New Year and my resolutions

Another year passed and again its time to think about resolutions. So far my track record has been very good, whatever I resolve, I follow, but this year what I am thinking of, needs others co-operation too. You see recently I crossed the milestone of 60..and got the proper stamp of a senior citizen( though women are considered senior citizen after 58 only)..I feel that its high time I got complete freedom from all societal pressures.Now everybody may think that at my age what pressure I can have,but this is not true.I have so many.But now I want to say that..

I will not call or talk to anybody whom  I dont want to.for whatever reason.I feel irritated with forced talk..result may be the loss of relationship,but i am ready to loose that.

I will not go anywhere, where I dont find the need to go like there are so many occasions where its just a formality to show your presence, and in the process, one spends sometimes lot of money and bears the inconvenience..most of the time its for some deaths in the families, sometimes its for marriages also..But here my belief is that if i care for someone, I do my best for them, and to them I will show my grief also, but going long distances just to give attendance is a waste of resources and i find it very awkward to condole somebody verbally.

I dont want to be extra nice to bad people..yes there are some vicious people whom you want to blast left and right and being nice to them is a strain on my energy.

I  shall voice my opinion freely without thinking of consequences :)

Dont you think that there should be a certain span of life when you live as you want?
Now friends, tell me, are my resolutions feasible, will I be able to follow them?

Suicide

Recently an army man's suicide made me think about it..Generally suicide is considered a crime, even insurance doesnt pay for it and here Delhi Govt. promised one crore to his family.isnt it instigating people to do it..because ours is a poor country and one crore is a big amount.Govt. should pay where its right, legal and required.Not to someone who is doing a crime.

I have seen many people commiting suicide due to different reasons, family feud, marital discord, poverty.etc etc. and most of the time some or other people are blamed for their act. But according to me,no where we can blame others for that..its like this..In life many people are getting exploited but not everyone becomes Phoolan devi and this is not the course we can advocate.Life is difficult for everyone at sometime..and one has to face it .

I saw one youngman committing suicide after marital discord with wife..now tell me there may be a divorce also and there are many other people who needed him and this was 35 years back when anti dowry act was not so popular.

Many time I have seen people acting differently and depressed, but then nobody bothers, they should get medical help, but blaming others.. family members or office colleagues or boss or society is not right.

We can do multiple things to make a better society and living environment, but blaming others is not one of them.

From the beginning, one must inculcate the feeling that adults have all the responsibility for their own life..how they live, or how they treat it.

We are a society of blamers.....some body doesnt work hard..but not getting promotion is boss' bad attitude or the eaisest way to say is because I dont do buttering.
Road is dirty.blame the govt..but we will always throw the trash there.
I didint get the job..not because I may not be worthy of it, but because i didnt have a push
We never take responsibility for our actions.

Marriage and divorce

Recently there was a case in the court where court granted divorce because wife wanted the men to leave his parents..I dont remember the details , but there was lot of noise by women saying that when men take the girls away from the parents its called marriage, but when a girl wants to keep a man away from parents its divorce why?

Really why?

I think it has many reasons, some  in culture and traditions and some due to practicality.

In our families its sons who bring a wife in our home..yes some places daughters also bring gharjamais, but thats only exceptions..as a rule girls only move to their inlaws. and even in case they are going to live in a separate city, but after marriage they first come home to their inlaws only..so the first step towards change would be.
The boys and girls should arrange their marriage on their own and celebrate it at a neutral place with their own earnings.
After marriage they should shift to their own home..they should arrange for that.
That way neither girls parents need to spend, nor boys parents need to give lot of jwellery and clothes.
Unless the young people decide to be totally financially independent they cant bring a change.

Second thing ..in many families parents spend all their future money on their sons in the hope that once they get settled they will look after them..as is our social structure..But when their DIL doesnt want them they have nowhere to go..After a few years parents will become wise when it becomes a rule, but today they are helpless..so for all the girls who think they cant take the responsibility of inlaws need to state it at the time of choosing the groom.

Till such time that a totally fair system evolves..its the duty of both ..sons and daughters to look after their parents in need..living together is not necessary, they may arrange a separate place for them but helping them with whatever they need financially or physically is their moral responsibility..Its true for both set of parents.

