Thursday, April 13, 2017

parents and responsibilities

Whenever I see the posts on old parents, old age homes and the people's comment..he is a good son, or he is a bad son...all being judgmental without even knowing the circumstances and problems of the young people....I feel like saying something with real experience...
I want to ask all the young girls who become idealistic..how many of them are ready to live with their in laws and look after them..inlaws who are financially dependent on you?..live with them life long...with respect and care?
Not many will be amiable to do so..Looking after parents means sharing your money,time, and all other resources, making changes in your life style and having many restrictions and sometimes forgoing your dreams too or changing their direction.
Its so easy to brand the children specially sons,..... but I know the pains and travails of the children who do so..because I have been doing it..and here are inlaws who were not even good to the same DILs and did all they could to make their life uncomfortable and miserable, but when their time comes they and the world with them wants the sons to look after them, pamper them etc etc..why? and make the children feel guilty..
I refuse to have such beliefs..I have been looking after my MIL even now when we ourselves are senior citizens, though she was never good to me but I take care of her to the best of my capabilities because thats what is taught to us....but today I resent her presence in my life because I am at the fag end of life and cant wait to live it..and I refuse to feel guilty for such feelings...
Its the duty of parents also to see that they dont misbehave with the girls they are to live later on...secondly they should always maintain one place where they can retreat for some time, it will rejuvenate both them and children...Dependent parents should also learn to adjust...and whatever they can, they should do to bring comfort to their children.They shouldnt always think about themselves only..
Many parents who are not financially sound will say , when we have nothing what can we do..but money is not the only thing you can give, you have a heart..make it loving, care for your children..dil se...and help them with their work..make a place in their heart...but nobody will do that, they want to be accepted for what they are, but want children to change for them..
Wherever parents are wealthy,they should never give all the wealth to their children..no.. keep it with you, make a will....let them make their life on their own...they will learn the values in life...
Its all in the mind..once you start thinking positively,you can make your life yourself...whether its parents or children..and I dont ever want anyone to stop living because of me....If I am lacking in physical strength or financial independence, the repercussions should be 80% on me and 20% on children,not the vice versa...If I am physically semi independent or dependent, and have money I must keep a care giver to look after me and my personal idiosyncrasies , and If I cant afford,I must accept the situation and make peace..same for finances, if I am financially dependent, I must learn not to demand anything, or very little and the same set of values go for children and everyone...Its called living life to the best of your capabilities.....

Monday, April 3, 2017

RIGHT YA WRONG

I have been thinking for a long time, what is right?
To reach the aim or target , by any ways or
The ways we follow are more important than the end?
Some people say-there is no harm in a little twisting here or there if our intentions are good and our ultimate aim is for the benefit of may be society or country or mankind whatever it is.But then like they say--chori to chori ha--one cant give it any other name.and it will always leave its footprints on your mind.
There are so many people who justify corruption by less paid people, but i dont agree with that, because in a world there would be many people earning more and many less, earnings dont decide the morality of a person.
Personally i think means are more important than the end, we must choose the right path and it will always take us to a good end,may not be the pinnacle of success , but the satisfaction of the journey will certainly outweigh that.Journey is more important than the manjil(end).Intentions only make us feel good......like may times we say..but my intentions were not like that ,so what.., but they dont affect anything else, its only our deed which bring results. and any unfair mean for a righteous cause also will certainly somewhere bring unfairness.
What do you think?