dont think that direction is good because they are battling with young unwed mothers, adopted children and plethora of problems, but all that we shall earn by suffering only)

We must talk to the accused families to know ..did they never know about their men?...otherwise why they didnt bother?

Till such time that we have better police, better administration and better society, it is in the good of girls only to live with precautions and safety..
Never take a bus in which there is no other passenger..
Keep a chilli spray and knife in your purse.
Try not to travel alone(though it didnt help this girl)
Keep a helpline no on speed dial on your phone.
If you are travelling at night, immediately take auto's no and driver's name and sms both to you family..everyday.
Best of Luck for surviving in this jungle!

SOCIAL JUSTICE

In last few year we had manyincidents where politicians had realtion ship with other women and they were murdered like Bhanwari devi, Madhumita and many more. Most of the time its always the politicians who are blamed for everything, but in todays world a consensual relation puts the onus on both of them and in some case even on the husband of the involved women , as he supports this menage troi for the greed of money..Amarmani and his wife were even  convicted for the murder of MadhumitaLet me tell you a little about the case if you dont know that Amarmani was a minister in Mulayamsingh;s cabinet and Madhumita was a poetess and his mistress.Murder is a very gruesome crime and the person perpetrating it should be given harsh punishment, but I think that Madhumita also gets some blame for her character and greed. What happens that whever an upcoming(in life or society) young girl gets close to an influential and rich person, she brushes aside everything; morals, character and the concern about others. She compromises on everything to reach the uppercrust of society and when she gets there, then her amnesia goes and she wants all other things also.And we have this habit of supporting havenots even in their greed...otherwise morals shouldnt differ between rich and poor..When Madhumati had relations with Amarmani, it was not that she was kept in dark about his matrimonial status, but still she started the relationship with scant regard for society, or about his family, without thinking that in this process of self gratification she is hurting some innocent people-his wife and children.But when
She conceived , on basis of that she started demanding the status of wife.
I feel that in the above situation both are equally responsible for the situation, and none should be maligned, but our society being what it is always condemns the rich, so what Amarmani does -he plans her murder with the help of his wife.And in the process whole family is ruined,including two young kids. If we change our mindsets, and in any compromising situation between two consenting adults, we dont start any blaming or defaming game, there wont be the need for any one to think of going to the extreme of murdering.I am not condoning the murder, but as an aware citizen its our responsiblity to see where the problem lies.

GENDER AND RESERVATION

When our new president was chosen last time, her support by some woman and celebrities set me thinking that for the highest post in our country, the eligibility criteria should be the gender or merit?Should we be proud of a person's qualities or gender? I fail to undertand the hype about a woman being the president.Did the tenure of Rabri Devi made Bihar any better? Did the atrocities stop against woman over there.And If we want to be progressive in the real sense then we must stop thinking in the terms of woman and man, instead always support the talent, qualifications.

Today we see that a person who has been unsuccessful as a minister is being promoted to be a president..what logic?

Everytime a minister is accused of corruption , he resigns and after six months he is inducted again at a senior and better position.good logic na?

Its the same as in reservations in education, we must give the financial and other support to underprivileged so as to make them qualify for higher education, but the higher education shoould be on merit and merit alone. Otherwise we shall have serious repercussions in the long run.

charity

I am an ardent reader of Infinithoughts and it said in its last issue something about charity which made me think. Charity for the sake of charity never does any good to anyone one. There are many people who just want to give something.may be old clothes or money and want to get away with that. They satisfy their conscience that they have done their part and have nothing to worry now. But it is something for nothing and it never helps anybody. If we are really interested in doing good, we must give something for something. Like if we donate money to a child for study we need to see that he/she performs, only then they should be eligible..Wherever we give anything we must see that it is used properly and it is getting results.We must make the takers accountable...then only the situation can improve..
What do you think?

Life is precious or is it?

Recently I went to Nethaji Mercy Home..and what I saw there was shocking and amazing both. As I have blogged earlier too about them..this orphanage is managed by a couple who look after the children as their own..its their main life..not a part time job.

Every time I go there, I see a new infant, somebody left there..this time there was a boy who was left there at the age of 9 days and who didint have a limb and a hand and he couldnt swallow. Parents were poor and couldnt look after a special child. So this couple took them got his mouth operated and now they will get him operated for hand and limb whenevr they get enough money ...a few lakhs.The child was now 7 months old and very attatched to father(head of the orphanage) and was smiling in his lap.

