Day out in Zurich

 Though we have been to every place so many time’s, still it’s fun to go out on your own. We took 12.45 train from Horgen Oberdorf to Zurich B. It cost us 14.50 CHF for one ticket of first class ( to avoid crowd).It’s a very scenic journey through Thalwill, rushlicon etc and takes around 20 minutes. Here ticket is balance d for 2 hours in all mode of transport in certain zones.

We got down and started walking on Banhofstrasse .. very popular street with all designer brands, just name it and it is there.

We took a stroll all the way to Jelmoli..big store and outside took falafel wrap.. it’s 14.50CHF with cold drink.Then we went to old town. I just love walking those cobbled streets beside lake. Then we took a tomato cheese baked bun type. It was for 5 CHF.

Then we strolled to Bellevue for Movenpick, one stacettella for me , it’s so creamy and tasty, I just love it,it’s 4.50 CHF

And then we went to Bürkliplatz to take ship tour for one hour, it’s 4 CHF for general and 7 for first class. It’s a very scenic route in Zurich lake.water, mountain , greenery and flowers all in abundance..

One new thing I saw here is that in some restaurants a QR code is there in centre of table, just scan and see menu.

Family katta

 Recently I saw two Marathi movies, actually I like them because generally they depict normal people , normal life, not over the top.

This is about a septuagenarian couple living in a beautiful house in Lonavla. For their 50 th anniversary they invite their children.. 3 sons and one daughter for a family get together. It’s all about their preparations and how children react and then husband dies in the morning only.. as here I see in life also most of the times siblings grow up to be like rivals and always jealous of each other specially brothers, so I don’t understand why people want more children , so that they will have someone of their own to care.

Second one I saw is Bonus.. it’s part fun part cliche, a wealthy boy lives in a chaal for one month to prove his point. Very stereotype people, all poor are good from heart, help each other whereas I have seen lots of time that poor are not kind to their type.secondly changing everything about the rich.. so much so that hero is vegan and he is asked to break his principles and eat meat.. I found it totally unreasonable and foolish.if that was so, why poor want to earn and be rich,but first time saw such a dashing hero in regional movie.. he is very handsome , well dressed and acted well.

Virgin River

Lately due to lock down I have been watching lot of movies and series .and few I really liked. I don’t have a liking for too much violence or gore though I like spying tales something about a few personal favourites

Covert affairs…. This is a series on Amazon prime. It’s about CIA operations and what I loved about it is that every episode is filmed in a different country, main cast is very good and lot of advanced technology is seen , which I never knew about.

Virgin River..Its on Netflix. The story happens in a quaint small town, such a dreamy place to live.. exotic beauty, all people know each other and help each other and there is just one bar cum cafe, one doctor only

Chesapeake shores.. again a small place near Baltimore, here one sees the consequences of making indecent choices after marriage or should I say thinking for self only. I find in most of American series that when young people think about self only, not kids or spouse and when they grow old, they want to make amends and in the processs children are traumatised and face multiple problems

What we carry..

 This is a memoir by Maya shanbagh Lang. It’s an amazing book , I was so engrossed that I finished it in two days. It’s the story from the perspective of a girl about her parents and then her daughter. Maya is the daughter of a psychiatrist mother and engineer father, they migrated to US in 70’s. Her father is a very dominating and uncaring sort of person who is always angry and sometimes cruel to her. Her mother talks to her and she has a very strong bond with her but later on when her mother gets Alzheimer’s, and she cares for her , she realises that her mother never saved her in any crucial situation and thru a story wanted to say that any woman who puts herself first in any condition is not selfish and May be she manages life best and she was not very truthful even.

Ultimately she puts her mother in assisted living and it’s her journey from a daughter who always looks up to her mother to a mother who is is very honest with herself and her daughter and about the choices one has to make in life , sometimes initially it looks bad but they are best in the end.

A very good and must read.

Part 2

 I think in my last post I was not able to put myself clearly because some got the idea that I m suggesting one shouldn’t look after the parents. How could I say that? I m all for good moral values in every thing in life. 

What I am saying is that today due to longevity I see in many houses one invalid parent at least and not everybody can afford to have maids looking after them, I know it , I kept in Chennai for day time and she charged 750/ a day,in the night my hubby took care, though he was working in day from 8 to 7 full time, so the situation is quite grim which nobody realised unless they have to face it, And one needs to find a solution to keep sane.

And in that free discussion is very important in family and in society also, everyone loves parents but there.comes a time in life when you can’t do everything yourself because you are not physically strong enough to do that however u want to do it.

So we must realise that when one reaches retirement , one should be free of all responsibilities, be it children or parents. If anyone still needs you, try to settle them..

For parents also save  from day one , like you save for all other things and then when the time comes , set them in a good care., there are many such places now a days, quite professional and even elderly get better care than at home

Old age a blessing or

 Whenever I see people wishing old people many more years, I really wonder if they are really that naive to think that more years are blessings or Am I too skeptical..

Because I don’t think or see many people looking after their old parents or restricting their life. I know it first hand.I have been looking after my mother-in-law forever and know how many compromises are needed, my children never had a room of their own, my finances were always stretched to the best . And myself and my husband couldn’t go to see even our children together for last 15 years,.and we see our life ending like that.. she is still here, though invalid and living like a vegetable, we have to give her bath food everything. She is 101 and my hubby 72 and it’s very difficult situation for him to be in. Now all his other siblings who wanted my MIL to live a long life and suggested all sort of things have just become indifferent and gone their own way, leaving us with the mess.

So I really feel that we must think about it, not that wishing makes anyone live long, but why wish something which brings misery to all.

And secondly before reaching 60, retiring age, if parents are alive, all siblings should get together and collectively decide who will take care of what and how. 

I always feel that any age is good if one is able to do one’ daily chores, beyond that nothing is blessing, only a curse. And we should wish a happy time and good health not years to anyone beyond 75.

What do you think?

East or West

 Today on Twitter I saw few deriding west and all that . I don’t agree that everything in west is bad and here everything is all hunky dory in families. Good and bad people are everywhere.. and certain ways of doing things are different.

Good things which I like about western culture..

Individuality is encouraged, one is given lot of choices in everything. And independence is cultivated. And it is taught from the very beginning the concept of give and take, like if someone is kind to you, you also return it in some way and in very small small things.

children leave home early and make their own life, so they don’t feel obligation to look after parents but in general most of them care and do.

What I don’t want us to emulate is 

They give too much freedom to adolescents and too much exposure to sex, teenage pregnancies are biggest problem in any society. I feel that one should do only when one can take the consequences.otherwise whole life goes for a toss and a dysfunctional generation is born.

Secondly marriages shouldn’t be taken lightly, never marry in haste and repent at leisure. And divorce shouldn’t be a first option if you have kids ,multiple marriages and kids from that bring so many negative influences. I would advise not to marry unless you have patience to compromise.or don’t have children in multiple marriages.

In India basically our culture is good and very selfless but it has its own problem. Because however we may adulate parents, they are not very fair and impartial. Of course they look after children selfless ly in childhood( though not all parents do even that) they take their pound of flesh with their grown up children.Our society  puts lot of pressure on children to take care of their parents financially, emotionally and physically and here I differ, I feel it’s a two way street, where parents should also get down from their high chair and be nice to their son family and they also have equal responsibility to make others happy.

I see many parents who want to run everything their own way , if they are living together. They must take retirement from active participation in everything.