Retirement

Now a days whenever we are in a group, discussion veers towards retirement and where and how we are going to settle down. Since my group comprises of people in 40,s..there are lot of dreams and aspirations about retirement. But with that many are seeing with their parents what is the ground condition.
Many people think of settling in their home town, whereas their whole life they have been at other places but such is the lure of home town. But I will say think about it, nostalgia is good but practicality is different..may be there is nobody left whom you can bond with, because many people of your age may have to shift near their children and places have changed. Like i cant live in my home town any more, I like Chennai way better than any other place.
Some people want to be near their siblings and relatives...about that what can be said, except that by the time we retire, relationships dynamics have changed a lot,fondness may be still there,but not much closeness, and sometimes the end comes early and most of the people are more into their children.
Then its about independent house or apartment..everything has its own pros and cons..with independent house, one needs a watchman, gardener and maid for 24 hours, if one can afford all that, its easy to maintain, otherwise its better to have an apartment,because at least now you wouldnt be restricted in your retirement period. one can go and plan trips.

My personal dream is to live frugally  in a small village in a small house with lots of greenery outside..just with nature and God.or somewhere in community living.

Marriage

I was always of the opinion that we are better off because we dont have divorces so much.because i feel that divorce always makes a very Strong effect on children, but thats another topic,another time.In this week i came upon a few couple and some of them in their 50,s and realized that they are living a facade, they are so unhappy and full of aggression, whereas outside nobody can realize that even.So I cant say now that unhappy marriage is better than divorce, but.yes I have a few suggestions to resolve that conflict,its only my experience which I am sharing, no expertise,,

For our happiness we have to take charge ourselves, it shouldnt depend on others behaviour or doing be it spouse, children, relative or friends.we should do what makes up happy, of course without hurting anyone.

We should have lot of communication, unless we tell our spouse what we dont like, how the situation will change.

we should do our own thing some of the time, like I love watching movies but my husband doesnt, so i go with my friends, and if no friends, I may go alone also. Same way if one person doesnt like travelling or has any other reason may be health or anything, and second one wants to see places, then occasionally make a programe on your own.

We can not be conjoined twins, we are two individuals, coming from different back grounds and different personalities and if its an arranged marriage, then may be we dont have a single common interest, so we need to find a common ground with lots of communication.

Many spouses never realize that other one doesnt like their too much emotional contact with their siblings, it doesnt mean that we stop loving our siblings, but we should honour our spouse feelings also, and he/she should always come first. we can love our siblings and do everything but without involving our spouse all the time.

I would say that..

Life is not about pleasing everyone,
but hurting no one.

FRIENDS

Today i saw a quote and liked it..it was.like intelligent people have few friends because they are selective something like that..and as soon as I posted it in my group, discussion started. Those who have lot of friends, felt that it was a blow to their intellectual status and it left me wondering, how and why we make friends, and why some people have lots and some only few.

Actually making or not making friends, it all depends on liking and nature and we have all sort of people in this world.

There are some who like like to be surrounded by people, so they make lot of friends, and obviously they are not very selective about them. Because its very difficult to find lot many people who are like minded, you get only few.And in this scenario, not many people are genuine friends.

And there some people who like to be surround by one or two but like minded people,who believe in same things and have similar tastes, though sometimes opposites also attract.

For me personally I am a loner, prefer my own company over just any other person.I cant be friendly with just anyone and everyone. I help everywhere, whenever required, but I am friendly to a very few.and this has been the scenario from my childhood. I like my books more than artificial people , because i find many people who have no ethics and honesty in relationships, whereas for me these things are more important than affection even. And fake relationships are more painful than being on your own, because every second day you are hurt with their attitude. Today its a material world, people side where they gain, they dont have any permanent likings.

That way i can say that I like wise enemies more than foolish friends or even relatives.

What do you think?