Thursday, February 26, 2009


I was reading about dowry and marriage on Swats blog and then all the comments also.I am also strictly against dowry, but first we must understand clearly the meaning of dowry also.
For me dowry means anything which is demanded and given unwillingly. But i dont consider anything and everything given to daughters as dowry, because daughter or son , parents give it to both, whereas sons always get the major part( and this is also justified because traditionally son bore all the duties and took responsibility of the parents), daughters get something as a part of gifts given to them on different occasions,.Dont the parents of a boy also do a lot for couple? so why this discrimination when it comes to girls.
Dowry system cant be abolished by girls saying we wont let our parent s give anything, for this to be effective, girls will have to also sacrifice something. Whenever there is a choice between two matrimonial candidates where both are equally qualified but one is from a rich family and other from a girl will go for the poor one, and it becomes a case of demand and supply.
girls dont want their parents to give anything any marriage, but wants their inlaws to give them expensive sarees and jewellery and sometimes dont give due importance to their gifts. It all comes down to values...till we value everything for the sentiments not for the price, till we find that virtues are more important than money, these systems will remain there however we may try, because we havent changed our mindsets, we are protesting what is convenient for us,its not important for a daughter's parents to say that they dont believe in dowry, but for a son's parent to realise. I read in a comment....The girls come to the groom leaving their family and all.behind....helloooooooo? now.a days no girl leaves behind anything, rather tries to do more than she could before marriage.yesterday i came across a man who has been married for 20 years and still his wife cant see beyond.. my parent, my siblings, for her no body has any value in life except her side of family, and she is creating a havoc in many people's life, now tell me, bringing up this type of generation, can it bring any positive change any society.
I have heard many girls saying that it would be better to have a matriarchial society where girls parents live with the will be more harmonious...but I know a couple..old one who went to live with their daughter and came back and now living on their own.
I know a lady who is living with her daughter and she keeps saying to me.....its better to live with the son, ur MIl lives with you so comfortably, whereas I have to work so much at this age.
So nothing is about gender, its about people..if a boy can adjust to his inlaws, so can the girl. Whichever system we have, there are bound to be some hiccups everywhere, but its only values or Sanskar which make our life better and which help us making others happy. Those who are sensitive(not to their own feelings, but to others), flexible, and respect their families will always do well in all circumstances. Life is never all about living for yourself, a little bit of kindness and sensitivity goes a long way and believe me families are very important in life, they give you an anchor and roots in life.

Monday, February 23, 2009


Now You must be thinking what this photo says..its about holding hands..Yes that is tag and I am tagged by Deeps. This is a very unique tag, and I sat over it for a long time also, wondering what to write. Now i am not going to look for the meaning of this, rather going to tell you what it means for me.

The very first holding of hand in anyone's life is always from parents, but I dont remember my parents ever holding my hand. My father being a businessman was always very busy, so much so that if ever we planned an evening show for movies ( you know that is the one thing which has made me fight with everyone, I was addicted to movies, my ultimate idea of entertainment in my young days:), we were lucky if we could watch night show, and my mother being in a joint family was always busy in the house.So i remember only either servants or my grandpa holding my hand and taking me to fete or evening walk (and on the way telling me stories about people and virtues) and in those days holding hand meant to me that I wont get lost:) it was security.

Then in the college, since I was an introvert(yeah:)and a bookworm, though its hard to believe now, even for me:), could never be very close to friends, my best friends were my bua and mausi and my books. and after marriage my H, then children and now my siblings.:).With all of them it meant companionship , doing things together, sharing good and bad of life and advising too:)

