Friday, October 23, 2009


How times are changing........

Disclaimer..this post is a work of pure fiction and any resemblance to anyone is just intentional:)

When we were young we listened to parents,and did whatever we were asked today parents are listening to children.
Times are changing:)

Earlier parents decided everything..the career, life partner, and if they asked our consent we were thrilled to he core with this concession. Today children decide everything and if they ask parents or even inform them about their decisions, parents are happy......bacche hame maante hain...
times are changing:)

Earlier on every festival, it was children's duty to go home and be with family, today's children say..if you want to celebrate with us come and live with us or come to us..........
times are changing:)

Earlier children lived with the parents toady parents are living with the children.
Times are changing.

In our childhood we were like children, given everything as we required, but now children are everything and family is driven by them.
times are changing:)

When we got married, our MILs said....Keep quiet, DILs dont talk too much, respect the elders, todays DILs say...keep your mouth shut..MILS look good only if they are quiet.
Times are changing:)

Earlier as soon as the Bahu came, she was given the charge of all the work as it was the time for MIL to rest and MIls are doing everything, its the time for DIl to enjoy.
Times are changing:)

When I got married a, if there was any conflict, my H would mature, she is not so educated and aware, you can understand better. Today if I have a conflict with my DIL my son would mature, if she is not..may be I was born mature:)
How the times are changing:)

Earlier after marriage , in most of the good families ..girl's family never thought of any right over girl or her household, today it seems that ONLY they have all the rights.
Times are changing:).

Earlier if you youngsters did everything for the elders, appreciation as rare, kya hua, unki duty ha yeh, whereas today.....even if they speak nicely, they want and get so much of it:)..elders feel overwhelmed:) ( case of nil expectations my dear:).
Times are changing:)

Earlier having the sons was considered to be lucky, today I will say those who dont have are also lucky as they dont get any heartaches(DILS) in their family,and get a readymade son without any responsibilities ( in the form of SIL) but it shows that ultimately boys are better human beings as they are impartial and not so manipulative.

Earlier mothers wore whatever they liked, nonbody bothered, it was only wives who were scanned..for whatever be wives can wear anything( nobody dares to scan them:)...but mothers are told how to dress:)
Times are changing:)

again times are changing..some for good some for bad.
and friends add some more changes you observe..

Now I would like to share one news..I always say that if we desire something, god always gives us, in one of my last post I wrote about books circulation and last week I read about....SET ON SAIL.. an initiative by Kaveri Lalchand..she has put some books which anyone can take and if one wants to leave books there, one is welcome, I went there left 2 books and brought 3, next time I am going to take my all the lot there...So far she has few books only, but I hope it will increase..her addres is..
Madras Terrace House
2nd street, royapetta


deeps said...

chaning times change people ... na?

Renu said...

deeps>>>:):)yes they say..change is the only thing constant, but i feel that if the change is for better , then good, otherwise no change is better.

A rebel all the way... said...

Most of the points do not really apply to me (as they are DIL related :P), so can't comment on that.
But completely disagree with point no. 3. Festivals can be celebrated only at our homes. And home was where we were born and brought up. So I can't even imagine asking my parents to come to celebrate Diwali with me. And I think most children, fortunately, still think like that.

Jayashree said...

Renu, change is always a good thing as long as you are able to accept it. It is only when we cling to old habits and think that only that is right that change becomes hard to bear.

Rush said...

i loved the MIL DIL bit...i laughed real loud...great humorous take on everything, thou the harsh reality we are all facing as times change!!
good one Renu :)

Renu said...

Rebel All the way: Only 2 points are related to Dil and MIl:)

Dont know about other children:),mine keep telling me.if you want to spend time with us, come and stay with us, if you want to cook anything for us, come here and do that:) and now you have put me in the soup:)

Jashree..Yes, I think you are very right..but sometimes my logic gets better of me saying that whatevr is not good must nevr be accepted:)

RUSH: Thanx:).....thru humour only we can face the harsh realities of life:)

A rebel all the way... said...