Now as soon as I heard this, immediate response in my mind was..how cruel on part of parents to leave their child here and how big in heart these people are who can love a deformed child so much?..But when I think over, my mind debates..what type of life this child can have..with one hand and one limb...woudt he live a life of misery?Why are we raising him to be an unhappy and dependent person all his life..what can he do?

and why do I think it cruel of parents? Its a practicality...poor people have neither the time, nor the resources to look after such children and making their other children suffer for this one wouldnt be right...

Its a very big dilemma and a question dificult to answer.....should we save the life even if it is going to be full of hardships only?,...theoritically we can say ..yes..life is precious and all that, but practically what is good?

hellooooooo...

hellooooooo...whats happening..daily either a child commits suicide because he was chided by teachers or elders or denied something or kills someone like teacher, friend or parents even.In Chennai a boy killed his teacher for reprimanding him.

I feel very sad at the thought of this generation going so haywire....though lot of factors are contributing to this aggression, but the most responsible for all this are parents.....

Parents are over pampering the kids, giving them everything what they demand is making them soft target. They cant handle a no from any quarter.

Its a wake up call for all young parents...pleaseeeeeeeeeee.....dont think that indulging the child is love....You are all taking the easy way out, because giving in is much easier than holding and telling the children whys. who can invest so much time?....

Give the children what they need, not what they want, they will also reach a age when they can indulge..everything has a time....teach them delayed gratification, good behaviour, discipline and family values..but for that parents themselves have to change and change the philosophy of their life that life is to enjoy, or self comes before everything else.Teach them to adjust and compromise..they are not bad words.

Teach them to value people more than the things....respect a person for his/her knowledge and manners and values, not for his car, house and clothes or position.

Today if a child is arrogant and rude,or girls/boys not able to cook anything, parents tell others with a pride, instead of feeling ashamed,.....koi bhi kaam agar nahi aata to yeh koi badi baat nahi ha....nothing to be proud of.....whether we do or not, it will depend on the circumstances but we should know all the basic work we need in our daily life.

We need to overhaul our mental system too...

HAPPINESS?

Recently I read on Jyothi's blog..is everyone happy?..good question! Could we ever be happy forever?..Happiness is a very momentary feeling and whenever someone does something in accordance with our feelings we are happy.But all the time happy....quite a difficult task, as all the time we cant expect the world to behave to our liking..
But we can be at peace all the time if we detach ourselves a little with the results.We may do our duty and the right thing and then stop worrying about the results.Many people keep advising me that now that i have fulfilled my duties in life, I must live Bindaas, not worry about others and say and do what I like.And i shouldnt at all think about people younger to me but say the right thing. But that is not possible in a civilised society. We can never do anything if it might hurt others.Saying the right thing is also useful only if it makes any difference in a positive way.But then any relationship which cants sustain the truth or has no tolerance is not worth keeping also.And older people have more responsibilities in keeping the decorum and being kind, I dont like old people to be selfish, or manipulative or unkind as I feel that if not whole life, but now when we are so near to god, we can leave aside worldly temptations and may try to be a little saintly.we have enjoyed the life and done everything, now just be good.

I see so many people who try to show off as if they are the only good people and they do only good, but show them the mirror, they cant stand it.Truth is never easy to face,never easy to understand.

So many times I think that we must divide the life into phases and there must be a fixed time for shouldering the responsibilities and  for living free of obligations. According to me..

From birth to 20 years..this time should be fully devoted to education, children shouldnt be given any responsibilities.big or small, instead this time should be spent in building health, character and education only.

From 20-40..is time to indulge, make careers, and families and enjoy.and do whatevr you want to do with your life, build it in your own way.

40-60..This is the time for responsibilities, towards your family,,including parents, and society.

After 60..one must live.Bindaas...without any responsibility..neither of parents, nor children, do everything as you like, without any pressure.Because I feel, that atleast some time should be in life when you can live as an individual, in your own way..it is a dream for me.

What do you think?

IS SELF ABOVE ALL?

Yesterday i read an article and I have been watching that Shastrarth also on CNBC with DR Devdutt Patnaik and since both of them are related with the topic of my last post..so I thought of sharing that.

On CNBC they discussed that  for todays corruption and  valueless society.if we want to see everything through spirituality and Vedas, what will be out justification or clarification for that..why its happening?.its because we are in the process of changing from an animal to human being.Its the nature of animals to look after self only  thats the reason they live in Jungle  raj, where every big animal eats up the smaller ones..and they have no discipline in life, they do whatever they want and whenever they want and always looking for self survival only and will do everything for that because they dont have any code of conduct or society or any ethics.

Now thats what happening to us also..its always the INDIVIDUAL..we will do what pleases us or satisfies our materialistic desires, physcial pleasures, we dont want to have any norms or code of conduct to bind us.And the result is there  for everyone to see. For being a good human being it is necessary to see that what is good for us and then our family and then society and then country too, because unless there is a strong society, individuals cant be strong..just like one player cant win a match, the team has to be good.Anything which is good for us as an individual but is hurting the rest, is not to be done.

