Sunday, February 8, 2009

MOVIE ENCYCLOPEDIA AND A PETITION

Got it in the mail, have added a few myself:)

The Movie Encyclopedia==========

There are some things in life that you would never know if itweren't for Hollywoodor Bollywood

A great movie – "The Family Man"
Every married man with kids should see this

.Without The Movies you wouldn't know this:

** During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once

.** When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

** If being chased through town, you can usually take covering a passing St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of year.or a baraat or kawaali in India.

** All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reachup to the armpit level on a woman but only to the waist levelon the man lying beside her.

** The Chief of Police will almost always suspend his stardetective - or give him 48 hours to finish the job.

** All grocery bags contain at least one stick of FrenchBread.

** It's easy for anyone(specially if you are a hero u can run any thing, do anything) to land a plane providing there is someone to talk you down.

** The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place - no one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building undetected.

** Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned to a partner who is their polar opposite.

** The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

** All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they are goingto go off.

** If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition, even if you haven't been carrying anybefore now.

** You are very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

** Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer,it will not be necessary to speak the language - a German accent will do.

** If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disasteror killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition.

** A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean hiswounds.

** When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as youtake out a bill - just grab one at random and hand it over. Itwill always be the exact fare.

** Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use thatlight instead.

**In this era of theft and burgalaries..houses are open all the time, one can come and go at will.

**while worshipping if the lamp goes off..something bad will happen.

** If the family is very happy...calamity is round the corner.

**If the hero has a sister..she is going to be either raped or killed.

**One never tell secrets on the phone even if for sure one may be killed before meeting.
There may be many more like this.........leave it you to add:)

Thought for the day...The road to success??.. Is always under construction.
Piper has asked me to put this petition here...and I agree to the views expressed.
Here is the petition .

32 comments:

Solilo said...

That was a good collection.

I have always wondered about

'Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use thatlight instead.'

LOL

Sandhya said...

Funny, Renu.

The hero will wipe out the criminals and ....the police comes ...Movie over!

Swats said...

superbbbbb
:)
thnx 4 sharing
its time v do away with cliches and stereotypes

Renu said...

Solio; Thank u:), there will be many more like this cliche situations:)


Sandhya: that is fanous for bollwood that police enters only at the end:)

SWAT: Thanx, even Hollywood is same:)

Pixie said...

LOL!!! :)
Very Funny Renu! :)

I have been trying to comment on this post all day! :D
and always, someone or the other has come by regarding work - this always happens when I have a grin on my face or I'm trying to control laughter!! :)

Renu said...

PiXIE: Good:) anything which brings smile to anyone's face is good:), why not add some here....

sukku said...

Thanks for sharing...only all this things can happen in tinsel town...irrespective where the movies are produced...

SR said...

That was funny! How about even when the heroine wakes up in the morning, she would not even have a hair out of place :)

starry nights said...

Enjoyed reading this write up.Thanks for sharing.

aneri_masi said...

Haha, this was so funny, RenuDi :)
But you know what, the thing about the baraats might actually be true, there are so many weddings happening all the time!

Mast list :)

Renu said...

Sukku; Yeah, it is same everywhere.

Starry nights: My pleasure:)

Aneri_masi: But it is so funny.how they get to know the song and dance routine in kawaalis and how they get mixed up in baraat(though its still posibble, )but start sdancing and singing..:):)

Shilpa said...

lol. that was funny.

வண்ணத்துபூச்சியார் said...

Hey Renu. First time visitor of your blog.. Great collection.

I wanna see "Family man". One of fav actor Nicolas cage..

Just visit my blog about international movies..

By the way can you read tamil..???

MUSHKIL NAI... Just look the pics..

Cheers

Renu said...

Shilpa; :)

........: cant read ur name even:),I am glad to see you here and looks like to u can understand hindi, is that so?

வண்ணத்துபூச்சியார் said...

Thanx Shilpa..

"Hindi" Not much.. Thoda Thoda Malum..

Renu said...

.............hey tell me ur blog name:) and I am Renu, Shipa is another reader of my blog.

வண்ணத்துபூச்சியார் said...

Sorry Renu..

My blog name is 'butterflyman" {guess right translation}

Vist and comment.

email: butterflysurya@gmail.com

Jayashree said...

LOL....esp at the L shaped bedsheet comment.

Renu said...

butterflyman; Thanks:) and will certianly visit urs:)

SR; yeah:) they always lseap ion full make up, even soenmtimes with fancy sarees and jwellery:)

Jayshree; :)

Destination Infinity said...

Slightly off topic: What is your mother tongue/ Language you are very familiar with other than english (I am doing a tag, and this is required for that).

Destination Infinity

Piper .. said...

Renu, what a hilarious post! :)loved it!

DeeplyDip said...

lol...a good post as usual....here's my addition:

All bullets fired on the villain's men will kill them in one shot, while the villain won't die with another 4 shots...and the hero can take atleast 10 shots on him...including the heart!

if the hero is poor, then he is a robinhood. If he is rich then he is a spoilt brat and a cassanova.

the poor are always honest and humble while the rich rean their money the wrong way and are always dishonest and arrogant.

Just call me 'A' said...

That was a fun read renu...and a good collection. I also remember that in most Hindi movies if there is a phone call informing someone that a person is in the hospital, the person answering the phone will always know which hospital to go to, inspite of the name not being mentioned in the phone conversation :).

Renu said...

DI: My mother tongue is Hindi..must have seen many times a few words or sentence in Hindi:), now I am very curious to see this Tag:)

Piper; Thanx:)

Deeplydip: Thank U and ur additions are very good, I wonder why didnt I remmeber them, specailly the last...I so dislike this.

JCMA: yeah,in Bollywood, there is just one of everything in a city ..be it mall,hospital,jwellery shop etc....so everybody meets there:)

Chronicwriter said...

ny window? i need to see the tower too

cool

my space said...

lol! this is truly funny...and ever noticed that when bullets are fired at the hero he keeps running and not ONE hits him!
There is ALWAYS a mandir where the hero/heroine goes to either plead or blame God.
Also the minute the hero is injured the herone /mother tears her saree/dupatta and ties it around the wound which surprisingly does not bleed!

The blogger formerly known as Sansmerci said...

which are the ones u added? haha these are really funny i cud add a lot more :D

Mystic Margarita said...

LOL! That was a great collection! Hilarious!

Renu said...

sansmerci; last ones are added by me:) add some more:)

Mystic margarita: Thanx:) and thanks for dropping, hoe to see you here more often.

PG said...

he he he! loved this collection! :D

Renu said...

PG; Thanks:)

Goofy Mumma said...

real nice. have blog rolled you!