Tuesday, July 10, 2018

Dreams of parents

Now a days counselling and admissions are going on for colleges, so I see parents fretting around and always talking about reservations and bad system, and whatever is bad in country..but I  feel that..

The very first thing parents should learn and teach their children also to give their best in the given circumstances..prepare the children ,not the road they are going to walk on.

The same people who crib about reservation and corruption and source,never hesitate to take any advantage of people, system or in their job.Then it never comes to their mind that they are depriving some meritorious person of his/her due. If they can get the admission through some back door, they will certainly go for it.

I am not justifying reservation, but that is a problem we cant tackle.its a bigger issue and needs political will.

Some people suggest that we should prepare our children to go abroad, forgetting that the level of excellence or money( one needs to have atleast one of this) needed to go abroad, can open many doors even in India.The children who are not able to qualify here, will not be able find a place there also.

Then people say every parent has a dream for children and when its not fulfilled, heart is broken..again I would say, its not a dream,its a wishful thinking. To see dreams and fulfill them, we need to work really hard and have a commitment and focus..and try and try till we get it.

In our times, parents never accepted that their child is studying well, they were always cynical or negative..padhte nahi ho.always underestimated....today parents always overestimate their children and find faults outside.

Tuesday, July 3, 2018

SANJU

There was so much of hype was going around this movie that I had to see this one. Now this is supposed to be the biographical,but its not exactly a bio, because neither they have covered whole life, nor everything in any particular period. They have chosen a few aspect of Sanjay dutt,s life and elaborated on that only.that too in a very selective way showing only good part...so quite disappointing in that way because it looks like a PR exercise.

There is no mention of his first two marriages, even daughter, nothing much about his professional life and liaisons or friends except two. its only about how Sanjay was wronged by media, friends etc etc..

The best part of the movie is Vicky kaushal who plays a genuine friend of Sanju..he is so adorable that he lights up the scree when he comes up.Next best thing is Ranbir kapoor, he has done his part quite well and then Paresh Rawal is just excellent.Manisha koirala doesn't look like Nargis dutt and looks so haggard and jaded. Diya Mirja looks beautiful but expressionless..just wooden.And Anushka sharma is the biggest joke here..she looks more like a fashion model than a famous writer and just cries.
Music is also nothing to write about.

Its a one time watch to just see how well provided, and pampered children also ruin their life and how good parents take care of their kids and the best part it teaches us is that friends must be chosen with lot of care..here one friend destroys him and another always stood by him.

Monday, June 25, 2018

Retirement

Now a days whenever we are in a group, discussion veers towards retirement and where and how we are going to settle down. Since my group comprises of people in 40,s..there are lot of dreams and aspirations about retirement. But with that many are seeing with their parents what is the ground condition.
Many people think of settling in their home town, whereas their whole life they have been at other places but such is the lure of home town. But I will say think about it, nostalgia is good but practicality is different..may be there is nobody left whom you can bond with, because many people of your age may have to shift near their children and places have changed. Like i cant live in my home town any more, I like Chennai way better than any other place.
Some people want to be near their siblings and relatives...about that what can be said, except that by the time we retire, relationships dynamics have changed a lot,fondness may be still there,but not much closeness, and sometimes the end comes early and most of the people are more into their children.
Then its about independent house or apartment..everything has its own pros and cons..with independent house, one needs a watchman, gardener and maid for 24 hours, if one can afford all that, its easy to maintain, otherwise its better to have an apartment,because at least now you wouldnt be restricted in your retirement period. one can go and plan trips.

My personal dream is to live frugally  in a small village in a small house with lots of greenery outside..just with nature and God.or somewhere in community living.

Monday, June 18, 2018

Marriage

I was always of the opinion that we are better off because we dont have divorces so much.because i feel that divorce always makes a very Strong effect on children, but thats another topic,another time.In this week i came upon a few couple and some of them in their 50,s and realized that they are living a facade, they are so unhappy and full of aggression, whereas outside nobody can realize that even.So I cant say now that unhappy marriage is better than divorce, but.yes I have a few suggestions to resolve that conflict,its only my experience which I am sharing, no expertise,,

For our happiness we have to take charge ourselves, it shouldnt depend on others behaviour or doing be it spouse, children, relative or friends.we should do what makes up happy, of course without hurting anyone.

