Wednesday, March 25, 2015


There are three types of parents in this world.
  1. This type was more prevalent in earlier generations. Here the most emphasis is on discipline and hierarchy. Parents decide everything about the children from the day they are born, from their name to their hobbies(if at all they are required), their carrier choices( sometimes the choice is their own longing for a carrier which they could not do for any reason and now they want their offspring's to fulfil that desire) to the selection of their life partner and after that their life style. Parent's word is the god's command, and if someone dares to air his opinion even,he/she is persona nongrata, in other words ungrateful child. For them individuality,personal identity are all alien terms.
consequences---- here the children, though they are intelligent but they grow into mostly introverts, with their perceptions quite mixed without any clarity of thoughts, they are principled outwardly as they are brought up with an iron hand, but susceptible to vices,live a life with a medium rate of success and satisfaction, never explore their full potential,always need security in life and they wouldnt make many people happy with their passive and melancholy demeanour.

2----Second type parents are those who bring up their children with a little democracy. Here children are taught the value of money, ethics and discipline from the beginning by the parents by way of their own behaviour and children are given choices with the knowledge of pros and cons of every situation.When they are young they must listen to the parents but be told the reasoning of everything, as they grow, they are given the choices and right to selection, but they must be prepared to face the consequences of their decisions. In the childhood parents are strict regarding their studies, health and character,but lenient where it involves their hobbies and free time.They give them the roots of unstinted support and freedom to their wings to fly higher and higher.
--These are the ideal parents( do they exist? ), and their progeny is well grounded,principled,respecting and caring for their parents and in general quite successful in their personal and professional lives. They will never turn to any vices whatever the temptation as their values will always save them, they are good human beings and a blessing to everyone.

3---The third type of parents are total freedom freaks, they also love their children a lot and give them full freedom from the time they are born, without any firm guidance.They fulfil the needs of the children, for the rest they believe in everybody living his/her own life.neither they are themselves disciplined, nor they teach it to their children, each to his own.They forget that freedom with itself brings a lot of responsibilities without which we cant have a cohesive society
Consequences---here a lot depends on the children, they may be good or bad, successful or unsuccessful, but they are bohemian in their lifestyle,non conforming to the traditions or conforming when it suits them,in disciplined life brings them lot of dissatisfaction in regard to their health and relationships.Their lifestyle cant bring happiness to others also.
I believe, as Zibran has said---children come from you but they are not your property, give them life,not ur thoughts
and man is the arch in the hand of god ( the archer ) , and children are the arrows, the more the arch bends, the faster and far away the arrow goes.

There is one more of the parents want to give their children more and more material things, they see the price tag more than quality..its always keeping up with the Joneses, so little ones are introduced to brands and wants, they dont know the value of money or people....They want their children to go to expensive schools, not because they want better education, but because it has better facilities...If child needs one thing, they give ten..somewhere such parents are fulfilling their own unfulfilled desires of coveting things....their children are pampered lot who want everything at their tips.

Now such children will not have a high self esteem when they grow up, because its tied with things..material possessions only make them feel successful...

The ideal situation is to ---teach the children values in their childhood and make them follow them with a discipline, and then give them freedom with a guidance when they grow-up, nurture their individuality and then sit back and enjoy -watching them fly-soaring heights.But for all this parents need to discipline themselves first..which is next to impossible today.


KParthasarathi said...

A good analysis.
The summation at the end of the role of good parents is excellent and one to be followed.

R. Ramesh said...

hi friend..thanks for the message and passing by my blog..wishes...

Renu said...

KParthsaarthi:Appreciation from you makes my day:)

R.Ramesh:welcome here !

chitra said...

Renu, I am also appalled the way parents bring up their children. They do not have time to tell children what is good and bad , as long as parents do not get troubled by their children it is fine with them.
Money can buy everything but one thing parents forget are to teach values in the formative years.

Joseph Pulikotil said...

Hello greetings and good wishes.

Your classification of parents into four types is really amazing and it is very interesting to read the different characteristics of children these parents create.

The ideal situation described by you is very useful.

The problem with most parents I think is that they imbibe the qualities of their own parents knowingly or unknowingly. Even the children will unconsciously carry some of the qualities of their own parents.

All parents in general want the best for their children and they want their children to be successful in life.

Very thought provoking post.

Best wishes

Renu said...

Chitra:Today many parents themselves are not either very ethical or morally strong..what can they teach?

Joseph Pullicotil;: Welcome here sir!

Thanks a lot for the appreciation.!

yes all parents want the best and success for their children, but the parameters of success and best are different for everybody,as most of the people equate money with success. Secondly not many have the knowledge and fortitude to do the right thing.

Anilkumar Kurup said...

Ms Renu that was a well analysed piece. Very observant indeed/
One more kind are the ones who want to bring up their children like the Jones next door.Its a dangerous and vain matter.

Indeed I endorse the ones who are more democratic and teach children values such as honesty, integrity, caring and dedication.
The spoilers are the ones you mentioned loading their kids with material things.

It is matter of luck to have great parents.

Renu said...

Anilkumar Kurup: Thank you sir!...actually I want parents to be righteous, then the onus would be on children to choose the life they want, but most of the time..such values are imbibed from the childhood..

khushi said...

I can say the parents belonging to Category 2 exist; as mine belong to that one! :)

Nice analysis... !

Sandhya said...

With just one or two children, parents devote their time and energy on taking care of them. Their wish is fulfilled as soon as they come out from their mouth. But sometimes they advice...the children are in no mood to heed them. It is very difficult to bring up children with good manners, discipline etc. You have written all the points for discussion. But every individual is different.

Enjoyed reading this post of yours.

harman singh said...

very well analysed ..I wud say freedom and disciple goes hand in hand ,, cuz freedom comes with responsibility.. and discipline carries freedom very well.

Renu said...

Khushi: good to know that:I and welcome here !

Sandhya:Thank you sandhya !..parenting is not easy..

harman singh:if only everyone understood would be so much better.

fallenrhainnes said...

I for one is striving to be a good, better and right parent (single parent for that matter)to my child. I wish i could bring out the best for my child and make him a good citizen and later a parent of his own.

Thanks for passing by my blog.

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