Parents

There are three types of parents in this world.

1. This type was more prevalent in earlier generations. Here the most emphasis is on discipline and hierarchy. Parents decide everything about the children from the day they are born, from their name to their hobbies(if at all they are required), their carrier choices( sometimes the choice is their own longing for a carrier which they could not do for any reason and now they want their offspring's to fulfil that desire) to the selection of their life partner and after that their life style. Parent's word is the god's command, and if someone dares to air his opinion even,he/she is persona nongrata, in other words ungrateful child. For them individuality,personal identity are all alien terms.

consequences---- here the children, though they are intelligent but they grow into mostly introverts, with their perceptions quite mixed without any clarity of thoughts, they are principled outwardly as they are brought up with an iron hand, but susceptible to vices,live a life with a medium rate of success and satisfaction, never explore their full potential,always need security in life and they wouldnt make many people happy with their passive and melancholy demeanour.

2----Second type parents are those who bring up their children with a little democracy. Here children are taught the value of money, ethics and discipline from the beginning by the parents by way of their own behaviour and children are given choices with the knowledge of pros and cons of every situation.When they are young they must listen to the parents but be told the reasoning of everything, as they grow, they are given the choices and right to selection, but they must be prepared to face the consequences of their decisions. In the childhood parents are strict regarding their studies, health and character,but lenient where it involves their hobbies and free time.They give them the roots of unstinted support and freedom to their wings to fly higher and higher.
--These are the ideal parents( do they exist? ), and their progeny is well grounded,principled,respecting and caring for their parents and in general quite successful in their personal and professional lives. They will never turn to any vices whatever the temptation as their values will always save them, they are good human beings and a blessing to everyone.

3---The third type of parents are total freedom freaks, they also love their children a lot and give them full freedom from the time they are born, without any firm guidance.They fulfil the needs of the children, for the rest they believe in everybody living his/her own life.neither they are themselves disciplined, nor they teach it to their children, each to his own.They forget that freedom with itself brings a lot of responsibilities without which we cant have a cohesive society
Consequences---here a lot depends on the children, they may be good or bad, successful or unsuccessful, but they are bohemian in their lifestyle,non conforming to the traditions or conforming when it suits them,in disciplined life brings them lot of dissatisfaction in regard to their health and relationships.Their lifestyle cant bring happiness to others also.
I believe, as Zibran has said---children come from you but they are not your property, give them life,not ur thoughts
and man is the arch in the hand of god ( the archer ) , and children are the arrows, the more the arch bends, the faster and far away the arrow goes.

There is one more type..today..most of the parents want to give their children more and more material things, they see the price tag more than quality..its always keeping up with the Joneses, so little ones are introduced to brands and wants, they dont know the value of money or people....They want their children to go to expensive schools, not because they want better education, but because it has better facilities...If child needs one thing, they give ten..somewhere such parents are fulfilling their own unfulfilled desires of coveting things....their children are pampered lot who want everything at their tips.

Now such children will not have a high self esteem when they grow up, because its tied with things..material possessions only make them feel successful...

The ideal situation is to ---teach the children values in their childhood and make them follow them with a discipline, and then give them freedom with a guidance when they grow-up, nurture their individuality and then sit back and enjoy -watching them fly-soaring heights.But for all this parents need to discipline themselves first..which is next to impossible today.

THE GOD IS A GAMER..RAVI SUBRAMANIYAM

This writer is writing sequels in a real sense where the characters are same and story begins where the last one ended.The story is about Bitcoins, ATM heists, bank frauds, gaming and then people who are not what they seem to be.Money laundering of politicians, ambitions of bank officials, politicians colorful life and its consequences, even murder, everything is woven beautifully in the story. Thanks to this novel I came to know a little bit about bit coins also.
Quite an interesting book...the only thing I didnt like was that though most of the people are in gray area , but some get their due, whereas others enjoy life.it may be true in real life, but here it becomes pessimistic.And though its writer's prerogative to build his characters, I would still say they write for the readers, because nobody writes for self only...so I hope in his next I find justice.

Now reading Mountain of light by..Indu Sunderesan.

NH 10

This movie is getting lot of appreciation and being called produced byAnushka, though in the credits there were four more producers.