There always three types of people..for some self is beyond everybody and they are making this world the way it is..with no family and no ethics..all corruption and enjoyment.

and the other ones  are who put self the last..they are people who are making this world better to live in for the third type of people..

and third ones are in the middle..they enjoy life , but also fulfil their duties towards their family, society and country.

Life is never a bed of roses, nobody gets rosy relatives, nor all the people are happy today because of the disintegration of family and changes should be accepted only if they are good for self..family,society and country..otherwise not...we dont choose our families or relatives they are the gift of god to us as we are to them..if everything happens in life the way we want it to be,life wouldnt be so complicated and interesting too. We get education not only for earning money but to evolve as a good human being too and that means making others happy too..if we cant make our own families happy, how can we think of doing charities and social services..doing something for others doesnt make us weak or down..its only strong people who do things for others and adjust because weak always break under pressure.

Secondly I am not talking about those families where DILs are burnt for dowry or exploited because these are extremes and need extreme measures too..I am talking about the families where people are breaking families for their  self gratification and for very small things or so called independence and making old inlaws miserable.

I know that I keep repeating myself, but I will, in the hope that even if one person understands my view and makes a happy family, my life would be worth it.Admiration lies not in saying..how happy I am/but how happy I make others too..

Happiness of any single  individual shouldnt be above the welfare of family...society and country.When we had strong society..samaaj as we said, people had fear of bad things ..be it bribe, promiscuity,bad behaviour divorces or anything like that, if anybody did it, he did so clandestinely, not openly as they do it today, becaus ethere is no fear of society

jab se yeh meri marji shuru hua..sab bigad gaya

Credit living

American way of living is failing slowly slowly and here we are picking their habits , so thats going to be our future 20 years onward.what i found ridiculous over there was.....


Banks giving mortgage for 30 years, 40 years where payment years go beyond retirement.And giving loans to people beyond their capacity. In this area  I had an experience where I learned alot, Once I used to run a departmental store and there were many customers who will get tempted to buy the things and request me to give them on instalment and I being naive thought no harm in this and even felt happy that I am making sales, but..two cases I can point out where it was a clear mistake...
Giving a domestic maid earning 300/ month a credit of 1000/ is always wrong, she is going to be a defaulter and she did.
To a young girl working in a five star hotel,once I started giving, she had no end to her shopping of cosmetics and ultimately vanished without payment.
Business cant be done without some strong basic rules and log term perspective.


Secondly I saw people enjoying life like there was no tomorrow and that literally happened. The way people eat outside, go on trips and maintain the houses, it will make you feel pauper, but living on credit makes your future uncertain..our Indian way of living is much better where we believe in savings and assets.And I want our youngsters to follow that..today in a global world we cant live in our shell, others misdemeanours also affect us..so be wary of spending too much, life is not going to end tomorrow.......and enjoyment is not the sole purpose in life..think beyond that, bring some spirituality in your life.


Few thing I strongly believe in....


no credit living
not using paper to clean everything
No wastage of water.
eating out side, dont order more than you can eat, there is no harm in eating a little less.Dont waste at all.
Dont buy too many things..
.see the mail today I got.....I am feeling sorry for L& T, it was my favourite store...




 Things are closing
rapidly. Not on the list below is Linens & Things, which is
under liquidation and closing all stores by year end.

Ann Taylor is closing 117 stores nationwide. A company
spokeswoman said the company hasn't revealed which stores will
be shuttered. It will let the stores that will close this
fiscal year know over the next month.

Eddie Bauer is also to close more stores. Eddie Bauer has
already closed twenty-seven shops in the first quarter, and
plans to close up to two more outlet stores by the end of
the year.

Cache is closing stores. Women's retailer Cache announced that
it is closing twenty to twenty-three stores this year.

Lane Bryant, Fashion Bug, and Catherines are closing 150
stores nationwide. The owner of retailers Lane Bryant, Fashion Bug ,
and Catherines Plus Sizes will close about 150 underperforming
stores this year. The company hasn't provided a list of
specific store closures and can't say when it will offer that
info, spokeswoman Brooke Perry said today.

Talbots and J. Jill are closing stores. About a month ago,
Talbots announced that it will be shuttering all seventy-eight
of its kid's and men's stores. Now the company says it will
close another twenty-two underperforming stores. The twenty-
two stores will be a mix of Talbots women's and J. Jill,
another chain it owns. The closures will occur this fiscal
year, according to a company press release.

