Thursday, December 31, 2015

New Year begins

Last 2 months have been very hectic for me, and I have lost touch with all my friends on blogger..I hope to catch up soon...

In the past year many important things happened to me..but with some catches.
Like we were blessed with a granddaughter, but couldnt go to see her for 7 months..
My nephew got married to his childhood sweetheart, but my husband couldnt join us,
My daughter and son.inlaw came but couldnt stay with us much because they couldnt reach Chennai due to floods.
My husband went to Belgium two times but I couldnt accompany him even once.

Today when i think about life and my expectations,..I feel that i want peace more than anything..I dont have any desire for any materialistic things..whatever i have i am very happy with that, but I want to surround myself with like minded people, people who respect elders..one thing which irritates me no end is the rudeness and aggression for no reason, .I want to say that to all  that choose your battles carefully...define your priorities in life and be sensible.

My own resolution for this year is to learn to say NO.to anything which I cant do or dont want to do.and to some people..even...

Here comes a brand new year for you to enjoy and accept the realities of life. Fill them with whatever your heart desires without any regrets this year. Stay blessed. 



Saturday, December 12, 2015

Udaipur

I have been absent for a long time and lot of big things happened..good and bad both..bad..flood in Chennai...my husband was supposed to take a flight on first December, he was boarded and sat there for five hours, and then they were disembarked and..nobody knew whats happening..and later it was impossible to reach home even..it was a nightmare as ph lines got dead, no electricity in the home, I was in Udaipur and couldnt even contact him, and then came to know about the destruction...people lost lives, houses everything...it takes a lifetime to make a home and it was destroyed in a jiffy..All because of some people,s greed and incompetence of officials..people living near the sea and getting flooded..
All the time govt. gives relief money, I wish that they spend the same money in prevention,, so that there is no misery for common man,no loss of home and life..now nothing can bring all that back..

And the good thing was that my nephew got married to his childhood sweetheart, in the bargain we were able to seedaipur which is a lovely place to see. Its much cheaper than Chennai.It has good food,and lot of things to shop. We saw lake palace..jagdish Temple and shilp gram. Ship gram is good to see only when there is any exhibition going on, otherwise its just an abandoned place

U

Monday, October 19, 2015

Insight

Most of the people see what they want to see..so where is the education and awareness?.

 There is this gentleman who never finds any fault in his own siblings or family,sometimes even justifies their wrongs,... whereas its known to everyone that his brother is a manipulative person and is very self centred, and looks after his own interest only, sometimes at the cost of others even.

Then there is this woman, who is always exploiting her inlaws,....but is unable to see that they care for her, and on the same time her husband thinks of her as a clean hearted person.

Then there is this person who takes lot of pride in being right in everything but where his wife is concerned , he has no idea about her.for him she is very simple, has no requirements, never spends anything, whereas she is just opposite of all this,

I see this all around me..we get all righteous and good only where others are involved, but when it comes to our own family, we  become blind to their faults.And then how can we expect a better society.I am yet to see anyone accepting that his/her mother is cunning or not good..everybody,s mother is an epitome of goodness only, so from where all this evil is coming?Women are the centre of everything, and wherever they are good, you will find lot of goodness around in their surroundings, family etc. What is the point in taking degrees and higher education, when we are not evolving as a person.

We shall protest against bribe, but our own friends and family taking it is fine, we dont shun them, rather respect them for their better financial status.

We want to discard dowry, but when our mother demands it, in our brother,s marriage, we support her .

We want  the black money from abroad to come back, but when our friends and relatives make it and enjoy it, we honour them and aspire to be like them..

So the change has to start from us..from our home..country will automatically change..

Start respecting the virtues, moral values...not the money..


Thursday, October 8, 2015

Upbringing

Lately i keep listening to everybody saying that they have got the beest values or their parents imparted them the best.but the otherside is always without any kind of value...I really wonder, if everybody is so good, why is there so much of rudeness, and misery in the world, and where is the otherside.

There  was this lady who will thrust this sentence everytime there was a misunderstanding..

MY PARENTS have given me good values, and I cant live without them..
(mere mabaap ne hame bahut acche sanskaar diye hain ham to kuch aisa waisa kar hi nahin sakte)
.And I saw her behaving in the worst possible manner to her husband, and his family and she had no qualms about taking taking advantage of the family..leave aside siblings she didnt even care for his parents..

Now this is the values she had been brought up with:)

Then there was this young man who will claim very forcefully the same thing:)
Now this young man got caught in making money so much that he forgot his old friends, family even his own parents..

again the same question?

