Tuesday, March 24, 2009


I am asking this question to myself for the last 2-3 days and with a lot of introspection these are the results:-----

I have a heart and it

beats for everybody,

If I feel the pain of a DIL being harassed by inlaws , so I feel sad for the news of... two senior citizen being left on the road every day in Chennai..so much for a city of traditional people.

If I mourn for the Gujarat carnage, so I feel the anguish of people of Godhra.

If I dislike BJP supporting the RSS, so I dislike Congress for supporting Muslim League in kerala.

If I support the freedom to children, then i ask them to respect the elders also.For me Duties and Rights are joined together and inseparable, one cant ask for one thing without taking the other.

If I am a religious person and go the temples regularly, then I go to Haji ali, also ( my father used to send a Chadar every year to Ajmer Dargah) and keep a pin drop silence in the church, as they demand that and I respect them.

If I am proud of my language and state, then i do the utmost efforts to learn Tamil also as I love this language......( I felt very sad to see on this blog( it is a beautiful post I loved it, but it was spoiled by few words) that still there are educated people who hate Hindi and us, I asked them why? If you can embrace English which is a foreign language and even can take pride in speaking it, then what is wrong with Hindi..after all its the language of your fellow countrymen.)

If I love my daughter a lot, then so I do my son too, would like to see both of them happy, not one at the cost of other.

If I want the justice for the dowry harassed girls, then my heart bleeds for the boys also who are being victimised by our laws.

My heart bleeds the same for everyone whether they are people in Mumbai riots or Mumbai blast victims or Hindus in kashmir, it doesnt differentiate the casts.

I never learnt to get bigger by making someone smaller.....kisi line ko bada karne ke liyedoosri ko chhota karna jaroori nahi ha, rather khud ko bada karna jaroori ha

If I rejoice the marriage of my maid Suman and give her a saree then i feel the same joy when my tailor Rashid miya is blessed with a daughter and give her a doll.

For me being secular doesnt mean to down grade anybody, I take pride in my religion, but I respect all other religions also...thats what secularism is all about. and it has to be practised in day.to.day life, not to be discussed only at the time of election.

If I like Premchand then i like Kahlil Zibran also.

If I like Namak Haram so I like Shaheen ( a serial based on muslim story) also

And for me hoisting a Pakistani flag or rejoicing over their wins is not being patriotic or secular.

I am wondering why, my heart doesnt beat selectively like those celebrities or politicians, it should beat only when I can get something out of it.....................I
Is my heart in the right place? please tell me.

I want justice to all and appeasement to none, whether its by caste or gender and that will be the real equality, we must remove all the reservation based on cast or gender anywhere in life, if at all we should have some, then it must be on economic criteria.No subsidies nothing.

I know. for sure ...... I am a truely secular and humane.


Chriz said...

you are seeing this from a more matured motherly angle.. thanks for opening my eyes and broadening my views to the positives and negatives in life... i see them all in a humar tone..

aneri_masi said...

Lovely post, RenuDi!

Your heart is in the right place, simply because you have one! The politicians you are talking of have already sold theirs to the devil :(

Pixie said...

Lovely Post! :)

And yes, your heart is in the right place.

Anonymous said...

Sure Renuji, I agree completely. I dunno why it is so difficult for a lot of people to understand.

I guess, there is a lot of hate in this world and I don't think it can be conquered with more hate.

Renu said...

Chriz; I like your type of humour, its necessary today, not to take everything so seriously:)

Aneri_masi: Thanx:) for reassuring me,otherwise today i find always a bias against something or other.

Pixie: Thanks Pixie !

Rakesh: I think we cant bring the people into the main stream by giving sops and being lenient only.
Anything wrong must be condemned irrespective of the caste of the people.
To bring a change, we must provide education to everybody.

Anonymous said...

Your heart - One of the best.
May be enough room to accomodate many. Say thanks to God.

Still thinking said...

...and I'm so glad to read that it beats oh so for the RIGHT reasons! :)

Most of the ppl of India think exactly like you Renu - We, the people are all humane and secular and we'd be so happy to have it exactly like this all the time. But we all also know that the divide is only caused by these power hungry politicians.

Yes, we need an educated nation and we need to start making the right choices.

hitch writer said...

honestly even i am going through the same emotions as you...

but i m sure the phase will pass...

and your heart is in the right place... you dont need any one to tell you that !

Destination Infinity said...

When you are exposed to too much of badness - Only two things can happen. Either you too become bad or you start to learn to handle the badness with your goodness. I am glad that you chose the second option.

Destination Infinity

Anonymous said...

I don't know wht triggered this post but ur heart is definitely in the right place :)

Piper .. said...

:) lovely as the post is, I confess my heart does not beat the same for everyone :)

Indyeah said...