We should have lot of communication, unless we tell our spouse what we dont like, how the situation will change.

we should do our own thing some of the time, like I love watching movies but my husband doesnt, so i go with my friends, and if no friends, I may go alone also. Same way if one person doesnt like travelling or has any other reason may be health or anything, and second one wants to see places, then occasionally make a programe on your own.

We can not be conjoined twins, we are two individuals, coming from different back grounds and different personalities and if its an arranged marriage, then may be we dont have a single common interest, so we need to find a common ground with lots of communication.

Many spouses never realize that other one doesnt like their too much emotional contact with their siblings, it doesnt mean that we stop loving our siblings, but we should honour our spouse feelings also, and he/she should always come first. we can love our siblings and do everything but without involving our spouse all the time.

I would say that..

Life is not about pleasing everyone,
but hurting no one.




Tuesday, June 5, 2018

FRIENDS

Today i saw a quote and liked it..it was.like intelligent people have few friends because they are selective something like that..and as soon as I posted it in my group, discussion started. Those who have lot of friends, felt that it was a blow to their intellectual status and it left me wondering, how and why we make friends, and why some people have lots and some only few.

Actually making or not making friends, it all depends on liking and nature and we have all sort of people in this world.

There are some who like like to be surrounded by people, so they make lot of friends, and obviously they are not very selective about them. Because its very difficult to find lot many people who are like minded, you get only few.And in this scenario, not many people are genuine friends.

And there some people who like to be surround by one or two but like minded people,who believe in same things and have similar tastes, though sometimes opposites also attract.

For me personally I am a loner, prefer my own company over just any other person.I cant be friendly with just anyone and everyone. I help everywhere, whenever required, but I am friendly to a very few.and this has been the scenario from my childhood. I like my books more than artificial people , because i find many people who have no ethics and honesty in relationships, whereas for me these things are more important than affection even. And fake relationships are more painful than being on your own, because every second day you are hurt with their attitude. Today its a material world, people side where they gain, they dont have any permanent likings.

That way i can say that I like wise enemies more than foolish friends or even relatives.

What do you think?

Sunday, May 27, 2018

Life lessons

Now a days I see lots of messages where govt and systems are criticized and then many where the other side is being shown, and  i think why not spend the same time bettering the system, so i feel that..first we should change ourselves and then only start showing mirror to system or govt, because nothing works without people..govt. is nothing but people only..so here are few areas where we can change ourselves..

First one is paying taxes, we should hide our income and pay full tax, shouldnt take any recourse to find loop holes in the system.

Secondly..no one should get unauthorized constructions in their homes. go the right way.

Never try try to find short cuts or jugaad for any legal recourse.

Do not get your children admitted to schools where donation is required....May be inconvenient but thats the price we should be ready to pay for a better country.

Dont try to find your son/daughter an admission in colleges through money..let them study according to their capabilities..careers are made by passion to study, not by money.

Dont give any bribe anywhere,,,may be you may have to run around be prepared for that inconvenience.

Last but not the least..dont give respect to money but to values, ethics and honesty...earning shouldnt be equated with success.A fulfilling life can be lived with limited money but empathy for others is very important.

Once we can do all that then only we get the right to point fingers to others.


Sunday, May 20, 2018

Raazi

Yesterday I saw Raazi and its such a compelling,mesmerizing movie that I wanted to document here about it.It is so astonishing that such a brave story is real.Its about a family..kashmiri family where they believe and do also that there is nothing more important than watan.country, Its a lesson to everybody that today people think about always big cars, big houses and lavish life style and even if they get it at the cost of honesty..no problem, no hesitation and here is a family where a dying father sends his 20 year old only daughter to Pakistan to spy for the country..
The way Alia has essayed the role, she deserves the best award..mind blowing and she looks so beautiful and Vicky kaushal is looking so innocent and handsome as Pakistani army officer..and all the assembled cast has done so well..Jaideep Ahlawat as Raw trainer, then Rajit kapoor as father is awesome.Movie is so real ..the way they train a young girl who is so sensitive that she cant see even  a squirrel getting hurt and scared of injections is taught to kill if the situation arises.

You will come out humming.Dilbaro..

Kudos to Meghna Gulzaar for making such an excellent movie ..we need to see something like this today when everywhere self interest and corruption rules.

Dreams of parents

Now a days counselling and admissions are going on for colleges, so I see parents fretting around and always talking about reservations and...