Milking the Rivers - the art of High profile Advocacy*

*I got all this info in email from my friend..found it worth sharing...

The Rivers have become the perennial source of revenue for the team of few politically connected lawyers. ?? Forget about serving their State free of cost, the team has extorted huge sums of public money in the name of appearances, conferences, clearkage, travelling in first class, meetings in five star hotels.

Just take the Mahadayi dispute. We have the legal team of many lawyers and tens of water experts. Mr. Fali Nariman charges Rs.4,50,000/- (Rs four lakhs fifty thousand) per appearance and Rs.1,00,000/- (Rs. One lakh) per hour !! He has already had 50 hours of conferences just for the application to be filed in Mahadayi for interim measures!. There were five hearings. The total fee paid to Mr. Nariman just for the application was Rs. 70,20,000/- (Rs Seventy lakhs twenty thousand).
The total fee paid to lawyers for the application we lost is Rs. 5,00,000,00/- (Rs. Five crores)

The lawyers who represented are sriyuts

1. Fali Nariman
2. Mohan Katarki
3. Kashi Vishveshwar,
4. Zirali,
5. S.S. Javali,
6. Divan
7. Advocate General
8. Anitha Shenoy
9. Nishant Patil.

The fee paid in the water disputes is as follows.

1. S.Vijay Shankar Rs. 6,10,000/- (rs six lakhs ten thousand)
2. Ravivarma Kumar Rs. 30,75,000/- (rs thirty lakhs seventy five thousand)
3. Present AG Rs. 10,000,00/- (rs ten lakhs)
4. Fali S Nariman Rs. 2,60,30,000/- (rs two crores sixty lakhs thirty thousand)
5. S.S.Jawali Rs.1,14,52,900/- (rs one crore fourteen lakhs fifty two thousand nine hundred)
6. Mohan Katarki Rs. 2,41,58,828/- (rs two crores forty one lakhs, fifty eight thousand eight twenty eight)
7. Brijesh Kalappa Rs. 67,99,534/- (rs sixty seven lakhs ninety nine thousand five thirty four
8. S.C. Sharma Rs. 41,05,000/- (rs forty one lakhs five thousand)
9. Anitha Shenoy Rs.1,04,37,085/- (rs one crore forty three lakhs thirty seven thousand eighty five)
10. Nishant Patil Rs. 82,75,437/- (rs eighty two lakhs seventy five thousand four thirty seven)
11. M.B.Zirali Rs. 80,49,499/- (rs eighty lakhs forty nine thousand four ninety nine
12. Kashi Vieshwar Rs. 27,47,426/- (rs twenty seven lakhs forty seven thousand four twenty six)
13. Clerkage Rs. 26,03,000/- (rs twenty six lakhs three thousand)

The clerkage fee was paid to Mr. Nariman. Which clerk has he paid.? All clerkage fee is pocketed by the senior lawyers.

S.C. Sharma is junior of Mr. Nariman and he pocketed more than Rs. forty .

Nishant Patil? He is the son of Justice N.K. Patil of Karnataka High Court. He was enrolled only on 26 June 2009 and was included in the Mahadayi legal team in 2011 within just two years of his enrolment. He has already pocketed more than rupees eighty lakhs ! There are several lawyers in Delhi and Karnataka who are more meritorious and experienced than him. But the considerations are altogether different.

Please see the names. Except one or two, rest of them are close to the politicians and political cronies. One congress crony has made the billing of more than 67 lakhs.
>
Most of the lawyers on the team (with greatest respect including Nariman) have become spent force and huge liabilities. Mr. S.S.Jawali is on the Cauvery panel also for last 45 years !
>
One Advocate General who wanted to argue as “Kannadiga” and claim to be Samaritan pocketed rupees thirty lakhs.
>
While the Tamilnad lawyers have offered pro bono services for the legal work, the scenario here is converse. The entire legal team barring one or two, have wasted public money. They travel in first class, they use Govt cars, they have meetings in five star hotels
>
The total legal expenditure for water and border disputes is about 15O crores. !
>
The conviction is lacking. The dedication to serve their State free of cost or with nominal fee is completely missing. The rivers are being used to make ugly fortune.
>
Really sad state of affairs.

