Recently my MIl has been sick, and though she is 90 years, but she hasnt taken much antibiotics or allopathic medicines in her life and what a ruckus she creates when she has to take them. And i realised what all precautions one has to take when en elderly person lives with you like..
There shouldnt be any water anywhere on the floor...for the fear that she may slip.
Every two hours she may need something, so I need to be on my toes all the time.
All the BF and lunch and dinner should be prepared in time , so as to give her and no short cuts will do.
And then there are few things doctor doesnt allow to eat, and what is good for her she doesnt like, so its an uphill task for me to manage the food variety.
And till she is competely well, i dont have any personal life, as I cant go anywhere..I have to devote all the time to her.
And all this has made me feel so scared that one day may be I will also be in a similar situation,.and what will happen...But then we can only accept what god give us at every step of life.we have nothing in our hands, except our karma..that only we can do....and its not a simple mathematics of give and take......I may pamper my DIL silly and love her , but I will get respect and love from her is not necessary.....The only thing I can believe in is God..he always looks after us..and gives us what we deserve..may be if we get disrespect from someone, or dont get respect and love, inspite of we doing our best,then it is His way of telling us that ..see this person is not worth it, dont get carried away with love...He always gives us signals, its we only who fail to recognise.
today girls, have a very low threshold for inlaws..leave aside not going anywhere, they may not even like to tell where they are going and when they will be back.....and my MIL was a very tradional MIL of her times who thought that DIL have only duties and no rights..so its not that she has done a lot for me and so I am doing a lot for her...I clarified it only because otherwise many girls will say that she may not have exploited you or behaved badly thats why you are doing all that for her..but she has done all:)
And this incident has brought a very subtle change in my thinking also. My daughter awlays used to say that this society should change to a matriarchial one and parents should live with daughters, but I never wanted that.myriads of reasons for that and I can do a separate post on that, but one thing I have realised that whenever one is not well, presence of a daughter can give real comfort, i may look after my MIL very well, but with daughters one has so much to share.but then my son's presence gives me so much of strength, so now I am pondering what can be the better situation for both.
Time and again I have felt the need to have some senior citizen homes, equipped with all the facilities, where people can live in dignity. Dignity Living Organisation has one such facility, but that is in Maharashtra....I would love it if something similar is available in north..if anybody comes across something please let me know..my brother keeps telling me that he wants to build an old age home , but after 10 years:)..plus his land is not in a hill station...I want to live in a cool climate.