FRIENDS

Today i saw a quote and liked it..it was.like intelligent people have few friends because they are selective something like that..and as soon as I posted it in my group, discussion started. Those who have lot of friends, felt that it was a blow to their intellectual status and it left me wondering, how and why we make friends, and why some people have lots and some only few.

Actually making or not making friends, it all depends on liking and nature and we have all sort of people in this world.

There are some who like like to be surrounded by people, so they make lot of friends, and obviously they are not very selective about them. Because its very difficult to find lot many people who are like minded, you get only few.And in this scenario, not many people are genuine friends.

And there some people who like to be surround by one or two but like minded people,who believe in same things and have similar tastes, though sometimes opposites also attract.

For me personally I am a loner, prefer my own company over just any other person.I cant be friendly with just anyone and everyone. I help everywhere, whenever required, but I am friendly to a very few.and this has been the scenario from my childhood. I like my books more than artificial people , because i find many people who have no ethics and honesty in relationships, whereas for me these things are more important than affection even. And fake relationships are more painful than being on your own, because every second day you are hurt with their attitude. Today its a material world, people side where they gain, they dont have any permanent likings.

That way i can say that I like wise enemies more than foolish friends or even relatives.

What do you think?

Suicide

Recently an army man's suicide made me think about it..Generally suicide is considered a crime, even insurance doesnt pay for it and here Delhi Govt. promised one crore to his family.isnt it instigating people to do it..because ours is a poor country and one crore is a big amount.Govt. should pay where its right, legal and required.Not to someone who is doing a crime.

I have seen many people commiting suicide due to different reasons, family feud, marital discord, poverty.etc etc. and most of the time some or other people are blamed for their act. But according to me,no where we can blame others for that..its like this..In life many people are getting exploited but not everyone becomes Phoolan devi and this is not the course we can advocate.Life is difficult for everyone at sometime..and one has to face it .

I saw one youngman committing suicide after marital discord with wife..now tell me there may be a divorce also and there are many other people who needed him and this was 35 years back when anti dowry act was not so popular.

Many time I have seen people acting differently and depressed, but then nobody bothers, they should get medical help, but blaming others.. family members or office colleagues or boss or society is not right.

We can do multiple things to make a better society and living environment, but blaming others is not one of them.

From the beginning, one must inculcate the feeling that adults have all the responsibility for their own life..how they live, or how they treat it.

We are a society of blamers.....some body doesnt work hard..but not getting promotion is boss' bad attitude or the eaisest way to say is because I dont do buttering.
Road is dirty.blame the govt..but we will always throw the trash there.
I didint get the job..not because I may not be worthy of it, but because i didnt have a push
We never take responsibility for our actions.

Upbringing

Lately i keep listening to everybody saying that they have got the beest values or their parents imparted them the best.but the otherside is always without any kind of value...I really wonder, if everybody is so good, why is there so much of rudeness, and misery in the world, and where is the otherside.

There  was this lady who will thrust this sentence everytime there was a misunderstanding..

MY PARENTS have given me good values, and I cant live without them..
(mere mabaap ne hame bahut acche sanskaar diye hain ham to kuch aisa waisa kar hi nahin sakte)
.And I saw her behaving in the worst possible manner to her husband, and his family and she had no qualms about taking taking advantage of the family..leave aside siblings she didnt even care for his parents..

Now this is the values she had been brought up with:)

Then there was this young man who will claim very forcefully the same thing:)
Now this young man got caught in making money so much that he forgot his old friends, family even his own parents..

again the same question?

Then there was this young woman, who will keep giving odes to her parents..my parents this, my parents that, they have made me what I AM TODAY..I agree to this part but what is she BTW..has she accomplished something in her own life?...in education, or in job, or in housekeeping..even in her hobbies...zero..

So my point is that what we have learnt from our parents or not, everything is visible thru us..our behaviour, our personality, nobody needs to shout it..or rather those who shout , may be they are infact trying to convince themselves....we can shout whatever we want, but our actions and word can  only confirm our values and sanskaar...

