Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Another Tag

Amrita gave me the Honest Scrap award for the "openness that shines through my pages". and this is one award, where I atleast feel a little bit worthy of:)

Now the tough part is this award comes with a tag in which one has to mention 10 facts which others may or may not know. But since I am getting an award for openness, that means all my friends must be knowing everything about me, as it is, I am not shy in writing about me, still let us see what i can come up with....

1.When i started blogging, I told everyone in my family about it and now that is one part I am thinking..whether it has done good or bad...may be both..but sometimes it stifles me..other's rules and regulations and expectations.

2.If I meet a needy person, I wouldnt hesitate to shell out a hundred, but if an autowalla demands to keep the change even( a few ruppess) I feel irritated:)

3.I never feel the strain of work if Imy favourite songs are playing in the background.

4.I am a die hard bollywood addict, but more of a different kind..if I ever catch the name of Shabana azmi, girish karnad, om puri or Naseeruddin shah or amol palekar, faarukh sheikh...I would certainly watch that movie.

5.I never liked lunch dinners ever, more of a snack person, and my hubby is mor e of a proper lunch dinner type, so we used to be in trouble most of the times:)

6.Only regret I have in life is that I never did any professional course and since I was very good in studies and was getting admission also..just took everything very lightly.

7.I dont find any job or work below dignity,to medoing a job well is more important..an excellent peon is better than a lousy clerk, to me everything is good and I can do everything, but I hate it when anyone takes me for granted.

8.I dont like hypochondriacs....or even liars...I never make issues of minor health problems,I dont like other family members worrying about me unnecessarily, or even fussing me.and so I cant stand those people also who make a mountain out of a molehill.

9.Me a typcial..saggi..without any maliciousness at all, but very frank....neither I can be overly sweet if I dont mean to, nor I can be fake in my praise.

10. I have a problem that i try to be an agony aunt to everyone and want to see everyone happy..but since even god could not do it, so a mere mortal like me is nothing, and I feel sad.
And i would like to give this award to.....


I am sorry I havent been able to browse thru any blogs, and I am leaving to Lucknow for a month:)..on my vactions:)..but once there I will chk up everything.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010


In the last post and earlier also thru comments I feel that many children want to live with parents and many want to live nearby so that they can have the privacy also and they can look after the parents also..Here I would like to share with all the experiences of my two friends.

Both have four brothers all married and all four of them live together in a big house with parents.One in Delhi and one in Pune. i am going to tell you how they mange so beautifully...the biggest point of strife is finance..so here in the beginning of every month all four brother contribute the same amount to the family kitty..( irrespective of whether their wife is earning or housewife)..this money is given to parents..they run the house with the servant.....this kitty is meant for rent,electricity, servant,food etc only...personal expenses are their own...be it parties, eating out, clothes or children's education.

Now the second part is work..and here also they have good distribution..they have servant for all the work..but two DILs look after the serving of breakfast and two for dinner( as four of them are working so these are main two times).

Now look at the advantages.....

Since they are living together, these brothers have saved a lot of money which will come handy in future and presently also they have enough to splurge.

They dont have to maintain separate drawing room dining room etc.

They can share the servant expenses .

Food when bought in bulk comes much cheaper.

Their house is safe and whenever they want to go on vacations they can go freely.

Children get the company of cousins and grand parents.

Parents never feel lonely.

and whenever somebody is sick, there are so many people to look after them.

And all their personal decisions are their own..like where to educate the children or anything else, none has either the time or inclination to impose the choice on the other.

and yes may be they have to make certain adjustments..like in food, may not be everyday of their own choice, as every body's taste has to be considered, and certain discipline but pros outnumber the cons...

But yes before living jointly one must discuss every point frankly and clearly to make the life easier, Once my husband lived in France sharing his flat with a friend and my H is very shy in matter of finance, so his friend took a jolly ride..he lived there with his wife and two kids and my husband all alone but they shared everything fifty fifty, and whatever in the house was damaged by his children..like mattresses etc( their landlords are very finicky, they just replace everything and deduct the money from your security), that all also was shared, which may be right, but I felt unfair, so its better to be clear about everything

I am leaving for Hyderabad today for a week, may be I will go to cyber cafe and may be not, so please dont abandon me:)

Friday, March 19, 2010


Yesterday my husband was talking to my son and then he told me that this time when my son got his BP checked up, it was on the borderline, and I just felt as if my heart is sinking, cant explain the feeling even and I wished and prayed to god that both my children should remain healthy and shouldnt catch any of these lifestyle diseases atleast till 50..though its fool hardy to even think like that..but thats the way my mind works, but a realisation bigger than this dawned on me..how my mother must be suffering watching his children having all these health problems. It is truly said that we dont really feel anything till we ourselves face it.