Then there was this young woman, who will keep giving odes to her parents..my parents this, my parents that, they have made me what I AM TODAY..I agree to this part but what is she BTW..has she accomplished something in her own life?...in education, or in job, or in housekeeping..even in her hobbies...zero..

So my point is that what we have learnt from our parents or not, everything is visible thru us..our behaviour, our personality, nobody needs to shout it..or rather those who shout , may be they are infact trying to convince themselves....we can shout whatever we want, but our actions and word can  only confirm our values and sanskaar...

I have seen many young people so nice, courteous, educated that when we meet them we feel so happy and think that they come from a good family..and I dont mean wealthy, NO..from a sanskaari family..because their upbringing can be seen thru them...

Sunday, October 4, 2015

Is discipline a bad word?

Today i see everybody disliking the word..discipline..they want to do everything they like, whether its food, outing, clothes,sleeping, getting up.Nobody thinks that all this routine in life for eating in time, sleeping at time, and doing things in discipline was not made to please others, but for self only.But since these habits show the effect in long term, people realize only when they have any problem.
Todays parents dont want to discipline children at all, they give them  and let them eat at whatever time and whatever junk food, all in the name of love..is it love? I dont think so, I believe in Khalil Zibran when he says..love is judicial giving , judicial withholding.
Today its all about affordability, if parents can afford they will buy all the junk .be it in food, clothes, toys, without giving a thought to how much damage they are doing to the planet and even their own child..
In my own life i see many indisciplined people who were brought up with love but no discipline, and such people even in their life havent been able to use their full potential, and havent brought much happiness to the people surrounding them.
Whenever i see the young children falling sick frequently or having gastro problems, i feel very sad for them...for their parents...because whatever you do, at some point in life karma catches up..even if its a habit of indulgence..
I wish people realize that food and entertainment are not life, they are just a part of our life and let them remain there only

Sunday, September 27, 2015

ZINDAGI..PAKISTANI SERIALS.

I was surfing the channels and came upon ZINDAGI..a channel from Zee TV, it shows Pakistani serials. Just watched a few like Zindagi Gulzar ha  and few  more, I cant remember the names and liked them and realised that..

We dont have  a
single hero on TV who is more handsome than Fawad Khan..he is awesome looking in those serials.I just loved him..

Their serials are still based on stories and go fast, finish in a stipulated time, there is no stretching, you miss one episode and miss a lot.

They are much more natural in everything, be it sets, dresses or environment and showcase real problems.

Through the serials only I saw that there society is still very conservative and is biased towards men.Women still struggle for everything,,even education.

Some serials are really worth watching..

Monday, September 21, 2015

GIFTS..

Accepting a gift is also an art and not many people know it..I see many reacting like this..
Why did you get something so expensive?...( now expensive is a very subjective approach,it may insinuate the giver is not capable of affording it)
I never use it..
You give it to someone else....( who are you to suggest it...its so awkward to hear this, make you feel humiliated)
I dont wear this material.
I dont like border sarees..etc etc..

I see that people refuse to take gifts very easily saying.I don't use it or it wont be of any use to me.In the past i took whatever some one gave to me, later either I donate it or recycle it, in case  the gift was not of my liking, but i never could refuse it, because i thought it as an insult to the giver.
But today i am in a dilemma...what is the right thing to do...when we refuse to take something,
 what will that person do of the that gift?
 and if another gift is bought, may be its an additional burden to her,..
and is it civil and polite to say so?

And in the opposite case, if we take something and never use it, whats the point in taking?
Secondly the other person will never know our choice and may keep giving us the same thing?

Personally I think gifting should be kept as token and minimum, and shouldn't be refused, accepted with grace, irrespective of whether we use it or not?

What do you think?

Sunday, September 13, 2015

Am I being selfish?

Now a days I am reading Spouse..truth of Marriage by Shobha dey.and since its a book on major relationship in life ..one starts thinking about so many things, like there are some people in my life who claim to care for me, but rarely call me or even if my hubby goes on tour, i am alone,even  then they never make a call even once to ask, how i am managing..and about few of them, i can say that if I ever need them , they will be there for me, but some others ..may be..may not be, or whatever is convenient to them..
so what I am supposed to think..do they really care?
 Should I consider them my own...or i am right in feeling hurt? These are the same people whom I  have cared a lot and done a lot..so is it like asking my pound of flesh?
 Am I being selfish in the feeling that they should reciprocate?..I did what my heart told me to do, because i cared for them, why do I need their social grace, yes its that, to feel happy..Shouldnt I be happy with the feeling that I have done the best I could? and move on....
If ever for some reason, I am not able to do something, people make me feel so guilty, but they themselves never conform.
Is it right to feel exploited or this is the norm today..not to keep up the grace of being in touch..