For me holding a hand means
.....I am there for you, come what may,
.....I will solve all your problems......(must be wondering how a human being can be that grand, but yes I need that moral support always, earlier my father gave me and then my brother.), now-a days i have many H,my BIL (sister's husband), my son and daughter, but still my brother remains that rock solid support, to whom I can turn to for any and everything.
......So what if you have made a mistake, everything can be rectified.
.........Nothing of ....I told you that:).. I hate that line:), ..No hate is a very strong word, but yes it irritates me a lot.
For my children...I held their hand in guiding them thru all walks of was guidance, I am the type of mother who had guidelines for each and everything in their life, and they stood them good all the time. or most of the time, Of course now I have stopped those:). In a way i still hold their hand and will always do so.. as I will be always there for them....... Yesterday i saw a line in serial Balika Badhu and liked it that .........shaadi ke baad betiyan paraayi ho jaati ha, lekin ma baap kabhi paraaye nahi hote.........of course it not valid for today's girls:)
I am very scared of crossing the road, so now when my son takes my hand and helps me in that,understanding my fear, it is an assurance that he understands me and loves me.
Recently i went endoscopy and I held the hand of my doctor so tightly that my fingernails must have cut into her palm:) and that was also assurance, faith in her.I thought as long as she is there , i have nothing to fear.
So I think holding a hand is mostly about assurance, whether you are giving it to your parents, children, friends or companion, that you are there for them.

And please there is no compulsion to do it or any limit of time. I want everybody to enjoy the tags as I do:). I have two more tags pending and will be doing them soon. and Thank you was lovely tag !
I would like to end this post with fun:).. here it is....and source

One day while walking down the street a highly successful Human Resources Manager was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself. "Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had a Human Resources Manager make it this far and we're not really sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in," said the woman.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in." "Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven", said the woman"Sorry, we have rules..."
And with that St. Peter put the executive in an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell.
The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends - fellow executives that she had worked with and they were well dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner. She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kindOf cute) and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved goodbye as she got on the elevator.
The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found St. Peter waiting for her."Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said.
So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came and got her. "So, you've spent a day in hell and you've spent a day in heaven. Now you must choose your eternity,
"The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell."
So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down back to Hell.When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks. The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her."I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable." The Devil looked at her smiled and told...
"Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you're an Employee"

Thursday, February 19, 2009


Daily when I open the paper, I read:......
1--A labourer killed because he threw a stone at a woman.
2--A boy hanged himself because his sister used his shampoo sachet.
3-A girl committed suicide because she didnt like the frock, her father brought for her Bday.
4--A boy killed his father or grandmother,when she didnt give him money.
5-Legislators manhandled in lok sabha.
6-HC turns war zone...and so on
What are we becoming..lawless, insensitive and totally aggressive.....and why? is it development? or progress? And if this is the human face of development, werent we better off without it?

Why life and property has become so cheap, almost no value or importance given to it, whenevr someone is angry....destroy something, someone or some property, why this negative sentiments always? What is the reason behind so much of aggression?

Answers are not so simple , we have come here due to the slow erosion of values and this culture of covetousness, earlier we thought we shall get everything slowly as and when the time comes, but today everything must come, will come, no matter what, and whether the time has come or not and whenevr that is not possible.. we explode.

I will say how does it make a difference.......

If we havent seen many countries..its not necessary to see the world.
If we dont have a big car
If we dont have a big house
If we dont have a big wardrobe......These things are all optional, but what is required is that..

We have honesty, integrity, ethics, all-in-all a good character.The more we emphasize on the character better it will be for future generation.
1--it happened because of the intolerance of people.
2--Here the child was not taught sharing.....sharing must be taught, not only for siblings but generally.
3--It happened, because we dont teach the children the value of delayed gratification, everything is instant.
4--No values here.
5-No discipline and always a show of power.
6-- here I wonder..if custodians of law themselves break the law what will happen,One thing i always believe that once someone decides to be a citizen of a should conform to the laws of that country and be loyal to place of his residence.
Till we keep respecting the people because of their clothes and houses,instead of their principles and values, we cant bring a change, this is what I thing...what do you think?

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Picture Tag

I was tagged by Shilpa and Ajit and the rules are:........

