40 YEARS OF MARRIAGE

Last week I competed 40 years of my marriage and when I introspected I realised that i have come a long way in my life. When i got married i was a very naive girl of 18 , not very worldly wise, from a small town, so had no exposure to anything except academics.I learned a lot on the way...Today i want to share my observations , experiences and inferences...

The best virtue in life is to be grateful and specially for the people who love you. Because we are free to love whosoever we want but getting love in return is not guaranteed, if we get it its a blessing of god,so we should never take such people for granted..rather treasure them.

We must never forget those who did something for us...either we shouldnt take help, hospitality or anything from anybody(which may not be possible)..but if we accept that ,we should be grateful for life..help in need can never be repaid.

In our culture , to be happy in life, its better for the girls to have alignment more with inlaws...it doesnt mean we cant  look after our parents and family..NO we should be there in their hour of need,physically and financially both ..but for all other day to day purposes, we should be on one side whole heartedly, otherwise we become like a coalition government where nothing works, nobody is happy.Equality doesnt  work this way.

Before marrying one should think hundred times about everything..candidates should talk about everything.expectations from marriage, duties and responsibilities,.finance handling , housekeeping, children upbringing and parents everything, but after marriage dont go back on your promises....

Today with my children settled I am in a happy space..and grateful to god for my health,finance and a good husband:)....But I have worked hard for all this..I have never shirked from my duties whether it was for my siblings or my children or my inlaws..,,My MIL still is with me only and  HAPPILY...I never got the return from the people whom i cared for ,but instead God gave me so many things that I have no complaints..It makes me believe in karma very strongly.

DEVOTION OF SUSPECT X... Keigo Higashino

DEVOTION OF SUSPECT X... KEIGO HIGASHINO
This is a crime thriller, but one of its own kind.A genius mathematician  sees a sales woman at a restaurant and starts liking her..they are neighbours too.That woman is harassed by her ex husband and at one such time he is killed by her daughter. After that how that neighbour helps her makes the story. The conversations between this mathematician and his Physics friend are very thought provoking..so many insights into the maths and once he tells a student why math should be studied..
All in all very very good book worth a read..


MANY CONDITIONS OF LOVE..FARHAD JAMA
Very interesting book..its about a middle class Muslim family settled in Vizag.Father is running a matrimonial agency and son is an idealistic civil engineer.In between there are many side stories about father,s employee Aruna, and many agencies customers etc.Its so enjoyable to read about day to day normal life and people.s travails...About BT cotton seed, farmers plights, widows condition in society ..like that...I liked it.


The Power..Rhonda Byrne
I read her Secret and liked it so got this one. Initially its good to read and i agree to this point also that power lies in our thoughts and feelings and they bring to us whatever we imagine. But it seems to me that writer goes on and on repeating the same thing and sometimes without any logic.So it becomes boring..

Do the clothes make a man?

As Vivekananda said that  in western culture may be clothes make a man but in our culture character makes a man..And how i agree to this....

Today whenever i see the people starting kid's fashion zone or designer clothes or something like that I really feel sad that they are going for something so artificial and giving the children wrong direction

So many people, even my hubby says.if we can afford why not?..so doest everything comes down  to affordability/..Not according to me..for children, its about giving them a right perspective in life, emphasis on the right things and secondly there is a time for everything.Once they become adult they may decide in which direction they want to go, but in their childhood it becomes important to teach  them sensitivity to the environment and society,and value of good morals Take care of their academics and sports and hobbies.

I dont mean to say that we dont need good clothes or when parents themselves are decked up in labels, why should the children be left out?It is because children out grow the clothes very fast and secondly they feel that clothes are more important than anything else, because they are too young to understand the dynamics of life..

A person will always admire and respect  Narayan Murthy irrespective of his clothes...Clothes can bring appreciation and envy, but not the respect to anyone. Thats the reason i feel that we should give more importance to.. what we do than what we wear..

Now many people will say why cant we have both....so we can if we have become an icon for our kids..with our morals and value..It should be in that order only..first character then clothes, not the vice versa.

what is your take?

Story

Arey! Mr. Sharma hasnt come today..said Mr. srivastav to other friends..they were all retired people who used to gather in the evening in the park. Just then they saw Mr. Sharma coming..today he seemed very happy and had a spring in his gait. He told his friends  that just now he had got the phone from his son that he was coming home for two weeks.
Sharmaji was a middle class man, and he had a dream that once his son grows up, and gets settled, he(sharma) would sit in the balcony in the morning, with his wife and drink tea, read newspaper free of all responsibilities. But his son decided to go abroad..now he was coming for a few weeks...so Mr. sharma thought that he can fulfill his dream for atleast 2 weeks, his wife thought..my legs would get some rest now..DIL will look after the house, I will play with the children and enjoy their company.

There his son and family were thinking about their India trip, son said..I am so tired of all these deadlines and all the work, I am going home,and relax, papa is there , I will ask him to complete some of my paper work also. Wife said..I am so fed up of cooking all the time and taking care of the children..I will just sit there..mom can look after the kids and cooking..

When dreams clash..everything goes down..kya hona tha, son went back earlier than planned..parents were totally dissappointed..nobody remained happy.

This is the synopsis of a story i read in a magazine and thought of it..why it happens?..Its always the wrong expectations.

Lets take the parents first..They always postpone their life for children,instead children should be a part of their life, not life  itself..If they need help they must employ a domestic help..may be cut some other expenses but spend on getting help..They must save for their retirement, instead of providing only for the children,nothing for their old age.

For the children..when they go home, they are grown ups and their parents have grown old now, so instead of taking help, they should try to help them. For relaxing they must take another holiday...on their own.

some quotes

The less you respond to rude,critical,argumentative people.

the more peaceful your life would be.

Mandy Hale

To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children.; 

to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;

 to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a little better; 

whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; 

to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. 

This is the meaning of success.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Whatever we perceive in the world around us 

tends to reflect who we are 

and what we care about most deeply, 

as in the old saying,

 "When a thief sees a saint, all he sees are his pockets."

Robert Frager

​​

We have not inherited the earth from our ancestors, 

We have only borrowed it from our children. 

unknown.

Admiration and familiarity are strangers. 

George Sand

Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone you don't

Earl Wilson

In what you say of another, 

apply the test of kindness, necessity and truth,

 and let nothing pass your lips without a 2/3 majority. 

Liz Armbruster

In matters of conscience, first thoughts are best. 

In matters of prudence, last thoughts are best.

Robert Hall

Another way of looking at this: Don't feel bad if

people remember you only when they need you.

Feel privileged that you are like a candle that

comes to their mind when there is darkness.

 Unknown

Memory keeper,s daughter..Kim Edwards

I read it last week..very poignant story.Doctor Henry had a very difficult childhood,his sister was mentally retarded and died at the age of 12 and his mother was heartbroken . So when his wife gives birth to twins, one Son and one daughter, and daughter has down syndrome, he gives her away thinking that such child will make her wife miserable.But life is nothing if its not so predictable. That one deed breaks his family and his life completely.
Interesting book

King and Maxwell....David baldacci
His books are so thick but such racy thrillers that i totally enjoy reading as something light.

Recently I saw Bang Bang..at some places its scene by scene copy of Knight and day.It starts very slowly and picks later on.Music is forgettable, only thing worth watching are stunts by Hritik..specially the water ones..