I have seen many young people so nice, courteous, educated that when we meet them we feel so happy and think that they come from a good family..and I dont mean wealthy, NO..from a sanskaari family..because their upbringing can be seen thru them...

Hypocricy

With time everything changes. Earlier most of the people used to have a complex or feeling about something lacking in them..even if they did good to everyone, they thought they were not able to do it fully, they could have done better or more. But today their is excess in everything..most of the people I meet , think and say..
I am the best..
I go all out to help everybody.
People take advantage of me( but hello when everybody is being taken advantage, where are the people who take it:)
I am very honest in my dealings..whereas they may not be honest to their family even.


I felt very strange when a woman who didnt want her inlaws to stay with her and was totally out of her mind when they stayed with her for 6 months, telling me . this when it was earthquake there..I ask them so much that stay with us you are old,cant manage on your own.. but they dont want to...

Then someone hates corruption and then tells me that his father is very well off because he was an engineer in PWD...connect the dots:)

Then a totally biased and unfair person saying..I will teach my child to be fair in everything..hey.how can or will you teach that when you yourself are not?

A totally lazy person telling me that she/he is a cleanliness freak.

I have hundreds of statements like this .told me by hypocritical people.and I fail to understand why people lie so much or put up a facade? Does anybody gets fooled by this? I never do.

kya karen ham aise hi hain:)

I have come back after a lo0ng vacation. I was in my home town in UP.and one thing I realise every time I go there is that how much your mother tongue is important to you..there its so relaxing to speak Hindi and listen Hindi:).

And the next thing is food..one never gets the same flavour anywhere else and then summer fruits, I havent eaten..peaches, apricots,berries, leechis  dussehri mangoes and many more for many years, here one rarely sees them.

But inspite of all this I am always happy to be back..love my place, my routine everything.I really wonder when people want to live with children, leaving their own circle of friends, routines and life styles....May be that those living on their own have to work more, may have less luxury..so what..I would any day prefer that...I love my independence too much to sacrifice that..

Maid Woes

Getting a good domestic help is a big blessing of god, though I consider myself lucky that I have never been left in a lurch...but then never something too satisfactory even..some of my acquaintances keep saying that they wouldnt change their flat because they have got a perfect maid...perfect is too much and dont why coming too much in my posts:)..will have to take care..nothing is ever perfect...

I had this one who was good, talked to the point and regular too and I really cared for her, but then one fine day she traded me for her other employer's convenience, and forgot all I did:(..I still feel like asking her why....

Then there was another one  who was good in work, but demanded lot of things, but it was fine with me, then she started taking lot of leave, and once I deducted from her pay, then she came with a story that her daughter had some problem in brain and needed an MRI, I gave her 500/...and after that saw her no more....:)

In between there were some inconsequential ones...

Then I had this one who cooked for me,just a passable fare with no intention of learning anything...but whenever I went away she took care of everything..I mean all other work also if the other one was absent..that was quite important, as my MIL is very old and my hubby thought of her very considerate..but then she always took three times the money from me when I came back.unfortunately she had a fracture, and I couldnt get anybody for temporary job, so had to employ a new one, as I couldnt manage 2 months, earlier her husband had heart attack then I had managed for 20 days ...and helped her with some money too...this time too I gave her some money but couldnt keep her job...
In similar situation what should be done, because I feel guilty...of not supporting her in hours of her need..

This one was very intelligent, understood everything very fast and worked well, but she was very irregular in her timings and took too many leave and then sometimes at a time 10 days too, which is too much to adjust. She charged reasonably though but always wanted  6 months salary in advance.Since I am not a person who will ask everyday for every work and supervise, she suited me very well..I helped her a lot in everything but then she thought of me as a naive person and started taking advantage of me and left...