Pick the 6th picture of your 6th photo folder.
Tell a story around it.
Pass it on to six other people you like. I have been thinking about this tag for a long time, but didnt know what to write. Above is the picture from the sixth folder and sixth one. This is the temple in Kanchipuram. Whenever I visit any Temple in south..I am awed by the structure , magnificence and the vastness of the place. We have such a grand culture inheritance in these temples and they are visited by the multitude of people, everywhere I find throngs of crowd..long queues but feel sad to see that nowhere they maintain cleanliness, why? In a country like India, where we have so much of unemployment and will not be difficult to hire a person for cleaning and since most of the places levy a fee , and other wise also everybody is offering something for Pooja or sankalp, then finance also must not be a problem, then what is the reason? When today we raise voices for everything, why none asks about this?
I read about a thousand year old temple in Chennai near Perry and we went there and saw that it is completely neglected, though it is constructed on a huge land area, but there is no management of anything. Why cant we make our cities more beautiful, there are many places which can be turned into a good tourist spot with little management who will do a little cleaning and supply of drinking water and clean and hygienic prasad items and we can showcase our heritage to the velachery lake, muttukadu, these temples etc.If the government is indifferent, then I am sure there will be many other organisations in the city who can look after this.
Now i would like to tag..Shalom, Deeplydip, Deeps,Memories of a wandering soul, shades of grey and SR.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009


BHOOTNATH: ...I saw this movie and loved it, just for that adorable and cute.. and the ghost..Amitab bacchan ,the story is about a so called haunted house where a ghost wont let anybody stay and then there comes the family of Shahrukh, Juhi and their son..How the son get friendly to the ghost and how his love for the ghost changes the ghost even..of course in the end it gets too mushy and tearjerker, but all in all I liked it..thru the movie one gets many messages is no magic in life, its only hard work that succeeds,but one thing I dont like that in most of the movies they brand the children as the villains if they go and settle i beg to differ, parents shouldnt be the weakness of their children, rather their strength, and children's future is supreme, they are the future and they cant go backward in life..yes here the son and DIl are shown to be very uncaring and rude, that is bad, but settling abroad or anywhere else shouldnt be branded, shouldnt the parents respect the choices of their children and support them... I would love to see a movie where they show some solution of lonely parents in a positive way and thats why i always say ..remove a stigma from old age homes, may be give them a new name like..senior citizen/s resort or something like that, improve the facilities, and then the aged parents can also give a new dimension to their old lives instead of pining for their together is not always a solution, rather sometimes a beginning of problems also.
DOATANA: It has everything..big stars, good locales and a different story, but the second half looses connection, as turns to routine wooing. First half is hilarious, the highlights of this movie;
The scene where someone from immigration office comes to check them and the behaviour and mannerism of John:), and even Boman Irani......but do the gays really walk and talk like that....its like making yourself so conspicuous.and shouting to the world..which they ..I think wouldnt want to do.
Kiron Kher...she is a delight to watch.
Sushmita bundela Mukherjee is also looking good , but it is sick the way they manipulate a young child,second half is quite slow and boring,and for the twist in the end:)......fifty percent is left to guess.
Abhishek,John are Ok, but Priyanka is good

THE TRAIN..This is a small budget movie-- a thriller and i found it quite engrossing and a very simple way it is shown how an unhappy person in a weak moment can get attached to the wrong people and then being a conscientious one he can ruin whatever he has due to his sincerity..... its a story of Vishal dixit( Imran hashmi), an advertisement executive with an unhappy wife and a daughter who needs a kidney transplant.They have saved enough money ad just waiting for the donor.In the meantime Vishal meets a girl in the train and gets attracted to her for her simplicity and good and understanding nature and the rest is history:)--worth watching:)
I saw 13 GOING ON 30.....liked it, but realised it that we deride bollywood so much on cliche situations, but the same thing happens Hollywood also.....last minute realisations, vamp creating a misunderstanding etc....

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Valentine & rang de

Got this in email from my brother, and I laughed so much that I couldnt stay without sharing it...........enlarge it to read it..really funny:)
Now about my earlier post Rang de...Most of the readers feel skeptical and they are right too..this is what scamsters have made us, but I got this mail thru BITSAA..that means somebody from BITSPILANI..believes in this and it gives me some confidence, secondly this organisation has been featured in Outlook money and a few other also...Initially I have invested only 5000/---, I always believe that.....if I am going thru a good time, then no harm in giving as I have enough, and if I am going through a bad time, then I must give, because as it is, it is not going to stay with me:), and presently it is a small amount, I have lost much more thru raju's:) i dont worry about getting it back..BUT if it makes even one person comfortable...I will be the happiest person....its my personal feeling.


