quotes

I am the inferior of any man whose rights I trample under foot. 

Men are not superior by reason of the accidents of race or 

color. They are superior who have the best heart, the best brain. 

The superior man stands erect by bending above the fallen. 

He rises by lifting others.

~Robert Green Ingersoll~

Why there is so much stress in life ?

It is because we focus too much on good living standards

Rather than "living with good standards"

Unknown

"Society does not go down because of the activities of criminals, But because of the inactivities of the good people." - Swami Vivekananda

God changes appearances every second.

Blessed is the man who can recognize him in all his disguises.

One moment he is a glass of fresh water, the next, your son bouncing on your knees

 or an enchanting woman, or perhaps merely a morning walk

No horse gets anywhere until he is harnessed. No stream or gas drives anything until it is confined.

 No Niagara is ever turned into light and power until it is tunneled.

No life ever grows great until it is focused, dedicated, disciplined. 

Harry Emerson Fosdick

The hottest place in Hell is reserved for those who remain neutral in times of great moral conflict

 Martin Luther King Jr.

Each is given a bag of tools,

A shapeless mass,

A book of rules;

And each must make,

Ere life has flown,

A stumbling block

Or a stepping stone.

 R.L. Sharpe

The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. 

You don't blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the President. 

You realize that you control your own destiny.

Albert Ellis

He who buys what he needs not,
sells what he needs.

~Japanese Proverb~

To me, a life that is slack is a life being lived inefficiently.

Love..II part

whenever Valentine day is around corner, love is in the air, in everyone's mind and heart but

What is love? people seem to claim love to every third person,boys and girls promise to love each other, parents always say that they love their children most and so on.....But love ha kya?

Is it about expensive gifts even if some time they erode your finances?

Or is it  about some meaningless consumerism?

Is it pampering your children to the hilt and giving them everything they desire?

Is it  the money given by children to their parents and then live freely?

Is it  to see that your friend being cheated and keep quiet for the fear of spoiling the relationship?

Is it to see that your children are doing wrong but to keep quiet for the fear they will leave you or you will be in their bad books?

Each to his own but to me...

Gifts and celebrations should be always budgeted and within limit..those who save for the future and then spend always live a stress free life.

A loving parent should never give the children what they desire but what they need, as too much pampering makes them lazy, and unfit to deal with the realities of life.Parents are doing harm to them by making them soft targets for the harsh realities of live.Children should be brought up with values and taught the importance of hard work,they must learn to deal with NO also as life is not always so rosy.

Friendship shouldnt be based on statuses and life styles, rather on likings of each other's traits.

Parents need the good behaviour of their adult children more than their gifts and money..they should be given due respect and made to feel a part of their life, but since all this needs effort, most of the children want to get away with money.

To me if we love someone, we must look after the welfare of the person and if at any point of life he/she is going to get harm, we must help...and truth is supreme to me, to me love can never mean to justify the wrongs of our loved ones....Being truthful and right is also important.yes if one is broadminded, one can forgive, but i feel frustrated when i see some people being totally biased........finding only good with the people they love and all faults with the people they dont love....I never go that blind..and i feel i am doing a disservice to my loved ones by doing that.even if my enemy has some good points, I will praise him/her, and if my loved ones have some bad habits, I will try to tell them..though with love and quietly.
I absolutely believe in Kahlil Zibran when he says.....
Love is not only giving..its judicial giving and judicial withholding.

What are they doing?

First in Maharashtra congress waived of loans of those farmers who didnt pay...it was like penalising those who were honest and paid..because all the farmers must be treated equally..why award the defaulters..there are many other ways of helping those in distress but this type of ruling sends a wrong signal...but who cares, if it was their own money they would think twice before spending...

Then in Delhi  govt. waived of 50% of electricity bills of those who were defaulters..what does it tell us..its better not to pay, you may get it waived off..why cant they reward those who are paying?

Telengana bill is passed amid secrecy...and tamasha..we elect people to take decisions in majority, and if majority of elected people is not in favour then why do it? Everything should be transparent and clear..

Now in TN Former prime minister's killers are freed....I fail to understand the feeling behind it..
Is it because they(govt) feel that killers were justified in doing what they did?..But then no body should be allowed to take law in his own hand, because if we did, then there will be murders everyday, because there is always some injustice is being done to some one somewhere and for that we have courts to get justice.we cant show our angst thru violence, violence has no place in a civic society
In crimes.no religion, region or caste should interfere, and doing politics in such cases totally disgusts me..

