Now a days one keeps hearing..that fellow has got such a high package,.....his children are very succesful (because they are earning good money)....have we come to value only money. What is the parameter for success? Do we ever bother about deserving anything or just getting it...Why do people equate the riches with respectability..where have the virtues gone?...
Why every parent want his child to earn a good salary only without thinking whether,,
his/her child deserves it? and when they are earning, nobody bothers whether they are ethical, honest in their dealings or care about environment, country or society or even their own family.
In today's materialistic environment, we ourselves teach the children to value things over people, but when they start doing it we sit on judgement.
I see many people who are rich but
ill treat their servants,
pay them less than they deserve
dont look after their old parents
their children drive cars without driving licences,
They use electricity with jugaad,
dont pay taxes,
According to me all such people are not succesful people in life, success doesnt mean earning money only...
We provide our children many things which they dont need, but just because their peer group have them, so must they, otherwise they may get a complex...instead we must tell them the difference between needs and wants , necessities and luxuries and appropriate time for indulging in them.But how shall we? When I see adults themselves aspiring only for the things..I feel pity on them. There is so much in life to look forward to and here people are looking only at gazettes.....
I always wanted my children to be good human beings first, they may do or not do lot of charity, but they shouldn't do any wrong thing, shouldn't hurt others for their happiness,shouldn't be unnecessarily rude, caring about others and value people in their lives.I dont care whether they have big bungalows, fancy cars or anything, I would feel sad if they are unethical in their dealings with anyone, personally or professionally.
So to me success means..living an honest life with ethics....and all those who do so are very respectable to me irrespective of their financial status.
Why every parent want his child to earn a good salary only without thinking whether,,
his/her child deserves it? and when they are earning, nobody bothers whether they are ethical, honest in their dealings or care about environment, country or society or even their own family.
In today's materialistic environment, we ourselves teach the children to value things over people, but when they start doing it we sit on judgement.
I see many people who are rich but
ill treat their servants,
pay them less than they deserve
dont look after their old parents
their children drive cars without driving licences,
They use electricity with jugaad,
dont pay taxes,
According to me all such people are not succesful people in life, success doesnt mean earning money only...
We provide our children many things which they dont need, but just because their peer group have them, so must they, otherwise they may get a complex...instead we must tell them the difference between needs and wants , necessities and luxuries and appropriate time for indulging in them.But how shall we? When I see adults themselves aspiring only for the things..I feel pity on them. There is so much in life to look forward to and here people are looking only at gazettes.....
I always wanted my children to be good human beings first, they may do or not do lot of charity, but they shouldn't do any wrong thing, shouldn't hurt others for their happiness,shouldn't be unnecessarily rude, caring about others and value people in their lives.I dont care whether they have big bungalows, fancy cars or anything, I would feel sad if they are unethical in their dealings with anyone, personally or professionally.
So to me success means..living an honest life with ethics....and all those who do so are very respectable to me irrespective of their financial status.
18 comments:
Insightful post. We should teach kids the value of life and treating others and remain one ourselves. That where the true success lies
I am not justifying anything Renuji, but there is too much peer pressure and parental pressure too. Everything is about money and buying power today. I know of s/w friends working in India and they always have to answer why they are not abroad. Even professionals cheat and fudge their IT returns, a lot of small business people don't even think it is imp. to file them. There is no end to it, seriously. Change has to come from within.
Even I tell the same thing to my son. You don't get top grades and find a great job, I am okay with it. But be courteous to people. Be humane first. Riches never make a man successful.
And parents buying unnecessary things to kids. Many times, we have to do it for peer pressure. Times have changed. So, have we. When we grew up, we had one pencil and one eraser. Now, the school supply list demands 24 pencils at the beginning of the year. So, buying one pencil like we did won't work :)
yes, ethics make a human being..a very relevant post
With this definition of "success", you (and I) are in minority.
I would rather do same ..make my kids good humans rather then rich ..
professional or non professional but only good humans its must!!
I agree with you.
Uma Anandane: Welcome Uma!..yes the onus lies on parents:)
Chatty wren: I know Vibha..I have been thru all this, but I never budged...and always kept my morale high, still I do the same...
Found in Folsom: true but for the change we must learn how to mould the peer pressure..dont know whether you have read Premchand or not but he has written an story..CHIMTA, if you ever get a chance read it, it will make you think..
Pressure was there earlier also ..may be less than today but it was there....its something I will write in a full post:)
Ankita:I hope people understand me..
SG: I am happy to find anyone supporting me...
Harman Singh: yes Harman.thats they way to bring up children adn make a good world for them to live in..
I was reading my own views in your post Renu--we think alike.
Today these thoughts have been relegated to the background-hence the angst.
You are correct Renu. We must teach the children to be kind and generous. But the parents must first become role models.
Amen to your post, renu.
More than teaching the children, I believe we have to live as an example for them Renu.
Values like giving in kind( not just cash), respecting elders & service providers and not buckling to peer pressure or pressurizing them to compete are some values that we have to live by.
children are good observers and they will automatically absorb these values. and come what may whenever they are in an unholy environment these strong values will serve as emotional cushions for our children. This is the biggest wealth i believe we can give our children and not bank balance. infact, i had written a post for parentous - a parenting website on this.
Values are important in life and the parents can put this thought in the child's mind from a very early age.
We can do our best to teach our children by being like what we want them to be. Then it is upto the individuals...
Yes, Today we are judged by fat salary packages and it's the only parameter to judge once success, now a days.
Indu Chhiber: Is it? I am so happy to know that..
Usha Menon:Thats the main problem:)..parents dont want to behave:)
Asha:..yes we have to change our ways..it is said that children are best observers, so give them something good to imitate..
Gauri Guaha: true, parents are moulding the generations.
Sandhya: yes, thats the reason even two siblings are not same..
Chinmayi Ananadam: its not right and we must change that..
By God's grace I have a beautiful, loving child, but she is also by nature very stubborn and instinctively selfish. So it is a daily battle to teach her to be generous and considerate. I have seen too many parents ignore this aspect and focus only on their kids accomplishments. So I've learned that you have to start teaching kids morals and ethics as early as possible, by talking to them as well as behaving like that ourselves.
Salomie:very true Salomie, but I know that your child will be good, as you are one of the best persons I have come across, and being good is the best way to teach...
Thank you for this lovely post.
As always, agree with you completely Renu. But as one of the other visitors rightly said, we are in minority.
I have seen a parent scolding a child and calling him unambitious when on being asked which is the next car we should purchase, his answer was an i20, and not an Audi or a BMW.
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