Vibes

Just the other day my nephew was saying that people are neither good or bad,its vibes only we have good vibes with some and with some we dont...The same people are liked by some and disliked by some
And I have heard many people saying that in the outer world people love them whereas in family they are not valued...
Both above statements stem from the same....karma

In the first lets talk about vibes...what are vibes..we care for somebody, talk with love, spend our time, money on them, and do things for them and they get get good vibes from us..its our behaviour which gets us vibes, nothing else, if one misbehaves with some one, that someone will not good vibes from one..

The same person behaves differently with different persons...with one set of people he/she is all sweet, caring  ,polite and eager to please , and with other set of persons, she/he is arrogant, rude,and never ready to do anything for them..so the result is obvious, first set of people will like and second one will dislike..

And all this is not because different people react differently, NO all people react almost same to love, care, affection and rudeness and arrogance.So the culprit here is not other people, but the person himself/herself.

People outside have totally different view of the same person, as they get to know only the best side of the person or the fake facade put up by the person, its only the people living with them, who know the real person and their verdict is real.....

So be good to the people....everyone, not your own family only and see that you will get only good vibes and appreciation. If you get criticism, then think about it, and introspect whether its true. If its true, then instead of blaming people try to change yourself.

ADVICE

Advice
=======

Be careful from whom you get your advice.

Make sure they are where you want to go
or at least headed there.

For sooner or later, their advice will take you
where they are.

Make sure you want to go there.

This And That

Now a days  my blog is being read by more people than before but comments are less than before...so may be i am getting lot of new readers..and i would request them to drop some reaction..it would make me happy..

Lately i have been reading a lot, watching lot of movies too, so much so that I am not able to write anything about them.isnt it a contradiction? but this is happening to me..presently i am reading Lucknowi boy..Vinod mehta, and this time I would certainly write a review.

I Believe in infinithism and I read the book seriously and their view point is always new and positive.Yesterday i met one of their representative and came to know that they run a course of some 10-15 sessions where they teach about many things.how to live your life with purpose and be successful and happy. As we see in todays life, people neither have good relationships nor good health, just earn a lot.So they bring that balance in life...so far so good...But when I knew the fee for the course i was surprised..33800/...I thought of it as exhorbitant whatever excuse he gave me..No wonder that more and more big people are attending him, because only they can afford to.To me if one says that one wants to spread good thoughts, values and culture in today's generation..its a very noble thought and profession, and one should try to do it in such a way that the benefit can reach to many and specially to normal ,ordinary people..Asking for a high fee is like insulating it from the normal people, and the majority is not getting any benefit..its only selected few.....

what do you think?

some quotes I liked

Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.”

Eleanor Roosevelt

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that,

but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”

Mark Twain

“Have the courage to say no.

Have the courage to face the truth.

Do the right thing because it is right.

 These are the magic keys to living your life with integrity.”

To be capable of steady friendship or lasting love, are the two greatest proofs,

 not only of goodness of heart, but of strength of mind.

 William Hazlitt

Affection is not measured when both take care of each other 

It is measured when one Ignores and the other still continues to care...

Don't be content with doing only your duty. Do more than your duty.

 It's the horse that finishes a neck ahead wins the race.

 Andrew Carnegie.

Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, 

turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.

 William Arthur Ward

Live so that when your children think of fairness and integrity,

they think of you

H.Jackson Brown,Jr. 

When People Walk Away From You, Let Them Go. Your Destiny Is Never Tied To Anyone Who Leaves You. It Doesn't Mean They Are Bad People. It Just Means That Their Part In Your Story Is Over...

strawberry and worms

Strawberries and Worms
=======================

Personally I am very fond of strawberries and cream, but I have
found that for some strange reason, fish prefer worms.

So when I went fishing, I didn’t think about what I wanted.
I thought about what they wanted. I didn't bait the hook with
strawberries and cream. Rather, I dangled a worm or grasshopper
in front of the fish and said: "Wouldn't you like to have that?"

Why not use the same common sense when fishing for people?

