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I saw this movie and loved it..after a very long time there is a movie which enthralls you.. soul and mind..everything. The movie is about a Punjabi boy falling in love with a tamilian girl and then making their families come around.The way everything is treated is just superb..the dresses, the dialogues and acting, everything is very good.Alia is looking soooo beautiful, ethereal and  acted very well, Arjun Kapoor is also good.As parents,Ronit Roy,Amrita Singh and Shiv subramanium and Rewathy all are very suitable to the character. Songs are very sweet.Loved the one..Offo..and man mast magan...

Wont write anymore because i will be praising everything:)

One little thing, though its nit picking is that Boy is shown doing more efforts to please girl's side than girl, and in the age of laptops, it would have been better if they had shown printer in place of typewriter.

This movie puts in perspective..what is true love...

images.courtesy Internet

I ME MYSELF

I have a big grouse against today's  women's magazine.Especially English one, though all other like Hindi ones are also catching up fast. On the face they claim to be of substance and giving the women information, and an identity. But they are full of advice only on cosmetics, jewellery,clothes and many more consumer items.Issue after issue they keep on reinventing the same ideas again and again. Seems to be a catalogue of latest in fashion and gadgets. and their agony aunts column are really an eye opener.As an agony aunt, I have seen that except Pooja Bedi, all others  look like they are enjoying other's troubles and instead of finishing trouble..finish the person.And all the magazines follow the same agenda, if in a month Malaika is hot, then she would be there in all the magazines.Any discerning reader can see that in one issue they write about how shopping is therapeutic and in the next issue they will bring out an article about why not to do shopping. Sometimes in the same issue there are two contradictory articles.But always an excess of blushers,creams,chappals,bags and watches.
These things are important in life and a part of life, but they cant be a life.


Grooming is good to enhance the personality, but for that there should be a personality first. And for a good personality one needs education and moral values and virtues need to be taught.Like they say that bad things appeal to us instantly , but for the good things to appeal, first we have to make the environment conducive to that and it takes time.

They always tell the reader to think about self only, everything comes later. It is good to look after self interest and self,,even our scriptures also that that tolerating injustice is akin to doing it, but it is always better to take into consideration the well being of our family , then our society and then our country.Nobody can be a world in himself..one needs people, society to live...and for that we need to make a good society and that can be made by being good to others..

Its neigh impossible to always do what You want and still keep ur family happy,like I can give examples of very small things,
I may enjoy sleeping late, but if I have school going children, I cant do that. and if I do that I would be neglecting my duties. And we must always learn this---- rights only come after duties.

Most of the publications are following western formats and their ideology, completely forgetting that west is not happy, they may have lot of luxury and facilities but not any family values like we had. in the name of progress why are we destroying good things of our culture. because for us......
family means ----
spending sleepless nights when children are sick
giving the best to our children , even at the cost of compromising lifestyle.
waiting for our spouses to come and have dinner together,( not eating whenever
u feel like ).this point is debatable..i believe in that many may not...:)
sometimes forgoing your parties and going out due to small kids.
adjusting our vacation plans and outings because we have our elders with us.

And believe me the enjoyment and satisfaction of giving up something for our family far exceeds than living for self, just try it for sometime.and see, there is more romance in doing something for yourr spouse or taking care of his/her likings and disliking than just celebrating a valentine in a year.

CASTE AND ELECTIONS

Whenever i see the analysis of voting and everything on TV, I feel that election commissioner has brought lot of good systems....so why not prohibit people about dividing people by caste.Anybody who talks about people in terms of Hindu,Muslim,yadav, Brahman will be banned..why cant we discuss the electorate just like that without mentioning cast..once people know that cast cant be converted into ballots they will stop their divisive policy...

And for that to happen we will have to stop all sort of reservation everywhere, in official language, cast shouldnt  matter...it should remain a personal agenda like religion...dont do any consensus according caste and religion..just Hindustani...

For example...if we want to discuss votes we can say 30% (or any percentage)will vote for this and rest for that..not that Muslims will vote for this and Hindus will for that...

Today first politicians, then TV media, newspapers,they all highlight caste equations and then want people to negate that...why? why dont you stop reporting like this........

BANKERUPT...RAVI SUBRAMANIAN

Slowly slowly, i am becoming a fan of Ravi subramanian....I always wondered how all these biggies transfer their money to Swiss banks and their modus operandi:)..he is always giving lot of info about banking..

This story is about Aditya raisinghania and Cirisa who are from different communities but fall in love and marry. Then Cirisa feels that Adi is not a very principled person, for him means are not important, only the results and money are.But love.he does.She gets a scholarship for research from MIT Boston and theirs is a long distance relationship now.
Her father Narayanan also runs a business of Emu farming and when in trouble has no qualm about doing anything..is always taking help from Adi in money laundering and other problems.
There in Boston also she discovers that even in field of academia, there is greed and egos which make everything possible, even murder.People fudge the results of research which makes her feel totally disgusted. She is not ready to accept all this quietly..so she gets murdered...

