ON face book I get many posts saying.I love my parents and wish them to live 100 yrs..And i start thinking..its my brain which makes me think everything....why do they wish their parents to live 100 years...because most of the time a person above 90 cant be very independent and needs children to look after him/her, whereas their children will also be at that time in the age group of late 60;s or early 70's, and they themselves may be in need of care..of course its all probability only..some people may be fit and fine after 90 and may be independent also..but i am talking in general...How many children are able to take care of their parents for 40 years....barely minimum no. of people..most of the children get fed up after 15 yrs..They want an independent life...and there is nothing wrong with it..its a tiresome journey to look after somebody your whole life..even if he/she is your parent.
So get real..why wish something like this which is totally hypothetical..why not wish your parents a happy, healthy and respectful life..irrespective of years.
Even for myself I never wish for a long life for myself, instead I wish to be useful to somebody and live an independent life..I have no desire to see my grandchildren, then their childhood, then their marriage.....so on so forth...the list goes on...
So get real..why wish something like this which is totally hypothetical..why not wish your parents a happy, healthy and respectful life..irrespective of years.
Even for myself I never wish for a long life for myself, instead I wish to be useful to somebody and live an independent life..I have no desire to see my grandchildren, then their childhood, then their marriage.....so on so forth...the list goes on...
13 comments:
You are absolutely right. Even I can't understand why they would wish people to live for 100 years and more, maybe they want to sound good, that is all.
I know how tough it is for my brother and sister in law to look after my father at his age, while they themselves are nearing 70. Nobody should live upto 80 also, we must all aspire to die while we are still healthy. even I have no desire to see my grand children, and their children get married. I wish we did not extend our lives by taking so many medicines just to stay alive after a period. I know many would think I am mad, but that is the stark reality, and it is time we faced it.
You asked “why do they wish their parents to live 100 years” It is a form of expressing affection to old parents on their birthday. If that is not appropriate, do you want people to say “Happy Birthday Mom/Dad. Pray God you drop dead before your next birthday’?
After a long time Renu!
We all wish to end our lives while still walking,seeing hearing etc,etc;but nothing is in our hands.It is true that children-read 60+ -have a tough time managing the care of their parents along with everything else but no solution appears in sight.
I totally agree with you .. indeed wish them to have a HEALTHY and HAPPY life .. and I am sure if one is healthy and happy they will always live much longer...
Bikram's
My mother was just 72 when she died. She was cooking and doing the morning household work until one month before she died. Suddenly she fell down in the bathroom and then was very unstable while walking. She could not go into the kitchen to cook so, was very upset. When I went to my brother's pace to meet her she was asking me to pray for her early death. Since she was feeling like a burden to her son's family, she didn't wanted to live. She died within a month, but one month was hell for her. She was bed ridden. When she asks us to pray for her, we can just keep quiet. Now, I know why she was desperate to leave us. Old age is hell if you are not healthy. But we always wish everyone should be with us always, esp. parents.
Oh yes. The pondering made me write a whole series of posts on elder care :) The most important thing for elders is to begin learning detachment from things that bring on unhappiness, including from intruding into the lives of family members and children.
W.r.t your previous post, it is indeed sad the kind of media news that gets TRPs.
When ISRO successfully launched GSLV a few weeks ago, the great achievement was ignored in favour of a sickening Indrani Mukherjee case ... Throughout the day, the channels played the case over and over again. No sign of the launch anywhere. Disgusting.
Obviously everyone look for a space as individual and to spend a part of their life in taking care of someone quite is not easy. I see children even at their age of 40 are not ready to take care of their old age parents. My maternal grandparents are staying with us for the last 3 month, as their home is under construction and my grandfather being a Parkinson patient, I find it very difficult for my grandma to take care of him. Being here, we all support her but her intention to stay along or close with her son should to be difficult for them as he and his family doesn’t seems to show much interest in adopting or helping them.
I so agree with you... More than the no. of years, what matters is how healthily and happily we live... :)
Dear Renu,why no replies?
Rama Ananth;Such wishes and thoughts come mostly from young people who so far havent done anything for anyone..let the time come and then see what they wish:)
SG: Sorry SG its not bday wish, but even if it is why not wish for a happy healthy and a life with dignity..whats wrong with that..
indu chhibber: Induji..even if there are some solutions, not many are interested in listening..nobody wants to adjust, everyone wants others to adjust..and i am sorry for no replies, sometimes I just dont know how to express myself..
Bikram:Yes, thats they way..
Sandhya: You and me and people of our age who are doing or have seen people doing can only empathise with the situation, for all the young people who dont have any need to do anything, they can say anything..Show me 10 families who are happily looking after the dependent parents...you will find it very difficult to find even five..
Zephyr: true..Thats what people fail to understand.
Deepa:..Media is loosing all the respect..they are not informing but entertaining.
Jeevan: This is the truth of life, but people want to live with blinkers on.
Loco mente:I dont think that dependent life is better than going..Life is all about living not passing the days.
Once old age creeps in and if one is not healthy enough to look after yourself then things can get ugly. It is not in everyone to be caring and serving..although they can at least try. I know of a doctor couple who just to keep their mother alive left her in the care of a nursing home even when she was almost in a coma stage. All hooked up to machines and stuff. They could have easily taken her to the foreign country they had settled down but never did or at least let her die a normal death. I think their visits were yearly or so. What is the use of keeping your parents alive if you cannot be at their side? Is it not better to give them release they hope for? Or maybe no one wants to die..whatever be the stage or age?
Happy Kitten: No people are always hypocritical, they say something and do something else,,I see in my own family that nobody is happy living with old parents..
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