Really, I am exasperated..sometimes people and relations make me feel so frustrated, but I am a typical saggi..comes out of this phase very fast, and start believing..I am doing my karma, they theirs...

Saturday, September 5, 2015

I love my parents and wish them to live 100 yrs

ON face book I get many posts saying.I love my parents and wish them to live 100 yrs..And i start thinking..its my brain which makes me think everything....why do they wish their parents to live 100 years...because most of the time a person above 90 cant be very independent and needs children to look after him/her, whereas their children will also be at that time in the age group of late 60;s or early 70's, and they themselves may be in need of care..of course its all probability only..some people may be fit and fine after 90 and may be independent also..but i am talking in general...How many children are able to take care of their parents for 40 years....barely minimum no. of people..most of the children get fed up after 15 yrs..They want an independent life...and there is nothing wrong with it..its a tiresome journey to look after somebody your whole life..even if he/she is your parent.

So get real..why wish something like this which is totally hypothetical..why not wish your parents a happy, healthy and respectful life..irrespective of years.

Even for myself I never wish for a long life for myself, instead I wish to be useful to somebody and live an independent life..I have no desire to see my grandchildren, then their childhood, then their marriage.....so on so forth...the list goes on...


Friday, July 31, 2015

Media and its priority

I am very saddened to see the news in last one week.

 A respected and revered person,s funeral gets second page whereas a convicts hanging gets full and front page. What is considered news now a days?

Then victims of Bomb blasts hardly get mentioned anywhere, may be a small corner somewhere, nobody wants to see their miserable life,but they are busy in the moods of criminals.

yes we are in a country where people like to read about prisoners mood and food but nobody is bothered about general public's plight.

Media is always fanning the passions in the wrong direction, earlier nobody wanted to comment on anything subjudice, but today every Tom Dick and harry has an opinion and on all serious issues and they  are trivialised either for personal gain or fame.

Imagine  all sort of people giving advice to supreme court. If people had such strong opinions, then why dont they fight it in court, why have a media trial?..otherwise whats the point of having law system.

Capital punishment should be there or not, is a separate issue and should be discussed separately, but as long as its there in our law system, nobody can say that it shouldnt be given.

So much is being done by good people but they get no mention anywhere, so much is needed to be done but nobody brings it to light, they are so busy with trivia.

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Are the lenders at fault?

Every day a read some news with biased reporting or hear people who are so biased about people, views, it irritates me no end..like there was a news today about a couple who took 20 lakhs loan for IVF, unfortunately the husband died and when wife couldnt pay the loan she committed suicide,leaving the child an orphan, and they wrote..lenders were hounding her..Here they make it sound as if its a crime to ask back the money, but i want to ask why people take loan beyond their resources.And we must never sympathise with the people who dont pay their loan.The days of Shylock are gone, today when someone takes a loan, all facts should be considered..why he is taking loan, and how are they going to repay it..what is their contingency plan?
Here i find the couple at fault for many things..

First they should havent taken a loan so big, that they couldnt pay..

Secondly if only husband was working, they should have thought of something like this..

And if in spite of that , some emergency happens like it did, woman should have struggled, leaving her child orphan is not the way..

And whatever ,we cant always blame  circumstances or lenders or somebody else..its time we take responsibility for our actions.

Sunday, June 14, 2015

DIL DHADAKNE DO

I saw Dil Dhadakne DO..this week. Its the story of Mehra family..a wealthy family where marriages are made as business transactions and not for love.They want son to take interest in family business, though he is least interested and good whereas daughter who shows her mantle as a good business woman, she is not given preference, because according to them daughters are supposed to be married off and done.Happiness here means ...shopping,husband not  raising a hand on wife and such things not love in spouses.what love has to do with marriage and divorce is a bad word even if there is no love and respect between spouse, even if wife is unhappy and husband is cheating.All these emotions are shown thru  a wealthy family where they take their friends on a cruise for celebrating 30 yrs of marriage...a marriage which is so fake..

I just loved Ranvir in this movie..he is so lovable and done the excellent job in his role of kabir..so cute, innocent looking and then so protective towards his sister.
Anil Kapoor , Farhan Akhtar,Priyanka chopra, Shefaali shah, Riddhima sud , parmeet Sethi and all the assembled cast is just so perfect and done well.
They didnt need Anushka to show as Ranvir.s love interest, she was not required there, and movie gets slow and boring with her track...

If you take out Ranvir Anushka's love story part, movie is very interesting and worth a watch.

