Thursday, June 9, 2011


some people think that listening or obeying your elders is a sign of less intelligence or being old fashioned or unprogressive..on the contrary it needs lot of intelligence and patience to decide which are  the battles worth fighting for and where silence or obedience is golden.

Listening and following little little rituals or traditions your elders want you to, doesnt mean that you believe in them It is about your thought process..your feeling  to make them happy..whatever you want you may otherwise follow in practice and teach your progeny.
Standing up for bigger things in life career,marriage etc is worth it, but arguing and defying in small things is nothing but bad manners.

What is the purpose of our being on this earth? it eating sleeping and enjoying and working towards that only.
We are fortunate to be born as humans and we are sent on this earth to make it a better place with our sensibilities.and we must start it from our home..then neighbourhood, then city and then country..The baser instincts are there in animals too, but they dont have finer ones. We are the chosen ones ,provided with a brain that can think, with capabilities which can bring pain and pleasure both. Its our duty to make this world a better place..and if we cant be considerate towards our own parents, what can we do for anybody else..its useless than talking about humanity, charity, NGOs and what not.
The process of being a better human beings starts at a good child,good spouse and then good parents, and then look outside to be a good friend, neighbour and a good citizen..

Today everybody wants a shortcut..first look after self only and then satisfy that guilt feeling by joining an NGO on sunday..if everyone thinks about being good to one's family, we may not need so many charities and NGOs also.
Living for self all the what other inhabitants on this earth do all the time..we being human have a better way of living defined for us....its not only about getting good things, good career and money, its about what we are as a compassionate and caring we are.....


Amrita said...

I totally agree with you on this...."it needs lot of intelligence and patience to decide which are the battles worth fighting for and where silence or obedience is golden."

One needs to keep things in perspective. moreover I feel that if we feel compelled to defy other for anything and everything it is a sign of insecurity rather than strength

Bikramjit said...

Well you are right , it starts early .. kids see parents and surroundings .. so they learn from them .. learning starts very early

i dont beleive in joining a ngo for sunday as you said jsut .. end of the day if we are good humans why do we need ot join a NGO..


AS said...


nice post. I fully agree with your point(s). there is a thin line b/e confidence and attitude, showing your fierce independence and attitude to elders is not only bad but cheap as well, indicating a poor upbringing. I feel maturity is not in analyzing big things but understanding small differences.

liked it!

chitra said...

You always write posts with strong messages. I feel youngsters must read this.

My journey said...

World is changing at a very fast pace. Belive me I myself have seen dramatic change from my school days to the working days in this short span. Now a 10 year kid knows more than a 20 year old guy. So there has to be some kind respect for each other. But still I do believe that we should not argue for the petty things and must listen to the elders before going for any decision.

deeps said...

That’s with a subtle touch of philosophy… gives us some bits to think about even after we have left this place…
Your first para has it all, before picking the battle we should know if it s worth it at all and not be blinded by the person who gives the orders…

Renu said...

Amrita: Thanks for that:)..its not insecurity, its the arrogance of a damn attitude, where they want to show the world that they have arrived.

Bikram: that s true, but still i have seen that some changes are individual also and should be as circumstances change.But disrespecting the elders dont go well with me for whatevr reason.

AS: exactly the same way I think, happy to know I have company:)

Chitra:I also have the same purpose but youngster see and either get angry or go away:):)

MY journey: But being knowledgeble is not the criteria for respecting your parents..that way none of the parents could get any respect..because children will always have more contemporary knowledge.

deeps:Only they we are eligible to be called humans.

rama said...

Dear Renu, I choose to disagree. I firmly believe there are certain things which are ridiculous to follow just because our elders, who themselves have been led to believe, rather conditioned to believe in all kinds of meaningless rituals and practices.
They may be our elders but they should know that times are changing, their own children have intelligence, that tells them to not to do certain things in which they don't believe with their heart and soul. Just complying with it because of some duty is not correct, for the person who wants you comply to their beliefs obviously can see through you as you are not totally into it.
So i feel as elders we should read our children's mind and try to understand their point of view, and not impose our will or our beliefs whether small or big on them.
So when you respect the young, they too develop a respect towards you, and that is the basis of creating harmony and peace in a household.
I also believe there is nothing wrong in looking after our selves our own interests in life, for when we care for ourselves, we are training ourselves to be more equipped to deal with the problems and concerns of other. This attitude cannot be held as being selfish.
If you are not satisfied and not happy how can you reach out to give satisfaction and happiness to others.
Today our children are more wise and full of very sensible ideas, and we can step away from our preconceived ideas and learn something from them too, for there is nothing wrong in that, for knowledge wherever it comes from is always welcome.
I am sorry, my intention is not offend your views, or to impose my views on others, it just I thought you would be more happy to know the some people think differently, and since we write blogs basically to gather all kinds of opinions and views, I am sure you would not mind it.