If somebody hurts me, my mom cries for hours together the same way when she herself is hurt, whenever I fall sick she is so much worried and we keep telling her to take it easy and not be so tense all the time, but I realise now how it feels.My mother has taken so much of trash from all of us siblings and still she loves us so much..today i felt really humbled .Just the other day I was reading.UNACUSTOMED EARTH BY jHUMPA LAHIRI..and there one protagonist .an old father says...this idea of bringing children in this world is flawed from the very beginning....and I laughed at his cynical ways.But this is true that thru children only one faces the most of happiness and worst of miseries. Till they are 15 years old they they are total delight and bring happiness along with lot of work in the house,and from there starts a long journey of conflicts woven in happiness....and a swinging and see sawing of emotions.......and then one faces both..stress and pleasure.....hope and distress....kind of balance in all emotions...good and bad both.

I remember that when I got married and got away to Ranchi.a beautiful place but so far away from my home town in the days when one travelled by train only , it was26 hrs journey,and since I came from a traditional family where I was taught that girls go away after marriage to their home:).and I was so happy in my married life with my husband that I never thought my mother will be missing me and in those days there were no phones, only letters...so when i didnt plan a visit even after 7 months my parents visited me:)....I only realised the feeling when my daughter got married and I felt so desolate and lonely without her and went thru the feelings of being deserted:)

Some modern youths think that even animals leave their children then why humans dont..but I will say precisely that..because we are humans, not animals..we have feelings, sensibilities, a civilisation.....and its not only young people who want to be liberated, many old also want the freedom and would love to have it.

Sunday, March 14, 2010



This weekend we went to Taj Fisherman's cove for a overnight stay.What a beautiful place it is!..we had a villa on the sea side, with a beautiful scenery..tall coconut trees swaying.hammock and rocking chairs with lots of greenery and many restaurants.And Taj's hospitality is something to be seen..they have so many people all around for safety and help and they assist you in everything with a smile.
Their north Indian vegetarian food was delicious and they had a sea side see food restaurant..a delight for non vegetarians, but for me the smell emanating was a put off.and there was AN UPPER DECK ..restaurant for Mediterranean cusine

We tried the spas also..it was Ok..I dont think in luxurious place we can think of anything which is value for money, and me being a VFM person found it Ok, not very good.

And they have their own private beach with life guards and all..so all in all a very good place to relax and enjoy and worth a visit. MY son booked it for us, so we went otherwise my husband would have never taken a leave.being workalcohalic:)

Sunday, March 7, 2010


I read in my friend's post about attention..that in life some people get lot of attention..and I thought of reasons.... may be because they are privileged in some way..like more wanted, more accomplished or got god's bounty in plenty..whatever the reason, but they are the centre of attraction, but some people go through life without getting any lime light, so what difference does it bring into their personality.

Most of the time I have seen that those who get lot of attention become self seekers and their lives are always centred around themselves..what they like, what they dont, what is good what is not..according to them only...They normally have some blinkers on all the time and see the world and things the way they want to see...but they are mostly successful in their professions as they have that aggressiveness about them which is so necessary to get ahead and helps them in reaching their goals.

Whereas those who dont get that extra attention, are most of the time not very successful in their professions, but excellent in their personal lives, as they have a selfless streak in them,they always think of others before them..they devote more time for people than focusing on getting things and success, that urge to excel is not there so much.

Now here the definition of success .I take in traditional way where capacity of earning and power define success, though to me success means fulfilling your dreams along with your family.
Most of the time people say..forget your past but I say...If you carry along your past with you and then organise future..its better because it is past which works like a mirror to us.( अपने अतीत को साथ ले कर ही भविष्य बनाया जा सकता हा, अतीत ही तो हमें अपनी जुडो से जोड़ता हा नहीं तो हम हवा मे लटक जायेंगे)

What do you think?

Friday, March 5, 2010


RANN...I saw many other movies too, but for this i was waiting a lot and so wanted to give you my point of view...This is a tightly scripted movie and fast edited, so one never gets bored or has much time to think and most of the actors are of good caliber so one enjoys them but rest is history..so many things are so cliche....and one has seen all that many times.what i didn't like is...

A person like Amitabh bacchan who is so revered that his words are like law and his son doesnt take much time in convincing him in a fraud.

Why in all movies the show that a principled person is never liked by his son or family? why?

Why all the children of a principled person are so money driven?

Jai fails because his own editor is cheating..passing his ideas to rival channel, but he never suspects...one doesnt expect top people to behave like that, it was more natural in Corporate, where it comes out in the open..today there are so many detective firms and all..it was most jarring thing to watch..where crores are concerned, people are not fools.

The best scene I liked is..where Rajpal yadav takes the interview of Paresh Rawal..its hilarious, but so true also..this is the way most channels behave.

