Wednesday, February 4, 2009

PROTOCOL OF DRESS

This week has been a fabulous one for sports people and the country, First Bhupathi and Sania won the Grand Slam in Mixed doubles..it was the first For Sania and 7th for bhupathi, and then Dhoni ne dho daala:), they beat Srilanka at their grounds the second time. So this is the jubilation time for us, but this post is not about the merry making but about how to dress.....In the evening our team was invited to meet the president of Srilanka... The sight of our players sauntering casually in T.shirts and jeans was quite inappropriate , as they were there as the sports ambassador of our country and there was a lot of noise on TV about why they didnt follow the protocol and I started wondering why........
Why this generation has a abhorrence for protocols or traditions?
Why they give so much importance to comfort and none for propriety?
Personally I have always felt that by dressing properly we are giving respect to the host or guest due to them,according to the occasion. In the earlier days even my husband used to say that nobody will wear T.shirts, sports shoes etc in his office,Once a young graduate trainee in the early 80's came to the office without shaving, and he was sent back by the GM to come properly in the office or stay at home.
Then around the 90's he found many people doing this, though he still cant go to the office in the informals:). My daughter tells me ..this is software culture..but I say..is it culture?..I always believe in dressing according to the occasion whether its a happy occasion or even mourning.....and now I know people are going to say..how does it make any difference....It doesnt increase or decrease our quotient of feelings. But suitability of everything makes a difference everywhere, I remember two incidents in our family totally unrelated though , would like to share..
Once there was a death in our family and my brother wanted his wife to go in a saree, though she wear salwar kameez all the time otherwise,and i also support this view,because though we have started wearing all the dresses, in our families saree is still considered traditional, and wearing it, is a sort of following traditions, which I want to do.
Once my sister did her MBA training in a small town in a textile factory. After her training completed, the GM of that Co. wanted her to take up a job there........and the reason he gave was......being the only well groomed girl there.....she got lot of respect and admiration and many workers started coming properly dressed , and in time..all to impress her:), so she had brought a discipline there:), not present earlier.
I also feel the suitably attired person automatically gets the respect due to him/her, what do you have to say about this......

Thought for today...Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die

40 comments:

Shilpa said...

I agree with u.
But this incident is not the first.
Remember the Indian team at the opening ceremony of Beijing Olympics, almost everyone (ladies and gents alike) was dressed in pull overs and jump suits.

I mean, come on, you are representing your nation and parading in front of a 100 other countries. Show them you are presentable. Show them what our nation stands for.

Shilpa said...

I agree with u.
But this is not the first occasion.

remember the opening ceremony of Beijing olympics. Almost the whole Indian team (ladies and gents included) paraded in jump suits and pull overs, and that too in front of a 100 other nations.
That was terrible, especially when you are representing your nation.

Jayashree said...

Why do you think jeans & t-shirt is inappropriate attire? People should wear what they are comfortable in....not what other people think they should wear.

Sandhya said...

Yes Renu, this is the time for sports celebration. Dhoni's team is getting a good name nowadays and he seems to be a level headed person. Sania and Bhupathi should continue to play together in the future.

What you say about the dress code is right. I saw the other day, an old man with vibhooti on his forehead and looking very religious, came to the temple in bermuda shorts! Huh!

How do you get such good topics?!

SMRITI said...

True...and I agree with Shilpa. An attire, is more than just a peice of clothing at least in sporting terms. It is of who you are and what you represent. I think work attire should be formal too. It brings its own aura and charm and a sort of seriousness. Sadly, dishevelled looks and gelled hair are becoming the norm.

Renu said...

Shilpa: yes i remeber the olympices and how bad I felt then also:(. Atleast in personal life..one spoils one's image, but here they are degrading the nation, dont know when will they understand?

Jayshree; I dont think that jeans and t-shirt is an in appropriate attire..its most comfortable and looks good also, but sadly it doesnt come in the formal wear.
And when we live in a society, we must follow certain rules also, as they make it what it is otherwise it will become a jungle.

In hindi, there is an old saying....khao apne man ka, par pehno sab ke man ka..means..eat whatever u feel like, but wear what others like...and it was not coined for nothing:), I believe in this......its like this..Bikini looks good on the beach..but one goes to the market wearing it will it look nice? or can one wear the nighties for the outing..No..for the same logic...everything is worn according to the ocasion and then it looks good.

Renu said...

SMRITI: Yes, and when we can dress to impress clients, or seal the deals:) , then why not dress for all occasions,On oneside our vanity industry( read..cosmetics, parlours, desigh=ner dresses) is flourishing so much, on the other side we have this attitude...wuite contradiction na?

Destination Infinity said...

