Just now read the a post by fellow blogger and it made me think on the same point in my way.Most of the time it is said that shun the negative people, dont be near them or dont be near people who make you feel abused, or unhappy or hurt you.. whatever.. but is it always possible.Suppose you have such people in your immediate family..then what to do.so my coping strategies are.....of course with difficult people:)....
First we must introspect.where we can change ourselves. Most of the time we like people who are like us. For example, I am a very meticulous,cleanliness freak and very economical in everything. Now I want everyone to be like that and those who are not they irritate me or frustrate me.And I want to change them to my thinking..but is it possible to change anyone? so what can be done is..I will have to change myself if I want to be stress free in life.The very first thing I must understand is that I cant run everyone's life. I am free to do what I want in my life, but I shouldnt impose my thinking on others. They may be extravagant, they may waste the resources..but its their life, they are charting their future, why am I trying to be god?.
Now there are some people who cant discuss anything peacefully, they get aggressive and they are the ones who know everything and they are always right:)..let them be, why try to correct them..what will we get?..I have stopped going in details...
I have seen some people living in stress and giving lot of stress to other, only because of one thing..they want everybody either to be perfect or like them..they cant accept that even they are not perfect..and god has never made two people similar, but everyone is unique in her/his own way.Desire to control others always brings disaster..
Be happy and make others happy..thats the way to live..
First we must introspect.where we can change ourselves. Most of the time we like people who are like us. For example, I am a very meticulous,cleanliness freak and very economical in everything. Now I want everyone to be like that and those who are not they irritate me or frustrate me.And I want to change them to my thinking..but is it possible to change anyone? so what can be done is..I will have to change myself if I want to be stress free in life.The very first thing I must understand is that I cant run everyone's life. I am free to do what I want in my life, but I shouldnt impose my thinking on others. They may be extravagant, they may waste the resources..but its their life, they are charting their future, why am I trying to be god?.
Now there are some people who cant discuss anything peacefully, they get aggressive and they are the ones who know everything and they are always right:)..let them be, why try to correct them..what will we get?..I have stopped going in details...
I have seen some people living in stress and giving lot of stress to other, only because of one thing..they want everybody either to be perfect or like them..they cant accept that even they are not perfect..and god has never made two people similar, but everyone is unique in her/his own way.Desire to control others always brings disaster..
Be happy and make others happy..thats the way to live..
14 comments:
You said it, Renu! Be happy and make others happy, as much as you can! All of us can live peacefully!
Yes this makes a lot of sense the answer to minimize stress is to look within and smartly change our approach.
P.S. A few of my earlier comments do not appear :(
Sandhya:yes with a little understanding we can live peacefully...
Dilip:Thanks Dilip ! and sorry for the comments, sometimes I forget to moderate the comments..
stress, I think breeds mainly from insecurity and over ambition. meditation is awesome to beat stress! Nice post!
(my personal views)
Renu you are right that we cannot change others.But when you say that you should change yourself as a result-there i beg to differ with you.My choice is to just understand and accept that they are the way they ARE.So i prefer to tolerate those differences.As you have said later on,everybody is made differently.
I would change myself only when i found myself in the wrong.If a kin is spendthrift or untidy i would never change my own criteria of how i should live.I agree with you that peace can be established by letting them live in their own way.
Ankita:very true, but how many people understand.
indu chhibber:..sorry Induji..you are right, I couldnt explain it well. I nevr change myself,only instead of grudging them i try to be accepting or may be being indifferent.
in my personal experience, I couldnt bring peace otherwise...though still I find it disconcerting but its much better than living in continuous stress
I think what you meant was that we should ignore the actions of others if it causes stress or just stop reacting to them, right? Sometimes, even not reacting causes stress as it is working in the mind. So it is best to learn to ignore such actions. One wise man I know says, 'Agar wo galat kartein hain to wo unka karam hai. Aur mera karam hai wahi karna jo theek hai.' Of course, sometimes as elders we need to point out if some wrong is being done and then pull back. If they listen, fine. If they don't, then it is their 'karam.' :)
u are right here. but some of the people realy understands the main idea. it`s all about how we deall with our day to day stuff. my page at reduceri haine online
Good point Renu. Even we tried very hard we would never succeed in changing others, and we should not even try, for it would bring only misery to us. We also have many irritating things that may not be liked by others. So live and let live, for all five fingers are not the same, and still they are made like that for a reason.
The change that happen is only from being critical and intolerant to becoming tolerant and understanding.
Everyone is unique and different in perspective but there are certain things very common for everybody and when one could not follow it begins the problem.
'Live and let live', should be our credo! A nice post!
Very true, If we cannot change them we either need to ignore them, or if they are important to us, be tolerant. There is absolutely nothing else that can be done. Why live whatever years are left to us in stress and be unhappy and cause unhappiness?
Be happy and make others happy
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nice post agree with you
Zephyr:I am giving all this gyan to convince myself only..because practically its very difficult to live with the people who have a totally different mindset..
Pointing out anything brings arguements and unpleasantness, tolerating everything and keeping quite is not an easy task..quite stressful too...
Rama: True..and I think to live peacefully we need to live on our own..
Ashwini C.N.: that would be the best thing, but its so difficult to control our mind..
Jeevan: You nailed it jeevan..people who dont follow even basic protocol they bring misery all around.
Rahul Bhatia: Thanks!
Radha: true..I am trying to follow that but sometimes it becomes so difficult..that I think inthe old age we must live on our own only..
sm:Thanks:)
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