Are the lenders at fault?

Every day a read some news with biased reporting or hear people who are so biased about people, views, it irritates me no end..like there was a news today about a couple who took 20 lakhs loan for IVF, unfortunately the husband died and when wife couldnt pay the loan she committed suicide,leaving the child an orphan, and they wrote..lenders were hounding her..Here they make it sound as if its a crime to ask back the money, but i want to ask why people take loan beyond their resources.And we must never sympathise with the people who dont pay their loan.The days of Shylock are gone, today when someone takes a loan, all facts should be considered..why he is taking loan, and how are they going to repay it..what is their contingency plan?
Here i find the couple at fault for many things..

First they should havent taken a loan so big, that they couldnt pay..

Secondly if only husband was working, they should have thought of something like this..

And if in spite of that , some emergency happens like it did, woman should have struggled, leaving her child orphan is not the way..

And whatever ,we cant always blame  circumstances or lenders or somebody else..its time we take responsibility for our actions.

DIL DHADAKNE DO

I saw Dil Dhadakne DO..this week. Its the story of Mehra family..a wealthy family where marriages are made as business transactions and not for love.They want son to take interest in family business, though he is least interested and good whereas daughter who shows her mantle as a good business woman, she is not given preference, because according to them daughters are supposed to be married off and done.Happiness here means ...shopping,husband not  raising a hand on wife and such things not love in spouses.what love has to do with marriage and divorce is a bad word even if there is no love and respect between spouse, even if wife is unhappy and husband is cheating.All these emotions are shown thru  a wealthy family where they take their friends on a cruise for celebrating 30 yrs of marriage...a marriage which is so fake..

I just loved Ranvir in this movie..he is so lovable and done the excellent job in his role of kabir..so cute, innocent looking and then so protective towards his sister.
Anil Kapoor , Farhan Akhtar,Priyanka chopra, Shefaali shah, Riddhima sud , parmeet Sethi and all the assembled cast is just so perfect and done well.
They didnt need Anushka to show as Ranvir.s love interest, she was not required there, and movie gets slow and boring with her track...

If you take out Ranvir Anushka's love story part, movie is very interesting and worth a watch.

Tenant tantrums..

Last 8 days i was in Hyderabad looking for a tenant.Normally people think that landlords are the privileged lot, but I differ here, ..In my opinions landlords put their hard money in apt, and then run around for pittance, and live in stress.

When people see the house they go like this..first the person who is going to live see it..if he likes then he will show his wife, then his parents will see and approve and then inlaws also want to check..helloooo.... you are not looking for a prospective bride or groom..

Sometimes men say.I like the house but my wife is very finicky, I will send her the pics then let you know..

Other one says..everything is fine..please finalise it tomorrow...and then tomorrow, he wants his brother to see and approve..

They want to check vastu..facing sides, then location, then construction, amenities..what not..it looks like that they want to fulfill all their wishes with rented house only..

Then there are good days and bad days to have negotiations..

One person almost finalises everything then next days asks me..if my wife doesnt get transferred here then I will go back in two months so...why didnt he tell me this before finalising?

There was this old man who came to see for his son, then brought his son, then his daughter inlaw and he kept apprising me how highly placed are his daughter.inlaws relatives.. and he will be a good tenant then even his Son.s FIL comes and meet me and asks hundred questions..when they are satisfied they take it, and I come back to Chennai..Lo..within 20 days I get a call from his wife that his MIL doesnt want to live in that upper storey and they have to vacate it...and his husband is all non cooperative to me and doesnt want to pay the one month notice period even..good tenant?

continued in the next post....

40 YEARS OF MARRIAGE

Last week I competed 40 years of my marriage and when I introspected I realised that i have come a long way in my life. When i got married i was a very naive girl of 18 , not very worldly wise, from a small town, so had no exposure to anything except academics.I learned a lot on the way...Today i want to share my observations , experiences and inferences...

The best virtue in life is to be grateful and specially for the people who love you. Because we are free to love whosoever we want but getting love in return is not guaranteed, if we get it its a blessing of god,so we should never take such people for granted..rather treasure them.

We must never forget those who did something for us...either we shouldnt take help, hospitality or anything from anybody(which may not be possible)..but if we accept that ,we should be grateful for life..help in need can never be repaid.

In our culture , to be happy in life, its better for the girls to have alignment more with inlaws...it doesnt mean we cant  look after our parents and family..NO we should be there in their hour of need,physically and financially both ..but for all other day to day purposes, we should be on one side whole heartedly, otherwise we become like a coalition government where nothing works, nobody is happy.Equality doesnt  work this way.