Gap Inc. is closing eighty-five stores. In addition to its
namesake chain, Gap also owns Old Navy and Banana Republic
stores. The company said the closures - all planned for fiscal
2008 - will be weighted toward the Gap brand.

Foot Locker is to close 140 stores. In the company press
release and during its conference call with analysts today, it
did not specify where the future store closures would occur
but that all are planned in fiscal 2008. The company could not
be immediately reached for comment.

Wickes is going out of business. Wickes Furniture is going out
of business and closing all of its stores. Wickes, a thirty-
seven-year-old retailer that targets middle-income customers,
filed for bankruptcy protection last month.

Goodbye Levitz BOMBAY - closed already. Levitz first announced
it was going out of business and closing all seventy-six of
its stores in December. The retailer dates back to 1910, when
Richard Levitz opened his first furniture store in Lebanon,
PA. In the 1960s, the warehouse/showroom concept brought
Levitz to the forefront of the furniture industry. The local
Levitz closures will follow the shutdown of Bombay.

Zales and Piercing Pagoda are closing stores. The owner of
Zales and Piercing Pagoda previously said it planned to close
eighty- stores by July 31. Today, it announced that it is
closing another twenty-three underperforming stores. The
company said it's not providing a list of specific store
closures. Of the 105 locations planned for closure, 50 are
kiosks and 55 are stores.

Disney Store owner has the right to close ninety-eight stores.
The Walt Disney Company announced it acquired about 220 Disney
Stores from subsidiaries of The Children's Place Retail
Stores. The exact number of stores acquired will depend on
negotiations with landlords. Those subsidiaries of Children's
Place filed for bankruptcy protection in late March. Walt Disney
in the news release said it has also obtained the right to close
about ninety-eight Disney Stores in the U.S. The press release
didn't list those stores.

Home Depot store closings: In Atlanta, nearly seven months
after its chief executive said there were no plans to cut the
number of its core retail stores, Home Depot Inc. announced

U.S. economy and housing market. The move will affect 1,300
employees. It is the first time the world's largest home
improvement store chain has ever closed a flagship store for
performance reasons.

Its shares rose almost five percent. The Atlanta-based company
said the underperforming U.S. stores being closed represent
less than one percent of its existing stores. They will be
shuttered within the next two months.

CompUSA clarifies details on store closings. Any extended
warranties purchased for products through CompUSA will
be honored by a third-party provider, Assurant Solutions. Gift
cards, rain checks, and rebates purchased prior to December 12
can be redeemed at any time during the final sale. For those
who have a gadget currently in for service with CompUSA, the
repair will be completed and the gadget will be returned to
owners.

Macy's - nine stores are closing.

Movie Gallery - 160 stores are closing as part of a
reorganization plan to exit bankruptcy. The video rental
company plans to close 400 of 3,500 Movie Gallery and
Hollywood Video stores in addition to the 520 locations the
video rental chain closed last fall.

Sprint Nextel - 125 retail locations are being closed. New
Sprint Nextel CEO, Dan Hesse, appears to have inherited a
company bleeding subscribers by the thousands, and will now
officially be dropping the axe on 4,000 employees and 125
retail locations. Amid the loss of 639,000 postpaid customers
in the fourth quarter, Sprint will be cutting a total of 6.7%
of its workforce (following the 5,000 layoffs last year) and
8% of company-owned brick-and-mortar stores, while remaining
mute on other rumors that it will consolidate its headquarters
in Kansas. Sprint Nextel shares are down $2.89, or nearly 25%,
at the time of this writing.

J. C. Penney, Lowe's, and Office Depot are scaling back
Ethan Allen Interiors: the company announced plans to close
twelve of 300+stores in an effort to cut costs.

Wilsons the Leather Experts - 158 stores are closing.

Pacific Sunwear will close its 154 Demo stores after a review
of strategic alternatives for the urban-apparel brand.
Seventy-four underperforming Demo stores closed last May.

Sharper Image - the company recently filed for bankruptcy
protection and announced that 90 of its 184 stores are
closing. The retailer will still operate 94 stores to pay off
debts, but 90 of these stores have performed poorly and also may
close.

KB Toys posted a list of 356 stores that it is closing around
the United States as part of its bankruptcy reorganization. To
see the list of store closings, go to the KB Toys Information
Web site, and click on Press Information.

Dillard's is set to close more stores. Dillard's Inc. said it
will continue to focus on closing underperforming stores,
reducing expenses and improving its merchandise in 2008. At
the company's annual shareholder meeting, CEO William Dillard
II said the company will close another six underperforming
stores this year.

Difference in living in East and West

I observed so many differences in the upbringing of children between east and west..and I am not saying who is right who is wrong,but then results are always different..see how...

