I feel very sad at the thought of this generation going so haywire....though lot of factors are contributing to this aggression, but the most responsible for all this are parents.....
Parents are over pampering the kids, giving them everything what they demand is making them soft target. They cant handle a no from any quarter.
Its a wake up call for all young parents...pleaseeeeeeeeeee.....dont think that indulging the child is love....You are all taking the easy way out, because giving in is much easier than holding and telling the children whys. who can invest so much time?....
Give the children what they need, not what they want, they will also reach a age when they can indulge..everything has a time....teach them delayed gratification, good behaviour, discipline and family values..but for that parents themselves have to change and change the philosophy of their life that life is to enjoy, or self comes before everything else.Teach them to adjust and compromise..they are not bad words.
Teach them to value people more than the things....respect a person for his/her knowledge and manners and values, not for his car, house and clothes or position.
Today if a child is arrogant and rude,or girls/boys not able to cook anything, parents tell others with a pride, instead of feeling ashamed,.....koi bhi kaam agar nahi aata to yeh koi badi baat nahi ha....nothing to be proud of.....whether we do or not, it will depend on the circumstances but we should know all the basic work we need in our daily life.
We need to overhaul our mental system too...
16 comments:
It's not entirely the fault of parents. Today the society itself has become so different than before that all the children now want and try to 'fit in'.
Many times, it so happens that children lie to their parents because they don't have enough freedom to do what they want.
What I am saying is, parents should love and fulfill the wishes of their children, but in some limit.
The world is becoming very competitive and the parents are not able to cope with it... while what the boy did can never be justified, one should ask why he did so.
Is it because the present world idolize violence?
No role models?
The nation and it's schools need to wake up and do more. Not every child can become a first ranker.. specially when parents do not have the time or the inclination to listen to their child.
Enigma:True..not entirely, but lot of blame goes on parents only, as they are the only people who can teach and spend maximum time with children.
Happy Kitten:..The teacher had written 13 times in his report book about failing in tests..imagin 13 times, why parents didnt ever check or did something about it?
Statement
Killing of teacher by child is not right in any way. Somewhere, something is wrong.
Child rearing - Way 1
Parents instruct child. Do this. Tell the truth. Respect elders. Delays giving gift. Shall give only when improvement is there.
In other words, controlling by fear.
Child rearing - Way 2
Parents inculcates the child to do things on her own. To discover things. To know what is correct and what is not for herself. In other words, controlling by love.
Observation
During the incident with teacher, parents are not there.
Child brought by Way 1 do not have parents to tell what to do. Child is confused. Fate may have taken over !!
Child brought by Way 2 do not need parents to tell them what to do. Because they have been doing things on their own. No chance of fate taking over.
Conclusion
You may not be able to point where what is wrong in Way 1. Correction not possible.
You may be able to point where what is wrong in Way 2. Correction is possible.
Hence it can be concluded that Way2 takes towards a better society because correction is possible.
And also live life and be an example.
Lovely post Renu
Kirtivasan: parenting is a very tough job, and sometimes you need to control thru fear also.but yes parents should talk more and try to make children undersatnd everything.
Vetrimagal:..this is the biggest call of today..live an exemplary life..but who has the patience and control to do that:)
A meaningful post in today's perspective, yes i agree that as parents we are most responsible for what our kids do or he/she behaves with elders or with friends.....and we must look into it so that things get better......
Renu,we should know all the basic work we need in our daily life.This is what makes the difference:)
Well said Renu - parents should be an example for kids. If they take the easy way out the kids will want to do the same.....
Irfanuddin:.yes children spend most of their time parents and will listen to them too.
Rahul Bhatia: and thats very complex:)
SRS; Welcome here SRS !..Parents have to mend themselves to bring a change.
I too was shocked to read the news. There must have been so much hatred filled inside his heart:-((
Reflections: true..but see he had 13 reprimands in his report card and still parents didnt bother:(
very true - giving in is much much easier than holding back and at times, holding back is the most important thing we can do for our child
Well said...
I am a mom of two - both toddlers now..I am a working mom.My mom took care until she stayed with us in Chennai.Family responsibilities of a mom never ends.So she had to get back to take care of her other children and husband.
And I had to fly to US due to job.I never had a good relation with my in law. But she always wanted to take care of my kids..sorry her son's kids...For first time in my life, I had to make a better decision.My parents and sisters cuddled and pampered kids more than needed.In fact they pick up fights with me when I try correcting something as wrong.And need not say all of us three siblings had some problems with any one giving negative feedback on us, because all we said and did were good to our mom and dad.It is not that we are spoil brat.But I really like the way my husband's family values relations and their advice.And I know and trusted my in law that she could take care of my kids the way she did take care of my husband.So I left them with her for now its been 5 months.I am going back next week.But I can say that she had taken excellent care of them and also our relationship has improved a lot with that decision.Everyday we talk atleast 30 minutes about kids and then about family. I respect her a lot these days because its all for our well being she accepted this task.And everyday night she assures me these words - Nothing to worry dear..you go to sleep..And my kids are obedient to their in laws too.This means my in laws can correct them from wrong doing.My husband till date pays attention to any good advise given by any one from family or friends, while I do not have that much patience and grumble at it at least after they move out of sight.I think some characters are difficult to change.Its better to nourish kids with good relations while they are still young.
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Such news coming on such a regular basis disturbs me too. Recently, I went to the annual fete of my nephew's school (he is 4). I was aghast to see the young boys and girls there. Their dressing, mannerism... everything was so different and if I may say so, at times, vulgar and rude too. A look at my nephew scared me, what if he grows up to be one of them. But then looking back at his parents, I was rest assured that this will never happen. You are right, it all depends on the parents. It's their love and upbringing which makes or breaks a child's future.
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