Before marrying one should think hundred times about everything..candidates should talk about everything.expectations from marriage, duties and responsibilities,.finance handling , housekeeping, children upbringing and parents everything, but after marriage dont go back on your promises....

Today with my children settled I am in a happy space..and grateful to god for my health,finance and a good husband:)....But I have worked hard for all this..I have never shirked from my duties whether it was for my siblings or my children or my inlaws..,,My MIL still is with me only and  HAPPILY...I never got the return from the people whom i cared for ,but instead God gave me so many things that I have no complaints..It makes me believe in karma very strongly.

DEVOTION OF SUSPECT X... Keigo Higashino

DEVOTION OF SUSPECT X... KEIGO HIGASHINO
This is a crime thriller, but one of its own kind.A genius mathematician  sees a sales woman at a restaurant and starts liking her..they are neighbours too.That woman is harassed by her ex husband and at one such time he is killed by her daughter. After that how that neighbour helps her makes the story. The conversations between this mathematician and his Physics friend are very thought provoking..so many insights into the maths and once he tells a student why math should be studied..
All in all very very good book worth a read..


MANY CONDITIONS OF LOVE..FARHAD JAMA
Very interesting book..its about a middle class Muslim family settled in Vizag.Father is running a matrimonial agency and son is an idealistic civil engineer.In between there are many side stories about father,s employee Aruna, and many agencies customers etc.Its so enjoyable to read about day to day normal life and people.s travails...About BT cotton seed, farmers plights, widows condition in society ..like that...I liked it.


The Power..Rhonda Byrne
I read her Secret and liked it so got this one. Initially its good to read and i agree to this point also that power lies in our thoughts and feelings and they bring to us whatever we imagine. But it seems to me that writer goes on and on repeating the same thing and sometimes without any logic.So it becomes boring..

Do the clothes make a man?

As Vivekananda said that  in western culture may be clothes make a man but in our culture character makes a man..And how i agree to this....

Today whenever i see the people starting kid's fashion zone or designer clothes or something like that I really feel sad that they are going for something so artificial and giving the children wrong direction

So many people, even my hubby says.if we can afford why not?..so doest everything comes down  to affordability/..Not according to me..for children, its about giving them a right perspective in life, emphasis on the right things and secondly there is a time for everything.Once they become adult they may decide in which direction they want to go, but in their childhood it becomes important to teach  them sensitivity to the environment and society,and value of good morals Take care of their academics and sports and hobbies.

I dont mean to say that we dont need good clothes or when parents themselves are decked up in labels, why should the children be left out?It is because children out grow the clothes very fast and secondly they feel that clothes are more important than anything else, because they are too young to understand the dynamics of life..

A person will always admire and respect  Narayan Murthy irrespective of his clothes...Clothes can bring appreciation and envy, but not the respect to anyone. Thats the reason i feel that we should give more importance to.. what we do than what we wear..

Now many people will say why cant we have both....so we can if we have become an icon for our kids..with our morals and value..It should be in that order only..first character then clothes, not the vice versa.

what is your take?

Story

Arey! Mr. Sharma hasnt come today..said Mr. srivastav to other friends..they were all retired people who used to gather in the evening in the park. Just then they saw Mr. Sharma coming..today he seemed very happy and had a spring in his gait. He told his friends  that just now he had got the phone from his son that he was coming home for two weeks.
Sharmaji was a middle class man, and he had a dream that once his son grows up, and gets settled, he(sharma) would sit in the balcony in the morning, with his wife and drink tea, read newspaper free of all responsibilities. But his son decided to go abroad..now he was coming for a few weeks...so Mr. sharma thought that he can fulfill his dream for atleast 2 weeks, his wife thought..my legs would get some rest now..DIL will look after the house, I will play with the children and enjoy their company.

There his son and family were thinking about their India trip, son said..I am so tired of all these deadlines and all the work, I am going home,and relax, papa is there , I will ask him to complete some of my paper work also. Wife said..I am so fed up of cooking all the time and taking care of the children..I will just sit there..mom can look after the kids and cooking..

When dreams clash..everything goes down..kya hona tha, son went back earlier than planned..parents were totally dissappointed..nobody remained happy.

This is the synopsis of a story i read in a magazine and thought of it..why it happens?..Its always the wrong expectations.

Lets take the parents first..They always postpone their life for children,instead children should be a part of their life, not life  itself..If they need help they must employ a domestic help..may be cut some other expenses but spend on getting help..They must save for their retirement, instead of providing only for the children,nothing for their old age.

For the children..when they go home, they are grown ups and their parents have grown old now, so instead of taking help, they should try to help them. For relaxing they must take another holiday...on their own.