Wednesday, February 8, 2017

Why do men die first:)

I got this in email fwded by my sister, and I find it worth sharing..worth a few laugh:)

This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries, but, now we know. It requires a bit of explanation, first:

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race ... you're a male chauvinist.
If you stay home and do the housework ... you're a pansy.
If you work too hard ... there's never any time for her. If you don't work enough ... you're a good-for-nothing bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay ... this is exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay ... you should get off your lazy behind and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead of her ... that is favoritism. If she gets a job ahead of you ... its equal opportunity
.If you mention how nice she looks ... its harassment. If you keep quiet . .. its male indifference.
If you cry ... you're a wimp. If you don't ... you're an insensitive bastard.
If you make a decision without consulting her ... you're a chauvinist. If she makes a decision without consulting you ... she's a liberated woman.
If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy ... that's domination. If SHE asks you ... it's a favor
If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape ... you're sexist. If you don't ... you're unromantic.
If you try to keep yourself in shape .. you're vain. If you don't ... you're a slob.
If you buy her flowers .. you're after something. If you don't ... you're not thoughtful.
If you're proud of your achievements ... you're full of yourself. If you don't ... you're not ambitious.
If she has a headache ... she's tired. If you have a headache...you don't love her anymore.

Why do men die first?Because they want to.

Friday, January 13, 2017

Changing times

I was thinking that how with the times sensibilities also change..Like when I was young before marriage I wore salwar kameez , and after marriage, as was the custom sari..never found it uncomfortable or cumbersome, instead whenever some one from my in laws side wanted to see me in other dresses, I felt shy and uncomfortable....Today girls feel more comfortable in any  dress other than sari.

After marriage, when my surname changed, i never felt that its an attack on my identity, I felt even happy with Mrs. so and so..with my changed status.

In the same way I never ever thought that after marriage , I will do everything as in my parents place or follow the traditions of my parents family..I took to everything in my inlaws house very naturally, because i was brought up with that..I was given lot of love and everything, but i never thought that I will have any share in my parents's property, nor i will have any responsibilities  towards them...both remained with my brother.My duties and rights both  were in my new home.

Because of this type of thinking, in our times girls took less time in becoming one with the new family.






Tuesday, January 3, 2017

SCOUTING FOR A PARTNER

Now a days on of my nephew is looking for a life partner. And we came to know that today arranging a marriage is tough job, because earlier only boys had expectations, today girls have more expectations than boys, so matching them is quite difficult.
One thing i noticed that most of the time when boys scout for a girl , they like the girls who are good looking if not beautiful and talkative, and independent type,and they dont mind giving girls expensive gifts and doing other expenses while dating, but after marriage, they want wives to be economical, domesticated and polite.
And whenever they meet prospective candidates, they never ask relevant questions, instead its about trivia.like hobby, food etc.Though people change over time, i thought of certain things, which should be clarified before marriage...

  1. Both should know what they are looking for in a marriage..is it about eating out more, more movies and good clothes and exotic vacations only............................................................My thought...marriage means housekeeping, managing the extended family, cooking,and managing finances, so think who will do what?
  2. Is the partner ready to live with other one's parents? and if he situation arise how will they manage?.......................................................My thoughts..In our society its assumed that boys parents will live with them, so any girl assuming otherwise should be clear from the beginning,and if and when girls parents need them, boys should be ready for that.
  3. what do they think about having  children..
  4. what is their outlook about savings and expenditure?
  5. And most importantly..are both going to work? then what will be their coping mechanism?..My thought....is that if both work then both shouldnt be ambitious in career, one needs to take it easy..And if only one works, then other should take the responsibility of house without expecting any help from working spouse.
One's whole life changes with marriage, so its very important to take a decision with lot of mulling over all aspects.I like to think before marriage, and then make it work.





Thursday, December 29, 2016

New Year and my resolutions

Another year passed and again its time to think about resolutions. So far my track record has been very good, whatever I resolve, I follow, but this year what I am thinking of, needs others co-operation too. You see recently I crossed the milestone of 60..and got the proper stamp of a senior citizen( though women are considered senior citizen after 58 only)..I feel that its high time I got complete freedom from all societal pressures.Now everybody may think that at my age what pressure I can have,but this is not true.I have so many.But now I want to say that..

