ENGLISH VINGLISH

I saw English Vinglish with so much expectations , but was disappointed, I think everybody knows the story, so I shall tell you what I noticed..

I never endorse the view that those who know English are better off and more intelligent, because English is only a language, they know one more language, nowhere it becomes equal to poise, confidence, styling , affection,intelligence, everything as if its a Alaadin ka chirag. Sreedevi is shown as clumsy,unappealing housewife who is brusque with her husband, never affectionate..and according to her nobody respects her..( I dont give much importance to her teenage daughter, because many children feel that way but if tackled properly they change, I feel that its her upbringing too which is at fault).

and then she learns English and suddenly she becomes a diva. smart(starts wearing trench coats instead of shawl), gets oodles of confidence, and people start respecting her..gets accolades from everyone( her husband always appreciates her cooking but that is not important to her)..

I have seen many women who dont know English but are respected by everyone in their family and outside.Respect is not for English language, its for the person..

Even her encounter with visa people and all are ridiculous, because translators are always provided to those who dont know English.
I never like the woman who encourage extra marital affections for trivial reasons, one has to be strong in the character everywhere...
Dont know why people liked sridevi in this role, I found her looking haggard and her mannerisms awkward..would have preferred some other actress may be Tabu. or Divya balan



Desirable Daughters..Bharati Mukherjee
Most of the Bengali writers write about NRI Bengali's and their life, this is also about them and their own community.sort of Ok only

Equal Music...Vikram Seth
I liked his Suitable boy,and ten two lives too, so thought of reading it, but it couldnt interest me at all, so much so that i couldnt read it even.

I got two books from Robert Ludlum..
1..Traveyane...its not like Ludlum at all..no action, no supense, just talking..

2...Janson Directive...again it looks like a very old story written in a very small font and dint find it interesting.

and now..

नया साल मंगलमय हो, सब के जीवन में समृद्धि, खुशहाली लाये 

हमारी  शुभकामनाएँ 

Mother

In all the relationships this the one which is the backbone of every relationship in life, because its mother only WHO moulds the personality of an individual into what he becomes when he is grown up, so if one tries to be a good and efficient mother, many other problems of future are solved.and since mothers are adulated so much, itys time they took the responsibility also for the wrong doing s of their wards..Nobody can be a good mother by just pampering and providing for all the whims of their children.Mothering means giving them a good foundation with good values..... Of course there is no fixed formula for that, and it depends on person to person and circumstances, still if few basic things are maintained lot of work is done

when the kids are young that is time to start their education for discipline and moral values and better if its done through practice. At this time we can make their foundations strong with our love and model behaviour. Children always imbibe their elders. Whatever is learned in the childhood, stays forever.Normal practice is to leave them free when they are young , thinking-bade ho kar sab seekh jaayenge , but its not like that, habits are formed in the beginning only.and love doesnt mean just giving ,its judicial giving and judicial withholding.And sometimes listening to a firm NO makes them resilient,teaches them acceptance of life, where they cant get everything ..

In the teen years, they need a friend and confidante,so try to be friendly,not a friend, because its necessary for the children to respect the parents,no matter what,this habit of respecting parents brings in them a lot of discipline in life.This is the time to teach them to be confidant, not to be in awe of peer pressure, tell them about the rights and wrongs in the life,and if there is any problem, then parents are the best people to solve that.Give them a confidence that they can share anything with you, their fears, their choices everything. Dont be judgemental.When the children are taught values from the beginning, they may come to some cross roads in life and may be in a dilemma, but be sure they will never deviate from the path of righteousness.Trust them. This is the most turbulent phase of their life support them, be like a rock behind them and see them grow into confident individual.

Then it is time for them to choose a profession, let them make a choice, dont choose it for them.Its their life and they should have every right to take its decision.Give them freedom, but tell them that freedom with itself brings lot of responsibilities.Tell them the pros and cons of everything but the final decision should be theirs.Life is not always a bed of roses, let them find it for themselves, they will respect and value everything more this way. The best gift parents can give to their children is ROOTS---that is unstinted support in their ventures and.... WINGS. freedom to do what they want, its not that o parents can teach only, sometimes they can learn a lot  also from them .Dont do everything for them, rather tell them how to do it..Parents who try to do everything for their lot, are not making their life comfortable, rather sowing a seed for lifelong dissatisfaction, because when they will not get the same treatment from others in life, they will never appreciate anyone and wont get any appreciation too,They will be miserable due to their dependency habit.

