Wednesday, November 12, 2008


I am in Lucknow and I am telling you about few of my observations and few people I met.
I met a lady who was grief stricken because her daughter....a young achiever in her own right , may not get married into their own caste.She was feeling so humiliated with just a thought of that------how much their society will condemn them and all that and want her daughter to give a thought to marriage and stop pursuing her career so seriously........I was wondering...why such a budding career is being snubbed , and getting brickbats instead of appreciation.....
And then I met a lady of 75 yrs who is living alone and kept 10-12 girls as PG , and she is now very active and enjoying life:)...way to go......
At the distance of around 15-18 km from Lucknow, on Barabanki road is a DARGAH-----of Waaris Ali Shah. The beauty of this sacred place lies in its secularity..there were more Hindu visitors than Muslims.And I felt that when we can have so much of mutual acceptance at a religious place, why not in personal life also?
Now Lucknow has changed so much, specially Gomti nagar area, i wonder..why dont we have any BPO centres or Software companies there, why cant for once our politicians think of developing UP?
When I come to north in winter, I love eating peanuts ,sitting outside in the sun and having endless cups of tea........


Chriz said...

good insight.. the different colorful people who live arnd us

SMRITI said...

I swear when I saw this blog title on my blogroll, I instantly thought about writing something about my winter experience in Lucknow...not knowing that u were writing about Lucknow!!! :)

Hailing from the "hot" and happening hyderabad (dont think its happening much but just wanted to use this term :p), there is no winter here as such. I had gone for my cousin bro's wedding in Lucknow in jan 07 and i fell in love with the city...and someone from there too, eventually :P It was a memorable experience, waking up early morning and feeling cold even at 12 noon..and the icy nose...thank goodness I didnt have a leaking nose :P who knows it might've gotten frosted :P

I sure want to visit Lucknow again..and about the dargah, i feel so too. Even the ajmer sharif dargah has that. And when we hear about all the killings in the name of religion, makes us wonder what actually goes wrong.

Nice post...will keep visiting as often as I can :)

Cess said...

wow, it can be so complex to get married in India, y so humiliated? Love is not taking in matter in that situation?

Well enjoy ur cups of tea Renu ;)


Anonymous said...

Intercaste marriage still spells trouble :(

Never been 2 Lucknow..
I dont know abt the Waaris Ali Shah Dargah..I want to visit the Ajmer Dargah..heard so much abt it :)

wen r u comin bac?

A rebel all the way... said...

hehehehe....i know...winters in north india are just awesome...peanuts, tea, sun, gur, and loads and loads of sleep :D
you make me miss delhi :((((
i dont remember when i last went to have no memories of that place really...but hope you are having a nice time...:)

Anonymous said...

You made me remember my days too.
Thankyou !

Renu said...

Chriz: see India has so much of diversity.

SMRITI: First of all U r dear to me as U have the same name as my daughter:) Thanks for visiting me !
I am also settled in Hyd...and its happening:).
I felt so good when I went to this much peace of mind,one gets there.....though the way is not well kept and very dirty.

CESS: In India marriage is a very complex issue. and in some communities people are still very strict and dislike intercaste marriages:). Love is not even considered important enough to think about..its more about parent's honor.

yeah i am enjoying tea and all the pampering I am geting from my mother and siblings:)

REBEL: I love the winter here....that Rajai and shivering:)...rewri peanuts and gajar ka halwa:)
Lucknow is a good city with the facilities of big city and comforts of a small place:)

HOBO: have U ever lived in north?

SWATS: Religious places are all the same , makes u feel so good:)
I will be back to Chennai in the first week of DEC.

sansmerci said...

i was wonderin where ur.. now i kno... put up some beautiful pictures plzzzzzzzzzz

ugich konitari said...

Enjoy your time at your maika; all the fussing and pampering, and peanuts and gur and hot adrak chai....think of me when you have the muli and gajar with lemon and chat masala....

Its 36 degrees in Mumbai, almost in mid-November, dusty and sweaty. I keep wondering why everyone from everywhere wants to come to Mumbai .....

Balvinder Singh said...

Renu, i feel that the mutual acceptance of each other's religion is always there amongst we Indians unless we are reminded by the politicians or some other groups with vested interests that we are different people.

Enjoy cracking those mungfali ke dodey sitting in the winter sun of Lucknow. I just returned back from shimla and delhi last sunday and felt awful here in calcutta which is still hot and humid. Winter comes here only for fifteen to twenty days in January.

Amrita said...

oye hoye i love lucknow... esp bada imaam bada area and ameena bazar
i hope i got the names correct
quaint city like the pace of things out thr..
and yea politicians never think byond vote banks :(

Smriti said...

Ma, you reminded me of my childhood - eating oranges and peanuts in the sun...what lovely days they were. The sun is here today (yes, finally!) but what can I do with it sitting in an office working {smiles}. So enjoy the sun, the family, the peanuts (And oranges!) on my behalf too!

starry nights said...

Looks like a lot of fun and observation up north.I think people are trying to accept one another, as much as we hear of problems between religions I think in the heart of hearts there are many good people out there who do try to accept and respect people of different nationalities and religions.

my space said...

renuji...aap humare sheher mein hain..i was born and raised there n my parents are there..arsa beet gaya nakhlau gaye!!
Dhoop mein baithkar moongphali khaane ka mazaa hi kuch aur hain..we`d also eat oranges and guavavas and gajak and of course hot adrak chai..mujhe bhi aana hain!!
hmm marriage is still the single most important achievement for all mothers with daughters :-(...