Maybe they want you to visit them so that they can do all the work while you relax for a change. Anyhow, the reason I need to go to India ever so often is to recharge my batteries. London drains the life out of me, and India rejuvenates me like nothing else.

ஷ‌ஃபிக்ஸ்/Suffix said...

Yes Mam, times are really changing rapidly. Friendly communication with our children is the only way!! Even they hate advise nowadays.

Renu said...

Rebel all the way:..I am a very positive person, so would like to think like that:)...I love your affinity to ur country.

Suffix: Welcome here !....I feel that parents must be friendly aprent but never FRIEND.and advise is one thing that iust hated by everybody.

Dreamer said...

Hi :) This is the first time I'm reading your blog. Enjoyed this post. Yes times are changing indeed. The best part is that since most DILs work outside the home nowadays, MILs end up raising not only their children but also their grandchildren. But one of the upswings I think is that communication between MIL and DILs have also increased, and they respect each other as people and give each other space.

Renu said...

Dreamer: Welcome here!....I feel that working ourtside is a personal choice and when you excercise that, then take care of your other responsibilities also, MIL can supervise, but at the autumn of their life, when they should be free of all responsibilities, they must not be given added chores.

Chandni.. said...

change is the spice of life... and this is coming from a young girl like me... :)
and in college we r thought how to manage change...
Times are changing.. :)

btw, you asked about the rangoli. I used simple water colours. Non messy...
Times are changing... :)

Deeps said...

ha ha ha!
yes times are changing and we change with time :D

Amrita said...

Yes times have changed... but then somehow i feel some changes have been so gradual and there are many +ves to the change too...
for instance, coming and celebrating festivals with children gives the parents a welcome break and the child feels so glad that his/her parents have come, it just proves that though the child was not able to make it home, his/her parents came.... festivals are all about being together right, does it matter in whose house?
Many times I see mils happily holding the house, and to some extent i feel, its like they like to call the shots in the house. If they want they can relinquish everything, but many times, they prefer keeping their say in how the household is run and whats cooked. If dils shirk from their responsibilities under this garb then it is very wrong.
And parents have an option to live with their children or not. If they prefer their own existence then its fine. But then with the way the world moves now a days, it would be wrong to expect children, especially from small towns to keep being with their parents just for the name sakes. If they can get a better career else where, they should be encouraged to move, and parents should support them. Children should at no point of time forget the sacrifices their parents made though.

This post Renu, was strangely not funny for me. I found some inherent grief to be hidden between the lines. I am not sure if I was reading too much......Take care.

Renu said...

chandni:..WWelcome here !..your rangolis are really beautiful, next time I will also bring water colors:).
So to manage the change..this is going to be the topic of my next post..all inputs are most welcome:)

Deeps:One has to change and accept the change to live happily:)

Amrita: As ussual you are so right, why god doesnt make all the girls like you:)?

I also feel that children must not be stopped from persuing their dreams, but they also must never forget their duties..I rememebr one of my collegue's wife..she was newly married and she gave me gyan thru her ..she said that most of the people visit their homes less because they wont travel in II class and going by AC cost more and they cant afford it frequently, whereas she travelled ordinary, but went to them whenevr they needed her..I was so impressed with her..have so many memories of her..

MY post is written in taking a satire on today's conditions..its all around distant family, neighbours, friends..DILs being extremely rude to their inlaws, not doing anything in the house, being self centred and such things i keep hearing wherever I sit with aged people..of course there are good one also, but the first tribe is increasing...I see many DILs who dont want to give any right in their home to their MILS but work is their responsibility the garb of equality values of life are getting lost somewhere.

Thanks a ton for your concern!

Swetha Guptha said...

good post but cant completely accept the DIL/MIL concept...the other way is also true :( But an open conversation with the family members can solve most of the issue. Am not experienced enough to talk abt it, just my thought.