I want justice to all and appeasement to none, whether its by caste or gender and that will be the real equality, we must remove all the reservation based on cast or gender anywhere in life, if at all we should have some, then it must be on economic criteria.No subsidies nothing.

I agree:)
And my next post is somewhat along these lines(still lying in drafts though lazy me:D)

no,you dont need validation just plain belief is all it takes:)))

Solilo said...

"I want justice to all and appeasement to none, whether its by caste or gender and that will be the real equality, we must remove all the reservation based on cast or gender anywhere in life, if at all we should have some, then it must be on economic criteria.No subsidies nothing."

Renu, Amen to all that. I too wish for an India without reservations on the basis of caste and religion though I am all for empowering economically backward people from all religions and caste.

I wish we have Uniform Civil Code in India because then that would be true Democracy.

Renu said...

Hobo: Thank u so mu7ch ! you made my day:)
yeah I thank god every minute I live:)

Still thinking: Thanx:). But i dont think that most of the people think like that, otherwise we would have so many conflicts.
Isnt it ironic that Poilticians who can be counted on fingers can manipulate a nation of millions?

Destination Infinity: One thing I can say confidently and have always taken pride in is my values and character and nothing in the owrld can make me change that.

Hitchwriter: I feel really sad at that selective anguish and secularism of educated people and then I wonder..is it for their personal benefit?.

Swats: Oh in this election time, I kerep reading about pseudo secularism, u remeber when u wrote the post dont demonise....... and my response:), I practice real secularism in my life and thats what i wanted to tell:)

Piper: Ehatever u say:) I know that you are a very soft hearted and one of the sweetest person on earth:)

Indyeah: :) I even dont like reservations for woman, why should we ask for it? we must get everything on merit..if we want real equality.

Solio: I think instead of anything else..we must give the most emphasis to education..it can only bring the desired change...I feel that if we have good law and order then also lot of things will change.

Shalom said...

I think this is your best post ever!!! What you said about rights & duties is exactly what my mom had told me once. She was like, everyone fights for their rights, but nobody wants to fulfill their duties.

That other blog you linked to that cribbed about Hindi, what that lady wrote was absolutely disgusting. People like that are part of the reason we are not a united India.

Renu said...

Shalom: thanks:) I am really honoured:). But i feel that we crib a lot about everything but ourselves hardly do anything.

You are the first person to acknowledge that linked blog. I felt very disheartened, whereas in reality i get so much of love and respect from my neighbours that i am very happy here.

Sandhya said...

I read your post yesterday but wanted to read the links also before commenting. When we see negativity around us, we feel this way, Renu. We can do our best not to hurt anyone and try to bring up our children with good values.

I read the 'boys' link and was a bit upset. It happens and without any reason, some innocent people are punished. I coudn't understand one thing...I have read everywhere that the court cases run for years and some people are put in jail for that period also. Then again the court's verdict punishes them for more years. What about the years they had stayed in the Jail? I am not able to understand our law or British law - we are still following them, I am told.

I was really upset about the 'hindi hatred' blog of some lady. As you said her post was good but why did she spoil it by inserting her personal hatred into it? Her children, if they are in Tamilnadu also, might be studying with Hindi as second language! Really, I am ashamed of the lady.

This is the best post of yours, I am sure, Renu.

J P Joshi said...

You have your heart in the right place. Wish we had more of your kind... India would then be an even better place to live in. Agree with you on the Rights and Responsibilities bit. Loved the post.

the blogger formerly known as sansmerci said...

and thts exctly y i like u and ur blog so muchhhhhhhhhh :)

Indyeah said...

If economic background becomes the criteria for reservation ,sure why not?
Then I would be more than glad to drop the point of women's reservation...but sadly I dont see either of the two happening...The women's bill is not being passed...and economic criteria seems a far fetched dream...

Just call me 'A' said...

Renu, you are a beautiful person with a beautiful heart and like I've said before, "You have my heart" :)
this was a very heartfelt post and I loved reading it

Renu said...

JPJOSHI: Thanks, you see I was born and brought up in a place with muslim majority, I know their culture, language etc. so well, and so my thoughts are always practiacal and based on reality. I practice secularism in my daily life, I never make friends with the surnames.

and above all I still believe that there are more good people in our country than the bad ones.

Sansmerci; Thanx:):), but mam where are u? still on the honeymoon?

Indyeah; Hoga, kabhi to hoga, but we should strive inb the right direction. I always feel that asking for reservation is like putting the first nail in the coffin of equality.
If we want equality, then we should make ourselves capable and we will get it, instead of demanding it like as right, we must command it with our abilities and thats the way I shall alsp feel proud of ourselves, I will tell u one incident of my life thru next post:)

Just call me A: Thank u so much, [eople like you make my belief stronger that still there are young people who see the better sides of life.

Renu said...