The story is about a young couple Meera and Arjun who party hard, drink and smoke and both are working. Once Meera is on the road alone in her SUV and some ruffians  stalk her , tease her , break the window glass and all, she escapes somehow but when they go to file a complaint police officer is not very cooperative, instead asks Arjun why he lets her go alone at night.Why dont they get a weapon?

Then on Meera's Bday Arjun books a resort and they start their journey.On the way they stop on a dhaba to eat something, there a girl asks Meera to help her, her brother is going to kill her, Meera brushes her off, but then later both them see that 6 people are beating a young couple,when Arjun tries to ask them why, they slap him  also and forcibly  put the couple in vehicle and drive away.Now Arjun goes on a ego trip and wants to teach them a lesson , though Meera insists him to leave but he doesnt listen and follows them to the jungle and there watches them brutally killing the couple, they are horrified and now its chase between them and this pair..Police also supports the criminals who are killing their own sister because she wanted to marry a person of same gotra.When Arjun is wounded, meera goes to get help to the village sarpanch(Deepti Naval) and there she comes to know that she only ordered the murder..When Arjun dies of his wounds..Meera goes berserk, goes back to the village and kills all of them..

One thing is very clear that honor killing is not a gender issue..as the boy is also killed...and women also kill..they are equally brutal,..sarpanch, though a woman, still orders the killing of her daughter and her husband, and maltreat her daughter.in law and giver her no respect as a human being.

The movie is issue based but lacks the basic requirement of the movie.. entertainment..its total violence, gore and cruelty..When i want to come out of the hall I want to feel pleasant, but you come out feeling very sad and frustrated.Its all reality but still...

Secondly whenever a problem is tackled, I think they should show some solution too..it may not be very credible or easily possible..but the light should be there....

Hero.Neil Bhopalan is a dishy dude.a handsome version of Randeep hooda, I liked him..Anushka Sharma is also good, rest of the cast also very suitable...

Read somewhere that its inspired (copied) from  Eden Lake

Munich

I am back home and full of lethargy.today i just wanted to start writing and when I couldnt sort out my though then thought of writing a few lines about Munich, as this is one one new place I saw in this trip.

Its a beautiful city and i found it very cheap coming from the Zurich:). Its a three and half hour drive from Zurich. So we stayed at Hilton..very near to the centre of Munich Marianne Platz. Most of the European countries have a centre where everything converges..shops and restaurants and some monuments also..We found so many Indian restaurants and very friendly to the pocket, though I feel some were run by Pakistanis, and can you imagine, they sell arhar daal as daal makhaani and its selling like hot cakes. They were always full of everyone but Indians.
In front of the hotel only one can find all cuisines..thai, mexican,italian, Indian all.

Then next day we planned to go to BMW Museums and Sea aquarium. Actually all the beautiful parks and open spaces were covered with snow, we could see only indoors.Sea aquarium was a delight to see and outside there was a lake and beautiful scenery with so many flamingos.Saw the museum, but i am not a technical person:)

For shopping its a paradise, everything was good and affordable.

Its a very big city with lot of historical buildings and I loved having the drive thru the city and then in the evening it was so beautiful to walk around the designer shops and restaurants.

Redmond

How was you New Year?.. We took some pizzas, cake, juice ,eggs and milk etc to one shelter here, and I was surprised to see the conditions..it was as good as hotel..very neat and clean and furnished well, since my children go there regularly, the person there showed me the place very nicely, I felt so happy and wished we had something like that in India too..there are so many temples and churches with enough resources...

In Redmond there are so many Indian restaurants and shops that one can get anything and everything..even better than Chennai:)..and many more home food type joints are opening and very reasonably priced..so much so that nobody needs to do cooking for saving ..only they need to cook if they want to...and thats the way it should be...

We went to see lighting at Belleveue botanical garden..it was outstanding..all the lighting was done with volunteer work, they had made beautiful water falls, animals and flower beds , stars all with lights.it was illuminating and ticket was only paltry 5 $/ per person...it was so colorful and beautiful..

