HAM AAPKE HA KAUN

yesterday i was surfing the channels and started watching..ham aapke hain kaun/ Whenever we watch this movie..my husband always wishes that we have a family like this and the same wish was once expressed by my brother also. This is such a lovely movie.with family values and magical romance.Most of the people always think that movies show us the wrong ways and opulent living only, but if we want to see, this movie advocates many good things........

•  Dresses are all the time decent and wearable and according tot he occasions.
• The head of the family wants to marry his nephew with a good girl and when he sees his friend's sweet daughter, he finalises her.though she is not as rich as they are, so she cant bring a dowry,nor she could have been accustomed to their grand life style. But he wants a girl, who is well mannered, affectionate , intelligent and  caring from a cultured family, so who could be better than Pooja whose father is a teacher(not the modern ones)....his criteria for a life partner is best suited for a family...and he doesnt demand dowry.
• When the Bahu comes to the house, she is given the utmost respect and love and everyone is asked to make her comfortable, and entertain her, so she doesnt miss her family.....what happens in our life is that when a new girl comes, everybody thinks and declares what she would do for them , not what they are going to do . In the garb of humour, she is commented upon her looks, her family and dowry. And if she is bored, instead of entertaining, she is given some household work to engage herself.
• The bahu tries to adapt herself to the ways of new family and looks after everyone with love and care, now she is the centre of whole family, whereas in real life girls want the family to change their ways according to them, and they love only their own parents and family only..to ensconce yourself truly in a new family, its mandatory to put the other family on back burner, which not many are ready to do.
• When a child is born or the sister comes to her sasural to visit, she brings some gifts for her family and gives it with lot of love..whereas today girls dont want their parents to give anything to inlaws, and by doing so they emphasize their thinking..one that inlaws are not their own, second they believe in traditions only where it suits them...whereas these gifts are just tokens of affection, its not their cost or anything which matters, its the feelings.otherwise why have gifts on anniversaries, bdays, valentines.
• Prem And Nisha love each other, but FAMILY comes before their self interest or love, is it ever possible today..leave aside life time things, none would sacrifice even a morning sleep for family.....
• and family means that elders look after the youngsters and their interest.
• Bahu's family comes to her inlaws and their stay is memorable for their harmony.they are given lot of love and respect, and on their part, they never try to show their ownership on anything and there their daughter is first the DIL of that house and then their daughter.

A good family doesnt come free..it needs lot of hard work and adjustments from everyone.

VALUES

The biggest strength of our life are our values, traditions, relations and certain rules which we follow wheth.er we like or not। Now a days when I see people justifying everything; like saying-Ramayana is outdated or when boys are not like Rama why should girls be expected to behave like Seeta ,i feel surprised at their ignorance.Ramayana can still solve most of our problems if we go by it.
Why otherwise so many relationship management books are getting so popular or why so much importance being given to stress management.Its upto us where we find solution either going to the new age classes or going back to the roots.
Why so many youngsters are delving into spritual field and trying to find the knowledge and truth ? This is not their age to go into that specially in todays busy times when nobody has time even for families. The reason is that this generation wants to go away from the rules and regulations because they want to be free of everything ,everybody and all responsibilities.But then they are not really happy inside, so they are looking for happiness in all the things spiritual.
While in India we have earmarked the times very clearly about the different duties in a life time.And god has given us this life with a particular purpose, whereby we are given certain responsibilties and if we perform them with all our best efforts, we will certainly attain the moksha, there is no better way of finding god than leading a virtuous life. But we find that performing our duties interferes with our comforts and we cant compromise our life and thats why we go on finding spiritual knowledge and doing all pujas and everything. See everything should be done at its own place and time, like if you are supposed to look after your young child but instead of that you do pooja in that time, you will never please god.So its better to learn the right perspective and right priorities.In life everything goes together, we cant compartmentalise neither things nor people

Good relationship are like trees, they demand attention and care in the beginning but once they blossom, they provide you shade in all the situations of life.

THE COLLECTOR'S WIFE

This book is written by Mitra Phukan.Its about life in Assam in times of insurgency.The protagonist is Rukmini wife of DC (district collector) Siddhartha. The story is an account of both, how insurgency affects the people and how the life of bureaucrat's wife is..glamour from outside and boring and empty there, as wives have to relocate all the time and they live a life without any friends..how they feel and and cope. and sometimes husbands being too busy or sometime callous even can bring infidelity into a perfect marriage.The way She empathises with the students and analyses their course of actions is very realistic.The small town scenario where everyone is concerned about others'slife more, with rumours abound, and how media plays every incident is quite true to life.
I liked the story because after a long time I read something real, because when I read English authors , I cant identify much with their situations, dilemmas as much as I can here..Its our milieu, our sensibilities and our moral code.
I wouldnt like to disclose more about the story,as it is a worth read:)

NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS

Last year I made a review for my resolutions here, and when i see them, i realise most of them are same today too, and when i read the post, I felt bad that few of my very good blogger friends are on sabbatical..hello Rebel, Nancy, shalom, Aarti,Smriti,deeply dip,Frankly speaking, Poonam Joshi, Tulip,Priya and some I must be missing to name..,.I am missing you all.