And then Adi realises what he has done, misses Cirisa and wants to find the killers at any cost, even if he gets the rap..Cirisa has left enough clues for him to find everyone..

very interesting novel..worth a read..

JAI HO

This movie brings this idea of helping chain where if you help someone , instead of accepting thanks ask him to help another 3 people and take this chain forward..I read this idea somewhere 10 years back and in Chicken soup for the soul books too..and always wondered why we dont do it...

Here Jai is our quintessential hero with magnificent physique and golden heart,but more importantly he behaves like a superman..Instead of finding solution in killings and fights, if they had some feasible ideas and solutions,even in a comic way..it would have been very enjoyable.casting is very good..Tabu,Nadira Babbar,Yash Tonk ,Resham Tipnis,
Mahesh Manjeraker  and few  I  didnt  recognise....
Since   I am a big fan of  Salman khan ,I enjoyed in bits and pieces and wished for a good director

This is one picture with a very good idea spoiled by story writer or screenplay writer whatever. The brilliant idea could have turned into an excellent movie....secondly Daisy Shah is not worth a single scene even..no heroine material....

Saw Odd life of Timothy Green and XXX.State of the Union..and enjoyed both..first for its sweet weird happenings  and second for its unbelievable stunts..

OLD AGE

Whenever I see the posts on old parents, old age homes and the people's comment..he is a good son, or he is a bad son...all being judgemental without even knowing the circumstances and problems of the young people....I feel like saying something with real experience...

I want to ask all the young girls who become idealistic..how many of them are ready to live with their in laws and look after them..inlaws  who are financially dependent  on you?..live with them life long...with repsect and care?

Not many will be amiable to do so..Looking after parents means sharing your money,time, and all other resources, making changes in your life style and having many restrictions  and sometimes forgoing your dreams too or changing their direction.

Its so easy to brand the children specially sons,..... but I know the pains and travails of the children who do so..because I have been doing it..and here are inlaws who were not even good to the same DILs and did all they could to make their life uncomfortable and miserable, but when their time comes they and the world with them wants the sons to look after them, pamper them etc etc..why? and make the children feel guilty..

I refuse to have such beliefs..I have been looking after my MIL even now when we ourselves are senior citizens(me almost), though she was never good to me but I take care of her to the best of my capabilities because thats what is taught to us....but today I resent her presence in my life because I am at the fag end of life and cant wait to live it..and I refuse to feel guilty for such feelings...

Its the duty of parents also to see that they dont misbehave with the girls they are to live later on...secondly they should always maintain one place where they can retreat for some time, it will rejuvenate both them and children...Dependent parents should also learn to adjust...and whatever they can, they should do to bring comfort to their children.They shouldnt always think about themselves only..

Many parents who are not financially sound will say , when we have nothing what can we do..but money is not the only thing you can give, you have a heart..make it loving, care for your children..dil se...and help them with their work..make a place in their heart...but nobody will do that, they want to be accepted for what they are, but want children to change for them..

Wherever parents are wealthy,they should never give all the wealth to their children..no.. keep it with you, make a will....let them make their life on their own...they will learn the values in life...

Its all in the mind..once you start thinking positively,you can make your life yourself...whether its parents or children..and I dont ever want anyone to stop living because of me....If I am lacking in physical strength or financial independence, the repercussions should be 80% on me and 20% on children,not the vice versa...If I am physically semi independent or dependent, and  have money I must keep a care giver to look after me and my personal idiosyncrasies , and If I cant afford,I must accept the situation and make peace..same for finances, if I am financially dependent, I must learn not to demand anything, or very little and the same set of values go for children and everyone...Its called living life to the best of your capabilities.....

Reality check:)

 an AAP volunteer came to me - Do you reside here, please vote for AAP.

I - (Smiled and asked) Do you know Nina Nayak ?

He - Yeah she is.. she is..... and then he searched his bag to check her profession (He didnt know obviously). After finding the printed template says she is an activist.

I - do you know your activist candidate wanted the Juvenile Rapist of Nirbhaya case to get away because of social background of the rapist? She also wants reservation in private sector.

He - No no thats not correct, I will check

I - If you want i can help you with relevant information.

I - Hey, Do you know who is Babu Mathew.

He - Yeah he is our AAP candidate(confidently)

I - Do you love terrorists?
He - No, why?

I - Do you know he signed mercy petition of terrorist Ajmal Kasab.
He - Thats not correct, I will check

I - By the way, what do you think of Prashant Bhushan
He - (Rather quickly in between) See it was just a statement

I - No no dont worry i am not even talking Kashmir statement, we know his point of view very well. Anyways.

