Sunday, November 10, 2013

PEER PRESSURE

What is this peer pressure which is the root of all evils:)....It is there, it was there earlier too, it depends on the people how to face. Those who buckle they do so in childhood and same when they are adults.I am going to share some of my  experiences ...may be you could relate them...

In any family all siblings are never in the same league financially and whenever there is a celebration, there may be a rivalry in unimportant things like jewellery or clothes,I always wore whatever I could afford and felt confidant too, and everybody loved me for that and for what was me.....I was still very popular.

I remember one of my friend's kids used to study in DPS and there children would bring expensive gifts for classmates on Bdays and her children would crib and say that if they cant give the same, then they must be poor..see the children's perception...But my belief was.make friends with only those who value you for you not for the gifts, I fixed an amount for bday gifts and my daughter gave the same to all her friends irrespective of whatevr they gave her. They were studying in a private school and she was friendly with a cricketer's daughter too...so what..let her do what she can, you do what you can..show your worth thru other things...study well, take part in extra activities, be a good human being....In spite of all this pressure  my children made many friends and good ones and they were quite popular.My daughter used to help her classmates in studies and run a comics library too when she was very young..must be in 5 or 6 class..

Many people believe that if all the group has AC, car(or any such thing) in the home, my child should also have, otherwise he/she would get a complex..NO..complex comes because we dont tell them what is important in life, we dont share with them our economic compulsions..And our values are shown by our behaviour , not by lecture.

I have come up the hard way in life, so i can give you hundred of experiences where I could change my values due to peer pressure, but I never did, I tried to focus on my strengths..like my knowledge, my reading, my social skills( yes I have been managing many social gatherings like library, parties, club etc...).

So I would say try to grow as an individual and you are sure to find some people who will like you for what you are and they will be your true friends


16 comments:

Gouri Guha said...

So many similar thoughts found in your write-up. But this world with all the worldly things will always be there to pressurize...it makes all the difference in tackling it the right way.
Loved the ending sentence.

Sandhya said...

I agree with you 100%, Renu! This attitude of cribbing will never end! We should be happy with what we have.

KParthasarathi said...

Respect comes from not pretending to be what you are not.Trying to imitate people better placed in life is harmful.I think children are sharp observers and know the financial circumstances at the home.They curtail their desires be it going on expensive excursions,costly gifts and similar things.But peer pressure towards vices from wrong set of friends is dangerous and parents should be watchful.

SG said...

Agree with you 100%.

Bipin said...

Uncontrolled craze for money and material benefits is the root cause. All around us we are watching it,the fight for making money. Politicians,businessmen all are alike. People get lesson from it. You attitude is fine. If you derive pleasure that is best.

Renu said...

Gauri Guha: world will always have everything, its upon the individual to choose..

Sandhya: Always desiring more and a short span of time is what is bringing so much of crime and corruption.

KParthsarthi:we need to bring back the values..

SG:Thanks !

Bipin: welcome here Bipin ! we are looking at all round corruption because of this all round materialism only...

anilkurup said...

Yes indeed , you are absolutely right . To hell with peers and the pressure part is not forced upon us, it is we who succumb.
It is the vice called vanity and the urge to flaunt like the Jones. True as you said values are more important than display of vulgar material being.

Usha Menon said...

Peer pressure is something which the child can not overlook easily. It is very powerful. It is for the the parents to caution the child.

Asha said...

Wow! most of your thoughts are so similar to mine. I too had written a similar post long back for a parenting site. Nice to know most of our thoughts and ideas match.

Salomie said...

Well said and I agree completely. Faced peer pressure as a teen, then college student ... I used to naively think it'd disappear as we got older and settled, but no, it is a lifelong issue. Without a strong moral compass, it's very easy to lose your direction and give in. That's why I feel it's very important to take time out and introspect regularly, to see whether you're doing things because it's the right thing, or just following coz of peer pressure.

Chatty Wren said...

Very difficult lesson to learn and to teach Renuji! We have turned so materialistic and we are not ready to work hard towards working our way up in the world. Not even mentioning moral bankruptcy here.

Uma Anandane said...

True! Peer pressures when we feel it, it actually seeds in inferiority complex which even hinders the growth of our positives. As an adult we have faced them and also found a way out. But for children again, it is not that easy to tackle peer pressure with every phase they reach unless they cultivate the habit of acceptance and reality.

Renu said...

Anil Kurup: see all these things..satan and god been there in all ages, its upto the people to differentiate..the problem lies with adults..

Asha:yeah..its nice to know:)


Salomie: It is here that parental behaviour is very important..how you support the child, how you make him understand, what is peer pressure and how you should follow no,one but urself..problem is parent themselves are not very strong in values, so how can they teach their children.

Chatty Wren: difficult but not impossible, one needs to behave right and children will automatically turn out well.


Uma Anandane: true..we have to be with them to support them, engage them in constructive activities..

Kirtivasan Ganesan said...

It is difficult to teach children to handle when peers flaunt wealth and gadgets and dresses etc.
I think a parent must ask the child to understand that she is better in handling when confronted with same problem as compared to peer. This way a parent can also reinforce values and priorities of the child.

Rama Ananth said...

Strangely the only peer pressure, that i know of is about my son, he would feel that he has to do better than his classmates in his studies, since it was in a way good, it kept him on his toes, though i do not subscribe for this also. However, my advice against such pressure which he chose to bring on himself never really worked, I just left it.
The thing is as long as peer pressure are not in the wrong things it is fine.

Shanthi said...

Similar thoughts well penned