Monday, February 10, 2014

Values

Today I met a young computer engineer. I am writing our conversation verbatim here:--
So, your wife also works ?
Yes, she is a lecturer in a Delhi college and co-writes books also. actually this the best profession for girls.
Dont say that :), times have changed now.
yes, but the values are same.,  the way a mother can look after the children nobody can.
But in the changed times ,father's are also doing the same.
No, aunty, you see when both are busy, and in the evening just 1 or 2 hrs are there,nobody wants to say anything to the kids. or if you have to leave them in the creche or with the servants(he is living with his inlaws.) they dont learn values and get spoiled.
Am I enlightened? ::))
I feel a little surprised,  there are still some who think that only home makers can provide values to kids...and then mother sacrifices her dream of a good career, and family compromises on  luxuries...Thats Ok, but for the woman to live a fulfilled life, its necessary to do what she wants to..and she can take a sabbatical for some period but totally sacrificing her career, if she is career minded, will make her frustrated.We need happy mothers, not the ones who cant stop telling their children how much they have sacrificed for them:)

14 comments:

Asha said...

I think certain things in life can not be judged by others. Best left to the people to manage on their own. For instance, regarding childrearing, one can't be gender specific, there are many men who are great nurturers and home makers than women and there are women who are great in careers and some manage both family and career efficiently. I cannot judge this, but yes it matters to raise a moral value based generation, because it affects the society at large. This is a social issue.

Amrita said...

Trueeeeeeeeee we DONT need moms who tell their kids how much they sacrificed for them. We need moms to tell how much their kids made their life richer by giving them a purpose - to be better human beings outside and inside the home. Better home makers as well as efficient professionals.
I know its a bit hard for a woman to get best of both the worlds... but there should never be any grudge about the road not taken.

KParthasarathi said...

As you rightly said times have changed.Old notions should yield place to new methods.A few hours in creche or alone in the house if older will not damage the 'values'of the children.

Sandhya said...

I agree with you! Mothers can take a few years'sabbatical and take care of the children. Mother's care is needed in the growing up years.

Jeevan said...

I agree! Women working to support financial has climbed summit for work on personal content.

Ashwini C N said...

This is quite a confusing topic. Coz I loved it when my mom was always around for me, for my birthdays to helping me with homework or just being there for me. However I'm not too sure if I would be able to make that sacrifice, given our careers.

up↑take said...

The west has seen revival of values after the crazy 60s and 70s.. India will also return to its roots. Thanks for posting this.

Renu said...

Asha: Yes Asha..its not judging but sharing of views and looking at the results..But as u said..its important that we raise values based children and for this whatevr we have to do we must do..

Amrita: well said Amrita ! I just dont like people saying..my mother sacrificed so much for me or I have lived only for children..all that is such a rubbish to me..do whatevr you want..I think I will write a separate post on this:) want to say so much:)

Sandhya: That would be best.

Jeevan: Yes.

Ashwini: Do whatevr you want, but if you have children raise them in a way that they are values based persons.

uptake: its a circle..everything comes back..

Chai a cup of life said...

I completely agree with what you're saying. A happy mother is always better than a frustrated one! I have been both a career mother working full time and also (as of now) 'a house wife'. I have to say I felt like a much more organised and happier when working. Even though it was more stressful, I was more satisfied working then staying at home..

dilipnaidu said...

Nice post on a dilemma faced by many young couples today.

My interactions with young corporate executives and married participants in MBA program reveal that both husbands as well as wives balance their work and home commitments quite harmoniously.

Of course we cannot rule out a few stray aberrations.

dilipnaidu said...

Nice post on a dilemma faced by many young couples today.

My interactions with young corporate executives and married participants in MBA program reveal that both husbands as well as wives balance their work and home commitments quite harmoniously.

Of course we cannot rule out a few stray aberrations.

Renu said...

Chai a cup of life:Even I have seen with some [people that when they work outside they have more energy and efficiency.

Dilip::) It is good as long as it stays as aberration:)

Avada Kedavra said...

Very true. My mother stayed at home but she was never happy with that choice. I would never want to sacrifice my dreams and career. I think raising children is the responsibility of both husband and wife and neither one has to sacrifice everything to raise a child.

Renu said...

Avada Kedavra: Chidren are very precious, they should nevr be brought up as a sacrifice from anyone..