Thursday, December 27, 2012

Mother

In all the relationships this the one which is the backbone of every relationship in life, because its mother only WHO moulds the personality of an individual into what he becomes when he is grown up, so if one tries to be a good and efficient mother, many other problems of future are solved.and since mothers are adulated so much, itys time they took the responsibility also for the wrong doing s of their wards..Nobody can be a good mother by just pampering and providing for all the whims of their children.Mothering means giving them a good foundation with good values..... Of course there is no fixed formula for that, and it depends on person to person and circumstances, still if few basic things are maintained lot of work is done

when the kids are young that is time to start their education for discipline and moral values and better if its done through practice. At this time we can make their foundations strong with our love and model behaviour. Children always imbibe their elders. Whatever is learned in the childhood, stays forever.Normal practice is to leave them free when they are young , thinking-bade ho kar sab seekh jaayenge , but its not like that, habits are formed in the beginning only.and love doesnt mean just giving ,its judicial giving and judicial withholding.And sometimes listening to a firm NO makes them resilient,teaches them acceptance of life, where they cant get everything ..

In the teen years, they need a friend and confidante,so try to be friendly,not a friend, because its necessary for the children to respect the parents,no matter what,this habit of respecting parents brings in them a lot of discipline in life.This is the time to teach them to be confidant, not to be in awe of peer pressure, tell them about the rights and wrongs in the life,and if there is any problem, then parents are the best people to solve that.Give them a confidence that they can share anything with you, their fears, their choices everything. Dont be judgemental.When the children are taught values from the beginning, they may come to some cross roads in life and may be in a dilemma, but be sure they will never deviate from the path of righteousness.Trust them. This is the most turbulent phase of their life support them, be like a rock behind them and see them grow into confident individual.

Then it is time for them to choose a profession, let them make a choice, dont choose it for them.Its their life and they should have every right to take its decision.Give them freedom, but tell them that freedom with itself brings lot of responsibilities.Tell them the pros and cons of everything but the final decision should be theirs.Life is not always a bed of roses, let them find it for themselves, they will respect and value everything more this way. The best gift parents can give to their children is ROOTS---that is unstinted support in their ventures and.... WINGS. freedom to do what they want, its not that o parents can teach only, sometimes they can learn a lot  also from them .Dont do everything for them, rather tell them how to do it..Parents who try to do everything for their lot, are not making their life comfortable, rather sowing a seed for lifelong dissatisfaction, because when they will not get the same treatment from others in life, they will never appreciate anyone and wont get any appreciation too,They will be miserable due to their dependency habit.

Last duty-for the parents, if you feel like that is -finding them a partner, here also if they choose themselves, accept it happily,believe that you have inculcated enough sense of propriety, and values, so hopefully they will not go wrong. or they will learn..

18 comments:

Ash said...

Wise words, Renu aunty!

rama said...

Well said Renu!
We should teach them the good things, and also allow them to choose for themselves.

Bikramjit said...

parenting has become very very complicated these days and I do accept what you have written


Bikram's

anilkurup said...

A pretty good guide.
What spoils the child? Mother's love( overindulgent)?

up↑take said...

Packed with wholesome goodness of an Indian parent! I esp like this part:
In the teen years, they need a friend and confidante,so try to be friendly,not a friend, because its necessary for the children to respect the parents,no matter what,this habit of respecting parents brings in them a lot of discipline in life.This is the time to teach them to be confidant, not to be in awe of peer pressure..

Chatty Wren said...

Very insightful post. Agree with all that you have written. Looking back, I think my parents have done the same for me and my brother.

Renu said...

ASh: Thank You Ash, I keep saying them feeling that even if one person makes a better change in life, my life is worth ..

rama; yes Rama..its very necessary to teach them right and wrong..

Bikram: yes, it is and i feel lot of aggression and crime in society is because of that only..

Anil Kurup: Judicial love never spoils anyone..we will have to understand the meaning of love..

Uptake: Thank you..seeing you after a long time..how are you?

Chatty Wren: and you can see the results?

Jeevan said...

Can’t deny anything wrote here. It’s a significant post and emphasis the growth of a child and parents responsibility.

rudraprayaga said...

True, no doubt.

up↑take said...

I am fine, Renu, thanks for asking... I have been reading your posts, but only commenting occasionally.

Harman said...

..a good insight ..thanks for sharing!

Ellen said...

Beautiful piece on mothers and motherhood. A worthy read.

Wishing you a happy and blessed new year up ahead. HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY!

Dilip said...

Excellent thoughts!Parenting is a sacred responsibility. Thanks.

Renu said...

jeevan: Thanks Jeevan!

Rudraparayaga: Thanks !

Uptake: commenting is not necessary..but i havent seen anything on your blog too..

Harman: Thanks!

Ellen: Thanks! and wish you too a very happy New Year!

Dilip: Yes its a big responsibility, and since people are not doing it properly, we are facing so many problems.

Shalom said...

Sound, sensible advice as usual. Absolutely true what you say, that values must be taught right from the beginning .... have seen too many cases around me where parents have been very lax in the early years and then find their kids very difficult to manage as they grow up.

Renu said...

Shalom: Thanks:)..I too see many parents being careless and complacent, just enjoying their life side by side children growing themselves..

Rahul Aggarwal said...

beautiful post .. parenting is not an easy task, especially for mothers ..

as they say:

"a hand that rocks the cradle rules the world"

so it's the mother who makes a child into an ideal man...

Renu said...

Rahul Aggarwal:in todays environment it is all the more important for the parents to instill values..