There they leave the infant on the bed to sleep all alone and if he cries  then they let him, he will slowly reconcile himself and sleep..and for this behaviour they have their own compulsions as they have no family support to bring up children and most of the mothers are working too, so they cant devote so much of time to children, but to advice doing so to everyone. irrespective of circumstances is not required...We in India never leave a child alone and never let them cry for long..they are always made to feel precious and very valuable to us.

But then they contradict themselves by saying that mother should give the skin touch to child and tell all the artificial ways to make it so..why not do it natural way...pick up the child when he wants to be comforted.But NO everything should be done as we want it, not the way child wants it..we must programme the child to suit our life style.

There, personal life is very important, and personal entertainment cant be postponed even for some period, and people will take out time for themselves..managing the children.....anyhow...and this is where we sow the seed of self importance..self comes before everything, whereas in Indian culture..there are so many times in life when other than self is more important..sometimes children, sometimes parents,inlaws, relatives and that makes our life so beautiful.and meaningful too....WHenevr I go to my children, I nevr think about my likings,whether I would like to laze around or sleep late or go out, I always try to think of their comfort , and to make them happy, its they who think about me, and this makes everything so charming, if everyone thinks about self...then also the same things will happen, but there wouldnt not be so much of charm.

Then.... dont give any water, or Indian gripe water or janma ghutti, but one can give anything advertised on the net.its safe, just because its on internet,and other users are advocating..how can one authenticate the internet users?.whereas what our elders say.it is authenticated.

 one thing is positive that there children become very independent from the early age...and want to have their own way.one incident remains in my mind..one young child whenever disliked some instructions or anything from any body be it elders or outsiders, will instantly snap at them saying..go away to your home..or stop laughing..now in India whenever a small child says something like this, we instantly tell them with love...beta bado ko aise nahi kehte.its not nice, we dont just laugh it off.

But one thing I liked that there girls really work equally, they have no qualms about lifting heavy things or doing any work. whereas Indian girls want to have their cake and eat it too, that way I appreciate my nephew who never vacates the seat for girls in bus, he says...if you want equal rights, then stop asking for the privileges..I also feel the same and asking for any special treatment is an insult to me

CONSUMERISM

I have no shame in saying that i always get ideas to write something while reading other's posts and this is no different:).whenever ideas similar to my thinking are posted, I want to say so much, then think why not write your own post about it.
When the riots in London happened, since then I was thinking that consumerism is showing its results. As I read in the papers that many youth looted things with selection..particular brands of jeans and like that.
In the west they bring out new paraphernalia for every month.it may be Halloween or fall..and people buy it..
They always try to tempt the customer and make them shopping prone.For every little thing one gets a different gazette and one accumulates everything. Showing love needs buying things..sometimes things which are not even used.

We are destroying our future and this planet both.In every sphere of life we need better behaviour , love and respect, not things.

Do we praise a guest who is obnoxious, though he/she may bring us an expensive present?
Are those children happier whose parents buy them a lot of toys  than those who buy less and give more love and time?
Are the parents who get lot of gifts without any respect are happier than those who get less gifts but respect?
Can the husband wife be happy only with the gifts without any care and love?

Things matter but to a limit only..its our character that matters more than anything else and nothing compensates the behaviour.

In most of places good values and behaviour wins all the way..neither our appearance nor the tags of our clothes matter, so why we hanker after them ignoring the values?........because it comes easy to us, behaving well or achieving something needs hard work, which not everyone can do....we are taking the shortcuts in life.

I request everyone to think and buy only what you NEED not what you WANT.Dont encourage waste shopping and accumulate garbage in your house, rather than accumulate wealth, that makes everyone happy in the long run.. I feel really sad to see the wastage of food in west..here whenever I have to throw eatables in  trash, I am very uneasy..so many people in the world are going hungry and here we are throwing.why? because we buy more than we need....why not buy a little less than a little more?

We dont need to do many donations or social service if we become judicious in our own life.everyone can have enough to eat and wear.

Riots in London

The riots in London really shocked me.the way young boys looted the shops and even injured people, shows the lack of civic sensitivity and morality in the people.Nothing...being jobless or poor or without any hope..absolutely nothing justifies this sort of behaviour..it was pure criminalism. Because there will be thousands of people in the world who are jobless, and poor but it doesnt mean that they start killing other people.
Two things  very clearly come out of this incident..
One that society must look inward and give more importance to teaching morals and ethics, less to consumerism as is rampant in west and now coming to India too.
Two..Suing of doctors, police etc demoralises them, here police action was not very swift and sometimes people were left to fend for themselves, police is not given even real bullets..too much of citizen rights and all has made citizen also forget their duties...all the citizens also have a duty towards their country and they have no right to torch either govt property or other's shops and houses, they must be made to pay for their crimes..as here everywhere CCTV are used so one can identify those criminals.