One day , when I went to the market I bought the magazine..Outlook money..I like it very much, to read about personal finance management. And here I read about an organisation in micro financing, i had read about all this a lot, but this was the first time I found the address and could read everything in detail and i liked the concept very much. And see the coincidence, next day I get an email regarding the same it is..

Dear Friends,

I am writing today to introduce Rang De - India's first peer to peer micro lending platform with a mission to make low cost micro credit a reality.Rang De is an innovative attempt to bring down the cost of micro credit by enabling individuals to lend small sums of money via RangDe.Org. Rang De hopes to reach out and include people to whom even ‘traditional micro credit’ is unaffordable. Rang De is a non profit entity with the sole object of connecting individuals who need money to social investors like you. Rang De will create a sustainable alternative to charity by promoting online lending as a way of life.

How Rang De works?

Step1: Social Investors like you search and choose borrowers to make a social investment. You can invest as little as Rs.500.

Step 2: Rang De’s field partners receive and disburse loans to their borrowers.

Step 3: Borrower repays loan according to a repayment schedule

.Step 4: You receive your money at the end of the tenure and earn an interest of 3.5 % on the principal you have invested.Anyone can become a social investor on RangDe.Org by investing as small a sum of Rs.500.

So log on to today to make a social investment today and share the colours of joy!

So I thought that it was not coincidence, but God who wanted me to know and invest there, and there is no greater joy than helping someone in getting on his own feet.This post is just to publicise this great endeavour of some people who are trying to make this world a better place to live in.

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else..

Sunday, February 8, 2009


Got it in the mail, have added a few myself:)

The Movie Encyclopedia==========

There are some things in life that you would never know if itweren't for Hollywoodor Bollywood

A great movie – "The Family Man"
Every married man with kids should see this

.Without The Movies you wouldn't know this:

** During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once

.** When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

** If being chased through town, you can usually take covering a passing St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of year.or a baraat or kawaali in India.

** All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reachup to the armpit level on a woman but only to the waist levelon the man lying beside her.

** The Chief of Police will almost always suspend his stardetective - or give him 48 hours to finish the job.

** All grocery bags contain at least one stick of FrenchBread.

** It's easy for anyone(specially if you are a hero u can run any thing, do anything) to land a plane providing there is someone to talk you down.

** The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place - no one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building undetected.

** Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned to a partner who is their polar opposite.

** The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

** All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they are goingto go off.

** If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition, even if you haven't been carrying anybefore now.

** You are very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

** Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer,it will not be necessary to speak the language - a German accent will do.

** If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disasteror killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition.

** A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean hiswounds.

** When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as youtake out a bill - just grab one at random and hand it over. Itwill always be the exact fare.

** Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use thatlight instead.

**In this era of theft and burgalaries..houses are open all the time, one can come and go at will.

**while worshipping if the lamp goes off..something bad will happen.

** If the family is very happy...calamity is round the corner.

**If the hero has a sister..she is going to be either raped or killed.

**One never tell secrets on the phone even if for sure one may be killed before meeting.
There may be many more like this.........leave it you to add:)

Thought for the day...The road to success??.. Is always under construction.
Piper has asked me to put this petition here...and I agree to the views expressed.
Here is the petition .