I - Wanted to ask what do you think about "Bhagat Singh" What are your views
He - Bhagat Singh was a freedom fighter

I - But your Prashant Bhushan feels otherwise, he thinks Bhagat Singh was a terrorist
He - (In disbelief) No thats not correct. I will check

I - He fought a case in court to ensure that NCERT books dont remove "Bhagat Singh was a terrorist". That means he feels strongly about it.

a pat on his shoulder while leaving and told him that i have nothing against you , all i want you to be aware whom you support on the name of "Systemic change". He smiled, "I will check".

source..facebook

Maid Woes

Getting a good domestic help is a big blessing of god, though I consider myself lucky that I have never been left in a lurch...but then never something too satisfactory even..some of my acquaintances keep saying that they wouldnt change their flat because they have got a perfect maid...perfect is too much and dont why coming too much in my posts:)..will have to take care..nothing is ever perfect...

I had this one who was good, talked to the point and regular too and I really cared for her, but then one fine day she traded me for her other employer's convenience, and forgot all I did:(..I still feel like asking her why....

Then there was another one  who was good in work, but demanded lot of things, but it was fine with me, then she started taking lot of leave, and once I deducted from her pay, then she came with a story that her daughter had some problem in brain and needed an MRI, I gave her 500/...and after that saw her no more....:)

In between there were some inconsequential ones...

Then I had this one who cooked for me,just a passable fare with no intention of learning anything...but whenever I went away she took care of everything..I mean all other work also if the other one was absent..that was quite important, as my MIL is very old and my hubby thought of her very considerate..but then she always took three times the money from me when I came back.unfortunately she had a fracture, and I couldnt get anybody for temporary job, so had to employ a new one, as I couldnt manage 2 months, earlier her husband had heart attack then I had managed for 20 days ...and helped her with some money too...this time too I gave her some money but couldnt keep her job...
In similar situation what should be done, because I feel guilty...of not supporting her in hours of her need..

This one was very intelligent, understood everything very fast and worked well, but she was very irregular in her timings and took too many leave and then sometimes at a time 10 days too, which is too much to adjust. She charged reasonably though but always wanted  6 months salary in advance.Since I am not a person who will ask everyday for every work and supervise, she suited me very well..I helped her a lot in everything but then she thought of me as a naive person and started taking advantage of me and left...

She is very regular without any leave but work is not so good and not very perceptive to my demands.She is pricey, but she is ready to do everything and some extra work also and knows cooking too, top of that good in Hindi.But one thing pinches me that she is charging 500/ extra from me for the same work that she is doing in other houses, and still puts in less time in my place than others..

One thing exasperates me here when I come to know that helpers think that north Indians pay easily and have lot of money, so they always demand more from us and always want to exploit us...its a pathetic thinking....

what to do..could anyone help me?

Return of the fundamentalist...Mohsin Hamid

I got this book, because I wanted to read and know how a Pakistani thinks....The story runs exactly the same way it does in White Tiger by Arvind Adiga, whereas Arvind is telling his story to Chinese premier, here the writer is telling his story to American tourist in Lahore.

The protagonist goes to US for further studies, admires their free ,fair and good systems, their colleges, their corporate world, almost everything it provides,makes use of it, enjoys the perks and still he resents US.And after 9/11, instead of feeling empathy, he is more against them and whenever any of his colleague asks him to conform , even for little things, he doesnt do it and returns ultimately. He thinks that US must side with Pakistan in any conflict with India and warn India. India is the big belligerent neighbour.....etc..

I cant believe why some people keep on saying that Pakistani leaders create trouble, but an ordinary citizen there is not like that, I think all the people there have been brainwashed into thinking bad of India.

Perspective

There is this perfect  joint family..atleast outsiders seem to think so..parents and  children living together in harmony..

whenever other parents see them they say...Their children are so respectful, so hard working..they are so lucky to have such children in today's times,and their DILs, so respectful and always asking them and looking after them so lovingly...(big sigh)...Here mine..she is so lazy and extravagant with no respect for elders....

Whenever the young people see them, they say....what a liberal family, their parents are so supporting and understanding, they dont interfere at all,..ek hamaare hain...They are always sitting on our head, asking everything, demanding so much that we have no time for our selves...:(

Its only perspective , we see what we want to see...

A perfect family can never be made by either parents or children , it has to be joint effort.
Parents should try to be as independent as possible and should'nt try to know and interfere in every little detail of their children's life....Its their life, let them live with all mistakes and all....Let them face the consequences of their actions, instead of try to warn them..they wouldnt understand...

And children should never be rude and disrespectful to their parents, if they cant do anything, they must explain and try to make them understand.And make provision for all their parent's requirements.They should treat them as part of family, not extra or burden.

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