As I was thinking about this I heard the news that in India also.in Moradabad communal riots happened..there also every year when people bring Kanwars, areas become sensitive to riots..I dont know why...some people question the practice of bringing it, but its individual's choice and if they want to do it, their journey must be facilitated and they must be given security too..thats govt.s duty...instead lot of traffic jams happen and this time riots.

PART 2

My last post created lot of confusion, as I didnt write it clearly,It was not about independent people but about those who are dependent  or live with their children so I want to say here now very categorically
I love the people who maintain themselves and live well and are active and live life well.I admire them.
I was talking about
this tendency of reminiscing about their youth and its flirtations, and exaggerating the importance they got from opposite sex:).......talking about which looks very ridiculous at this age..atleast to me.I can never talk to my children or even my sisters and tell them that i was so popular among boys etc etc, I find it embarrassing. and feel that they are not so important topics now, as life has much more to offer.

My second point was about the DEPENDENT older crowd that most of the people find old people's plight very pitiable and bad, but do old people make any effort to make life better for their young children.and most of the problems can be solved with a little different attitude to life.If all women love their DILs and care for them when they enter their family, they will get if not hundred percent, but I am pretty sure atleast  50 percent return will be there..but then when its time to do, nobody wants to do anything, but when its their time to take, they are ready to take from both hands. And a good life comes to givers not takers.

In the old age also  elders are so demanding ,..Even if they have always taken the best of culinary delights.now they must be accommodating and partake everything with pleasure.simple food is good for their health also, but I see that whatever they couldnt get in their youth even, they want it now.

May be they had a very hectic social life in their prime, but now do whatever the situation demands..One cant tag along the children everywhere, or make your own separate circle and socialise with them, dont ever try to dominate your children's friend circle.

May be you were very fond of travelling and sight seeing, but now do it if you are able to to do it on your own,If children take you anywhere, bless them, but otherwise too dont feel bad, we can see so many things without going anywhere too if we put our minds to them.and we must try to see thru our children's eyes.and find our happiness in the family.

Elders get respect if they are generous with their mind , not only with their age, but if they behave according to the age...and its children's duty also to see that their parents are comfortable, well looked after,and make them feel a part of their life,not a liability.What happens is that everyone wants to do the best for  children and least for the parents( not true for all) and this is the way life circle goes on.

I will end this year with this quote....

Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each New Year find you a better man.
- Benjamin Franklin

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

AGEING GRACEFULLY

I have seen that most of the women when they cross 50 start thinking about their past and reminiscing about their youth. Now you are going to say that being nostalgic is so common to everybody, past always seems to be better..no. but here comes the catch:)..they remember more about the crushes, who were the boys after them(or they were after them?), how popular they were( even if nobody liked them:). And today if anybody wants to maintain friendship and if the person is from the opposite gender, then its their attraction which is still working.....some go to the length to exaggerate, how much they are liked in society and by others.

What is the thought process behind it? is it the fear of growing old? or growing unattractive? or some complex is growing inside of feeling unwanted?

I have always felt that appreciation and praise if any should come from others..blowing your own trumpet is so ..not very appealing ?
Secondly if people age gracefully and behave accordingly, neither they are neglected nor look unattractive. Because after a certain age, nobody looks at your clothes or figure or jewellery, but your deeds.and your heart. And a good heart always reflects on your face and brings dignity to it..One must take pride not in physical appearances or materialistic things, but in being compassionate and kind.
Just the other day some one was telling me..that aged people face many problems, I said..true, but most of them are because of their attitude towards life.My feeling is that....with age we must look inward,instead of indulging and desiring everything young people do,because we bring misery to us, as well as our family.Yes if one is physically and financially sound, and can manage his/ her indulgence, fine do it, but never do it at the cost of bringing problems in other's life,be it your children or other family memebrs.Instead we must be satisfied with little and devote ourselves to society and god.God has given us four stages of life.

In our child hood we indulge and parents pamper us.first 20 years
In our youth we work hard to make our life..next 20 years
Now we enjoy the fruit of our labour..next 20 years
Now is the time to give back to society and others, and our aim should be to give,  to do and make others happy.

Everything Extra........