Last duty-for the parents, if you feel like that is -finding them a partner, here also if they choose themselves, accept it happily,believe that you have inculcated enough sense of propriety, and values, so hopefully they will not go wrong. or they will learn..

SHOBHA AT SIXTY..SHOBHA DEY

KALKI: SELECTED STORIES
 This is a translation from Tamil by Gowri Ramnarayan.The stories are from old era, written in the same way as Premchand wrote in Hindi.The situations at that time were very different and morals very high, but there were all sort of people too.But all stories tell us about some ideal.first is about girl education, where a girl lost the love of her life because she couldnt read, and so she studied  and devoted her life to girl's education.Then there is one about untouchability, child marriage etc.
Nice read.

SHOBHA AT SIXTY..SHOBHA DEY
Shobha dey writes in her style about life after sixty.Its a sort of management guide for woman written in a simple and interesting way.Some very simple solutions for complicated problems, though i am sceptical of them working.As is common with all the people who have everything, they say they like simple things and they work from them, cant believe how much of that is true and how much just to make an image. But some ideas are really good and workable too, so all in all a good read...

Humanity

Lately where ever i see there is a huge cry for justice for that unfortunate girl in Delhi. Govt is so pressurised from everyone that they are promising all help in treatment.Everybody is so disgusted that they want castration or death to the rapist..
But nobody is looking for any long term solutions, In dont think that only stern punishment can deter the others. And so many times rapes are not reported, people are not caught even.I always think that the men who did this, they are also the brothers, and sons, how their families feel? and what type of mother they have to have brought up such a son..
We need to bring back the values in life..
All the women need to bring up their children with certain moral values and for that they need to live those ones.
When the children watch everything, families never bother
. When children speak wrong language, they are just brushed off.
.Nobody becomes a pervert or criminal just one fine day, the signs are there for the families to see , but they dont take pains to reform them.

How many parents instill good values in children by telling them everyday and by living them?,,they are just taken for granted...hamaare bacche hain acche hi hain aur honge.Parents are giving too much pocket money to children, vehicle when they are underage for license even and money is giving them the freedom to drink and enjoy.....

Most of the time we are so involved with the finance factor or convenience that we completely forget morals.
Only police or govt cant solve the problem..Its the whole society which has to change.to learn to respect the moral values instead of financial status.
we must bring education to everyone.
And every mother must strive hard to bring up HUMAN  children, not those robots
Teach your children to respect other human beings
When women harass their DILs they send a message to men that women have no value or respect..
Its parents duty to teach children to care for others too, not only..I,ME,Myself.
We must learn to co exist, stop the vulgar display of wealth...
We are running fast in the western direction whereas our society is not prepared for that( though i dont think that direction is good because they are battling with young unwed mothers, adopted children and plethora of problems, but all that we shall earn by suffering only)

We must talk to the accused families to know ..did they never know about their men?...otherwise why they didnt bother?

Till such time that we have better police, better administration and better society, it is in the good of girls only to live with precautions and safety..
Never take a bus in which there is no other passenger..
Keep a chilli spray and knife in your purse.
Try not to travel alone(though it didnt help this girl)
Keep a helpline no on speed dial on your phone.
If you are travelling at night, immediately take auto's no and driver's name and sms both to you family..everyday.
Best of Luck for surviving in this jungle!

QUEEN OF DREAMS

For a long time I wanted to read something by.Chitra Bannerjee Divakaruni, so when i got hold of this book, I coudnt stop myself, and this is very interesting, I couldnt do anything till I finished.In the story Rakhi is an Indian born in US and living there .Her mother is a dream teller(sort of clairvoyance).She was a poor orphan in the slums of Calcutta, where one dream teller saw her gift and took her under her wing,They taught her everything about dream telling and controlling their dreams, their interpretation and helping others through them. But for this special gift, she was supposed to live a lonely life,no marriage and not even talking much.But she falls in love and leaves the sect and goes with him to US.and in the bargain looses here special gift.But then at sometime she becomes restless without her dreams and longs for them back in her life, so she secretly works and collects money for the ticket back to her sect.and just when she is ready, she finds that she is pregnant.and when she doesnt get any instructions thru her dream, she gives birth to a girl, and then her dreams comeback, but with a condition that she cant sleep with her husband.Then the story is about the effect on her husband and her daughter, and how she helps other people and many more things....I just loved this book and now I am going to read more of her writings.