Sandhya: Really Sandhya, I felt very bad for the boy, becuase i know him personally, and he is a very simple guy, our laws are very weird at some places, his old parents and brothers were also put in jail, though they were nowhere on the scene.

And I laways believe that knowledge any language always helps you but feel surprised by the narrow minded ness of some people, I put a question on her blog also..though she didnt publish it.how can u embrace foreign lang, but not hindi?

What have we done to deserve this?
I felt very hurt, but then the people around me..tamilians, telugus and malayali..I have 3 friends who are of different region, their love for me makes me conquer all bad feelings.

Thank u Sandhya !

Sandhya said...

When I was in Bangalore, I had a Tamil neibour. She was living there for more than 15 years. Still her neighbour will talk to her in Kannada and this lady will reply in Tamil! They talk so much..you will not notice that they are talking in different languages!

People like this Kamini will never change. She must have lived only in Tamilnadu and may not have come across with other language friends. I too tried to comment in her blog, but after writing a long comment, I noticed that it will not be published. I had to register in 'type pad' or something. I was bored to go through that. Anyway, forget it.

HAPPY GUD PADWA to you and all the bloggers!

Sandhya said...

Renu, Farida Jalal has entered Balika Vadhu. It is going to be different, now! Watch!!

Smriti said...

Ma, this is such a beautiful thought and I don't think it could've been put in better words! I'm sooo proud of you :)

Renu said...

sandhya: thanks for making me feel so better:) you are a dear friend:)

I keep chking on balika badhu:), but now there is another one very good....namak haram on real, and its story is so close to my heart....An IAS officer with a conscience can do so much for the society:)

Salil said...

Very nice and deep thoughts. Thanks for sounding them aloud. We can all learn from them.

Renu said...

Smriti: :):):):):):):):):):)

Salil: Thank u Salil ! I have always lived those thoughts.

A rebel all the way... said...

Nice post. I wish everyone could be like that, it would solve so many problems our country faces. It seems the 'divide and rule' policy the Britishers used to their advantage is now being used by our politicians to get mileage.

Renu said...

Rebel: where are you now.a.days?

Not only politicians, but I see that many intellectuals are also now usinfg these things to their advantage..chk Firaq.

Anonymous said...

mausi ur heart is certainly on the right path,people these days are gender biased ,religion biased and still argue that they are just and secular,its heart rending 2 know that many people in order 2 fetch vote for themselves go on do things which are kidish and they some times end up doing things which lead 2 communal violence.our politicians give speeches which our somtimes misunderstood but it is our duty 2 see that things dont take an ugly turn.if every person of the world just thinks abt putting his actions right,the world will become a much better place 2 live in....after all we dont want to become a frog in the well do we???

Renu said...

Wow Rahul:) serious thoughts on a young head:)

Preeti said...

and on the similar lines I am so proud to say ..even mine is in right place ...

may be because I have friends from all over India and now even all over the world ...

I am from J&K ...have lots of muslim frends , and am glad even I never made friends by sirnames..

when I came to bangalore even I had reservations ...but later I adapted to the ways ..I have learnt that there are differnt cultures , people and languages ..AS I love speaking in punjabi somone else loves his/her language ...but as I feel like an alien in south Indian crowd when they speak local language ..I feel its rude on their part ...I wud not do that when I am with my frends ...

also I realised that when we can appreciate foriegn language , then why not our own ... I can understand bit of kanada , telgu now ...

its our own prejudices and shallowness of mind when we differentiate people on color, state , language , sex and even social status ....

I loved your post ..

hugs to you

Renu said...

Preeti: I think this cosmo view and open mind comes only after exposure, and since here not many people have ventured outside south, they are reserved in their views, but those who have lived outside south are all very open minded.

But still....I find it very strange to dislike your fellow countrymen like that, I could never do it.

.but as I feel like an alien in south Indian crowd when they speak local language ..I feel its rude on their part ...I wud not do that when I am with my friends ... This thing I have felt everywhere, as I have lived in maharashtra, Bengal and now south--so now I am quite used to it:) and feel very nice when someone points out...hey she doesnt understand Tamil:), speak in Eng. or Hindi.

Poonam J said...

Loved this post Renu...you speak from your heart, and no wonder you will win hearts. I guess we have problems today...because everybody has their own interpretation of secularism.
You say....I am wondering why, my heart doesnt beat selectively like those celebrities or politicians, it should beat only when I can get something out of it...Is my heart in the right place?..................Loved this part....You have a strong mind and a soft tender heart.Yes your heart is in the right place.Loved this post

Renu said...

Poonam J; I am very happy to welcome you here :)
Seriously I am fed up of watching these pseudo secularists..in India secularism means bashing Hindus and favouring Muslims,because this gets them something either fame or money or votes..they are manipulating muslims also for long due to this.Noone is really worried about their welfare, but sorry for me this is not right and I wont do it.
Thanks very much for your compliments, you are very generous to me:)

Hip Grandma said...

you are a kind soul but like me you support the underdog and perhaps get mistaken by both groups.at least i know that i face the problem.