And please why show lovely girls like Neetu Chandra taking so much of abuse from a person like Jai..for my life I couldnt understand why she loves him, either they should have developed the plot or...abolished her part.

It was ridiculous to see Simone leaving her husband after he was exposed..come on, dont tell me that a wife doesnt know her husband unless any channel shows it?

And the last straw was the suicide of Jai...it was like giving punishment to Vijay Harshwardhan(Amitabh) for being honest.

But the last speech from a media baron who has ethics was worth listening to and worth every minute and word......

and with the characters of politician, media and businessman, one could identify, as we have many like them.

Paa...I saw paa and this is one oft he finest movie I have seen recently...so much of finer sensibilities and feelings here...everything is so good..be it Auro or Vidya or Abhishek or Arundhati or Paresh Rawal or the school children, the best scenes are...
Where Vidya tells her mother that she hasnt hidden anything and when in the end she shakes hand with Abhishek with an urgency, so much like a mother, infact Vidya is so good through out the movie, I liked her sarees also, so much like my choice..I dont like those chiffons of Kjo's.
Then that schoold friend of Auro talking about his father:)
Auro is a complete delight in every scene.
Abhishek is also done very well with his restrained acting, he could bring out my tears which the hamming of SRK in kal ho na ho couldnt.
This movie is so good that I didnt mind if..
MP is such a good and patient politician(so rare)
School and children are so good with Auro( another rarity)
For its coincidence of MP liking Auro's project only.
Everything becomes secondary if the basic is so apealing

All in all a must watch for everyone and a big credit goes to Balki for giving us some fine moments.

Yesterday i saw Kurbaan.....movie on off repeated theme.but many things dont gel here..
first they opened the secret of Saif being a terrorist very soon, and movie became very morbid,

and then even US Police is shown to be so stupid whereas I have heard that their reaction time is very fast.

The way Vivek Oberoi goes about everything without any assistance and preparation..it is so filmy and looses the feel of authenticity completely,

And in then unnecessarily they have shown Saif a caring person..there was no need to make his character like that..spoiled the end even.

Only good thing about the movie is..its locales, Saif and Kareena and a little cameo of Diya Mirja.....but after this movie, people will trust muslims a little more less than they do now...and this is the message which shouldnt come out of any movie.

Gulal..I was waiting for this movie to come on Tv and today it was there at 8 in the morning and still I saw this....it has lot of things..Rajputana separatist movement,ragging, student politics, many stories woven together,..but the way people kill and get away, makes a mockery of our country..what I liked about the movie is..its uniqueness..good songs, and Kay kay menon..he is one of my favourite actor and then Deepak Dobriyal, he is fabulous, abhimanyu Singh, Piyush Mishra, Jyoti Dogra( I have been watching her since TV started and she looks the same), Mahi gill are all good but i despise characters like that of .....

Rajsingh Chaudhary.. initially a coward and then becomes so voilent.

Adiya srivastava..the illegitimate son of His Highness..he has no qualms in shooting his step brother and then he is looking for justice....and wherever there is any case of mistresses, why only man is held responsible, wasnt his mother equally responsible for his status?..and then he doesnt hesitate even in serving his sister to Dukey for his own career.

The last straw was that bad people won.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

My name is not Khan, I am Mr Kaul

My name is not Khan, I am Mr Kaul

Tarun Vijay, 22 December 2009, 08:55 AM IST

I am not Khan. My name bears a different set of four letters: K A U L. Kaul. As those who know Indian names would understand I happened to be born in a family which was called Hindu by others. Hence, we were sure, we would never get a friend like KJ to make a movie on our humiliations, and the contemptuous and forced exile from our homeland. It's not fashionable. It's fashionable to get a Khan as a friend and portray his agony and pains and sufferings when he is asked by a US private to take off his shoes and show his socks. Natural and quite justifiable that Khan must feel insulted and enraged. Enough Masala to make a movie.

But unfortunately I am a Kaul. I am not a Khan.

Hence when my sisters and mothers were raped and killed, when six-year-old Seema was witness to the brutal slaughtering of her brother, mother and father with a butcher's knife by a Khan, nobody ever came to make a movie on my agony, pain and anguish, and tears.

No KJ would make a movie on Kashmiri Hindus. Because we are not Khans.

We are Kauls.

When we look at our own selves as Kauls, we also see a macabre dance of leaders who people Parliament. Some of them were really concerned about us. They got the bungalows and acres of greenery and had their portraits were worshipped by the gullible devotees of patriotism.

They made reservations in schools and colleges for us. In many many other states. But never did they try that we go back to our homes. They have other priorities and 'love your jihadi neighborhood' programmes. They get flabbier and flabbier with the passing of each year, sit on sacks of sermons; issue instructions to live simply and follow moral principles delivered by ancestors and kept in documents treated with time-tested preservatives.

They could play with me because my name is Kaul. And not Mr Khan. I saw the trailer to this fabulous movie, which must do good business at the box office.