Loving and not needing the person is the purest form of love...I just loved this line of hers.


WISE AND OTHERWISE..SUDHA MURTHY
This is a compilation of many incidents in Sudha Murthy's life, they form a story and every incident gives us a lesson in life.I think everyone should read it .it teaches us values, humanity and ways of life.There are 51 of them,I shall cite a few...
One poor boy who was given money for his boarding and studies, returned two months allowance when there was holidays..
In sahyadri hills, a tribal leader taught humility, when he refused to accept anything without giving something because thats their culture, their ancestors taught them...do not take without giving
That our youngster do not know anything about history about who was Jhansi ki rani and what is her contribution to the freedom
Why the important days like 15 august and all are declared a holiday, because most of the people enjoy the holiday forgetting the importance of the day.
How for any charities, politicians of that area are felicitated and real donors are relegated to back ground.
How people will spend a lot on clothes, parties, jewelleries, but when it comes to helping others, they have no money or many excuses.
People who seek help should also have some qualities.ask for help only when you have exhausted all your resources and  when money is needed for medical or education purposes.One shouldnt need to take money for holidaying or for better standard of living, even if it is from relatives.
There are many more jewels in the book and you will have to read it to know:)

Strasbourg

Strasbourg is the capital of Alsace region in eastern France.We went driving over there from Zurich.its two and a half hour drive. The city is just after crossing the border of Switzerland.With a small child wherever we went , we could start only around 11 or 12 and then as soon as you start lunch time is there. Since we were in a hurry to reach, we thought of picking Pizza from Migros and started our journey.My grandchild A is totally averse to sitting in the car seat and so after some time, he just started howling, whatever we did nothing made him happy, so my son stopped the car at one place and  walked him on the roadside and he was happy:).We reached around 2 , then took the hotel, kept the luggage there and started towards the city.

The main area is around cathedral. So we looked for a parking space some where, and this is the biggest work abroad..to look for a parking , ultimately my son dropped us at a cafe and went away to park.Like most of the other cities, this is also located around a river. From the cathedral, a mini train runs a one hour trip of the city.We decided to take it next day.The place around cathedral is so beautiful and lively that we wanted to enjoy that.Thats the beauty of Europe..these squares in the city.without any vehicle, with restaurants, musicians, sometimes rides too and designer shops as well as local souvenir, one can find everything...its fun to walk around..

In the evening i found very good Mediterranean food, just outside our hotel,to me falafal salad is fine with coke, and their dressing was.hmm..yummy..I loved it..

Next day we took the train and the trip was very enjoyable, specially the area of Petit France..its so beautiful.half timbered houses in cobbled streets..with an old world charm..everywhere everything is written in french, otherwise German is common..
But it was an open train and with bright sun it became unbearable hot for my child, and we wanted to hurry up.Had our lunch at those open restaurants.though lunch was awesome pizza, but the taste was spoiled as my son lost his glares..I never thought that there too people are like that...

CATHEDRAL SQUARE

SOUVENIR SHOPS

IN FRONT OF RAILWAY STATION

PETIT FRANCE

MAKING SOUVENIR FROM PENNY

All in all we had a very enjoyable trip, its a beautiful place worth seeing.

Derive happiness from your work, not from the things

I got this as email fwd but the feelings expressed are exactly mine and expresses much better than I ever could, specially the last line.......derive happiness from your work not from the things...

'The Blunt Truth about Making Millions', Article by

Adam Khoo, Singapore 's youngest millionaire.

 

'Some of you may already know that I travel around the region pretty frequently, having to visit and conduct seminars at my offices in Malaysia, Indonesia, Thailand and Suzhou (China). I am in the airport almost every other week so I get to bump into many people who have attended my seminars or have read my books.

Recently, someone came up to me on a plane to KL and looked rather shocked. He asked, 'How come a millionaire like you is travelling economy?' My reply was, 'That's why I am a millionaire. ' He still looked pretty confused. This again confirms that greatest lie ever told about wealth (which I wrote about in my latest book 'Secrets of Self Made Millionaires'). Many people have been brainwashed to think that millionaires have to wear Gucci, Hugo Boss, Rolex, and sit on first class in air travel. This is why so many people never become rich because the moment that earn more money, they think that it is only natural that they spend more, putting them back to square one.