@Amrita it is aminabad..

ps..never been to the dargah..guess --apne hee sheher mein begaane ho gaye, hai zamaane is waqt ki maar ka nishaana ho gaye!

Renu said...

sansmerci; Sure, i will try to put up some photographs.

UGICH KONITARI: Now i remember u everytime I have peanuts, gajak, rewri:), the breeze has got a chill here, my ma says that from the day of karvachauth winter starts here:)
I dont know why but me and my children never want to live neither in Mumbai nor Delhi...we prefer...either some small town or Hyderabad.

AMRITA: now ameenabad is so crowded that difficult to stand even:), but yes it has its own charm, and i always love small towns with all the facilities:)

SMRITI: yes Guria, I remember eating oranges with salt,Thats why I always plan my trip in winter:)

STARRY NIGHTS: I think that majority of the people are nice and accomodating, its only the vested interests of few, whocreate all the trouble.

MY SPACE: Wah AArti wah, maja aa jata ha tumhaari bhasha padh kar:)
mujhe lagata ha khoob pategi jab mil baithenge dewaane do( ham aur tum):)
I am a very religious person with implicit faith in God, so i want to go wherever I can:)

Renu said...

BALVINDER SINGH: I think the same that all the problems are created.

I can munch on peanuts endlessly:), and then enjoying all the north Indian sweets also.

Reflections said...

Ohhhhh Renu...the whole post sounds so idyllic.
u knw u may not believe it but urs is just the age I want to be....all responsibilities completed, have some money in bank account & just go where life takes u:-))...
just waiting for my time:-P

Manasa said...

Usually, parents wanna get daughters married by 25. Its usually a common scenario seen in most families.

What are you getting for me from Lucknow? :D

Sandhya said...

Nice, reading your blog, Renu. Once we went on a tour to Ajmer and we wanted to visit the famous Dharga over there. It was normal times, still, the taxi/auto drivers said that it is not safe for Hindus to go there. We said that we will stand outside and just have a look,but did not have the guts. I have visited the Velanganni church here, in Besant Nagar, Chennai and no one prevented us. I saw mostly Hindus, lighting the candles and I did it too.

I too feel that only the politicians are promoting hatred among different religions and people.

Enjoy oranges, guava, peanuts with gud! Like I enjoy jack fruit and magoes, when I go to my place, Udupi! We have jack fruit early in the morning, before breakfast and mango, after lunch!

Just call me 'A' said...


Just call me 'A' said...

hmmmm chai in winter...sound so blissful. well chai in any season is blissful but moreso in winter. you're making me miss home, renu.

and your post also makes me think about how a person's outlook can make so much of a difference.

enjoy your chai. i'll go get my morning cuppa now

love A
ps: had a problem with my system as i was posting. if you get two comments, please delete one :)

Renu said...

REFLECTIONS: yeah Nancy its just idyllic vacation for me.and u know I miss those days when my kids were young, and I miss their childhood.
But yes I am enjoying this phase also:).

MANASA: In the north most of the parents still think very conservatively...they want their duaghters to marry... and in the community only...
Tell me what should I bring for u..chikan salwar kameez, saree or gajak, rewri?

Sandhya: I also respect all religions and I am surprised that auto driver said that...because there many people from all religions go and believe.
I have never eaten jackfruit, will try sometime.
I am enjoying here with lots of sweets and other things:)

Renu said...

JUST CALL ME A: yeah specially for me..a tea addict:) and its only the outlook which changes so much in ur life.

Hip Grandma said...

Yeah, I agree that marriage outside one's caste is not well received particularly if the couple have different religious affiliations.But it is they who can decide how much of adjustment and compromise is acceptable.What can society do in such matters?THe lady should stop worrying about prying neighbors and hope that once the children tie the knot they should be able to make a success of their marriage.BTW you are tagged.

Renu said...

hip grandma: yeah, I know that these things should be left to the couple but mothers are mothers, and here some communities are very tightly closed, they make such a ho ha about evrything:)
Thanks for tagging me:) , I will do that once I am home(mine:)

Maddy said...

Pass on those peanuts,then I will comment!!

Cess said...

hey, hope u re still enjoying ur holidays.

PS: u re tagged btw ;)

Renu said...

CESS: yeah I am having a blast:), going to tell u more about this place very soon:)

and thanks for tagging me !

Renu said...

Maddy: I love the peanut which u eat after pealing:), and they are best in here:)

D said...

Learnt from DeeplyDip that you're in Lucknow. "Muskuraiye ki aap Lucknow mein hain" is how we welcome guests to our city. Yes, Lucknow belongs to me. Or vice versa.

Just a couple of things: the BPO industry is flourishing in Lucknow, to say the least. Despite the very unconstructive activities of our politicians, UP has managed to develop.

And while you are here, don't miss the malai makhan which is nothing like it sounds, but a delicious, light specialty available only in winters!

DeeplyDip said...

hi renu you know what? I think we were in lko the same time :). I belong to lko so I def have a bias towards the place but must say had never heard of this dargah before. As for sitting in the sun eating fruits and mungfalli - totally identify with :). Have fun!

Renu said...

D: sach Lucknow ki language bahut hi meethi ha:) always brings a smile to my face when my nephew speaks with this..hamari:)
I just want UP to flourish any has a vast talent and everything and can do wonders, so why not?.
Malai makhan is available in Kanpur also:), but thanks for telling me,I am happy that I know u a little(lucknow waali:).

DEEPLYDIP: Hi, r u still in Lucknow?, I will be there again from 30th nov to 3 dec.
My sis always wished to get married to a Lucknow wala:) and god granted her wish:), she used to say that LKO is the best place( studied there) to live:)

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