First it was Orkut, then FB and now whats APP..anybody and everybody is into it and people forward the messages without reading properly or understanding the message and sometime create mayhem:):). Recently one of my sis forwarded a message...a very simple one where it was extolled that women should look after themselves TOO..only then they can look after the family...People took it as women should give self first preference everything else comes later...
Now the circle or label of people who are in Whats app and all is such that its very difficult to find women who are sacrificing themselves or being dominated by men..so such messages are totally useless here. Even in earlier generations I have seen many old women who kept a facade of all giving type but they were not actually so....I have seen that before serving everyone they took out the portion for themselves, because in a big family nothing may be left when they eat..not bad..actually they were prudent. Then I saw many who would eat the goodies when children were out, it was the men pampering their women.....Then I saw many women keeping fruits and dry fruits more for themselves, sometimes it was due to health reasons..but even if I am sick I wouldnt partake anything without giving it to my children and family..whatever I can afford, I would like to share...
Then I see the old mothers wanting to be put first in priority in everything....for me if there ever arises a situation where my son and I both need something, be it food or medicine or anything else, I will ask it to be given to my son first, because he is young and needs the best care as he has many responsibilities to take care of, as for me I have lived my life well, my children are settled, so a little delay wouldnt matter, and at present stage I wouldnt like me to be first priority, it should be the next generation.......but I see that in most of the families old parents be they 75 or 95 delight themselves in being the first priority..so how are they sacrificing themselves?
A good society needs people who are compassionate and take care of others, think about others,and wherever self comes first or self gratification is the most important thing, it deteriorates,we bring up the generation without ethics and integrity. yes we shouldnt let ourselves be exploited, but we should never let self interest take over everything..
And please forward those messages only which you believe in otherwise you are spreading something even you dont believe in...
Now the circle or label of people who are in Whats app and all is such that its very difficult to find women who are sacrificing themselves or being dominated by men..so such messages are totally useless here. Even in earlier generations I have seen many old women who kept a facade of all giving type but they were not actually so....I have seen that before serving everyone they took out the portion for themselves, because in a big family nothing may be left when they eat..not bad..actually they were prudent. Then I saw many who would eat the goodies when children were out, it was the men pampering their women.....Then I saw many women keeping fruits and dry fruits more for themselves, sometimes it was due to health reasons..but even if I am sick I wouldnt partake anything without giving it to my children and family..whatever I can afford, I would like to share...
Then I see the old mothers wanting to be put first in priority in everything....for me if there ever arises a situation where my son and I both need something, be it food or medicine or anything else, I will ask it to be given to my son first, because he is young and needs the best care as he has many responsibilities to take care of, as for me I have lived my life well, my children are settled, so a little delay wouldnt matter, and at present stage I wouldnt like me to be first priority, it should be the next generation.......but I see that in most of the families old parents be they 75 or 95 delight themselves in being the first priority..so how are they sacrificing themselves?
A good society needs people who are compassionate and take care of others, think about others,and wherever self comes first or self gratification is the most important thing, it deteriorates,we bring up the generation without ethics and integrity. yes we shouldnt let ourselves be exploited, but we should never let self interest take over everything..
And please forward those messages only which you believe in otherwise you are spreading something even you dont believe in...
12 comments:
Renu this a very thought provoking post. There are some women who are greedy in this respect.Generally I have found women take food, goodies etc in the end.
Renu it is a world wide dispensation that emotions of love,nurture and protection are strongest when they flow downwards i.e the love of parents for their progeny is not returned by the children with the same force,but reserved for their own kids;this insures propagation of species.
That is why when mothers demand first priority it jars--perhaps it is to assuage their doubts about their children's affections.But nothing is pristine today,so it becomes difficult to interpret such instances.
But yes,self care is important,we must not neglect it.
yes agree with you
one should forward message only after reading and understanding it
I am getting sick and tired of this whatapp too.. especially people forwarding messages without reading and some of the videos that are passed on .. yesterday I got a video of someone being shot dead..
or of some accident .. i mean what sort of humans are we passing and having a laugh at another human's death
Bikram's
Sacrifices always will have a darker side. don't they?
All sacrifices will extract more than their-pound of flesh at a later date.
Something out of one's volition may be a better quality.
Usha Menon: I dont find anything degrading in taking everything at the end, because its me who is running the kitchen, so it becomes mandatory for me to see that everyone else gets their fill:)
Indu Chhibber: Yes self care is important Induji, I also agree, but not at the cost of others,I would love it if we think of others first but if thats not possible then all should be equal..no one first or second..
Secondly I feel that being elder means giver,only then one can expect respect..takers nevr get it in life..
sm: Thanks!
Bikram: Exactly..its like naye naye mulla ha:)..people dont even understand what is worth sharing and their responsibility in that..
Anil Kurup: very true...Thats why I dont like the word sacrificing used for any one be it parents or anyone else...
I am one of those rare cases who still doesn't have a smartphone, so no Apps for me, What or not :)
Coming to sacrifice, the better word would be giving, I think. In our house, I always believe in sharing and when one of us knows that another likes something a lot, we voluntarily offer it from our share and don't give more portion of the stuff to the one who loves it. That way, sharing is emphasised.
The title was a bit misleading :) Yes everyone and their dog is on whatsapp.. i quite like it since i can share pics of my kid :)
i do not judge people in this respect since my yardsticks might be different from theirs.
I agree that many women (and men) cleverly project themselves as being selfless, always sacrificing for the sake of others, etc..
As far as priority for treatment, etc. is concerned, I think it should be decided based on the merit of each situation.
The whatsapp message about "women should look after themselves TOO..only then they can look after the family" is misunderstood and twisted by many people. I interpret it as: don't neglect yourself. Of course, as you rightly said, the women who are WhatsAppers are not likely to be the type who neglect themselves. There are many women who neglect themselves for the sake of their families, but these women don't have the time or money to become WhatsAppers.
Yes whatsapp has become the next in thing. But I love whatsapp, more than the other means. It helps me stay in touch with family, cousins back in India very easily. It has also helped us friends stay in touch even though we are in different countries.
But agree with you. Some forwards are sent without reading or understanding properly.
Zephyr:...see the advantage of being a writer:)..you have come up with the right word..giving..sharing..they are the mantra for good family.
Amrita:..I am always at a loss when giving the title:)
Even i like whats app:)
Proactive india.com: yes you are hundred percent right..thats what exactly i wanted to say..
Avada kedavra: Even i like Whats App..but dont like spreading something I dont believe in..
Very true! There is nothing use in sharing, when we aren’t sure or agree with things. I think as they grow older, some people’s attitude becomes childish according to their mindset.
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