Renu said...

Hip Granma: I dont bother about being mistaken, becuase I know what i am, but feel frustrated with the double face celebrities and politicians who come out only for a certain time and community, thoyught hey care for nobody.

lan said...

couldn't agree more renu.
i am from the south and want you to know that i love listening to hindi and believe it to be the most beautifully spoken indian language. i arrived at this conclusion when i was an REC student and came across a cacophony of spoken indian languages in addition to my own prolific mother tongue. students came from almost every single state of india including mizoram and i consider it a blessing to have been in that student body to experience an idealistic mini india.

Renu said...

Ian: Thank you Ian for your kind words! But My point is this also...that liking is a very personal choice, one may not like Hindi but hating your national language and people from north..that is just too negative an emotion which i camnt understand.
I have met many people form other states..and I have never judged them by their language or state, and sometimes even their negative traits also have led me to ana;lyse why they are like that,Ultimately I always believe in goodness of human nature.

Lionel B said...

Well I guess you North Indians simply do not get it. I am from Chennai and GREW up in various parts of India as my father was in the Army. Antipathy towards Hindi - which by the way is far more foreign to us than English - stems from its imposition. Not only were we forced to learn a language that we never used but were frequently derided by many of its native speakers for enunciating with a South Indian accent. Add to that a very overt sense of superiority stemming from a lighter skin colour and, contrary to what has been noted by some on this blog, an inconsiderate use of that language oblivious to those who were unfamiliar with it, only served to reinforce my distaste for it. Merely calling it the national language does not make it so as that sentiment is not shared in Meghalaya, Mizoram or Arunachal Pradesh and even parts of Assam - all places i have lived in.

You are welcome to using it and even eulogizing but please do not throw stones when you live in a glass house

Renu said...

Lionel B: First of lall I welcome you to my blog !
which by the way is far more foreign to us than English ----why iis it more foreign to you?

racism by complexion is a worm eating many communities, and may be some north Indians indulge in this, but I wont ever support them, they are wrong.

And anything wrong doesnt becomes right if its done by opposition also
As north indians are wrong for racism by color or deriding..so are the people who hate them, both are the two sides of same coin and I belong to none.

And please I am not eulogising anything..u havent read my post clearly....I respect and love all my fellow country men as much as I love anything else, just that i cant degrade myself to show my love for others.

Anonymous said...


[b]Xrumer SEO Professionals

As Xrumer experts, we secure been using [url=http://www.xrumer-seo.com]Xrumer[/url] fitted a large time conditions and recollect how to harness the colossal power of Xrumer and go off it into a Bills machine.

We also provide the cheapest prices on the market. Many competitors devise charge 2x or even 3x and a end of the continuously 5x what we debt you. But we maintain in providing great accommodation at a tearful affordable rate. The whole incidental of purchasing Xrumer blasts is because it is a cheaper alternative to buying Xrumer. So we plan to abide by that contemplating in recollection and outfit you with the cheapest censure possible.

Not solitary do we have the most successfully prices but our turnaround time after your Xrumer posting is super fast. We will take your posting done to come you discern it.

We also cater you with a roundish log of loaded posts on manifold forums. So that you can notice over the extent of yourself the power of Xrumer and how we be struck by harnessed it to help your site.[/b]

[b]Search Engine Optimization

Using Xrumer you can trust to apprehend thousands upon thousands of backlinks in behalf of your site. Many of the forums that your Site you intent be posted on get acute PageRank. Having your tie-in on these sites can categorically mitigate strengthen up some top dignity help links and uncommonly riding-boot your Alexa Rating and Google PageRank rating utterly the roof.

This is making your instal more and more popular. And with this better in celebrity as grammatically as PageRank you can expect to appreciate your site definitely superiority gamy in those Search Motor Results.

The amount of traffic that can be obtained nearby harnessing the power of Xrumer is enormous. You are publishing your plat to tens of thousands of forums. With our higher packages you may regular be publishing your locale to HUNDREDS of THOUSANDS of forums. Visualize 1 brief on a stylish forum drive by rig out 1000 or so views, with communicate 100 of those people visiting your site. Modern imagine tens of thousands of posts on popular forums all getting 1000 views each. Your shipping ordain go because of the roof.

These are all targeted visitors that are interested or curious far your site. Envision how assorted sales or leads you can succeed in with this colossal gang of targeted visitors. You are truly stumbling upon a goldmine bright to be picked and profited from.

Reminisce over, Transport is Money.



Dreams of parents

Now a days counselling and admissions are going on for colleges, so I see parents fretting around and always talking about reservations and...