I will not call or talk to anybody whom  I dont want to.for whatever reason.I feel irritated with forced talk..result may be the loss of relationship,but i am ready to loose that.

I will not go anywhere, where I dont find the need to go like there are so many occasions where its just a formality to show your presence, and in the process, one spends sometimes lot of money and bears the inconvenience..most of the time its for some deaths in the families, sometimes its for marriages also..But here my belief is that if i care for someone, I do my best for them, and to them I will show my grief also, but going long distances just to give attendance is a waste of resources and i find it very awkward to condole somebody verbally.

I dont want to be extra nice to bad people..yes there are some vicious people whom you want to blast left and right and being nice to them is a strain on my energy.

I  shall voice my opinion freely without thinking of consequences :)

Dont you think that there should be a certain span of life when you live as you want?
Now friends, tell me, are my resolutions feasible, will I be able to follow them?





Tuesday, November 8, 2016

Suicide

Recently an army man's suicide made me think about it..Generally suicide is considered a crime, even insurance doesnt pay for it and here Delhi Govt. promised one crore to his family.isnt it instigating people to do it..because ours is a poor country and one crore is a big amount.Govt. should pay where its right, legal and required.Not to someone who is doing a crime.

I have seen many people commiting suicide due to different reasons, family feud, marital discord, poverty.etc etc. and most of the time some or other people are blamed for their act. But according to me,no where we can blame others for that..its like this..In life many people are getting exploited but not everyone becomes Phoolan devi and this is not the course we can advocate.Life is difficult for everyone at sometime..and one has to face it .

I saw one youngman committing suicide after marital discord with wife..now tell me there may be a divorce also and there are many other people who needed him and this was 35 years back when anti dowry act was not so popular.

Many time I have seen people acting differently and depressed, but then nobody bothers, they should get medical help, but blaming others.. family members or office colleagues or boss or society is not right.

We can do multiple things to make a better society and living environment, but blaming others is not one of them.

From the beginning, one must inculcate the feeling that adults have all the responsibility for their own life..how they live, or how they treat it.

We are a society of blamers.....some body doesnt work hard..but not getting promotion is boss' bad attitude or the eaisest way to say is because I dont do buttering.
Road is dirty.blame the govt..but we will always throw the trash there.
I didint get the job..not because I may not be worthy of it, but because i didnt have a push
We never take responsibility for our actions.

Monday, October 17, 2016

Marriage and divorce

Recently there was a case in the court where court granted divorce because wife wanted the men to leave his parents..I dont remember the details , but there was lot of noise by women saying that when men take the girls away from the parents its called marriage, but when a girl wants to keep a man away from parents its divorce why?

Really why?

I think it has many reasons, some  in culture and traditions and some due to practicality.

In our families its sons who bring a wife in our home..yes some places daughters also bring gharjamais, but thats only exceptions..as a rule girls only move to their inlaws. and even in case they are going to live in a separate city, but after marriage they first come home to their inlaws only..so the first step towards change would be.
The boys and girls should arrange their marriage on their own and celebrate it at a neutral place with their own earnings.
After marriage they should shift to their own home..they should arrange for that.
That way neither girls parents need to spend, nor boys parents need to give lot of jwellery and clothes.
Unless the young people decide to be totally financially independent they cant bring a change.

Second thing ..in many families parents spend all their future money on their sons in the hope that once they get settled they will look after them..as is our social structure..But when their DIL doesnt want them they have nowhere to go..After a few years parents will become wise when it becomes a rule, but today they are helpless..so for all the girls who think they cant take the responsibility of inlaws need to state it at the time of choosing the groom.

Till such time that a totally fair system evolves..its the duty of both ..sons and daughters to look after their parents in need..living together is not necessary, they may arrange a separate place for them but helping them with whatever they need financially or physically is their moral responsibility..Its true for both set of parents.