The truth is that most self-made millionaires are frugal and only spend on what is necessary and of value. That is why they are able to accumulate and multiply their wealth so much faster. Over the last 7 years, I have saved about 80% of my income while today I save only about 60% (because I have my wife, mother in law, 2 maids, 2 kids, etc. to support). Still, it is way above most people who save 10% of their income (if they are lucky). I refuse to buy a first class ticket or to buy a $300 shirt because I think that it is a complete waste of money. However, I happily pay $1,300 to send my 2-year old daughter to Julia Gabriel Speech and Drama without thinking twice.

When I joined the YEO (Young Entrepreneur' s Organization) a few years back (YEO is an exclusive club open to those who are under 40 and make over $1m a year in their own business) I discovered that those who were self-made thought like me. Many of them with net worths well over $5m, travelled economy class and some even drove Toyota's and Nissans (not Audis, Mercs, BMWs).

I noticed that it was only those who never had to work hard to build their own wealth (there were also a few ministers' and tycoons' sons in the club) who spent like there was no tomorrow. Somehow, when you did not have to build everything from scratch, you do not really value money. This is precisely the reason why a family's wealth (no matter how much) rarely lasts past the third generation. Thank God my rich dad (oh no! I sound like Kiyosaki) foresaw this terrible possibility and refused to give me a cent to start my business.

Then some people ask me, 'What is the point in making so much money if you don't enjoy it?' The thing is that I don't really find happiness in buying branded clothes, jewellery or sitting first class. Even if buying something makes me happy it is only for a while, it does not last. Material happiness never lasts, it just give you a quick fix. After a while you feel lousy again and have to buy the next thing which you think will make you happy. I always think that if you need material things to make you happy, then you live a pretty sad and unfulfilled life.

Instead, what make ME happy is when I see my children laughing and playing and learning so fast. What makes me happy is when I see by companies and trainers reaching more and more people every year in so many more countries. What makes me really happy is when I read all the emails about how my books and seminars have touched and inspired someone's life. What makes me really happy is reading all your wonderful posts about how this BLOG is inspiring you. This happiness makes me feel really good for a long time, much much more than what a Rolex would do for me.

I think the point I want to put across is that happiness must come from doing your life's work (be in teaching, building homes, designing, trading, winning tournaments etc.) and the money that comes is only a by-product.

 

If you hate what you are doing and rely on the money you earn to make you happy by buying stuff, then I think that you are living a life of meaningless.......'

Mumbaistan..Piush Jha

This time my daughter on my bday gifted me the membership of this book borrow library...www.bookborrow.com.. and this is the first book I read. It has three stories..one about a girl rabia who is aLeT terrorist, and Tanveer a small time criminal who is blackmailed by ACP to work for police against terrorists.
Second story is about organ trading, exploitation of dalits and their revenge.
Third story is about a man in coma..and this is the most interesting one. All the stories are about deceit, betrayal, corruption and crime.written in a day to day language  it is interesting to read as it is a thriller.
But I want something more from any book, something to learn, something new to know or some good language, some insight into anything, anyone, sadly its none of that.

Second book i demanded was..Secrets of Naga..as i had heard a lot about this trilogy from Amish Tripathi, but didnt like it, its a sort of metaphorical story...I didnt enjoy reading about Shiv Sati and other divine characters talking in common language..and behaving like humans.

Life cycle

When I was young and had two children and a very active social life, there was no time for anything else and i must have missed many opportunities for self.for education, job and awareness. Life seemed to be so complete that i became quite complacent for personal growth...
And when children grew up a little, they always wanted ME only everywhere, whether it was their lunch time or home work or anything else, and then  sometime i wanted some me time..Like whenever I used to go for my annual trips I would ask my children and hubby not to even call me:) because if I didnt pick the phone they would get angry with me, so i wanted to be free of all expectations..it was liberating to feel NOT NEEDED...But my children and hubby used to keep tab on my travelling time, safety and everything..they will call me before I left, once in the middle of journey and then when I reached safely, they will be relieved..and I think somewhere deep inside me I liked that feeling of being cared:)..
Because today when children have become busy in their own world,they neither have time nor inclination to keep track that much, I miss that...
Its human tendency that what we get we dont like, but miss it when it is not there,( thank God my husband still  keeps track of me, wherever I go).
Its called life cycle, where sometimes you like it if you are not needed, and sometimes you want to feel that you are needed