Friday, November 7, 2008

FEMALE POINT SYSTEM

In the world of romance, one single rule applies to men:
Make the woman happy.
Do something she likes, and you get points.
Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.
You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.
Here is a guide to the point system:
SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) ,
In the rain (+8)But return with Beer (-5)
You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
It's her pet (-10)
SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy (-2) Named Rita (-4) Rita is a dancer (-6) Rita is single and is really beautiful (-80)
HER BIRTHDAY
You forget her birthday (-50000)
You take her out to dinner (0)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)
And it's all-you-can- eat night (-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can- eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favourite team (-10)
A NIGHT OUT
You take her to a movie (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2) It's called 'DeathCop' (-3) You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans(-15)
ENJOY THE 'BIG' QUESTION
She asks, 'Do I look fat?' (-5) [Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT]
You hesitate in responding (-10) You reply, 'Where?' (-35) Any other response (-20)
COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned __ex-pression (0)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)
Now what chance you have?
Source email:)

21 comments:

SR said...

Funny n true in a twisted way! :)

Chriz said...

i have scored less than zero.. hehe.. i should stay single i guess

Sal said...

He he, very funny.
I have scored -50000 twice and boy, did I get bashed??!!
Cheers,

HOBO said...

Whats my point ?
Whos counting ?
;)

Reflections said...

You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)

LOL......most of it quite true, most especially the above:-D

sansmerci said...

haha.. i ve got this fwd too!

Cess said...

omg Renu, thank u so much, u made my day, i was really in need of humor, it was hilarious, the u look fat and get automatically - points no matter what, so funny ;)
thanks
C.

Maddy said...

After adds and omits I did score +25!!! God promise!! Saami sathiyamango!!!! Good that there are not much statements where I would have scored lot of -.

Renu said...

SR: yes 100% true:)

CHRIZ: Still u have a good chance against those who scored -5000:)

SAL: -50000 and still happily married:) U r lucky and a miracle..haha

HOBO: seems ur time will come some day:)

REFLECTIONS: True or not, but good for a laugh.

SANSMERCI: And how did u like it?

CESS: Pleasure is all mine:)

Maddy: Thanks for visiting my home !Scoring a plus.......U seem to be a rarity...hey girls are u listening?

J P Joshi said...

Your post has convinced me that there cannot be a bigger optimist than me, for sure. Guess why?

I read your point system and it reminded me of a telephone conversation with my wife in 1989. I was in Montgomery, Alabama and she was in Houston, Texas. The date was 22 Jun. I called her. I heard a very excited voice on the other side of the line. I started to speak with her. Made very important factual conversation with her like 'i have found an apartment and would be moving in, and was waiting for her to come over'. (She was staying with her uncle until i could find us an apartment. Finding an apartment had consumed a lot of my time, energy and focus and i was also busy doing the Staff Course).

The excitement in her voice started to reduce. Finally.........an exasperated voice was heard on the other side of the line.

She: What is the date today?
Me: 22 Jun.
She: You remember something?
Me: What??!!

She slams the phone down. I wonder why?? Scratch my ankle and realise that 22 jun is our anniversary - i call her back BUT the damage is done. How many minus points for that???? as per the 'FEMALE POINT SYSTEM'.

There have been many other occasions too where i have earned more minus points, and very few plus points.

Well.....the born optimist that i am, i have told her that i will finish this life with her with no debits/ credits!!!!

WILL YOU BE ABLE TO FIND AN OPTIMIST BETTER THAN ME.

Swats said...

WOW...BRILLIANT..
men shud never forget bdays n annv's n other special occassions..but men will be men ;-)

my space said...

Lol! Its really tough to score this one..

Pixie said...

LOL!!!
But, you know what's weird?
Men are equally hard to please too!! ;-)

Renu said...

JP JOshi: very uual response:), but I wonder how can men forget something so important, atleast I cant.

SWATS:They shudnt really:)

MY SPACE: Tough yes:) but may be:).

PIXIE: Is it? I thought it is very easy:)

Balvinder Singh said...

Brilliant one. Baaki sab theek hai but one has to be a good listener to earn more brownie points. If you have ever passed under a big banyan tree in the evenings you must have heard a deafening noice of hundreds of the birds chirping in the tree. Well those are all the female birds telling their whole days's happenings to their males.

Raghu said...

My god ! .. A female can b so demanding !! .. one simple memory loss (read b'day) and
he has no chance of scoring the points again !! .. hehe

That reminds me of my ex-gf .. she used to start reminding me of her b'day well b4 one month .. i wld tell her , how can i ever forget her 'day ! .. she wld say , she can't take chances !! .. one thing i have realised abt women is , make 'em happy .. be it in small way .. then that guy need not look at the sky fer angels !! .. nd i mean it !! ..

That was a pretty nice post .. may b i wld save it .. :)

Manasa said...

hahaha.. was a good laugh :D

Have you faced it anytime? ;)

Renu said...

BALVINDER: I think men gossip more:).dont know why women got branded such:)

Raghu: As far as making happy.......is concerned is true for everyone, even for men.

MANASA: :) many times:), whenever I tell anything, he is thinking about his office problems:), but now at this age, i have found my peace:)

Renu said...

BALVINDER: I think men gossip more:).dont know why women got branded such:)

Raghu: As far as making happy.......is concerned is true for everyone, even for men.

MANASA: :) many times:), whenever I tell anything, he is thinking about his office problems:), but now at this age, i have found my peace:)

Maddy said...

-50,000 never happen, because I remember her birthday always and surprise with gifts.

She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000).
I can't sleep when she talks. So I will never get this marks too(LOL)

She asks, 'Do I look fat?' The answer is always a Big NOooooooo!!! Any marks? don't say -35.

so when i add rest, it is +. I think I am rare as you said. Better I consult a doctor!!

Renu said...

Maddy: No need of a doctor, Only girls need to know about u:)