BRITISH AIRWAYS

I am in Seattle for last one week. I was feeling so much of jet lag that didnt feel like doing anything.
When I was coming here I had one hour and twenty minutes time at London to connecting flight and I was flying BA and there they were making so long queues that it was impossible to reach. I asked many attendants that they may allow me to come forward in the queue, as I have a connecting flight, but they were totally indifferent to my plight..so much so that I almost missed my flight, when I reached at the boarding gate..running..huffing puffing, they said its closed, then I requested, shouted ..did everything and got in..but it was a bad experience..it was simply bad management of crowds and BA has economised too much on in flight food also..so I wouldnt recommend them at all...If the same thing had happened in India, everyone would have blasted them and termed incompetent and what not.

More I live outside, more I value my country, my people.

Here one day my daughter made some roasted potatoes and some more dish and we went to give it in a shelter for women affected by domestic violence..its in downtown Seattle..and they try to keep the address a secret for fear of husbands whose wives take shelter there..it was pathetic to see such conditions in a developed country.

 we went to see Peekay in a mainstream cinema hall and got the tickets first day and hall was empty..almost..except for 20.30 people.I was surprised.But the movie is excellent,dialogues, direction and Amir Khan..they have made it so well.

We had a buffet lunch in Taj Palace..and food was excellent in just 10 dollars per person..we dont get the same quality even in India for this amount.

more later:)

WISHING YOU ALL A VERY HAPPY AND PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR!

TAG

somebody gave  this tag long back, I am putting it now:)

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink.....never been to a Bar, once we went to a restaurant in nagpur and there many have Bars..but the receptionist ..as soon as he saw me..said..mam it is not for family:), may be i look like that:)


02. Swam with dolphins ...dont know swimming:(

03. Climbed a mountain ....not as a climber, but going to vaishno devi is also a climbing of a type i think:)

04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive------never

05. Been inside the Great Pyramid ...:(

06. Held a tarantula -....ugh

07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone -

08. Said “I love you” and meant it whatever i say..I always mean it, whether sorry or love

09. Hugged a tree - absolutely!

10. Bungee jumped - No, I am a Darpok:)

11. Visited Paris - yeah:)

12. Watched a lightning storm at sea---No

13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise Seen the sunrise at many places..like tiger hill darjeeling,kanyakumari etc

14. Seen the Northern Lights - what is that?

15. Gone to a huge sports game - not a sports person at all:(

16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa - yessss:), even when we went to the Eiffel tower..we went to the top which is not open to visitors now ..a days:)

!17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables...Yes, I had a beautiful kitchen garden in Kharagpur, i grew Okra, tomato, brinjal etc.

18. Touched an iceberg No:(

:P19. Slept under the stars - In our childhood in summer, we used to sleep on the terrace under the stars:)

20. Changed a baby’s diaper -- all the time:)

21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon ....No

22. Watched a meteor shower..No

23. Gotten drunk on champagne - No

24. Given more than you can afford to charity - I never feel that one can ever give more...we give only what we have

. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope ---yes

26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment ..many times,when I was in college ,in class,and many other times also:)

27. Had a food fight - never, my whole family is famous for giving, if any of my loved ones like anything..I would give my share evn and never even say that, would say..I dont like it, thats the way we are ...all my siblings and me.

28. Bet on a winning horse...never been to a race course:(

29. Asked out a stranger - Not that way, though love talking to strangers:)

30. Had a snowball fight when i first saw the snow, i was a grown up:(

31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can - cant scream at all, cant even shout:)

32. Held a lamb ----scared of touching any animal:(

33. Seen a total eclipse...thinks so.

34. Ridden a roller coaster - yes

35. Hit a home run...

36. Danced like a fool and didn’t care who was looking... No, always too worried about onlookers:)

37. Adopted an accent for an entire day ..never needed to

38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment - I am always happy

39. Had two hard drives for your computer---never

40. Visited all 50 states .....no

!41. Taken care of someone who was drunk - yes:), but didnt doo anything, just asked him to go to sleep pronto:)

42. Had amazing friends - still have.

43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country - No

44. Watched whales ----yes in Shamu show in Seaworld:)

45. Stolen a sign..... could never steel anything:

P46. Backpacked in Europe - seen the Europe, but not backpacking.