Monday, October 10, 2016

Milking the Rivers - the art of High profile Advocacy*

*I got all this info in email from my friend..found it worth sharing...
The Rivers have become the perennial source of revenue for the team of few politically connected lawyers. ?? Forget about serving their State free of cost, the team has extorted huge sums of public money in the name of appearances, conferences, clearkage, travelling in first class, meetings in five star hotels.
Just take the Mahadayi dispute. We have the legal team of many lawyers and tens of water experts. Mr. Fali Nariman charges Rs.4,50,000/- (Rs four lakhs fifty thousand) per appearance and Rs.1,00,000/- (Rs. One lakh) per hour !! He has already had 50 hours of conferences just for the application to be filed in Mahadayi for interim measures!. There were five hearings. The total fee paid to Mr. Nariman just for the application was Rs. 70,20,000/- (Rs Seventy lakhs twenty thousand).
The total fee paid to lawyers for the application we lost is Rs. 5,00,000,00/- (Rs. Five crores)
The lawyers who represented are sriyuts
1. Fali Nariman
2. Mohan Katarki
3. Kashi Vishveshwar,
4. Zirali,
5. S.S. Javali,
6. Divan
7. Advocate General
8. Anitha Shenoy
9. Nishant Patil.
The fee paid in the water disputes is as follows.
1. S.Vijay Shankar Rs. 6,10,000/- (rs six lakhs ten thousand)
2. Ravivarma Kumar Rs. 30,75,000/- (rs thirty lakhs seventy five thousand)
3. Present AG Rs. 10,000,00/- (rs ten lakhs)
4. Fali S Nariman Rs. 2,60,30,000/- (rs two crores sixty lakhs thirty thousand)
5. S.S.Jawali Rs.1,14,52,900/- (rs one crore fourteen lakhs fifty two thousand nine hundred)
6. Mohan Katarki Rs. 2,41,58,828/- (rs two crores forty one lakhs, fifty eight thousand eight twenty eight)
7. Brijesh Kalappa Rs. 67,99,534/- (rs sixty seven lakhs ninety nine thousand five thirty four
8. S.C. Sharma Rs. 41,05,000/- (rs forty one lakhs five thousand)
9. Anitha Shenoy Rs.1,04,37,085/- (rs one crore forty three lakhs thirty seven thousand eighty five)
10. Nishant Patil Rs. 82,75,437/- (rs eighty two lakhs seventy five thousand four thirty seven)
11. M.B.Zirali Rs. 80,49,499/- (rs eighty lakhs forty nine thousand four ninety nine
12. Kashi Vieshwar Rs. 27,47,426/- (rs twenty seven lakhs forty seven thousand four twenty six)
13. Clerkage Rs. 26,03,000/- (rs twenty six lakhs three thousand)
The clerkage fee was paid to Mr. Nariman. Which clerk has he paid.? All clerkage fee is pocketed by the senior lawyers.
S.C. Sharma is junior of Mr. Nariman and he pocketed more than Rs. forty .
Nishant Patil? He is the son of Justice N.K. Patil of Karnataka High Court. He was enrolled only on 26 June 2009 and was included in the Mahadayi legal team in 2011 within just two years of his enrolment. He has already pocketed more than rupees eighty lakhs ! There are several lawyers in Delhi and Karnataka who are more meritorious and experienced than him. But the considerations are altogether different.
Please see the names. Except one or two, rest of them are close to the politicians and political cronies. One congress crony has made the billing of more than 67 lakhs.
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Most of the lawyers on the team (with greatest respect including Nariman) have become spent force and huge liabilities. Mr. S.S.Jawali is on the Cauvery panel also for last 45 years !
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One Advocate General who wanted to argue as “Kannadiga” and claim to be Samaritan pocketed rupees thirty lakhs.
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While the Tamilnad lawyers have offered pro bono services for the legal work, the scenario here is converse. The entire legal team barring one or two, have wasted public money. They travel in first class, they use Govt cars, they have meetings in five star hotels
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The total legal expenditure for water and border disputes is about 15O crores. !
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The conviction is lacking. The dedication to serve their State free of cost or with nominal fee is completely missing. The rivers are being used to make ugly fortune.
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Really sad state of affairs.