~Dale Carnegie, from How to Win Friends and Influence People~

SOME NEWS

Today i saw a news that  in Chennai old parents committed suicide because there DIL filed a false report that his FIL misbehaved with him. It saddened me a lot.Parents always think that children will be their saviour when they grow old and then this..

I would say that parents must understand that the time of living with children is gone, so whether you are able to do less or more for your children, but make sure that you arrange for your old age, and never live with children. I have seen that wherever parents are rich or earn more than the children, they are respected and certain discipline is followed , but once children start earning more, DILs become totally irreverent and arrogant without any discipline in life. So whether we like it or not money matters.

Somewhere most of the people cant give up a life of comfort, even if it comes after forfeiting self respect, here I differ.I believe in living with dignity, may be without material comfort or some day to day problems even..Now the onus  is on the older generation...what they want...to trade their dignity for comfort or live on their own ...to take the crumbs or live with self respect..

You have done you job with bringing them up, now let them live, whether they do their duty or not is their outlook...,,you must let them be free....

Extra Marital relationships

Recently I read two books one from Nirupama Subramaniyam and other from Anita Nair., and both had extra marital relationship at the core.Why do they happen? Normally people think that some dissatisfaction is at the core of that, but not necessarily. Sometimes, or many time people just think of themselves and enjoying the life.
Whether arranged marriage or love, there will always be a time when life settles to a routine without any adventure, and if one is ready to think then it is stagnation. Or sometimes its individual growth, one advanc3s and other is not able to grow with times and people feel incompatible. I hear many women saying after 25 years of marriage that they are ill suited to each other or they feel a vacuum in their life.Of course it happens, but sensible people find the solution withing marriage only.
The best way to find a solution is to communicate what you want, but the problem arise when its one sided and other just doesnt want to do anything to better or always thinks of her/himself as perfect, then may be its time to move on, but never think outside while living in a marriage..otherwise same thing happens as in the two novels I wrote earlier about.

In Intermission..Nirupama subramaniyam..Varun sareen and Gayatri marry for love but after some  years love goes out of the window. Gayatri always finds fault in everything her husband does and regrets her choice, Varun gets attracted to a neighbour and seduces her..
In Mistress..Anita Nair,..Radha is a snobbish daughter of a rich industrialist . has affair with a married man, does an abortion and then his father marries her to a man who was earlier poor, but not any more. She gets married but neither loves him nor respects him, and then gets into a relationship with a foreign tourist who stays in their resort.I totally dislike people who marry but dont respect the institution or the commitment it requires. Better not to marry..Her uncle is a Kathkali dancer, and I loved every detail written about this dance form.
In both the stories all the extra relationships are temporary, they could never turn into something permanent, so bring only misery either to the person involved or people who loved them.

In fact I found in them a moral lesson...to cure unhappiness, dont ever do something immoral or never do any thing just for yourself if it will hurt others involved..short term happiness is not worth it.If one is getting restless in a relationship, better to find some creative outlet, take some hobby, learn something new or start doing something for social causes or unprivileged people..it will bring long term happiness and may be better your married life too.

MOTHER'S DAY

For the last week whenever I open any paper there are deals galore for mother's day, and gifts could be anything..from home appliances to home....I smile at the merchants finding one more idea to sell their merchandise.Now a days there are so many special days in a year that diificult to remember..mother's day, father's day.children's day,bdays, anniversaries and then our festivals,and Akshay tritiya and many more.....

Mother's day is celebrated with pomp and show whereas today only I read a news where one set of parents in Gujarat are running from pillar to post to get relief from their DIL and son who are tormenting them so much.Its not something you can celebrate in a day, it should be your day to day business. Today not many children want to live with parents, not in the same house. Those who live, are rude frequently and disrespect them frequently, but on mother's day all feel happy by giving some small token or a card. Ask anyone who celebrates these days, how much they do for their parents, not many will be even calling their parents twice a week...citing a busy life where they find time to go out, to eat, to do shopping and sometimes sight seeing...