Sunday, June 7, 2015

Tenant tantrums..

Last 8 days i was in Hyderabad looking for a tenant.Normally people think that landlords are the privileged lot, but I differ here, ..In my opinions landlords put their hard money in apt, and then run around for pittance, and live in stress.

When people see the house they go like this..first the person who is going to live see it..if he likes then he will show his wife, then his parents will see and approve and then inlaws also want to check..helloooo.... you are not looking for a prospective bride or groom..

Sometimes men say.I like the house but my wife is very finicky, I will send her the pics then let you know..

Other one says..everything is fine..please finalise it tomorrow...and then tomorrow, he wants his brother to see and approve..

They want to check vastu..facing sides, then location, then construction, amenities..what not..it looks like that they want to fulfill all their wishes with rented house only..

Then there are good days and bad days to have negotiations..

One person almost finalises everything then next days asks me..if my wife doesnt get transferred here then I will go back in two months so...why didnt he tell me this before finalising?

There was this old man who came to see for his son, then brought his son, then his daughter inlaw and he kept apprising me how highly placed are his daughter.inlaws relatives.. and he will be a good tenant then even his Son.s FIL comes and meet me and asks hundred questions..when they are satisfied they take it, and I come back to Chennai..Lo..within 20 days I get a call from his wife that his MIL doesnt want to live in that upper storey and they have to vacate it...and his husband is all non cooperative to me and doesnt want to pay the one month notice period even..good tenant?

continued in the next post....

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

40 YEARS OF MARRIAGE

Last week I competed 40 years of my marriage and when I introspected I realised that i have come a long way in my life. When i got married i was a very naive girl of 18 , not very worldly wise, from a small town, so had no exposure to anything except academics.I learned a lot on the way...Today i want to share my observations , experiences and inferences...

The best virtue in life is to be grateful and specially for the people who love you. Because we are free to love whosoever we want but getting love in return is not guaranteed, if we get it its a blessing of god,so we should never take such people for granted..rather treasure them.

We must never forget those who did something for us...either we shouldnt take help, hospitality or anything from anybody(which may not be possible)..but if we accept that ,we should be grateful for life..help in need can never be repaid.

In our culture , to be happy in life, its better for the girls to have alignment more with inlaws...it doesnt mean we cant  look after our parents and family..NO we should be there in their hour of need,physically and financially both ..but for all other day to day purposes, we should be on one side whole heartedly, otherwise we become like a coalition government where nothing works, nobody is happy.Equality doesnt  work this way.

Before marrying one should think hundred times about everything..candidates should talk about everything.expectations from marriage, duties and responsibilities,.finance handling , housekeeping, children upbringing and parents everything, but after marriage dont go back on your promises....

Today with my children settled I am in a happy space..and grateful to god for my health,finance and a good husband:)....But I have worked hard for all this..I have never shirked from my duties whether it was for my siblings or my children or my inlaws..,,My MIL still is with me only and  HAPPILY...I never got the return from the people whom i cared for ,but instead God gave me so many things that I have no complaints..It makes me believe in karma very strongly.


Friday, May 22, 2015

DEVOTION OF SUSPECT X... Keigo Higashino

DEVOTION OF SUSPECT X... KEIGO HIGASHINO
This is a crime thriller, but one of its own kind.A genius mathematician  sees a sales woman at a restaurant and starts liking her..they are neighbours too.That woman is harassed by her ex husband and at one such time he is killed by her daughter. After that how that neighbour helps her makes the story. The conversations between this mathematician and his Physics friend are very thought provoking..so many insights into the maths and once he tells a student why math should be studied..
All in all very very good book worth a read..


MANY CONDITIONS OF LOVE..FARHAD JAMA
Very interesting book..its about a middle class Muslim family settled in Vizag.Father is running a matrimonial agency and son is an idealistic civil engineer.In between there are many side stories about father,s employee Aruna, and many agencies customers etc.Its so enjoyable to read about day to day normal life and people.s travails...About BT cotton seed, farmers plights, widows condition in society ..like that...I liked it.


The Power..Rhonda Byrne
I read her Secret and liked it so got this one. Initially its good to read and i agree to this point also that power lies in our thoughts and feelings and they bring to us whatever we imagine. But it seems to me that writer goes on and on repeating the same thing and sometimes without any logic.So it becomes boring..

Sunday, May 17, 2015

Do the clothes make a man?

As Vivekananda said that  in western culture may be clothes make a man but in our culture character makes a man..And how i agree to this....

