SASURAL GENDA PHOOL

Though i dont watch TV much, but on my trip I saw...SASURAL GENDA PHOOL, and liked it, it has a very nice story where two families are shown, one extremely proper, affectionate and nice one, whereas other one is a dysfunctional one. Main family is joint one where love flows and when a super brat girl gets married into it, all try to make her feel welcome and how she changes forms the core. The girl is shown a spoilt brat , but intelligent and affectionate, and she realises the flaws of her personality when she says, she doesnt want her child to be like her, instead a disciplined hard working one.The serial was going so well so far, but now they have spoiled it with misery..cant a story run without such things?

Then there was this Ma exchange..the same type of serial comes in US,and it was a very good one, where they change the mothers for a week  in two families with contrasting values and everything and then what positive changes come after one week form the main story..here it was petty bickering all the time like..I didnt get bread for BF etc etc.with this serial I knew how a good idea can be twisted and wasted.

Now even Koffee with Karan has also lost his charm with insipid guests and Karan in his off repeated same boring style.

Now a days I am reading Pt. Ram Sharma Acharya's literature and he says...man is made of environ ment, whatever he sees and listens forms his views, so if good thoughts are read and listened  all the time, they are seeped into our mind and they become our life style.

It's not what we eat but what we digest that makes us strong;
not what we gain but what we save that makes us rich;
not what we read but what we remember that makes us learned;
and not what we profess but what we practice that gives us integrity.”
~Francis Bacon Sr.~

I DONT NEED ANYBODY

Yes this is one sentence I keep hearing a lot and people say it with lot of arrogance, but is it really to be proud of?.I rememebr once a girl was getting married, it was love match and then just one of those tiffs happened and she says..its he who cant live without me, I can live very well. I felt a lot of pity for that couple,because they were not meant for each other.Anyone feeling like that is not worth marrying and now 20 years later they are living a farce.
Why do we say such things and what we want to prove? its only ego and nothing else. I see many......

Old dependent parents saying that they dont need children, they can live themselves....I would like to tell them that if they can do so, they why are not they doing it..why say man..do it and show it to everybody..but the fact is that they cant live......because they love their children too much. and cant manage ......because they are old, physically and sometimes financially also dependent..., but dont want to accept it ...what is the harm in giving some credit to children and make them happy?..but we will be nice to strangers and aquaintances but when its our family we become misers even in showing love and gratitude.I rarely see any parents praising their children who look after them day and night and sometimes even put their own life on backburner, they can praise those who are not doing anything for them and even living separately....but no appreciation for the ones who do everything.Whereas living together is totally different from looking after for one moth or two....I remember once my neighbour used to crib that his mother praises his brother a lot who lives in Canada and comes once in two years and gives her 1000 $, whereas he who looks after her and spends also double the amount is not good enough..why this dichotomy?

Many wives keep saying that they can live without husbands and manage well..i would like to suggest that why delay..do so..There are many marriages where husbands are providing finance and security, but wives are not ready to make homes and do their duty.They never realise that the  life style they are leading and living a life of luxury is all because of the man who is working hard to make their life comfortable and being a housewife its their duty to make a happy home for him, but they dont want to do their part of bargain..yes in traditional marriage..a man is a provider and woman homemaker...and woman are making the home a hell.....by disregarding family they came into  by their care a damn attitude and laziness.

Then i see many people today who make their parents miserable in their last stages of life and this is the worst.This is one duty we must do..yes there are ways of tackling every situation, but parents must not be made to cry because of our harsh words or rudenesss.Parents blessings always make our life smooth in so many unknown ways.If we cant do anything for them then so be it, but never ever say bad words .We must make sure that they are taken care of, even if we cant personally look after them.That is better than living together and having bitterness all the time. Its very sad to see that parents are least needed people today..nobody wants them, may be their value is realised only after their departure.

There is nothing good in saying..I dont need people..I say I dont need things, but I need people, my family, I need my children and they need their spouses , so I also need them, in the same way I need my hubby and he needs his family, so I too need them. and needing someone is not a sign of weekness.

It is better to lose our ego to one we love than lose one we love because of ego.