Today I was reading someone's blog where she had written how people give all stale and expired food to servants and it touched a chord somewhere in my heart. I have seen that in many families whatever small quantity of daals and veg is left after food is stored in the fridge. Then they will clean the fridge in a week and give it all to  servants, I feel why not give it when it is fresh?..So many people never think of their servants as human beings who have some self respect and dignity.....never serve them properly,we can serve multiple cups of tea to our relatives and even insist them to over eat, but when it comes to servants.....we will give them whatever is just not of any use,nevr give them properly even in a plate and katori...and think of themselves as great who are donating, but I never think of giving discard items as donation or even good deed..its rather opposite,....they are taking care of our garbage. Giving means what they want and need, not what we have in surplus.

Once I read somewhere that we can guess the nature of a person from the way he behaves with a waiter in restaurant, I think we should add it to how we behave with our employess .

In a country like ours where many people go to sleep without food least we can do is.....

1...food items shouldnt be wasted..buy only as much as you need or may be less,never more.
2..we must neither over eat ourselves, nor insist our guests to do the same..it will be good for our health also.
3.try to give one meal to your maid...food what you eat,not somesthing substandard prepared for her...this is the best way of sharing.

I am trying to do all this..lets see......

My experience

In my vacations i met many people in different situations with different ideas, it was quite enlightening..like in the train there was this old man of 70, he was going to Coimbatore, his son is commissioner in PF department.His wife's mother lives with them in Lucknow, so one of them has to live with her , so he was going alone, he said that he keeps going to his son regularly because..man is a social animal, and if parents dont meet often to children, they will make a bonding with someone else, so to keep their relationship alive he makes the trips regularly.and though his DIL is not very good person, but then in a household where 2 people(his son and grand son ) love him so much,one person not loving doesnt matter, he always thinks about his son and grandson.

Then there was this family with three children..two daughters one son, going to kerala, I noticed that one girl was , very well dressed but very quiet,not bubbly like rest two and she never demanded anything, and took everything very hesitantly.When we started talking, I came to know that she is not their daughter, but a cousin's and going with them to spend her holidays with her grand parents.Her mother has a full time job, so she gets very bored whole day and she wants to go somewhere else. I felt sad that an innocent child's childhood is going in vain, because her mother works, either because she wants to give material comforts to her child or she wants to utilises her capabilities..whatever it is but it is little kids like her who are getting short changed.Specially girls they need their mother to bloom, and in the formative years its necessary to have someone at home..those who dont have the facility to have parent or those who dont want to live with parents, must think twice before taking a full time job.

Then i met this acquaintance of mine, she got her son married six months back, as is the Indian milieu, whenever someone see the bride, they notice either the beauty or the dowry and when they saw that bride is plump and not so fair, everybody condemned them,saying that they didnt find a good match for their handsome son, without thinking how it must have hurt to them and bride too. now six months later, when that girl is turning out to be such an affectionate and caring DIL, everybody is eating his words.I feel really sad when I see that people give more importance to outward things then real qualities.That friend is so happy now.

As for the appearances go, while going two girls were sitting beside me, both in a very proper corporate attire, none was perfect in looks, but I found them very attractive for their confidence, for their attitude......

Then I met a family who was coming from abroad to Lucknow, and all the time they kept cribbing about the bad things in India, this irritates me a lot, this is your country and instead of trying to do something for it, you have gone abroad for greener pastures, and if there is nothing good about India, why come here?....I know that there are many problems here, but listening it from the people who dont reside here always rankles me.........

I met a family where two brothers and their families all live together, and they are so close that one brother's children always want to go out with other's wife. Children and their mothers are all so friendly to each other and affectionate,.....it really made me happy to see that old India still lives in our hearts.