Harman said...

I agree completely and very wise in every starts from home ,then neighbour and then country...these are family values and we are here for a reason..Sacrificing and giving is what we call a life and coming up an example for others.

Rachna said...

I would say that I agree with rama. I mostly feel what she says so I would not like to repeat the views. I also feel that blog posts must be taken as exchange of ideas and even if we might not agree on certain issues, no offense is meant :).Views are for exchanging not imposing.

pratibha said...

I agree with Rama..we should be happy to spread happiness around.
As thinking individuals we need to be sensitive to the changes in the world around us and that includes the culture and thought process.
Culturally we believe that obedience means respect, and we close our eyes to the bitterness that results due to the expectation of continuous obedience.
Self sacrifice to please is hailed in our society and any disagreement is seen as selfishness and arrogance, which I think is grossly wrong. Why do we fail to understand the younger generations perspective? Only because we abhor changes and expect them to obey, but that's not right. There are things which may be trivial from our perspective but could be really important for some other person. For eg. If I am not religious so missing sunday church is not a big deal for me but for someone highly religious this could be a big issue. So who decides what is important and what is trivial.
I think we should assert what we believe in, however not to an extent so as to offend anybody and at the same time we should try not to be judgemental about others way of life and try to understand others take.

Also, I think knowledge should be a parameter for respecting anyone be it elders or youngsters.

Reflections said...

The problem with the younger generation these days is tht they r exposed to a lot, both bad and good....but the arrogance & confidence of the youth is tht he thinks he knows more than his elders. Usually by mid-twenties a many wake up & realise that there can be a balance btn the old & the modern but so many others get carried away.
To a certain extent they can't be blamed as independence[money] does make a difference to their outlook. He/she doesnt realise tht it doesnt hurt to listen to an elder's viewpoint....but he is in his prime and doesnt have time to waste. After all its MY their favourite refrain.
It takes them another 10-15yrs to realise they have gone wrong and then they take to NGO's and charities to satisfy their inner need to make amends.
But at the same time I have noticed every mature youngsters, well educated, modern in their thinking who respect their family values and move with their elders blessing. Here the parents also have to be given credit as they r more open with their children and consider their needs.

The Holy Lama said...

sola aane sach. We are losing the fine balance that we once had.

Renu said...

Rama; I agree to disagree:)
If my family gets some happiness with something, I would certainly do it, however silly it may sound to me that is caring...
Looking after self first and foremost is never a harbinger of good society.
There is no question of being unhappy or unsatisfied, if we dlo that with pleasure..

And I am nevr offended by opposite views, rather feel happy that god has given me the opportunity to make myself clear about everything.

Harman: thanks a pious and good life should be the reason of our being..not satisfying self.

Rachna: of course, I nevr feel offended with contrasting views, rather pleased, because i get different views.

Pratibha: i think we are talking at tangent, I dont say that obey evrything blindly, but dont argue for little things

And I strongly oppose....I think knowledge should be a parameter for respecting anyone be it elders or youngsters...this way no child of an uneducated parent would respect his parent,specially the people who rise from the scratch, could never respect their parents, but in life..they are most respectful towards their parents and they rever their parents hard work and toil.

Reflection: couldnt agree more..we think alike:)

Pratibha said...

Renu, I dont think you understood me correctly, I said Knowledge should be 'a' parameter for respect and not 'the' parameter. All I mean is that we must acknowledge and respect others' knowledge and maturity, even if they are much younger to us. Age does not ratify the correctness of anyone's opinions and views.

Happy Kitten said...

..if everyone thinks about being good to one's family, we may not need so many charities and NGOs also.

How true.. and our own children shall learn from us..
but then in my own personal experience, have seen that not every one from the same family behaves thus. Not everyone feels it is one's duty/responsibility to care for elders.

I guess, we can only live our own lives in the best possible manner.

up↑take said...

What is the purpose of our being on this earth?
You know, this question is the very basis of Indian culture. Everywhere else life is about comfort, about domination, about accumulation. Mother India's purpose is different — "the regeneration of man the brute into man the God." Those questioning this are "not there yet". Someday they will understand.

Renu said...

Pratibha; sorry for the oversight...but still knowledge is always respected in every sphere of life, but the relarionship between parents and children is very sacrosanct and it doesnt need to go for any parameter....they deserve respect..period.

Uptake: exactly..this is what our culture is all about.

Renu said...

Holy lama: true,we are loosing our roots..

Happy Kitten:let everyone do what he/she thinks, we must do our duty and the world will change.

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