Today whenever i see the people starting kid's fashion zone or designer clothes or something like that I really feel sad that they are going for something so artificial and giving the children wrong direction

So many people, even my hubby says.if we can afford why not?..so doest everything comes down  to affordability/..Not according to me..for children, its about giving them a right perspective in life, emphasis on the right things and secondly there is a time for everything.Once they become adult they may decide in which direction they want to go, but in their childhood it becomes important to teach  them sensitivity to the environment and society,and value of good morals Take care of their academics and sports and hobbies.

I dont mean to say that we dont need good clothes or when parents themselves are decked up in labels, why should the children be left out?It is because children out grow the clothes very fast and secondly they feel that clothes are more important than anything else, because they are too young to understand the dynamics of life..

A person will always admire and respect  Narayan Murthy irrespective of his clothes...Clothes can bring appreciation and envy, but not the respect to anyone. Thats the reason i feel that we should give more importance to.. what we do than what we wear..

Now many people will say why cant we have both....so we can if we have become an icon for our kids..with our morals and value..It should be in that order only..first character then clothes, not the vice versa.

what is your take?


Sunday, May 10, 2015

Story

Arey! Mr. Sharma hasnt come today..said Mr. srivastav to other friends..they were all retired people who used to gather in the evening in the park. Just then they saw Mr. Sharma coming..today he seemed very happy and had a spring in his gait. He told his friends  that just now he had got the phone from his son that he was coming home for two weeks.
Sharmaji was a middle class man, and he had a dream that once his son grows up, and gets settled, he(sharma) would sit in the balcony in the morning, with his wife and drink tea, read newspaper free of all responsibilities. But his son decided to go abroad..now he was coming for a few weeks...so Mr. sharma thought that he can fulfill his dream for atleast 2 weeks, his wife thought..my legs would get some rest now..DIL will look after the house, I will play with the children and enjoy their company.

There his son and family were thinking about their India trip, son said..I am so tired of all these deadlines and all the work, I am going home,and relax, papa is there , I will ask him to complete some of my paper work also. Wife said..I am so fed up of cooking all the time and taking care of the children..I will just sit there..mom can look after the kids and cooking..

When dreams clash..everything goes down..kya hona tha, son went back earlier than planned..parents were totally dissappointed..nobody remained happy.

This is the synopsis of a story i read in a magazine and thought of it..why it happens?..Its always the wrong expectations.

Lets take the parents first..They always postpone their life for children,instead children should be a part of their life, not life  itself..If they need help they must employ a domestic help..may be cut some other expenses but spend on getting help..They must save for their retirement, instead of providing only for the children,nothing for their old age.

For the children..when they go home, they are grown ups and their parents have grown old now, so instead of taking help, they should try to help them. For relaxing they must take another holiday...on their own.

Friday, May 8, 2015

some quotes

The less you respond to rude,critical,argumentative people.
the more peaceful your life would be.
Mandy Hale


To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children.; 
to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
 to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a little better; 
whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; 
to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. 
This is the meaning of success.
Ralph Waldo Emerson



Whatever we perceive in the world around us 
tends to reflect who we are 
and what we care about most deeply, 
as in the old saying,
 "When a thief sees a saint, all he sees are his pockets."
Robert Frager
​​

We have not inherited the earth from our ancestors, 
We have only borrowed it from our children
unknown.

Admiration and familiarity are strangers. 
George Sand


Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone you don't
Earl Wilson

In what you say of another, 
apply the test of kindness, necessity and truth,
 and let nothing pass your lips without a 2/3 majority. 
Liz Armbruster

In matters of conscience, first thoughts are best. 
In matters of prudence, last thoughts are best.
Robert Hall



Another way of looking at this: Don't feel bad if
people remember you only when they need you.
Feel privileged that you are like a candle that
comes to their mind when there is darkness.
 Unknown

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Memory keeper,s daughter..Kim Edwards

I read it last week..very poignant story.Doctor Henry had a very difficult childhood,his sister was mentally retarded and died at the age of 12 and his mother was heartbroken . So when his wife gives birth to twins, one Son and one daughter, and daughter has down syndrome, he gives her away thinking that such child will make her wife miserable.But life is nothing if its not so predictable. That one deed breaks his family and his life completely.
Interesting book

King and Maxwell....David baldacci
His books are so thick but such racy thrillers that i totally enjoy reading as something light.

Recently I saw Bang Bang..at some places its scene by scene copy of Knight and day.It starts very slowly and picks later on.Music is forgettable, only thing worth watching are stunts by Hritik..specially the water ones..