Pakistani Actors

Now a days a hot debate is going on whether Pakistani Actors should be allowed to stay and work or not.
People in favour of them say that actors are artists and they have no boundary.
But i want to ask why..actors dont need food, or social services or place to live, dont they have mind to think..why? Are they working here for the love of art, without taking any money?And answer to everything is a big NO. These people earn money here, they dont even respect the place which keeps them gives them work.

Some say they come here on visa given by govt, but as was the news on TV they all come and work on tourist visa.

I dont understand the logic behind defending them except that we as Indian have no more ethics just a materialistic mind, we will just look for money ,nothing else.

If our army also start thinking that why they should fight and put their life in danger, as they have nothing personal against Pakistani soldiers, then what will happen?

We may criticize anything and everything that's the beauty of democracy but when its about our national pride and security, we should give our whole hearted support to the govt. and army..no two thought about it..no ifs and buts.

People like some bollywood stars and producers need to be taught a lesson that patriotism is not  just talking about it and showing thru the reels only..it is required in real life also.

Today we need to show that when the time comes we can sacrifice anything.

No means No

I heard so much about Pink that it became necessary for me to watch it and watch I did;)..I have never heard so much of clapping by youngsters in the hall ever .
One thing this movie wants to establish is that NO means NO..Even if a women is a prostitute, if she is not interested in physical relationship with some one ,then forcing her is crime.and thats the way it should be everywhere.I agree and the way the young men of a influential family behave is totally abominable...why the parents have all the rules for girls only, why they dont teach boys to behave?
This is the biggest problem in our society and for this mothers are also responsible.And  the way our system is corrupt, where police writes the FIR only for influential people and victimises normal citizen,it also shows that we are loosing character due to the greed of money,and respect for moneyed.
But somehwere the life style of three protagonist also rankles me,living alone is not a crime but living recklessly is.In a country where law and order is not very good, and people are not accustomed to the girls wearing short dress, drinking , spouting obscene jokes with unknown boys, doing all this and not expecting trouble..either they are too naive or mindless.These three girls dont know those boys except one, they were friends of a friend, still they sit together , drink together and when these unknown boys invite them to a resort, they go there for dinner..what were they thinking?
We havent got an ideal society where gender doesnt matter, it matters here...And till our society becomes a real progressive one where girls will be safe everywhere, onus lies on the girls to take care of their safety..why be reckless and put yourself to danger.
In the competition to be equal to boys, girls are even copying their bad habits too.

As a movie is a visual medium, I would have liked to see some beauty also..but looks like they economised on everything...why everything so.unapealing. Amitabh bacchan looks so old.more than he really is,As his wife, if there was any good actress like Shefali chaya even...No hero,villains even look like villain or extras.

Akira

i saw Akira..because this was the only one availabe in the timings suitable to us.This is about a girl who sees some boys throwing acid on a girl for rejecting them, and wants to learn self defence, Her father(excellent cameo by Atul Kulkarni) encourages her, so when every girl wants to go to dance classes she goes to self defense and  becomes an expert and when she sees those boys again harrassing some girls she gives them a good fight, in this a boy wants throw acid on her, but she stops and it falls on his face and she is sent to a juvenile home..this is the first excuse, I dont know that in such a situation which court will find her guilty.
Her three years are wasted, so when she comes out she goes in her shell and try to study only , when they shift to Bombay with her brother,she is bullied and due to mistaken presumptions, a corrupt officer wants to kill her and puts her in mental hospital, where a mental patient helps her in getting out and otherwise,I dont know why that transgender was in mental hospital, he was quite able and good.
Then there is a heavily pregnant Inspector Rabia who is investigating the murder,I dont understand the logic to show her so pregnant..I mean she can walk or sit properly but she is sent to action..if they had given her a desk job, would have been more feasible..a very fine actress Konkona totally wasted here.
So now its left to heroine to do everything which she does..First half is ok but in the second half everything goes haywire. Anurag kashyap as the corrupt police officer is good.Only
if they had developed other characters also..
Amit sadh needed some more space.
Konkona needed a better character.
Sonakshi Sinha has done whatever she could in her half baked character.