Social Conscience Part II and MNCs

Just the other day were thinking..what is it about US that has brought them at the top of the world.......see we Indians are forever copying them, so why shouldnt we copy that trait:).
After a lot of discussion we came to the conclusion may be it is their openness and freedom they give to every individual. Like this is one country embracing people from all over the world. people are coming from outside and making it prosper, they dont resent outsiders. Its not the way we think..like in our own country some states put curbs on the people from other states and do reservations for locals..nothing like that here, its a completely merit based country..have merit and enjoy. And the same freedom is given to human mind ..to explore, to do what you want....no restriction on you mind, behaviour, dressing sense, and no judgemental issues, not that it is all good as we can see, but yes it brings new ideas.
And this brings me to the topic of my one of last posts..social conscience..people going outside the country for a better living..........the comments from everybody made me think it over again and again and then I realised that on one side we are talking about global world with diminishing boundaries, on the other I am being so conservative about our best people going abroad, not fair to them or anybody. we must also strive to make our country a merit based country. And if it wasnt in the the interest of our country wouldnt we ban it? we must have this same freedom in our country to let every individual think and decide whatevr one wants to do and remove all the subsidies from education, rather there should be education loans, so we dont have this feeling that..see they are getting subsidised education and then going abroad, otherwise this education is not free, its like a bond, study here, so remain here, whereas education always makes us free to do whatevr we want to do in life.
And then there was the question..whether we should resent MNCs because they send their earnings outside our country.........10 years back i was of the same opinion. At that time we had limited variety in the market in various products but the price was low, and then MNCs started coming, giving us variety and I felt that with their free gift culture they are going to tempt Indian consumer, and once they get popular, they will stop that and them price their products higher and by that time they would have the killed the competition ( meaning Indian small industries)..and i really didnt want to buy their products. Even today whenever I go to Hyderabad .Shilparaman, there was this shop of tribal products, I will buy my stock from there or sometimes from Khadi Bhandar also. I always have certain preferences...
Like if two vegetable sellers are there and one is woman, I will go the woman. the same for any product.
If my local grocer is good enough, then I will order my main groceries from him only.
If any of our Indigenous product can do, will get the preference ( like amul is my preferred brand for everything they make:)....and there are many dos...like this in my life:)
But then I thought..suppose we indians set up a shop abroad according to the laws over there and then local show the same disdain then?...so the main onus lies with the govt..for framing laws in such a way that they dont harm our local industries, and then see to it that they follow it.....but more important is this..why not Indian companies make their stuff so good that if not better its equal..I am sure there are many people like me who would prefer to buy from them...again it comes to merit and quality.
One day my husband talked to me and asked me why I dont think in a progressive way, he said that we get everything so cheap in US but not here in India because......our farmers are small, they dont have the latest technology for bulk producing and then storing , transporting and everything. Let the MNCs come, and they will have all the facilities and then our farmers will also get the optimum price for their produce( which never happens otherwise because whenever they have bumper crop, they dont have any storage idea or anything and either it rots or it goes cheap, so good crop or bad crop they are always in debt), and secondly people of our country will also be able to afford minimum basic products, which are meant today for rich only....yes they will send their earnings outside, but at the same time they are generating employment also, providing us products also. and then we are not stopping Indian entrepreneurs to come forward.
Till such time that we become a developed nation we need them and then they will need us.
Till then govt. can put all its resources in providing the basic things....water, electricity, education(primary only), food , health services and infrastructure.
This is one topic where i can write and write:), but I want everyone to read it, not skip it:)

Valentine & rang de

Got this in email from my brother, and I laughed so much that I couldnt stay without sharing it...........enlarge it to read it..really funny:)

Now about my earlier post Rang de...Most of the readers feel skeptical and they are right too..this is what scamsters have made us, but I got this mail thru BITSAA..that means somebody from BITSPILANI..believes in this and it gives me some confidence, secondly this organisation has been featured in Outlook money and a few other also...Initially I have invested only 5000/---, I always believe that.....if I am going thru a good time, then no harm in giving as I have enough, and if I am going through a bad time, then I must give, because as it is, it is not going to stay with me:), and presently it is a small amount, I have lost much more thru raju's:) i dont worry about getting it back..BUT if it makes even one person comfortable...I will be the happiest person....its my personal feeling.

RANG DE

One day , when I went to the market I bought the magazine..Outlook money..I like it very much, to read about personal finance management. And here I read about an organisation in micro financing, i had read about all this a lot, but this was the first time I found the address and could read everything in detail and i liked the concept very much. And see the coincidence, next day I get an email regarding the same thing..here it is..

Dear Friends,

I am writing today to introduce Rang De - India's first peer to peer micro lending platform with a mission to make low cost micro credit a reality.Rang De is an innovative attempt to bring down the cost of micro credit by enabling individuals to lend small sums of money via RangDe.Org. Rang De hopes to reach out and include people to whom even ‘traditional micro credit’ is unaffordable. Rang De is a non profit entity with the sole object of connecting individuals who need money to social investors like you. Rang De will create a sustainable alternative to charity by promoting online lending as a way of life.

How Rang De works?

Step1: Social Investors like you search and choose borrowers to make a social investment. You can invest as little as Rs.500.

Step 2: Rang De’s field partners receive and disburse loans to their borrowers.

Step 3: Borrower repays loan according to a repayment schedule

.Step 4: You receive your money at the end of the tenure and earn an interest of 3.5 % on the principal you have invested.Anyone can become a social investor on RangDe.Org by investing as small a sum of Rs.500.

So log on to www.rangde.org today to make a social investment today and share the colours of joy!

So I thought that it was not coincidence, but God who wanted me to know and invest there, and there is no greater joy than helping someone in getting on his own feet.This post is just to publicise this great endeavour of some people who are trying to make this world a better place to live in.

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else..