She is very regular without any leave but work is not so good and not very perceptive to my demands.She is pricey, but she is ready to do everything and some extra work also and knows cooking too, top of that good in Hindi.But one thing pinches me that she is charging 500/ extra from me for the same work that she is doing in other houses, and still puts in less time in my place than others..

One thing exasperates me here when I come to know that helpers think that north Indians pay easily and have lot of money, so they always demand more from us and always want to exploit us...its a pathetic thinking....

what to do..could anyone help me?

Politics

I feel very frustrated when some famous people say that politics and sports should be  kept separate or music and politics should be kept  separate. arent sports and music a part of our life and arent our soldiers a part of our life? If our hand is hurt our eyes cry, can we keep them separate and say dont feel hurt?Our soldiers are not killed, they are BEHEADED...shouldnt we  say in one voice.we shall not tolerate it?.Is it politics to feel for our fellow countrymen?...

How can people even think about AMAN KI AASHA  and SUR SHETRA with this back ground. We are considered weak if we think humane.War is not the answer and so is these culture exchanges..First we must make ourselves strong in all respects..internal, security and border security..and traitors should be punished, cleanse our own society, only then think about any cultural or otherwise exchanges.

Bomb blasts

Again Bomb blast in New Delhi.and we hear the same statement from politicians, and their visits and they will pay some money to dead and wounded and it goes on......what purpose it solves for terrorists to harm common people..see they are not important in India.
Why they keep the terrorist alive to give them a bargaining point? or to have some more casualties and strife?
Its time public rose against politicians and demand that all criminals be punished and done so fast..as delayed justice is not a justice..No mercy petitions be considered for people who have committed a crime against state or individuals....crime is a crime and specially the ones premeditated, and no pardon for that.
Amar Singh in jail..where is his bade bhaiya now?

BABA AMTE-ANAND VAN

http://www.indiainternational.com/pulabahurupi80/pula9.html here u can see the details of photograph

In Warora near Nagpur Baba Amte lived. I had the privilege to meet him and see what one man's will could do. he has transformed the life of so many people that it is amazing to see. In a sprawling complex which he made for leprosy patients, everything is there. His motto--dont give us charity ,give us work,we want to live a life of dignity is very unique.

There they are treated and made self reliant by training them in different vocations.They have textile looms, printing press,orange orchards,growing other fruits and vegetables, iron foundry, then schools, colleges, hospital, auditorium, shop, small zoo , tailoring units, leather units,post office and many more things.Hostels for blind, deaf and dumb also.There was o much to see and appreciate and I am too small a person to be able to write well about him., But i will tell you what is special there--

1. He spread so much of happiness, that there you will find all the people in a happy mood, though they are handicapped, but they are always smiling,ready to help others and very jovial, never saw any gloom over there


2. they manufacture the chappals made from old tyres---they are extremely comfortable and durable even in water and very cheap.


3. Their bedsheets and other material for kurtas and all were very reasonable rated and good also.


4. They are always using, recycling everything, like with plastic filling making pillows, old x ray film into wall hangings, boundaries with old tyres, and sitting areas with stones, all beautifies, looking so ethnic.


5. the whole ashram called ANANDAVAN is kept spic and span, well whitewashed and all.


6. their guavas and oranges were always the best quality.


7. they used to make greeting cards quite innovative.


8. purses, bags, wrought iron showpieces what is not there.


9. they have the best college library in Warora.


10. They used to have yoga classes, art of living, some best orchestras, sometimes I used to feel that Warora breathes because of them

He has shown that charitable organisations need not to be all downtrodden, ill kempt or ill managed. His ashram is a type of place we used to go every sunday for a outing.Their even after being cured many people have decided to stay, they dont want to leave.It is a self sufficient place, they dont go out for anything, city people go there for many thing.

His son and daughter-in-law have also taken after him. Recently they (Dr. Prakash amte and his wife) were awarded magsaysay award and nobody deserved it better.They are very simple people with high thinking
http://www.vinayahs.com/archives/2006/12/30/the-kids-at-baba-amtes-anandvan/ Here u can find the creativity of children over there.