Monday, April 27, 2015

Hypocricy

With time everything changes. Earlier most of the people used to have a complex or feeling about something lacking in them..even if they did good to everyone, they thought they were not able to do it fully, they could have done better or more. But today their is excess in everything..most of the people I meet , think and say..
I am the best..
I go all out to help everybody.
People take advantage of me( but hello when everybody is being taken advantage, where are the people who take it:)
I am very honest in my dealings..whereas they may not be honest to their family even.


I felt very strange when a woman who didnt want her inlaws to stay with her and was totally out of her mind when they stayed with her for 6 months, telling me . this when it was earthquake there..I ask them so much that stay with us you are old,cant manage on your own.. but they dont want to...

Then someone hates corruption and then tells me that his father is very well off because he was an engineer in PWD...connect the dots:)

Then a totally biased and unfair person saying..I will teach my child to be fair in everything..hey.how can or will you teach that when you yourself are not?

A totally lazy person telling me that she/he is a cleanliness freak.

I have hundreds of statements like this .told me by hypocritical people.and I fail to understand why people lie so much or put up a facade? Does anybody gets fooled by this? I never do.




Friday, April 24, 2015

Atrue incient

It must be 1989, I was running a departmental store, and suppliers used to come to me, sometimes for the known products and sometimes with a new one. One day a supplier came to me and said-------
I supply the washing soap 555 and a new product, which is like a Tinopal but used mostly in industries, we are manufacturing it our selves.
and he showed me samples of some yellow powder in plain polythene packets.
In the mean time a customer came and bought a few things and then he happened to see those pockets. He asked me whether I sold those packets, because in his factory they need bulk quantity of that and in case i had them, he would certainly prefer to take it from me.
I was so happy and smiling from ear to ear , thinking-see, i got such a good opportunity inbusiness, I will take order from him and supply from that.
Without thinking any more I asked the supplier to give me 200 packets of those, he had with him some around 100 , he left those there and asked for the payment. Now I always used to do the payments next week--that is a week credit, so I told him that. Then he said would i mind if instead of cash he take some products my shop. LOL, My happiness increased, as I got some more sale(ham to aur khush aur bikri ho rahi ha........ )
And notice that he started with--he supplies 555--a known brand-----but all this time neither he took the order for that nor I noticed that.That was his ploy for getting a good g=credential in my mind.
Now u will say then...........what happened..................hona kya tha, he dissappeared neverto show his face.:(
This is life my dear, which teaches you at every step. Now its upto u how u learn. Nothing happens without a reason.

Monday, April 20, 2015

Profile pics

Today When i was going thru whats app and then later on facebook, something dawned on me..On the profile pics the preferences are quite revealing like..

Most of the feminine gender puts herself first in the pic, then her children, then parents and siblings...last but almost never husband...
None of them ever record any presence of inlaws in their life.(except when they are bad,to them.)whether they visit, they make any trip with them whatever, just block them out...no mention or pic of them even on bdays anniversaries ever...

For their parents they go on about everything..


Now...the male chauvinistic men:)..as we love to call them...They put first their wives, then wife and children and last theirs only pic..but never parents...(may be it will make them feel sissy or less macho .

And then i hear most of the girls complaining that their husbands are so obedient to their parents, they cant see beyond them..all that...

I am not saying that FB and Whats app can define a person, NO, but most of our actions involuntarily show our thinking and personality..

These are just my observations, not a slur on anybody..what is your opinion..tell me..

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Half girl friend...Chetan Bhagat

This is the story of Madhav Jha..Bihari boy who gets admission in St. Stephen through sports quota, he is a basketball player and a girl Riya Somani..who is ultra wealthy, basketball player and extremely beautiful too.They meet, boy falls in love, girl gets married to a NRI and then divorces and comeback, they meet again, then she vanishes again.but true love of the boy ultimately finds her and they live happily ever after.
Infact a very simple story, but told in a very interesting way, the characters are so real, the writer has gone to their mind so well, what a simple boy who doesnt know English thinks and how he reaction, everything is superb..
And then the love of Madhav Jha is so endearing to a romantic like me, wish there were more boys like him and girls like Riya who give more importance to people than money.
Adorable love story!

EVERYONE WORTH KNOWING..Lauren Weisberger
This is the story of Bettina who takes up a job in event management company and  her personal and professional life are mixed.Initially she finds the job interesting as it pays her to party and see the upper circle of New york but later on job completely takes over her life.
Interesting..

CUCKOLD..KIRAN NAGARKAR
This is the story of Maharajkumar and his life as a prince,complexities of king's lives,betrayals,politics and debauchery everything is there.I dont know whether its inspired or a true story of Rajput maharajas and their lives..just ok..nothing much..