There are not many children who even know what their parents like,
If parents want them to write regularly or call, they dont think that will show their love...
if parents want them to send a card, they will forget and not consider it as important...
if Parents live with them, then since they are all the time there, no need to be anything else,
if parents are visiting, then also they want parents to conform to their lifestyle,

They want to show their love only in their own way..not bothered if it makes their parent happy

but come mother's or father's day..they are celebrating it.....
I fail to understand this celebration....
I consider day to day care more important...and round the year I try to do whatever I can,if my mom wants anything, I try to get it and go out of the way without thinking of any convenience, and whenever i am with her, I conform with her lifestyle, and try to do everything to her satisfaction, I call her often, because that makes her feel better. And same for my MIL, she lives with me at her ripe age, though she has 4 other children, I look after her every need  and liking...be it medicines, food, clothes...instead of her son, she would ask me if she needs anything..
And That s my celebration....
I dont say that dont celebrate, but do it only if you can manage it round the year, dont make a farce..

it shouldnt be like you are making them miserable round the year, and salvage your guilt by celebrating this one day...

Corruption in our homes

Now a days whenever we open the paper in the morning, there is a new scam..corruption is reaching new heights and we all feel sad and frustrated. But are we all not doing some little corruption in our daily lives..and doest it matter only with quantum or even spirit is important....
I have seen many people who consider themselves as pillars of society and are quite arrogant and snob, but totally corrupt financially...And they are called respectable people, though personally I dont respect anyone like that..Few examples...

Many people participate in the pilferage of electricity...rich by having a jugaad for running multiple ACs and paying for none, wheres poor just take it without paying anything, as in slums...

Many doctors get a govt job and collect the salaries without going there at all, all the while running their own practices. And many who go charge extra from the patients, and prescribe them expensive tests where their cut is predecided.Tests may not be even required and here they dont leave even very poor.

Many people pay for 2 BHk flats, but then cover all the balconies and extra space into extra rooms, storage ,without thinking that doing this they change the ecological  environment  and ventilation in the houses  of the other people.

People never put plants in their own area, instead they show their love of green only by occupying some extra space from the public area.

All the shopkeepers keep inreasing the footpath or road area occupied by them, they pay for some only and try to get double of that, irrespective of the inconvenience caused to to pedestrians or other road users.

All autoriksha drivers never run by meter, its not that only rich are corrupt....its the mentality that counts, money has no value in morality........

Many fruit sellers cheat in weighing...

Milk, subsidised by govt. is always being sold at  higher price..

We pay big amounts to schools for admission of our child, isnt that a bribe?

When we have no reservation in train, we are ready to pay anything to get a berth.

I can count many more such incidences where rich and poor are equally corrupt and never realise it.but raise a hue n cry only when someone influential does it. But we can remove it only if we become ethical in our day to day life...

I request to everyone to think over it..
Use only that much electricity which you can pay
Dont occupy unauthorised spaces anywhere.
Be  genuine in your profession, or i can say be loyal to your profession..

LESSONS IN FORGETTING

Lessons in Forgetting..Anita Nair
a very good, interesting book and with a purpose.Meera is a corporate wife happy with her parties, elegant settings and etiquette's.whereas her husband is ambitious and wants to sell her house to start a business. When she denies it( she cant sell it as she has no right over it, but she doesnt tell it to him), he leaves her.Then the story is about how she picks up her life, meets Jak(Indian American, also divorced). And Jak is looking for the people who destroyed her daughter because she found a clinic where infanticide is being practised for money.Its quite interesting to read how Indians see a girl who is born and brought up in US and the different interpretation of same things and behaviour by Indians and Americans. How sensibilities change with upbringing and environment.

Stay Hungry Stay foolish...Rashmi Bansal
This is a very inspiring book. It is a compilation of 25 stories of IIM graduate who became entrepreneurs..I was very impressed with Mr Venkat Krishnan..graduate of 93 batch, he founded Give India...A quote from him...We need the best minds in our country to think .what is the best human ideal we aspire towards. Rather than what is the next 30 Cr. flat I can buy for myself or whatever else I can do for myself..
Otherwise everybody is an inspiration in this book.

Who will cry  ,when you die..Robin Sharma
Nothing special, very routine advice for a good living..