In addition to last  year ones I would like to add.....My resolutions are like my wishes...

I would like to enjoy grand children this year....this year will be..rather half year will be devoted to them.

My quest for freedom remains the same, but looking at my life, it seems a distant dream to me, I hope that one day I get it.

I wouldnt fuel the consumerism and buy only what I need, not what i want:)

Neither will over eat, nor will over feed the guests, its my strong feeling that god has given enough for everyone on earth, but few go empty stomach because other few take more than their share. I feel very irritated when people over feed their family and economise giving to other less privileged ones. Even if we give one chapati more everyday to our family, its 30 in a month, enough to give7-8 meals.

And I would request everybody who reads my blog to be careful of environment..use less water, generate less trash, and never ever litter around...be frugal with plastic. Buy less processed food, take a bag for shopping  and try to use less no. of plastic bags while shopping vegetables in branded stores..yes its possible..I do that, I put many things in one bag, with stickers outside for different items with their wt.

PICNIC TO CHUNAMBER

I had booked for this place through SNAPDEAL in December, but that day it was raining to it was postponed. This weekend they took us there. This place is around 10 km from Pondichery. The beauty of Chunamber lies in having backwaters on one side and beach on the other. It is an island. We took a motor boat and reached there. They have lovely thatched huts there for relaxing and enjoying the waves in front of the beach.Even the rest rooms are also made in the same way.Tea coffee,chips,cold drinks and some rice was available for food.Its a beautiful place .
In our group most of the people were young software professionals. But when we were supplied packed breakfast, , all of them ate it and threw the plate outside on ECR road.and same for the lunch..they littered the place without any care..and the irony is that they were behaving as if they have reached some place in their life..like arrived. I even told the manager from travel agency.GO world Holidays, that as a rule you must keep a big plastic bag and collect it in that and then drop it in a trash can. I was sad to see that all those young people were least bothered about environment.
Even on the island, people had thrown empty bottles, cans anywhere, very bad trend that people can walk miles for enjoyment but for civic cleaning, they dont like to stand or walk a step. leave everything wherever you are.... And then we say India is dirty..look at the foreign countries, the same people wouldnt dare to leave a paper anywhere abroad...I feel an instant dislike for people like this.
 While coming back we strolled at Pondichery beach.and saw a little bit of the city too, though i have seent the place earlier too. Anna salai there was so dirty, rather filthy, I was surprised that a place which gets so much of tourists and still no official bothers about cleaning. On the beach front we had an icecream in the restaurant.LeSoleil and the tables were looking like not cleaned for days.

Tree house

Fishermen, and they all had the same stuff..one basket, some cloth

See that huts have ventialtion too

One person was covering his friend in sand

Beach on one side

Lush greenery and back waters on other sidw

In spite of that I enjoyed the place and would like to go there with my children or siblings:)

FIRST POST IN 2011

This year I have been very late in posting my first post..and I when I had so much to post about:)..just the other day somebody was asking me about  some word from hindi..like what we say in Hindi for some spiritual discourse, and I who pride myself for my Hindi couldnt remember immediately that it is Pravachan, and the same thing happens to English too and its making me feel worried that i am loosing my grip on everything.No more I am comfortable in any language.
Last week i saw two movies too...

BAND BAAJA BARAAT...Its about two young people who want to make it big in life and through hard work and planning, specially the girl, I liked that part where she was insistent that she wouldnt use unauthorised electricity in wedding arrangements.The couple start their wedding arrangement services and are successful thru their hard work, and then happens the same story where if a boy and girl work together, they fall in love and the second half is about how they sort it out.The movie is entertaining.Anushka Sharma is good and Ranveer singh is ok, but it lacks that polish we need to see, its like without any shine..may be we needed some more star, some star quality here and then it would have been superb.

DO DOONI CHAAR.....this is about a middle class family and their morals and daily travails. Here  they have shown how a teacher struggles in life and is always ridiculed by some but with his morals and integrity he can do wonders and then gets the respect too.Rishi kapoor and Neetu Singh make it watchable, otherwise thought the story point is good but lacks that chutzpah. Everything is so drab.be it the dresses of the main characters or their homes etc..Middle class people need not to be so boring and dowdy.Both these movies needed some shine, some good music and some added assembled cast..just a good story line cant make a good movie,it needs the accessories too.good dialogues,script and music and most of all actors.

BIG BOSS too ended, and this time it was quite fair too in the choice of everything that Shweta won, and Sameer Soni got the most stylish actor award, as last year we felt cheated when Vindu got the tag for being stylish and even he was the winner which he didnt deserve.and this time as a host Salman Khan was superb, he put the life into this show,He did much better than any earlier anchor, he had an spontanity and ready wit and he was always very just with his words and everything..he won many hearts thru this show.

Every year I make some resolutions, and so I have done this year too, but post it next time:)