You are correct. In fact, if they had some respect for the occation, they would have come appropriately dressed. Your dress just reflects your attitude and opinion.

Destination Infinity

Renu said...

Sandhya: Some people cant keep the santicty of temple even:(.
Actually Sandhya today only i was telling my daughter, that I cant write on any TOPIC, I write only what I feel, thats why my all the posts have many points at one place..because I was thinking about all that.
For dressing., i always felt very strongly, I never allowed my children to go out in night dress or slippers even..though its a fashion now..but then i am old fashioned:)

Renu said...

DI: yeah, its very offending to the host to find their guest so casual about his invitation.With their behaviour they took the shine off their win:(

Swats said...

Why this generation has a abhorrence for protocols or traditions?
U don’t quite like ‘our’ generation: P

I don’t abhor traditions but following every tradition blindly is stupidity.

I agree when u represent ur country, u shud b dressed appropriately. Dressing right is very important. Dressing as per the occasion is even more important..ive seen women with make up and bling at funerals!

Renu said...

SWATS: noooooooo:) Rather i love this generation,but i keep readoing on the blogs that we shouldnt have any traditions, should not follow anything, just do what we want...and I dont subcribe to this theory:)

And bling at funerals..even i have seen:)

Amrita said...

as i ws reading this i was reminded of a comment by an oscar winning costume designer
she said clothes make a man ... naked men dont make ne impression :D


forgot who said it :(

Renu said...

AMRITA: Quote is good, who said is not so important:)

Shades of Grey said...

Although I am born of this generation, I echo the sentiments of yours when it comes to dressing for the occasion. I used to rebel a lot as a teen when it came to dress sense - my poor mother tore her hair out in frustration. I hated to be told what to wear simply because "others would talk". As a teen one need not care about how the world perceives you. As an adult, I feel one should care enough to think - because clothes DO make a man. They needn't be expensive or flashy. But they do need to be clean and suit the occasion. In this situation - I might not have an issue if they had worn jeans with shirts, instead of t-shirts. But that's me. And what I wear reflects who I am. And if the whole Indian team had collectively decided to wear what they wore - then that is the message they wanted to give the world. The question is, would they be dressed the same if they were meeting the President of the United States?

Renu said...

For teenagers its Ok to be rebellious and free, they are young, but adults have to be responsible for everything they do, and then if you are an sports ambassador of a country..ur responsibility is all the more.
and u have raised a very pertinent question in the last line?, and i am sure there answer will be no..and herein lies our hippocracy and mental slavery.

Reflections said...

Renu...very good topic!!!! Esp since I also have something to add:-D

U mentioned 2 examples & let me give u a small eg in my locality here in Dubai....
4 yrs ago when I used go to drop my daughter at the bustop early in the morning, all the other kids' mothers used to come dressed in their nighties & sometimes hair all messed. I used to be the only odd one out attired in a salwar & casual pants.
Then around 2 months later only when a neighbour pointed out did I realise that ALL of them also started wearing salwars:-D.

And yes...agree abt the cricketers & like Shades of grey I want to ask the same question "would they be dressed the same if they were meeting the President of the United States"????
:-/

Reflections said...

And just saw it again..the thought for the day!!!!
LOL...........tooo good:-D!!!!!

Pixie said...

I agree in some ways to this.. when we are attending a formal function - the attire has to be formal...

But, work place - now-a-days most people prefer jeans and t shirt or something like that because we will be choosing comfort - the comfort one needs when we put in such long hours...

Again, I don't believe in what is called as appropriate attire for certain places or occasions...
I also feel that when dressing - one should keep in mind the position they hold and their age...
Because as you say in the last line - the way you dress, not only fetches respect but it is also how you present yourself to the other person and first impressions are usually lasting if not the best!

Ajit said...

you are actually right, I well groomed person gets better oppurtunities....
But I would come in the "other category".....
I wear casuals to office, and I dont feel the need to polish my shoes ... :)
yeah, I think it is time to change, but it is not about rebellious... It is about being ME!!!

Renu said...

Reflections: See my belief is true..goodness brings goodness:)Even i never went out in a nighties:)

Pixie:You are right that comfort is necessary for long hours.

Again, I don't believe in what is called as appropriate attire for certain places or occasions...
I also feel that when dressing - one should keep in mind the position they hold and their age...But these lines of yours say that you also believe in appropriate dress, only the meaning of it differs for you....:), Instead of places or occasions..it should be age and position..isnt it?

Ajit: I am floored at the way you agree to disagree:)

Piper .. said...

hey, i didnt know this! Were they seriously dressed in casuals?? What were they thinking!!
Fully support your view point. I believe in dressing appropriately. Here in the U.S, during durga puja, all women were wearing saris or salwar suits. And one woman comes dressed in a tight black A-line skirt! And then she kept passing comments on others and kept calling them judgmental for giving her weird looks!! :)

Solilo said...