Love

Now a days there is promo on TV coming, saying Love is in air---its about love stories on firangi channel. Then everyday we hear some one saying- I have found real love ( saif exclaiming that for Kareena-just imagine a man having two children saying that---disgusting )What is love then?
When a boy looks for a beautiful girl as a life partner---is it love ?
When girls go for a well settled boy---is it love ?
When on the valentine's day big gifts are expected and sometimes demanded, is it love ?
or when on the mother's day or fathers days, gifts are given or they are feted, is it love ?
Then what is love. It may have different meanings and connotations for different people, for me love means-----
when a mother takes care of her child it is love,
when a father protects his children disciplines them (so what if he looks like a little over strict ) its love
When a husband of sixty years worries every time his wife is unwell, its love
When the children look after their parents emotionally, physically and financially , it is love.
When a wife who herself is old still always makes the bed tea for her husband, it is love.

Today's love stories which may not even continue for even 6 months are not love, just pastimes or a mutual attraction. Love is endurance,patience, acceptance and much more. Its not about changing partners on slightest whim, or celebrating it on a particular day. Its an ongoing process for life. Love is there everyday. It manifests itself in every single thing you do. Its eternal.
Love is
about not hurting your loved ones,
putting their happiness before yours,
accepting them for what they are,
never taking them for granted,
respecting your people
having no ego and
being there when they need you,

and love is not there--
when you
think of getting even,
getting an upper hand or trying to dominate in relationships,
being sarcastic,
taking advantage of their love,
there are so many things I can think of , but the point is there is no point in celebrating love on one day, its better to be that way all the time and try to understand the meaning of love--its not between couple feeling only which is love, love is omnipresent and in everything , and the backbone of a society, whether its for people, pets, environment or any other cause.
continued...

THREE MISTAKES OF MY LIFE-CHETAN BHAGAT

This is a story of three friends; Govind-the protagonist is a maths graduate and inclined for business, Ish is an unsuccessful cricketer but still very passionate about cricket and Omi who belongs to a rightist hindu family. The story is based in Gujarat. Its about ish; passion for cricket, where he patronises a poor muslim boy who has a great knack in cricket and all three friends protect him, sometimes putting their life at the stake . Its about Govind who teaches maths to Ish;s sister and falls for her defying the protocol.Ish's sister Vidya is also one of her kind, today's modern girl,bold with lot of spunk.Its about Omi, who is a son of a priest , but he doesn't want to be one. And in the back ground is earth quake, Godhra and communal riots.
I have read ONE NIGHT AT CALL CENTRE by the same author, it was an engrossing one, so I bought this one, but it is a very insipid novel with no life. Characters are mere caricatures of preconceived notions going on for years---like minorities are good and poor, rightists are bad and cruel and all that. and as the main characters none of them is exemplary nor even brings an extraordinary insight into the human mind. Everything is very ordinary-characters, situations, and treatment.
So for me all in all a very boring book.,

I read it before it was made into the movie.

Sycamore Row..John Grisham.
It is about Seth Hubbard , a rich man who made lot of money but one by one lost all to his divorces and after second divorce he again makes lot of it and keeps it a secret and when he gets cancer and death is imminent, he makes a hand written will leaving 90 % of his 20 million dollar estate to his black maid, 5% to church and 5% to his brother , leaving his children totally out of it. He appoints a lawyer whom he has never seen but knows that he is an honest one among the crowd of greedy ones . and then he hangs himself leaving the details about his burial and all. Rest is all the court drama about probating the will and defending it to a jury of majority white,and finding a reason why he did it.

Reading now Serial dieter by Kalli Purie

Values

Today I met a young computer engineer. I am writing our conversation verbatim here:--
So, your wife also works ?
Yes, she is a lecturer in a Delhi college and co-writes books also. actually this the best profession for girls.
Dont say that :), times have changed now.
yes, but the values are same.,  the way a mother can look after the children nobody can.
But in the changed times ,father's are also doing the same.
No, aunty, you see when both are busy, and in the evening just 1 or 2 hrs are there,nobody wants to say anything to the kids. or if you have to leave them in the creche or with the servants(he is living with his inlaws.) they dont learn values and get spoiled.
Am I enlightened? ::))
I feel a little surprised,  there are still some who think that only home makers can provide values to kids...and then mother sacrifices her dream of a good career, and family compromises on  luxuries...Thats Ok, but for the woman to live a fulfilled life, its necessary to do what she wants to..and she can take a sabbatical for some period but totally sacrificing her career, if she is career minded, will make her frustrated.We need happy mothers, not the ones who cant stop telling their children how much they have sacrificed for them:)

