Saturday, January 22, 2011

HAM AAPKE HA KAUN

yesterday i was surfing the channels and started watching..ham aapke hain kaun/ Whenever we watch this movie..my husband always wishes that we have a family like this and the same wish was once expressed by my brother also. This is such a lovely movie.with family values and magical romance.Most of the people always think that movies show us the wrong ways and opulent living only, but if we want to see, this movie advocates many good things........
  •  Dresses are all the time decent and wearable and according tot he occasions.
  • The head of the family wants to marry his nephew with a good girl and when he sees his friend's sweet daughter, he finalises her.though she is not as rich as they are, so she cant bring a dowry,nor she could have been accustomed to their grand life style. But he wants a girl, who is well mannered, affectionate , intelligent and  caring from a cultured family, so who could be better than Pooja whose father is a teacher(not the modern ones)....his criteria for a life partner is best suited for a family...and he doesnt demand dowry.
  • When the Bahu comes to the house, she is given the utmost respect and love and everyone is asked to make her comfortable, and entertain her, so she doesnt miss her family.....what happens in our life is that when a new girl comes, everybody thinks and declares what she would do for them , not what they are going to do . In the garb of humour, she is commented upon her looks, her family and dowry. And if she is bored, instead of entertaining, she is given some household work to engage herself.
  • The bahu tries to adapt herself to the ways of new family and looks after everyone with love and care, now she is the centre of whole family, whereas in real life girls want the family to change their ways according to them, and they love only their own parents and family only..to ensconce yourself truly in a new family, its mandatory to put the other family on back burner, which not many are ready to do.
  • When a child is born or the sister comes to her sasural to visit, she brings some gifts for her family and gives it with lot of love..whereas today girls dont want their parents to give anything to inlaws, and by doing so they emphasize their thinking..one that inlaws are not their own, second they believe in traditions only where it suits them...whereas these gifts are just tokens of affection, its not their cost or anything which matters, its the feelings.otherwise why have gifts on anniversaries, bdays, valentines.
  • Prem And Nisha love each other, but FAMILY comes before their self interest or love, is it ever possible today..leave aside life time things, none would sacrifice even a morning sleep for family.....
  • and family means that elders look after the youngsters and their interest.
  • Bahu's family comes to her inlaws and their stay is memorable for their harmony.they are given lot of love and respect, and on their part, they never try to show their ownership on anything and there their daughter is first the DIL of that house and then their daughter.
A good family doesnt come free..it needs lot of hard work and adjustments from everyone.

32 comments:

Deeps said...

"A good family doesnt come free..it needs lot of hard work and adjustments from everyone." This one line from you says it all! I love the movie HAHK.

Insignia said...

Whats depicted in that movie is too ideal to happen anywhere in reality Renu :-)

The dresses you mentioned. The costumes for that movie esp Madhuri Dixit's is made of only Satin. I wonder if its practical in our daily life.

The family, ideologies, the love, respect and care - again I doubt if its ever possible in reality.

rama said...

Yes it was a good movie, and even I enjoyed watching it.
I don't think the boy's parents would ever learn to treat their daughter in law with complete love coming from the heart. They would always be watching her like hawk and point out her mistakes, and make sarcastic remarks in front of her.
It is no point even if majority of the girls are brought up with belief that they must treat their in laws with respect and love, for despite their good behavior, they are only looked down up on. Naturally the girls too have no other go but to treat their in laws with the same bitter medicines.
Unless the elders change they cannot expect the youngsters to tolerate them.

chitra said...

Good one, I too have seen this movie . I enjoyed it thoroughly, as usual you bring the true essence of relationship and values in your blog. Great going Renu.

Amrita said...

One of my fav movies! Isnt that how movies are supposed to be? Help us escape to a world of make belief?

Rachna said...

Sweet. My husband runs miles away when he encounters such sugary, sweet stuff :).

Bikramjit said...

YEah it was a feel good movie and as u say lots of statements in the movie
all in all it was a good movie :)


Bikram's

IRFANUDDIN said...

very decent movie really... its hard to find such a family these days !!!
irfan’s

sm said...

the movie is a sugar pill.
difficult to have a such family.
like your observations

AS said...

A nice post .. all i can say is it is a lost era.

nancy said...

I love the movie....I can watch it from anywhere in between too;-D. Infact I even like Hum Saath saath hai.....yeah its a bit too sweet for everybodys liking but like u said the values expressed in it are noteworthy:-)

Renu said...

Deeps:..Most lovable characters in this movie:)

insignia; I think that impossible shouldnt be in our dicitonery...did yous ee that everybody liked the movie, but when like such characters so much why cant be we like them?

She could wear satin, as they are shown rich people, so must be living in AC houses..its the same as when I see celebrities wearing heavy stuff all the time, I know I cant, because my surroundings are not airconditioned...

Everything is possible, if we look beyond self.

Rachna: he must be a hardcore practical person:)

Bikram:Men liked it all the more, because they want a family like this:)

Irfanuddin: welcome here!...this type of family needs lot of work.

sm: difficult but not impossible.



Chitra: My mind always kep trying to analyse everything:)

Amrita:.kyon bhai, I feel you have managed a small part of this in your family.