Saturday, April 11, 2015

Caring

Last week I went to Hyderabad and there I spent lot of time sitting and observing people.There was this person, I thought of him as very self centred and non caring type, then one day i saw that an old lady needed help in sitting on pillion with her daughter, and he was all there to help and bring a stool and all that. This was totally a different side of him, and then I started thinking why is he caring to some and callous to others....I realised that most of the people are good to only those they know or find some similarity with them, here the person wasnt very qualified, and he felt an affinity with that lady because she spoke his language.

I have seen this happening most of the time..so many times just knowing the language brings you to the inner circle.and it happens in most of the states in India..I have lived in Bengal, Maharashtra and south..And i wonder why are we like that, why cant we be the same to everyone, even unknown people..isnt that the real kindness?..Why we have the love and compassion only for our own people whether they are related by blood or region or language?

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Parents

There are three types of parents in this world.
  1. This type was more prevalent in earlier generations. Here the most emphasis is on discipline and hierarchy. Parents decide everything about the children from the day they are born, from their name to their hobbies(if at all they are required), their carrier choices( sometimes the choice is their own longing for a carrier which they could not do for any reason and now they want their offspring's to fulfil that desire) to the selection of their life partner and after that their life style. Parent's word is the god's command, and if someone dares to air his opinion even,he/she is persona nongrata, in other words ungrateful child. For them individuality,personal identity are all alien terms.
consequences---- here the children, though they are intelligent but they grow into mostly introverts, with their perceptions quite mixed without any clarity of thoughts, they are principled outwardly as they are brought up with an iron hand, but susceptible to vices,live a life with a medium rate of success and satisfaction, never explore their full potential,always need security in life and they wouldnt make many people happy with their passive and melancholy demeanour.

2----Second type parents are those who bring up their children with a little democracy. Here children are taught the value of money, ethics and discipline from the beginning by the parents by way of their own behaviour and children are given choices with the knowledge of pros and cons of every situation.When they are young they must listen to the parents but be told the reasoning of everything, as they grow, they are given the choices and right to selection, but they must be prepared to face the consequences of their decisions. In the childhood parents are strict regarding their studies, health and character,but lenient where it involves their hobbies and free time.They give them the roots of unstinted support and freedom to their wings to fly higher and higher.
--These are the ideal parents( do they exist? ), and their progeny is well grounded,principled,respecting and caring for their parents and in general quite successful in their personal and professional lives. They will never turn to any vices whatever the temptation as their values will always save them, they are good human beings and a blessing to everyone.

3---The third type of parents are total freedom freaks, they also love their children a lot and give them full freedom from the time they are born, without any firm guidance.They fulfil the needs of the children, for the rest they believe in everybody living his/her own life.neither they are themselves disciplined, nor they teach it to their children, each to his own.They forget that freedom with itself brings a lot of responsibilities without which we cant have a cohesive society
Consequences---here a lot depends on the children, they may be good or bad, successful or unsuccessful, but they are bohemian in their lifestyle,non conforming to the traditions or conforming when it suits them,in disciplined life brings them lot of dissatisfaction in regard to their health and relationships.Their lifestyle cant bring happiness to others also.
I believe, as Zibran has said---children come from you but they are not your property, give them life,not ur thoughts
and man is the arch in the hand of god ( the archer ) , and children are the arrows, the more the arch bends, the faster and far away the arrow goes.

There is one more type..today..most of the parents want to give their children more and more material things, they see the price tag more than quality..its always keeping up with the Joneses, so little ones are introduced to brands and wants, they dont know the value of money or people....They want their children to go to expensive schools, not because they want better education, but because it has better facilities...If child needs one thing, they give ten..somewhere such parents are fulfilling their own unfulfilled desires of coveting things....their children are pampered lot who want everything at their tips.

Now such children will not have a high self esteem when they grow up, because its tied with things..material possessions only make them feel successful...

The ideal situation is to ---teach the children values in their childhood and make them follow them with a discipline, and then give them freedom with a guidance when they grow-up, nurture their individuality and then sit back and enjoy -watching them fly-soaring heights.But for all this parents need to discipline themselves first..which is next to impossible today.

Saturday, March 21, 2015

THE GOD IS A GAMER..RAVI SUBRAMANIYAM

This writer is writing sequels in a real sense where the characters are same and story begins where the last one ended.The story is about Bitcoins, ATM heists, bank frauds, gaming and then people who are not what they seem to be.Money laundering of politicians, ambitions of bank officials, politicians colorful life and its consequences, even murder, everything is woven beautifully in the story. Thanks to this novel I came to know a little bit about bit coins also.
Quite an interesting book...the only thing I didnt like was that though most of the people are in gray area , but some get their due, whereas others enjoy life.it may be true in real life, but here it becomes pessimistic.And though its writer's prerogative to build his characters, I would still say they write for the readers, because nobody writes for self only...so I hope in his next I find justice.