10 things to learn from Japan

1.      THE CALM
 Not a single visual of chest-beating or wild grief. Sorrow itself has been elevated.
2.       THE DIGNITY
Disciplined queues for water and groceries. Not a rough word or a crude gesture.
3.       THE ABILITY
The incredible architects, for instance. Buildings swayed but didn’t fall.
4.       THE GRACE
People bought only what they needed for the present, so everybody could get something.
5.       THE ORDER
No looting in shops. No honking and no overtaking on the roads. Just understanding.
6.       THE SACRIFICE
Fifty workers stayed back to pump sea water in the N-reactors. How will they ever be repaid?
7.       THE TENDERNESS
Restaurants cut prices. An unguarded ATM is left alone. The strong cared for the weak
8.      THE TRAINING
The old and the children, everyone knew exactly what to do. And they did just that.
9.       THE MEDIA
They showed magnificent restraint in the bulletins. No silly reporters. Only calm reportage.

10.   THE CONSCIENCE
When the power went off in a store, people put things back on the shelves and left quietly

Pass this to every Indian you know, at least some will follow...

I AM BACK

I have been out of circulation for so long that I dont know where to start:).And I have so much in my mind,but all muddled up also, so may be I may sound some incoherent also.I have been to UP for two months and though the reason for my sudden trip wasnt pleasant, but my trip was all in all very refreshing to me.
First time we two sisters saw a movie..TANU WEDS MANU..and what an enjoyable experience and movie it was!.I loved kangana and Madhavan both, though Kangna is just superb in her character. My brother was wondering ..how could a boy fall in love with a girl like her.( dont we know boys are dimwitted as far as girls are concerned:) what would happen to the guy who gets a girl like her:)..and  here is the contradiction  ..she has played a character which is not conventional, rather opposite of that and still looks lovable, and BTW she changes in the end...loved the song.Rangrej ne kaisa rang dala..its so situational and melodious.
Whenever I go there I finish my quota of sweets for one year at least....travelling in the train, I observe the difference in so many things..there so many cattle, bullock carts,that bhojpuri language, it sounds so musical and so much of milk and its products, and then families living together.Its only after going there i realised that certain traditions are still alive and still girls are learning cooking and doing everything better and better.

In the train I met a couple from Kanpur who were on their 10 day trip to kerala, and the boy was the only son of his wealthy businessman father, and in the conversation it came out that he finds it difficult to manage the conflict between his wife and mother:). And he wanted his wife to understand that his mother is old and set in her ways and cant change herself, and if she could adjust little more, there is no harm :)
Then there was a family..Malyali people settled in Benaras and Lucknow.Their two girls were very sweet and nice and the way the elder girl was helping her naani and looking after her,she was a blessing, I think that children like her  are a real blessing to elders in the family.They make life so pleasant.That girl got up three times in the night to support and take her naani to bathroom.May god bless her!!

ANOTHER TAG:)

My friends Sandhya and Amrita Tagged me for this..and it has been a long time, i dont even remember the details, I think it was writing about non girlish things you have done....

As you all know that I am a very traditional person, so i cant state anything extra ordinary:), let me try if I can find anything in my past or may be present...

From the age of 14 I have travelled all alone, later on with children too and then luggage, lots of that, and I could manage evrything very well. In those days not many girls were so independent specially small town ones like me.And I did really long journeys, even in summer and so many times in second class.

I can manage the finances:) and know about most of the products and can calculate the returns faster than the agents selling them. Once my brother called his agent telling him that my sis want to invest. And he thought what will you sis want to talk, she is a woman, my brother told him to come and see:)

In my college days I was considered Phantom, as i was the most fearless girl neither I cultivated many friendships, nor feared anyone.Most of the girls were interested in boys and entertainment, and I only in myself and my studies

When not many wore the pants, I wore them and every other style and now when everyone is wearing them, I dont:)

At one of my hubby's postings, I was the first woman to organise  functions and anchor them, there woman wouldnt go on stage, it was men's prerogative.women could never lead. And just challenge me for anything, I am sure to take it up:)..Impossible was never in my dictionery.

I am the first woman in my family to run a shop and that too succesfully.