47. Taken a road-trip - Of course Many!!

48. Gone rock climbing...No

49. Taken a midnight walk on the beach - No

50. Gone sky diving ..no

51. Visited Ireland---No

52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love - Yeh love kya hota ha:)

53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them - .No

54. Visited Japan...No

55. Milked a cow..No

56. Alphabetized your CDs - I always like evrything organised properly.

57. Pretended to be a superhero - No, but for all children their mom is super:)

58. Sung karaoke - No,would like to

59. Lounged around in bed all day - sometimes:)

60. Played touch football..no

61. Gone scuba diving - NO

62. Kissed in the rain -

63. Played in the mud - in my childhood and now with my grandson:)

 64. Played in the rain - loved it!

65. Gone to a drive-in theatre -no, seeing the movie like that doesnt apeal me..

 66. Visited the Great Wall of China..no

67. Started a business..yes and was very succesful too

68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken- what is that:)

69. Toured ancient sites - Yes in Rome..

70. Taken a martial arts class..no

71. Played D&amp

72. Gotten married -haha..yes yes..

73. Been in a movie - no

 74. Crashed a party -too prim and propah for that

75. Gotten divorced..divorce is not in my dictionery

76. Gone without food for 5 days - Not exactly..though we keep fast during Navratri for 8 days..

77. Made cookies from scratch - yes many times

78. Won first prize in a costume contest - not costume, but I won a prize for best dressed woman once..

79. Ridden a gondola in Venice...yes

80. Gotten a tattoo - No..scared but like them..

81. Rafted the Snake River..no

82. Been on a television news program as an “expert” - NO

 83. Gotten flowers for no reason - sometimes..MY dear hubby used to bring it..

84. Performed on stage - yes in school days then,in social clubs

85. Been to Las Vegas..yes and enjoyed it very much.

86. Recorded music - No

87. Eaten Shark..ugh!

88. Kissed on the first date - what is date:)

89. Gone to Thailand..No

90. Bought a house..yes

91. Been in a combat zone..No

92. Buried one/both of your parents..Yes

93. Been on a cruise ship - been on a ship..

!94. Spoken more than one language fluently - English,Hindi

95. Performed in Rocky Horror ...What is that?

96. Raised children..yes two beautiful ones:)

97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour..Never

98. Passed out cold...no

99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country - idont know cycling.

100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over - shifted countries to start afresh...I have changed many cities..

101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge..No

102. Sang loudly in the car - Never

 103. Had plastic surgery..would never do

104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived -no

105. Wrote articles for a large publication - No..just got prizes for some letters.

106. Lost over 100 pounds - cant loose a single pound:(

107. Held someone while they were having a flashback..no

108. Piloted an airplane..no

109. Touched a stingray -..no

110. Broken someone’s heart -unknowingly i dont know, but knowing i would nevr do..

111. Helped an animal give birth..no

112. Won money on a TV game show..no

113. Broken a bone - ..Never

114. Gone on an African photo safari..Nobut on my bucket list.

115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears - nose! but not anymore..

116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol..no

117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild..I dont like mushrooms.

118. Ridden a horse - yes in Nainital:)

119. Had major surgery - yes

120. Had a snake as a pet....I am very scared of them.

121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon....NO..just saw it from the top..

122. Slept for 30 hours in a 48 hour period - never

123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. States - yes..

124. Visited all 7 continents..no

125. Taken a canoe trip..cant ,scared of water.

126. Eaten kangaroo meat..I am a pure vegetarian.

127. Eaten sushi - hate it

128. Had your picture in the newspaper -.no

129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about -always try to..about environment

130. Gone back to school..no

131. Parasailed..no

132. Touched a cockroach - yes in bio labs I dissected them.

133. Eaten fried green tomatoes -no

134. Read The Iliad and The Odyssey..no

135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school and read -Enid Blyton

136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating..no

137. Skipped all your school reunions - ...I could nevr go back to any of my earlier school once I left..

138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language..yes in France.

139. Been elected to public office - no

140. Written your own computer language- no

141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream -

142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care - no

 143. Built your own PC from parts..no

144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you -

145. Had a booth at a street fair - yes many times

146. Dyed your hair - have to :(

Caused a car accident - once..