SACRED GAMES..VIKRAM CHANDRA

when I saw this book, I felt that OMG..this is such a thick book like Ramayana , will I be able to read it or more finish it....finish I did and the reread it again, because it needed it.It is a story of intrigue, betrayal, patriotism in different forms and so much.
This is the story of a don..Ganesh Gaitunde..his initiation in this world and rise, his womanising, killings and looking after his people everything..his fears, his spiritualism and his patriotism..
The second protagonist is Sartaj singh a sikh handsome policeman who is considered honest in police parlance due to his relatively less commissions than other members of his tribe. His mother was a refugee from Pakistan and has seen the grief during partition and has certain beliefs.
In between there are many characters..
Jojo ..a small town girl from south who becomes a television serial producer and a MADAM who supplies girls also, connects them with others.
Parulkar..a Senior  police officer connected with Suleiman ISa Muslim don
Shridhar Shukla..Hindu swami, who wants to annihilate the country first to bring new good order
and many more RAW and secret agencies, and its about how police in Mumbai make money..and all that but one thing is clear that those who live by gun ,die by gun.
The only thing that I didnt like was the abuses in the language, may be I havent seen or lived with such people, so it very repulsive to me to talk like that, secondly all policeman talk dirty about any woman who goes there..its very..what should I say..I cant respect anybody or his work if they behave and talk like that, though sometimes they are doing good work..


Theodore Boone..the activist..John Grisham
Theodore is the teenage son of lawyer couple and in a project becomes the activist against the people who want to profit without caring about the environment or animals.Its a book for teenagers only

Daughters are always so special !!

There is this story running around face book, emails and everybody is just ooooh  aaah..ing...daughters are so special and all that...first read it:)


On the first day of their marriage, wife and husband decided and agreed not to open the door for anyone! On that day first, husband’s parents came to see them, they were behind the door. Husband and the wife looked at each other, husband wanted to open the door, but since they had an agreement he did not open the door, so his parents left. After a while the same day , wife’s parents came , wife and the husband looked at each other and even though they had an agreement , wife with tears on her eyes whispered , I can’t do this to my parents , and she opened the door. Husband did not say anything, years passed and they had 4 boys and the fifth child was a girl. The father, planned a very big party for the new born baby girl, and he invited everyone over. Later that night his wife asked him what was the reason for such a big celebration for this baby while we did not do it for the others! The Husband simply replied, because she is the one who will open the door for me!

Daughters are always so special !!

But is all our interpretation and what we want to see..like for me...

Here the wife is not a good human being...because she differentiates so much between two sets of PARENTS and she is not kind to everybody
secondly she is not trustworthy because she doesnt follow the commitments..she made a pact with her husband but when it came to her personal feelings she didnt follow, for me a commitment is commitment, once I promise something to anyone I will do that irrespective of results...

Whereas husband is a good man..he follows what he says and suffers( when his parents are not allowed.
He felt hurt but didnt rebuke his wife and lived long with her, though he didnt forget that incident...

so who is to be idolised?

I am not saying daughters are not special..I have a daughter and she is very special to me, not because she loves me but because she she love me and besides that she is a good human being... She may or may not love her inlaws(all will depend on the other side also) but she would never be disrespectful or rude  to them and wont give them grief..

What do you think?....

With all the reactions..one thing i realised that even husband is not good, he is a coward, one should always do the right thing in life irrespective of consequences..

safety .how

In my last post I asked a few questions and most of the people agree that we take everything very lightly..but why cant we start a change...I have a few suggestions which we as a responsible citizen may follow..

In any adventure game, before participating, we should gather as much knowledge as possible about everything that may go wrong and what precautions we must take, then check the institute or instructors whether they have got certification and followed all the safety norms and regulations.

Whenever we have incidents in amusement parks, we must boycott them for some time, their financial loss will teach them a lesson they will never forget.

Whenever travelling through ferry always see that its not over crowded, and if the boatmen dont listen, then get out of it..I myself saw this over crowding when I went to Omkareshwar.

Whenever there is a riot, dont encourage the gossip and rumours, try to help everybody irrespective of caste and be an active member in community meetings and vigilance and always realise that in all the riots people are misguided by vested interests...

We always say we have this chalta ha attitude..what is this we?...cant we start the change..dont be a meek bystander and let the life go by...