Wednesday, February 4, 2009


This week has been a fabulous one for sports people and the country, First Bhupathi and Sania won the Grand Slam in Mixed was the first For Sania and 7th for bhupathi, and then Dhoni ne dho daala:), they beat Srilanka at their grounds the second time. So this is the jubilation time for us, but this post is not about the merry making but about how to dress.....In the evening our team was invited to meet the president of Srilanka... The sight of our players sauntering casually in T.shirts and jeans was quite inappropriate , as they were there as the sports ambassador of our country and there was a lot of noise on TV about why they didnt follow the protocol and I started wondering why........
Why this generation has a abhorrence for protocols or traditions?
Why they give so much importance to comfort and none for propriety?
Personally I have always felt that by dressing properly we are giving respect to the host or guest due to them,according to the occasion. In the earlier days even my husband used to say that nobody will wear T.shirts, sports shoes etc in his office,Once a young graduate trainee in the early 80's came to the office without shaving, and he was sent back by the GM to come properly in the office or stay at home.
Then around the 90's he found many people doing this, though he still cant go to the office in the informals:). My daughter tells me ..this is software culture..but I it culture?..I always believe in dressing according to the occasion whether its a happy occasion or even mourning.....and now I know people are going to does it make any difference....It doesnt increase or decrease our quotient of feelings. But suitability of everything makes a difference everywhere, I remember two incidents in our family totally unrelated though , would like to share..
Once there was a death in our family and my brother wanted his wife to go in a saree, though she wear salwar kameez all the time otherwise,and i also support this view,because though we have started wearing all the dresses, in our families saree is still considered traditional, and wearing it, is a sort of following traditions, which I want to do.
Once my sister did her MBA training in a small town in a textile factory. After her training completed, the GM of that Co. wanted her to take up a job there........and the reason he gave was......being the only well groomed girl there.....she got lot of respect and admiration and many workers started coming properly dressed , and in time..all to impress her:), so she had brought a discipline there:), not present earlier.
I also feel the suitably attired person automatically gets the respect due to him/her, what do you have to say about this......

Thought for today...Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die

Sunday, February 1, 2009


Count how many good teeth you have.
.So you now know how many good teeth you have.
Did you notice something?
For the vast majority, the number of good teeth FAR outnumbers the bad.
You have far more good teeth but it's the bad teeth that get all of the attention. One bad tooth can cause us so much pain thatwe forget about all of the good.
So it is with life.One bad relationship and we think all men/women are bad.
One bad experience with a member of a different race. religion or culture and we think all who are different from us are bad.
A company can have a thousand employees and we can have one bad experience with an obnoxious employee and we think the whole company is bad.
One bad apple doesn't spoil the whole bunch but it will eventually spoil the whole bunch if you don't remove the bad apple. Infection spreads.
Some things you have to extract to keep it from spoiling the whole bunch.Like someone a child) had to get his two front teeth extracted to prevent further pain and to even prevent the spread of infection to the rest of his body.
Extraction of things in our lives is often necessary but seldom pleasant.
He had to be sedated, strapped down, and numbed.He still hollered.
Eagles fly high but have you ever noticed eagles don't have a lot of stuff strapped on their backs.
Some of us haven't reached the heights that we are destined to reach because we haven't extracted some things.It's too much on our backs and in our spirits.
You know what things they are.As plain as I am writing this and as clear as you can see theseletters, you know what things in your life need extracting.We all have them.Extraction hurts but the continuing pain of decay hurts evenworse and for much longer..More often than not, people will have major problems by the time they schedule counseling. Many are helped through counsel.Even though I can often see things that they cannot, most of thestuff that they need to change, THEY ALREADY KNOW!"I know I need to do this""I know I need to change that""I know this is wrong""I know I shouldn't feel this way""I know I should leave this relationship""I know this is not good""I know I should. . . "Many already know the things in their life that need to beextracted.So do you.The problem is not the knowledge in many instances.It's the pain of extraction.Pulling anything with deep roots is a problem.
The closer anyone is to the child and the further they are from maturity, the more sedation, straps and numbing they will need.
A child will even endure the pain for months or years until thetooth eventually falls out from the decay.Often we endure the pain far longer than necessary until it falls out and has nearly knocked us out.
Learn the lesson of extraction.For though we may have far more good teeth,This is a lesson we all need to know.You just need to remove some things.Just as a hot air balloon is mired to the ground with sandbagsoften so are we.It's not that we don't have the wind to fly,we've just got too many sandbags.Some need to be extracted and then we can fly.
BTW i wanted to ask..has anybody seen Shree Krishna on Colors? Not for anything religious or something well made, but watch it once to see that child who is portraying krishna....I find him out of this is mesmerising to watch him..walking, talking doing pranks and all that, fantabulous!


I was always of the opinion that we are better off because we dont have divorces so much.because i feel that divorce always makes a very St...