Friday, June 17, 2011

My Father

On this father day, I would like to share a few things about my father.I had a father whom not only his children, but his whole village loved and admired.Its very rare to inspire such trust, love and respect.

Today when I read in the blogs about unequality and all that, I dont understand much, as I was born in 50's and still my father loved me a lot, pampered and provided everything I demanded. I never felt any discrimination, Only thing different was that he taught us to behave, to learn values of a good family, as he always thought that I would be a live torch bearer of his name, when I go to other family as bahu. Today girls shout at the top about their parents ..they are so great and all that, but my father taught me never to praise my parents in front of inlaws, instead my good behaviour will bring them the real praise from their mouth only.

Even After I got married, he was always there to support me, whenever and wherever I required, but he never put any claims on  me or my family. He never said that he should have equal rights in my house or anything like that..according to him, girl's parents should never interfere in their daughter's life after marriage, if they want her to live happily.My parents hardly ever accepted any gifts even.

Once when i was very young, I used to go to another city for education. And our driver left me after I boarded the bus, he didnt wait for the bus to start. Unluckily bus had some technical problem, and it didnt go and I had to return home all alone, and it had become dark also. MY dad called the driver and fired him left and right. Driver even said that he could have lost thousands, if he stayed,  but my dad said..to me my daughter is much more important than money,always remember, that to me nothing comes before family. Her safety is paramount, and it should never happen again...That incident made so much impact on me that family always comes first....

He had so many accidents in life, but god always saved him, and his reason was....your good deeds always protect you in contigencies....bhalaa kaam aagey aa jaata ha bachaane ko.....And I learned that good deeds are your protection in life.

In our area every one used to say that if anyone has any financial or any other problem go to him(my dad), from his door no one is denied....he will go to any length to help others and has no vicious bone in his body. Even those who bade bad for him, even if they needed him, he would go.Others before self.that was his mottoo

We had many  employees  and many were muslims, but they were all  like a family, and they loved him from his heart and who were ready to give their life to him, he always treated his employees with lot of love and respect, and generosity, on outings, they all ate with him only..no segregation....'
Our family was secular in behaviour, not in words.

He taught his children to be honest and ethical and kind to others, and today not only me, I can vouch for all my siblings that whatever we may be, but we can never be dishonest, or inhuman to any body.My brother has imbibed almost all his values, and with the kind of ethics and honesty he does his business and behaves in personal life..very rare to see today........and my sisters they are so kind and always helping others..

He used to say that anyone who cheats never prospers, and anyone who cheats an honest person is always destroyed on the end.

When my dad was alive, I couldnt even imagin that I could live without him, but this also I learned that life goes on........

13 comments:

Bhagyashree said...

Lovely tribute and got to learn so much

Sandhya said...

Nice tribute to your father on the Father's day! He was lucky to have you and you are lucky to have him, Renu!

As far as I know, fathers always liked daughters...the discrimination, if any, came when the family's honour was given more importance!

Hope you are enjoying the company of your grandson in London, now! Be happy always, Renu!

Pratibha said...

Renu, this is a lovely post, a dedication from a proud daughter :)
Even I wrote a post about my father today.

The only hitch I have is about parental interference. Don't you think it should be minimal from both the parental sets? It ensures sanctity in all relationships. Infact, non interference rule is taken by some girl's parents so seriously that they do not intervene even when their daughters is going through abuse,just hoping and praying that things would get better with time. Would like you and your blog readers to read this and give their opinions if the girls fate would have been different had the parents interfered :

Sweety, a Bangalore Techy's wife committed suicide only 3 months after getting married because the husband was having an affair and nobody showed support

http://www.bangaloremirror.com/article/1/2011061320110613100726218df80d99c/Sweety%E2%80%99s-Diary--How-the-knot-she-tied-took-her-life.html

rama said...

Looks like you have learnt well from your father. He would be really proud of you, just as you are proud of him.
Have a great time in London, and post some pictures from there of your grandchild.

deeps said...

This is a one big gift to your dad, and he was a great blessing to you n ur family…

Rachna said...

So wonderful to hear about your father. I am sure he must be very proud of you. Fathers are so special to us daughters.

Jayashree said...

A very well written tribute to your father.

Supriya Iruku said...

Hi Renu Mam,

First of all congratulations to your entire family :)

I appreciate that you actually adore your father for his principles and what he has taught to all the children and people around him...Seriously it is very rare to have a person around like them...

All i don't agree is to this line "Today girls shout at the top about their parents ..they are so great and all that" and the equal rights...

I would like to put across only one point..The bought up of girls has changed a lot..At first girls were not even allowed to get education..The next generation girls started getting educated but then anybody hardly supported family...now in this generation girls support families by earning...I don't see they would say equal rights and stuff all the time...At the end of the day no body wants to get strained like for 15hours in a 24hour day just for pleasure..there would be people who might be doing it but the %of them would be less...

Coming about interference...My dad is blessed with two daughters i have no brothers..Do you think going by older generation i should leave my parents who are sixty years old at their fate to stay alone and do what they want to...or should i bring them down to where i am staying and take care of them? For me i think the second one makes sense, and i take a step ahead in the new family to listen to me and support me...I dont think that it is wrong...The only thing i would say is don't distance any body...Treat your In-laws also as your parents..Its easy all you have to think is that you are in your better half's shoes..will you be able to do it...I always do that..I put myself in my husband's shoes when i have to say some thing to my in-laws...As a son if i say this how would i say the thing or whether saying this would hurt them..is there any solution...and its done...But i would not say that no i wont involve my parents or i would not bring them down..i dont think that it is a solution any time...Involving both of the sets equally and prioritizing who should be involved in what is necessary...

Sorry had taken more space in your blog...

Enjoy with your grandson...

Priya.

Bikramjit said...

Family always FIRST..
and he gave good advice that those who cheat dont prosper..

in todays world they seem to have fun but one day they will be answerable,

Life does go on .. indeed so true.. God bless and I am sure he is watching over you always ...

Bikram's

Tanvi said...

What a beautiful post! Makes me wanna cherish every single minute I have with my father. Thank you for sharing! :)

♥ from © tanvii.com

sm said...

happy fathers day
nice post
sure he is happy and blessing everyone

Happy Kitten said...

You are lucky to have such a father. It is also a fact that daughters are more influenced by their fathers.. for them, he is the first man in her life and someone she always looked upto..

May this world have many more such fathers.

Harman said...

happy fathers day such a lovely post.
it was wonderful reading about your dad!