Amrita said...

hehe thank you so much for the compliment :D :D
but then believe me i too have a lot of limitations.....

sunder said...

Times are always changing...i used to hear my grandfather say, how things have changed....the only difference now is, things are changing too fast...we have to keep pace...

Renu said...

Swetha Gupta:...These are just MY observations:) thats the reason I have written that all are welcome to add:)........some of these are due to age old conceptions in our mind and some are due to times:)

Amrita:..The limitations make you human....nobody can be perfect, but the intentions must be right and honest and effort should be there..thats what counts:)...its your thoughts that impress me and make me happy:)

Sunder: True..its we who are lagging behind.

Reflections said...

I cant say I enjoyed reading this coz it is a sad fact of life....times are indeed changing.

If only people realised that whatever they do now whether good or bad will be returned 2 fold in this very life....:-(

Reflections said...

On a funnier note....did u intentionally leave tht blooper on ur disclaimer;-D

"Disclaimer..this post is a work of pure fiction and any resemblance to anyone is just intentional:)"

Renu said...

Reflections: Times are changing and we must accept them:)...there are still good people who are doing good and some modern people who are let them be:)..everybody reaps what he sows.

Yes that disclaimer is real:)..Take it in a good humour.

shail said...

If this is meant to be a hilarious take then its a good laugh. But otherwise, I have my reservations. Yes times are changing, I agree. Do you know what I call my generation?? "The suffering gen" because, we had to kowtow to our elders and did not have a voice and now we have raised our children (yes WE HAVE DONE IT, though everybody tends to forget their own role in it)to have a voice and so they use it. Our elders' interest were paramount to us when we were young and then when our children came they became our number one interest. We are the in-between people.
Speaking for myself, I don't expect my children to keep running back to me for festivals or such. They have their life. We brought them up so that they could have that life, no point in cribbing later on. If I want to be with them, why not go and have a nice time and come back to my own home, at least till the age as I am healthy and can travel?? Why should we find happiness only in our children coming to us?? The point is 'being together,' isn't it?? Does the place matter?? Well, its my personal view of course.
I definitely don't agree with the MIL doing all the work after DIL has entered her son's life. It is up to them to adjust and lead a life of their own. So it is better that they set up home on their own. Actually most MILs don't like to give up control that easily, so they keep doing the work and then complain too. I told my sons when they were boys that their home and their kids were their responsibility and it was up to them to manage work and home however they chose. Autumn years of a person's life is for them to relax.... and their help is not to be solicited, taken for granted or expected.
Why should there be any objection if the girl's family feels they have rights?? Is the boy's family competing with them for rights?? Is this some sort of competition?? All each family has to think of is their own relationship to the couple... not compare notes with the other family or feel bad if the others have more rights.
We can win people over be they SILs MILs or any ILs by our own dignified behavior. If not, then it is not worth the trouble and we should have the strength to see it as such and leave it behind and get on with life.
No one can stop change, good or bad. When change comes it comes in mixed form. It is up to us to see how best we can manage this mixture and still get the best out of it.
Sorry if this has been a too long comment. And once again I re-iterate, these are only my personal views.

Renu said...

Shail: Welcome here Shail..I couldnt agree more with you.

I wish I could be like you, even my sis keeps telling me that there is more to life than only your children..go out, make a life of your own, and I am doing that, but it will take time.

To me place matters..I feel much more comfortable and happy in my home.

Most of the people think like that it is about the controls in the family..Do you think today;s girls are so simple as to give controls to anyone?....and yes parents are getting a short shift because of their attachment to their offsprings, nothing else.

Comparisons come when the concerned person tries to show off something......or tries to belittle is not so simple to give you answers like that..everything is not black and white all the time and its greys of life which are difficult to bear.

Yes you are right , nobody can stop the change, but the change could be in some better directions also, atleast we could make some efforts if we think that we need it.

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