An American friend often tells us how liberals have ruined the country. He said the education; values have gone for a toss. He said that having a liberal thinking is important but it shouldn’t ruin some basic etiquette. Dress code is one of that. There was a time when our Cricket team would be prim and proper at such events and now we see Jeans wearers everywhere. I am someone who is very particular about dressing according to the occasion.

Renu said...

Piper: yeah, they were telecasting it on TV, This trend of being comfortable is nothing than simply laziness and not giving respect to the people. I challenge that any person who prefers to dress casually will do so..for any occasion where it affects his/her future...if you are like that be for everything and everybody, go shabbily for interviews or with a meeting to the boss etc.....

Solio: yeah, thats true, too much of liberty is always like giving a long rope to hang themselves...., I am also very particular about these things:), we have similar views here:)

Pixie said...

True... the appropriateness of an attire is important to me...
I paid more importance to age and position because of the nature of work I do :)
and I have seen some really ridiculously dressed people!!!

I don't place too much importance to occasions because sometimes it becomes highly difficult to balance work and then a party/function in the evening.. so, a pair of trousers and a slightly dressed up kurtha will generally serve as office wear and also slightly, if not 100% right attire to a party!! It's time saving and practical!

Renu said...

PIXIE: :),What you do is completley alright as you are balancing two things in a short time.....but some people have enough time and resources but still no inclination to honour the occasion or host...that is what i am talking about.
And the same can be said about those ridicul;ously dressed people, who were looking ridiculous, because they must have not dressed accorsing to the ocasion or place or age.

Anonymous said...

renu, you have a good blog here and relevant posts. agree with you on dress code. i believe 'there is a time and place for each action to be appropriate'. i used be on the other side for a short while but soon discovered that it made me feel much better if i follow this rule. it is true that regardless of where you are, a reasonably well dressed person always come out better even if he/she himself may not realize that like in nancy's example. will be back.
lan

Renu said...

Anonymous: Thank Ian ! yes I always believe that there is always a time and place for ebverything and things done acrodingly get better results and i saw in the comment section also, that most of the people feel the same:)
Thanks for visiting and hope to see you here more often !

The blogger formerly known as Sansmerci said...

totally agree with u renu, its what u wear that makes who ur, i ve seem completely dumb dresses at inapprorpiate places in the name of being unique!

dressing is more about how u carry urself perfectly for the occasion...i mean u can still b unique if ur...

DeeplyDip said...

hey renu didnt you get my message? i commented some 2-3 days back...
I totally agree with you on this one...afterall how many times do we see a person playing a football match in a suit? Then why should one go to office dressed in shorts? Doesn't the same "dress for the occasion" rule apply here too? Any customer facing person at work, needs to be appropriately dressed. Back office people can dress the way they like...
lol on the thought for the day!

Renu said...

TBKASM: Swarna, sometimes people confuse unique with bizarre:) and yeah I believe that its our atttitude which makes any dress special.

Deeplydip: I don know why but I didnt get any other message:(
I alway believe in being properly dressed and I feel so much pleasure at watching well groomed people, for me casual approach tells others about your attitude to everything imp. in life.
For thot of the day.. good for fun:) abut if you think seriously it has a deeper meaning also..kuch paane ke liye kuch khoona bhi padta ha:)

Enigma said...

Well i do agree that we have to wear clothes that suit the occassion...it does speak a lot about who we are and so on...
Clothes dont have to be expnsive and all, just wear something good and SOMTHING THAT SUITS U and something thats ok for the occassion...thats wat i do mostly....I know i am an indian and all that stuff, but to be frank i dress in pants, jeans and all that most of the time coz thats wat suits me more and i really am not comfortable wearing indian clothes in a totally arab atmosphere...But i do see to it most of the time that i go formally dressed where ever needed and all...In India i try and wear saree if the occassion arises...but most of the time i hate wearing a salwar... know y?? I get the most numer of commets wen i am in salwar, that also while wearing the shawl in a covering manner...i get all irritaed wen i hear dirty comments wen i am certainly not showing skin... :(

Humm but overall, ya i do agree with u and about wearing clothes to suit the occassion be it western or indian wear..

Piper .. said...

Renu, I have a favour to ask. Could you please put this link in your blog, so maximum people could read this and sign? I dont know how else to advertise it, other than having the most popular bloggers put up the link in their blogs. Here`s the link:

http://www.petitiononline.com/SMP12345/petition.html

Gargi Dixit said...

