Tuesday, January 8, 2013

CONDOLENCES

It is normally seen that whenever there is a death in any family, visitors talk like this..

They didnt see a good doctor, otherwise this would havent happened..

Nobody cared much..

They could have taken the person to a big city for treatment..

I would like to ask whether the outsiders love the person more than the family?
Have they done anything for that person when he/she was alive?
Doesnt always the family do the best they can?
Who knows about families constraints and problems?
and last but not the least have you come here to be a support or give them more grief and regret?

People defeat the purpose of their visit by their suggestions and criticism, grieving family needs support in every way,nothing else, so try to give whatever you can but please no suggestions and no ifs and buts...

17 comments:

anilkurup said...

"Logoam ka kama he kehana"

strange.friendships said...

People are like that. Most of them are interested in what happens inside the four wall of neighbor than what happens within our four walls...

But sometimes, even the family members go through guilt phase. I should have done this , that etc.. The best is to firmly believe that what ever happened it is God's will. Without his knowledge even a leaf does not move. Such firm belief can help us to get through difficult times...

Bikramjit said...

well its in our blood we have to find a reason or have to say something .. instead of helping the bereaved family we find reasons


Bikram's

Noopur Kothari said...

I dont know for whom you've written the post...but you are true its the mentality of people and we cant change...

I'll feel pleasure mam if you can join the group and stay connected :)

http://www.facebook.com/#!/groups/424971574219946/

Tan said...

I am absolutely with you in this. Basic courtesies lack among a certain group of people where they dont know what they have to speak in certain situations.

Sandhya said...

This is a curse in our families. They gloat over criticising everyone all the time...grief also doesn't matter.

Found In Folsom said...

True Renu...many times, words or comments said without thinking hurt a lot, especially in times of grief..

Zephyr said...

How true, Renu! it is often these people who interfere and create disharmony and misunderstandings in the name of offering condolences. Busybodies, all. The best is to ask them to leave or shut up.

KParthasarathi said...

Very right you are about people who make insensitive remarks with inadequate knowledge.They are more a hindrance than help.

Rachna said...

Totally agree!

Renu said...

Thanks everybody!

rudraprayaga said...

It is a fact.Some people are interested in sieving and picking the stone pebbles from the grains,but not the grains.

Ashwini C N said...

Well SaiD. The so called people who speak such stuff do not bother to even drop by and offer words of comfort when a person is suffering. But after the person passes away, they take it upon themselves to talk like this. Totally uncalled for. They know we would be burning inside with grief and taunt us with all this talk

Chatty Wren said...

It is difficult to find the appropriate words to console somebody in such circumstances. The least we can do is not to pass any judgement.

Rahul Aggarwal said...

i think that's in our nature to be like this .. start giving reasons for no reason :)

i remember once somebody saying to someone at a particular condolence that the guy dead was supposed to give me my 5k and he went without giving it .. he'll go to hell ..

:) :) :)

have a nice day!

Jeevan said...

This happens always in families. I hate this attitude completely and people need to change.

Rhapsody Phoenix said...

Blessings...
We live in a judgmental world and everyone feels its their duty to put in their 2 cents about this or that most of which they have no true sense of knowing. You cannot give ear to that or your energy, as long as you know the truth, what you have done, the lengths you have gone to secure the best options possible with the resources available to you, then that is the truth you hold, you need not qualify or justify to anyone.

stay blessed.