I think in rest of the things I am quite feminine, love jwellery, clothes, fashion, movies, music,used to do lot of stitching, knitting, dont like pets and gadzets, but yes love books.

Now i would like to tag..Madhu,Nilu,guari Guha, Rachna,Bhagyareema and Rama

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HAM AAPKE HA KAUN

yesterday i was surfing the channels and started watching..ham aapke hain kaun/ Whenever we watch this movie..my husband always wishes that we have a family like this and the same wish was once expressed by my brother also. This is such a lovely movie.with family values and magical romance.Most of the people always think that movies show us the wrong ways and opulent living only, but if we want to see, this movie advocates many good things........

•  Dresses are all the time decent and wearable and according tot he occasions.
• The head of the family wants to marry his nephew with a good girl and when he sees his friend's sweet daughter, he finalises her.though she is not as rich as they are, so she cant bring a dowry,nor she could have been accustomed to their grand life style. But he wants a girl, who is well mannered, affectionate , intelligent and  caring from a cultured family, so who could be better than Pooja whose father is a teacher(not the modern ones)....his criteria for a life partner is best suited for a family...and he doesnt demand dowry.
• When the Bahu comes to the house, she is given the utmost respect and love and everyone is asked to make her comfortable, and entertain her, so she doesnt miss her family.....what happens in our life is that when a new girl comes, everybody thinks and declares what she would do for them , not what they are going to do . In the garb of humour, she is commented upon her looks, her family and dowry. And if she is bored, instead of entertaining, she is given some household work to engage herself.
• The bahu tries to adapt herself to the ways of new family and looks after everyone with love and care, now she is the centre of whole family, whereas in real life girls want the family to change their ways according to them, and they love only their own parents and family only..to ensconce yourself truly in a new family, its mandatory to put the other family on back burner, which not many are ready to do.
• When a child is born or the sister comes to her sasural to visit, she brings some gifts for her family and gives it with lot of love..whereas today girls dont want their parents to give anything to inlaws, and by doing so they emphasize their thinking..one that inlaws are not their own, second they believe in traditions only where it suits them...whereas these gifts are just tokens of affection, its not their cost or anything which matters, its the feelings.otherwise why have gifts on anniversaries, bdays, valentines.
• Prem And Nisha love each other, but FAMILY comes before their self interest or love, is it ever possible today..leave aside life time things, none would sacrifice even a morning sleep for family.....
• and family means that elders look after the youngsters and their interest.
• Bahu's family comes to her inlaws and their stay is memorable for their harmony.they are given lot of love and respect, and on their part, they never try to show their ownership on anything and there their daughter is first the DIL of that house and then their daughter.

A good family doesnt come free..it needs lot of hard work and adjustments from everyone.

VALUES

The biggest strength of our life are our values, traditions, relations and certain rules which we follow wheth.er we like or not। Now a days when I see people justifying everything; like saying-Ramayana is outdated or when boys are not like Rama why should girls be expected to behave like Seeta ,i feel surprised at their ignorance.Ramayana can still solve most of our problems if we go by it.
Why otherwise so many relationship management books are getting so popular or why so much importance being given to stress management.Its upto us where we find solution either going to the new age classes or going back to the roots.
Why so many youngsters are delving into spritual field and trying to find the knowledge and truth ? This is not their age to go into that specially in todays busy times when nobody has time even for families. The reason is that this generation wants to go away from the rules and regulations because they want to be free of everything ,everybody and all responsibilities.But then they are not really happy inside, so they are looking for happiness in all the things spiritual.
While in India we have earmarked the times very clearly about the different duties in a life time.And god has given us this life with a particular purpose, whereby we are given certain responsibilties and if we perform them with all our best efforts, we will certainly attain the moksha, there is no better way of finding god than leading a virtuous life. But we find that performing our duties interferes with our comforts and we cant compromise our life and thats why we go on finding spiritual knowledge and doing all pujas and everything. See everything should be done at its own place and time, like if you are supposed to look after your young child but instead of that you do pooja in that time, you will never please god.So its better to learn the right perspective and right priorities.In life everything goes together, we cant compartmentalise neither things nor people

Good relationship are like trees, they demand attention and care in the beginning but once they blossom, they provide you shade in all the situations of life.