AS: yes because of our self centred attitude.

rama: Rama, I have seen many families today where elders are doiung everything for girls, but girls are mighty arrogant and lazy ones...
So its not about elders anymore..it has to be from both the sides.

nancy: comes soon, we are waiting for you:)..Nancy we can learn from everything if we want to.

Jon said...

I am nt sure, but don't u get these families in sops nowdays..
Yes, we can put it in a wish list...very unrealistic as long as there is so much underlying tensions in a joint family

Besides Joint family has been blindly glorified by Barjatya... it isn't and hasn't been rosy in most of d cases

Amrita said...

yes of course, I have managed a small bit of it, and thank you for saying thus....but then see na, every body is with values and is nice there, its a bit difficult to have it in every scenario practically.
i am blessed with an understanding mil and hubby and supportive parents
hence a bit easy for me. not all girls are that lucky na, so they may act according to their scenario. i am not being sceptical. if we all make the effort its possible, family is one for all all for one
but then some families are different :)

Hip Grandma said...

I've watched the movie and it was very good although a little too idealistic. As you say the current bunch of youngsters have a lot to learn from the movie about family values. And Madhuri Dixit looks stunning and does not over act.

Gouri Guha said...

I have watched this movie many times, and, each time liked it. Can watch this movie anytime.
Human values, family values, relationship values are all shown but these days Values are losing their Value.
Enjoyed the read.

deeps said...

Movies usually give us a macroscopic view of some microscopic incident or event or scenario with all sorts of ingredients (permitted or otherwise) added.
if take out all these unwanted elements we get the exact picture.. and if we add a little bit fancy even our own family and situation can be picture perfect :P

Gayatri said...

Hi Renu, I love joint families too..when its depicted so well in movies because I like a full house. But, I also agree that its the most difficult thing to survive.
I don't watch any tv serials but, there is one that i record on DVR and watch when I get the time. It is sasural genda phool. Makes me want to have a large family like that.. :-)

Sandhya said...

whenever we start surfing channels, we stop if we come across this movie, even if 2 hours' movie was over! We can watch it anytime, any number of times...as you say, it is a 'feel good' movie, the whole family can sit together and watch!

dr.antony said...

To me,it just looked like a fairy tale.

Psych Babbler™ said...

I watched HAHK when I was 11. And even then, the sickly sweetness made me want to puke. And I wasn't even near as cynical as I am now.

It's a depiction of a family as you would see in the movies and children's books. Unrealistic.

I've learnt through my own family that no matter what the daughter-in-law does, the mother-in-law will criticize. No matter how dutiful the dil is, the mil will still not be satisfied. Because things have to be done her way. Seeing my mother not stand up to my paternal grandma made my blood boil while I was growing up.

I think the problem with the whole 'respect for elders' is that it is not logical. What about respect for human beings in general? Why does the Indian culture expect only the elders to be respected but not the younger people in the family? I personally believe a person, young or old, has to earn respect. I respect my parents, my maternal grandma and my late grandfathers. But my paternal grandma has done nothing to earn the respect...as are probably several other elders out there.

But for some reason, the tradition says we need to blindly respect our elders.

And since I was little, I have always questioned this...

Sorry for making a post out of this...just another one of my soapbox issues...

raji said...

Hi Renu,I love this movie and have watched it 3 or 4 times .I love the characters in the movie and the role each one plays and they have all done complete justice to their own roles.It was all mutual understanding as you said.But there was not many compromises shown there I felt,except for the last scene were they sacrifice their love for family.By this ,I mean the family was too 'ideal 'and it's very hard to find such families;even if we try from our side to be compromising and adjusting it's hard to find it vise versa .But I always wished my family was like that though!

Tomz said...

One of the great must know movies which I stupidly missed...

Madhu said...

Family sure doesnt come free. I think the expectations from both the sides have gone up Renu. I cant completely blame the girl. Thing is, how many families are as understanding as the in laws family in Hum Aapke Hein kaun? Not many right? But you are correct in saying that if we let go of the pre-conceived notions about new family, half the trouble is gone.

Ani said...

i just love this movie.. its always makes u feel.. yes everything is going to be right around u.. what ever might the situation be. :)

and ur saying is so true about family.. loving that quote

Bhagyareema said...

One of my fav movies though I doubt whether we will find such a family in real life. But yes a lot to be learnt form the movie and ur last line sums everything to the T

Haddock said...

some facts expressed here are so true.
In fact HAHK is one movie I liked because there are no vilains in it.

A said...

@Renu,

Of course movie was good. I agree with you all the point but the best part of the movie was "Madhuri Dixit". She is my all time favorite.

Chandrika Shubham said...

Like everyone else it is also my all time fav movie. :)

Jewellery and clothes are beautiful. Sets of the movie are also good.

My journey said...

Yes, indeed a very nice movie. I cant resist opening it everytime i see it on my laptop.

Amrita said...

Aap theek to ho? No posts since a long time?

Niedhie said...

Hi Renu, how are you doing? I have been away from blogging for sometime, am back now...

HAHK is my one of my all time favourites... enjoyed reading the post!