Now reading Mountain of light by..Indu Sunderesan.

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

NH 10

This movie is getting lot of appreciation and being called produced byAnushka, though in the credits there were four more producers.

The story is about a young couple Meera and Arjun who party hard, drink and smoke and both are working. Once Meera is on the road alone in her SUV and some ruffians  stalk her , tease her , break the window glass and all, she escapes somehow but when they go to file a complaint police officer is not very cooperative, instead asks Arjun why he lets her go alone at night.Why dont they get a weapon?

Then on Meera's Bday Arjun books a resort and they start their journey.On the way they stop on a dhaba to eat something, there a girl asks Meera to help her, her brother is going to kill her, Meera brushes her off, but then later both them see that 6 people are beating a young couple,when Arjun tries to ask them why, they slap him  also and forcibly  put the couple in vehicle and drive away.Now Arjun goes on a ego trip and wants to teach them a lesson , though Meera insists him to leave but he doesnt listen and follows them to the jungle and there watches them brutally killing the couple, they are horrified and now its chase between them and this pair..Police also supports the criminals who are killing their own sister because she wanted to marry a person of same gotra.When Arjun is wounded, meera goes to get help to the village sarpanch(Deepti Naval) and there she comes to know that she only ordered the murder..When Arjun dies of his wounds..Meera goes berserk, goes back to the village and kills all of them..

One thing is very clear that honor killing is not a gender issue..as the boy is also killed...and women also kill..they are equally brutal,..sarpanch, though a woman, still orders the killing of her daughter and her husband, and maltreat her daughter.in law and giver her no respect as a human being.

The movie is issue based but lacks the basic requirement of the movie.. entertainment..its total violence, gore and cruelty..When i want to come out of the hall I want to feel pleasant, but you come out feeling very sad and frustrated.Its all reality but still...

Secondly whenever a problem is tackled, I think they should show some solution too..it may not be very credible or easily possible..but the light should be there....

Hero.Neil Bhopalan is a dishy dude.a handsome version of Randeep hooda, I liked him..Anushka Sharma is also good, rest of the cast also very suitable...

Read somewhere that its inspired (copied) from  Eden Lake




Monday, March 16, 2015

Munich

I am back home and full of lethargy.today i just wanted to start writing and when I couldnt sort out my though then thought of writing a few lines about Munich, as this is one one new place I saw in this trip.

Its a beautiful city and i found it very cheap coming from the Zurich:). Its a three and half hour drive from Zurich. So we stayed at Hilton..very near to the centre of Munich Marianne Platz. Most of the European countries have a centre where everything converges..shops and restaurants and some monuments also..We found so many Indian restaurants and very friendly to the pocket, though I feel some were run by Pakistanis, and can you imagine, they sell arhar daal as daal makhaani and its selling like hot cakes. They were always full of everyone but Indians.
In front of the hotel only one can find all cuisines..thai, mexican,italian, Indian all.

Then next day we planned to go to BMW Museums and Sea aquarium. Actually all the beautiful parks and open spaces were covered with snow, we could see only indoors.Sea aquarium was a delight to see and outside there was a lake and beautiful scenery with so many flamingos.Saw the museum, but i am not a technical person:)

For shopping its a paradise, everything was good and affordable.

Its a very big city with lot of historical buildings and I loved having the drive thru the city and then in the evening it was so beautiful to walk around the designer shops and restaurants.


Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Redmond

How was you New Year?.. We took some pizzas, cake, juice ,eggs and milk etc to one shelter here, and I was surprised to see the conditions..it was as good as hotel..very neat and clean and furnished well, since my children go there regularly, the person there showed me the place very nicely, I felt so happy and wished we had something like that in India too..there are so many temples and churches with enough resources...

In Redmond there are so many Indian restaurants and shops that one can get anything and everything..even better than Chennai:)..and many more home food type joints are opening and very reasonably priced..so much so that nobody needs to do cooking for saving ..only they need to cook if they want to...and thats the way it should be...

We went to see lighting at Belleveue botanical garden..it was outstanding..all the lighting was done with volunteer work, they had made beautiful water falls, animals and flower beds , stars all with lights.it was illuminating and ticket was only paltry 5 $/ per person...it was so colorful and beautiful..