Why this generation has a abhorrence for protocols or traditions?

I consider myself of today's generation.

So let me put up an answer to this question.

here is it The Dress Code

You may say that India is not like that, you can ignore the fact that India is not much different than that.

Personally I have always felt that by dressing properly we are giving respect to the host or guest

Personally even I feel so, and I am sure every other Individual personally feel the same. yet we cannot make a dress code on general terms. Why?
Because although personally I think its good to dress nice, but my perception of nice dress can surely be much different than your own perception.
We can not expect people to remain slaves of tradition too, tradition is deemed to change it is natural law which abides whole universe, the law of change. We make our current tradition our current culture, we do not expect it to remain unfettered unchanged forever. neither our ancestors wanted us to keep following them like a heard of sheep. How can one expect remaining almost naked like gandhi used to live?
Now I can surely accept that in my personal property premises, certainly not on roads.

How can one accept the nudism which evolved in india and was spread in west from India? How can we expect people following nudism of ancient India which was supported Mahaveer, Gautam Buddha and other Indian saints and seers?

Now about some excessive adherence of people with dress code.

I remember when Sania denied playing with Serena williams at bangalore, i wrote a post about it.

The ostrich Way

Please read the two post, I feel i tried my best in those post to answer that question.

Hobo ........ ........ ........ said...

Dress is a messanger to awake our mind about certain feelings may be because of past knowledge about a particular dress.

Renu said...

Enigma; Its not about wearing Indian or western..its a personal choice, we are saying that if the occasion required formal wear, specially one where one where you are representing your country...you must conform...on personal label, one is free to wear one's choice, it will enhance or tar only person's image or appearance, and its hardly any concern for the public.
Dirty comments come from the dirty minds, not because of any dress, they will comment a 85 year lady also:)
And Thanks for dropping, hope to see you here more often !

Piper; here it is

Gargi Dixit; Hello Gargi, welcome to my blog and I read both of your post, very nice, but here we are discussing different thing...

Its not about a nice dress ....its about a protocol while visiting dignitaries and any civilised society has to have some, its not about wearing dhoti kurta or any other indian dress.
And the way we shouldnt follow traditions blindly..in the same way we not should dislike or deny them blindly, neither all traditions are bad, nor all thing nmodern good..here we must excercise our intelligence to see the propriety of everything....
Sri lankan team was there in proper formals.

and respecting the sensibilities of either society or family is not slavery, its decency.

Like I said earlier also...though we are in a free country and we can wear what we want, but we dont walk in a bikini ..when people live inSaudi..they dont wear dresses showing skin..why? because there sensibilities are like that. We cant compare Taliban etc in the same way..they are all extremist organisations.
As a person we are free in a democratic country to wear what we want, but wherever we represent country..it becomes our responsibility to behave in manner appropriate..be it dress or behaviour, and not shame our other countrymen.

HOBO: may be.

Shalom said...

I agree completely!!! You don't have to be expensively attired, but you should dress to suit the occassion. Another example I want to offer is of how people dress to go to church. A lot of girls these days come wearing strappy tops or really short skirts, and I think that's inappropriate .... you're coming to worship, not to party.

Also when I was living in the UAE, I was stunned by how some people used to come dressed for Christmas or Easter masses - in faded tshirts & shorts!!! I realise that clothing is very expensive in UAE and many people cannot afford new outfits, but come on, everybody has at least a shirt & trousers and these are the major festivals of our faith. You should show some respect for the occassion and come suitably dressed.

Renu said...

Shalom: Thanx:)..yeah attire need not to be expensive, i still remembr one of my H' cousin, who used to study in Kharagpur IIT, he had very few clothes, but was always crisply dressed..its all about giving respect to the host or occasion,as you have said.

PG said...

I wasn't sure if i had left a comment. I agree with you. One needs to dress for the occasion. It is a reflection of your personality. And this is proven fact. Which surely doesn't mean that it always refelects that what you really are. But, since we are biological maschines, if i may put it like this, with the computer (our head) analysing an sorting things and categorising. We cannot do otherwise, it is human nature and don't we feel pleasant to see someone dressed nicely , it is not about being fashionable, as you said.
But, the 'what' is also an issue of 'how' too, again like you also mentioned. We are living in a society and we need to respect each other and this is a way of showing it.
Although I totally understand you and agree with you, but feel like addign , after hearing about a horrible story from India that we still do not have the right to insult somebody for it.

Renu said...

PG: Actually clothes make the first impression, but here specifically these cricketers were the ambasaadors of our country and meeting a digintary, so it was in a way not giving respect to the host.
Insulting somebody for dress..there are always exceptions, we cant compel anybody for anything be it good or bad.