Monday, March 1, 2021

Old age a blessing or

 Whenever I see people wishing old people many more years, I really wonder if they are really that naive to think that more years are blessings or Am I too skeptical..

Because I don’t think or see many people looking after their old parents or restricting their life. I know it first hand.I have been looking after my mother-in-law forever and know how many compromises are needed, my children never had a room of their own, my finances were always stretched to the best . And myself and my husband couldn’t go to see even our children together for last 15 years,.and we see our life ending like that.. she is still here, though invalid and living like a vegetable, we have to give her bath food everything. She is 101 and my hubby 72 and it’s very difficult situation for him to be in. Now all his other siblings who wanted my MIL to live a long life and suggested all sort of things have just become indifferent and gone their own way, leaving us with the mess.

So I really feel that we must think about it, not that wishing makes anyone live long, but why wish something which brings misery to all.

And secondly before reaching 60, retiring age, if parents are alive, all siblings should get together and collectively decide who will take care of what and how. 

I always feel that any age is good if one is able to do one’ daily chores, beyond that nothing is blessing, only a curse. And we should wish a happy time and good health not years to anyone beyond 75.

What do you think?

17 comments:

SG said...

Actually it is a Jewish custom. They even wish Long Life when mourning a dead person. It is just a formality or courtesy.

Amrita said...

Of course old age is a curse. When there is no meaningful contribution to others or even a capability to take care of one self, that is mere existence. In the natural world, such merely existing animals die. It is the natural order of things to nurture the young and let the old perish. It is just due to medical science that we are prolonging many lives.
I may come across as very rude, but I would not want any elder of mine of myself to survive to such a point that people should wish the person is no more. My nani, takes care of herself at 82. Her brother at 85 is still practicing as a doctor for free. There was a granny in UK who was a legend in the gaming world and motivated many younger one. But being a burden on others is a sad life.
But again life and death are not in our hands :(

Renu said...

SG: I see many Indians being emotional and melodramatic as long as they don’t have to do anything.

Amrita: I totally agree with you and I don’t think it is rude but being realistic. I see that only those who don’t have to do anything become very idealistic and all.

Renu said...

SG: I see many Indians being emotional and melodramatic as long as they don’t have to do anything.

Amrita: I totally agree with you and I don’t think it is rude but being realistic. I see that only those who don’t have to do anything become very idealistic and all.

Destination Infinity said...

That part where you said kids should get-together and decide on how responsibilities will be shared will never happen. At least not in a way that is fair to all.

But just remember that life instills fairness in its own way, irrespective of how clever or talented people are. Karma is inevitable.

Destination Infinity

indu chhibber said...

Renu you are very frank.I don't know what to say.I would not like to be a burden on anyone but health and age are not in our hands.
But certainly we must look after our elders,no matter how tough it may be.Yes,not all siblings share the responsibility.I wonder what their conscience says to them.
Nice post Renu.

khushi said...

I feel it is not about age. It is more about being "not dependent" on anyone, at least for the basic chores of life.

It could be a curse if someone is dependent for everything, even at an age of 25 and is a blessing if someone is independent at an age of 90. My granny, she's 97 and can do almost everything. Prefers to stay alone on her own. Visits only when she needs a regular checkup, and that too only for a couple of days. In fact, my family wants her to stay with everyone, but he prefers to stay on her own in the house. The best part is she can sit for 8 hours straight without support, while people like us, or our parents, they need back support, if w have to sit like this.

Shilpa said...

My honest answer is regardless of the age they should be taken care . Nobody wanted my falls sick or sit idle . Also why I feel this is because my mother died when she was 32 and father when he was 48 . If they were alive even til 201 I would have taken care of them . We siblings value every human who has their parents or elders at home and we really feel they are blessed . Opinions differ . This is from my perspective.

my space said...

How are you Renuji? So glad to see you blog still...I am trying to revive my blog though not very regular.

Old age can be very demanding and yes we should wish one healthy life and not necessarily a long life.
There`s a prayer we recite in my language-roughly translated it says- lord bless me with a life where I manage my own affairs and not be dependent on anyone...

Renu said...

Destination infinity: yes but people should try to be fair , at least to their family

Renu said...

Indu Chhibber: yes I say everything upfront.There is no denying that parents should be looked after but depending on the age of children, ways could be different, like people in 70’s can’t do work personally

Renu said...

Khushi: very true! But due to longevity, looking after parents by old children is becoming a problem. I would like to grow old like ur granny. Way to live👍👍

Renu said...

Shilpa; I m not saying that one shouldn’t take care of parents , I m only suggesting ways to manage. Everyone values family parents but then if anything goes beyond a point it looses it’s importance

Renu said...

My space; so happy to see u here,, I always missed u. Even I m not very regular now , but pl keep posting.

Shails said...

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Shails said...

As elders in my family have passed away, I value them more.I wish I had done more for them. But completely agree that if one is bedridden and is unable to do their daily chores , that life is very hard for that person and doubly hard for their caregivers.

Renu said...

Shails :when we love someone , that regret is always there that we could do more. Today I feel the same for my children that I could do more for them when they were younger.But looking after invalid parents is a very tough situation. It’s day to day problem for middle class.

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