BACHELOR WOES

Recently I was in Hyderabad for renting out my flat. and i cameto know that society association has decided not to allow landlords to let houses to bachelors, I find this very strange.I asked them that tomorrow your son goes somewhere for job or education and people denied him flats , how will you feel?
But they were adamant and when I talked to my nephew , he gave me enough to think about, how bachelors suffer..

1. For them its very difficult to find a suitable dwelling due to people'e aversion to bachelors and whatever they find they end up paying more than the usual rent, though they may not be getting a high salary.
2. Most of the people in surroundings, still consider them child and dont give them respect due as a tenant.
3. They are admonished for everything they do..like even if they are celebrating bdays, they are asked to stop music and stop disturbing people, whereas other residents may have pooja or bhajan or marriage ,whatever and may disturb them for whole night or day.

Isnt it time we introspected our attitude...we shouldnt be prejudiced for anything.Yes while giving them on rent, we can have conditions about cleaning or any damage or coming and going, but not giving them is unfair. Its a kind of racism only.

OLYMPIC WINNERS

Now a days whenever i open the newspaper i see someone or other felicitating the Olympic winners..Isnt it that we Indians always do over the top things, we criticize for nothing, and once someone achieves something we go out of the way to praise. I am not saying that they dont deserve it, they deserve it truly  BUT.arent we going overboard with the bounties?
Instead now is the time to retrospect...
what is wrong in our system?
somebody should look  into the complaints of sports persons during the games
And then instead of giving everything to these few why not bring  a system where all the aspiring players get support.
If all the corporates sponsor even one player of any game, we can have thousands of good sports people and players dont have to suffer for basic things.

Attire

This post is spurred by Shilpa's comment on my last post:). Actually i always wonder that when people go abroad they always change their way of dressing. Those who start living there, it may be out of necessity also, but for a short trip I dont understand the reason. Either they are not happy wearing what they wear here or..dont know what. For me i am the same person wherever i go. I wear what I like and find comfort in..So many times people suggest me to make new clothes when I am going out, but I  dont. Though i wear cotton only, still i wear the same. When i wear sarees there at festivals and special occasions, I get so many ooh and aahs and wows..even from my generation, because most of them go either for salwar kameez or jeans and top.

Attire for me is completely a comfort equation...whatever I feel good in, I wear,cant wear anything for the sake of fashion only. Yes one thing I take care that my choices should never embarrass my family:)..For me.yes clothes make a person, but what is inside thats more important

Few Pics

San marco..the central place in Venice.In most of the European cities, there will be a central place called Piazza where there would be many restaurants, shops and some other entertainment like music etc.

This is the view we get while travelling by ferry.

Memories

Daily I feel like writing something and then just leave it..may be i need to get back the flow once again. Been out of town also very frequently. Recently i went to Venice and it was such a nostalgic trip, I went there in 79, when my son was 3 year old , and now my son took me there and his son is five yr old now:).
But Venice has changed or may be i have, i didnt find the romance in the air as i did earlier.now its just a crowded place. and the same way merchandise is also changed, earlier venice was about gandolas in all variety of materials and accompaniements  and statues,leather goods and crystal..today they have the same things which other Italian cities have.
We went to see Verona.city of Romeo Juliet and i was surprised to see the huge crowd wanting to take pictures near Casa juliette and see the place..so much fascination for doomed lovers,but does anyone tries to love like that today..its about self only.
In Italy i found people driving so carelessly and without following the rules..reminded me of my own country:)

some baby products

Recently I came to know about some baby products manufactured by Curatio healthcare co.They are manufactured after lot of research and they specialise in dermatology.You may check their website also..here. Since my children were coming, so I waited for them to try these products.

One of them is  B4 NAPPI WIPES..These are quite good, almost as good as we get abroad,.soft,smells good and is 99/ for 30 wipes..

Second one we tried was nappy cream..This one is very good, though its meant for babies only at every diaper change, personally I think anyone can use it for rashes, very effective.

Third one is Shampoo..SPOO..its tear free,Clinically its good,good for baby,s scalp and no fragrance.
Its 155/ for 75 ml

Then there is one spray..Melipox..anti itch spray..about it, i was very happy because my children get lot of itching here, due to humidity, mosquito bites and heat.So I tried it, it was mildly effective..