There was not even a hint that terror is bad and it is worse if it is perpetuated in the name of a religion that means Peace. Peace be upon all its followers and all other the creatures too.

So you make a movie on the humiliation of taking off shoes to a foreign police force which has decided not to allow another 9/11.

The humiliation of taking off the shoes and the urge to show that you are innocent is really too deep. But what about the humiliation of leaving your home and hearth and the world and the relatives and wife and mother and father? And being forced to live in shabby tents, at the mercy of nincompoop leaders encashing your misery and bribe-seeking babus? And seeing your daughters growing up too sudden and finding no place to hide your shame?
No KJ would ever come forward to make a movie, a telling, spine-chilling narration on the celluloid, of five-year-old Seema, who saw her parents and brother being slaughtered by a butcher's knife in Doda. Because her dad was not Mr Khan. He was one Mr Kaul.

Sorry, Mr Kaul and your entire ilk. I can't help you.

It's not fashionable to side with those who are Kauls. And Rainas. And Bhatts. Dismissively called KPs. KPs means Kashmiri Pandits. They are a bunch of communalists. They were the agents of one Mr Jagmohan who planned their exodus so that Khans can be blamed falsely. In fact, a movie can be made on how these KPs conspired their own exile to give a bad name to the loving and affectionate Khan brothers of the valley.

To voice the woes of Kauls is sinful. The right course to get counted in the lists of the Prime Minister's banquets and the President's parties is to announce from the roof top: hey, men and ladies, I am Mr Khan.

The biggest apartheid the state observes is to exclude those who cry for Kauls, wear the colours of Ayodhya, love the wisdom of the civilisational heritage, dare to assert as Hindus in a land which is known as Hindustan too and struggle to live with dignity as Kauls. They are out and exiled. You can see any list of honours and invites to summits and late-evening gala parties to toast a new brand. All that the Kauls are allowed is a space at Jantar Mantar: shout, weep and go back to your tents after a tiring demonstration.

Mr Kaul, you have got a wrong name.

A dozen KJs would fly to take you atop the glory - posts and gardens of sympathies if you accept to wear a Khan name and love a Sunita, Pranita, Komal or a Kamini. Well, here you have a sweetheart in Mandira. That goes well with the story.

And you pegged the movie plot on autism.

I wept. It was too much. I wept as a father of a son who needed a story as an Indian. Who cares for his autistic son, his relationship with the western world, his love affair with a young sweet something as a human, as someone whose heart goes beyond being a Hindu, a Muslim or a proselytizing Vatican-centric aggressive soul. Not the one who would declare in newspaper interviews: "I think I am an ambassador for Islam". Shah Rukh is Shah Rukh, not because he is an ambassador for Islam. If that was true, he could have found a room in Deoband. Fine enough. But he became a heartthrob and a famous star because he is a great actor. He owes everything he has to Indians and not just to Muslims. We love him not because he is some Mr Khan. We love him because he has portrayed the dreams, aspirations, pains, anguish and ups and downs of our daily life. As an Indian. As one of us.

If he wants to use our goodwill and love for strengthening his image as an ambassador for Islam, will we have to think to put up an ambassador for Hindus? That, at least to me, would be unacceptable because I trust everyone: a Khan or a Kaul or a Singh or a Victor. Who represents India represents us all too, including Hindus. My best ambassadorship would be an ambassadorship for the tricolour and not for anything else because I see my Ram and Dharma in that. I don't think even an Amitabh or a Hritik would ever think in terms Shah Rukh has chosen for himself. But shouldn't these big, tall, successful Indians who wear Hindu names make a movie on why Kauls were ousted? Why Godhra occurred in the first place? Why nobody, yes, not a single Muslim, comes forward to take up the cause of the exiled and killed and contemptuously marginalized Kauls whereas every Muslim complainant would have essentially a Hindu advocate to take on Hindus as fiercely as he can?

If you are Mr Khan and found dead on the railway tracks, the entire nation would be shaken. And he was also a Rizwan. May be just a coincidence that our Mr Khan in the movie is also a Rizwan.

Rizwan's death saw the police commissioner punished and cover stories written by missionary writers. But if you are a Sharma or a Kaul and happened to love an Ameena Yusuf in Srinagar, you would soon find your corpse inside the police thana and NONE, not even a small-time local paper would find it worthwhile to waste a column on you. No police constable would be asked to explain how a wrongly detained person was found dead in police custody?

Because the lover found dead inside a police thana was not Mr Khan. No KJ would ever come forward to make a movie on 'My name is Kaul. And I am terror-struck by Khans'.

Give me back my identity as an Indian, Mr Khan and I would have no problem even wearing your name and appreciating the tender love of an autistic son.

Source...I got it in my email an found it worth sharing with everybody.