I am going to share some experiences with the girls obsessed with their parents. I want to say categorically that i am not against daughters looking after their parents, but these are the instances where they brought lot of problems in the other households.
Such girls marry for their own comfort, they never really feel any love affection or respect for their husbands even leave aside inlaws..but they want their spouse to respect and care for their parents.
On every small small thing..good or bad they run to their parents,without worrying about their own family(husband and kids only because inlaws are never considered family) leaving husbands with children .
Their priorities always remain with their parents, nobody else.But how can they grow as a family and get roots? Earlier we used to say for the boys that dont marry if you want to be a son only, today i want to say the same to daughters that dont marry if you want to be a daughter only.
And the main culprits are parents who bring their daughters with love but no discipline and values..
And on top of that after marriage they still call them for little little celebrations and small small health problems, creating disharmony in their life
I feel very surprised with the attitude of parents, how can they do it..demand their pound of flesh, earlier it was with sons and now with daughters..whats the difference.
I myself have a daughter and son both , but i would never demand their attention or finance unnecessarily or if it disturbs their life.
I have a suggestion to all the parents of young girls..and their parents
Its commendable that you gave your daughter love and affection and equal opportunities and didnt make any difference between sons and daughters, but tell them also how to make a family, how to add value to your marriage,if you cant be a giver then bring a balance, dont be a taker only.
I find it exasperating to see home makers asking their husband who is having a 12 hour job to do help in the house also.
I you want equality earn it..if he is working 8 hours outside you better work for 8 hrs first then demand help.
Have a division of labour..if both are working, they can divide the work, but homemakers should look after the house completely, if they can afford, then keep a help, if not do it your self.
Same about finances..I see girls spending indiscriminately on trips to their parents and gifts, try to restrict them and you are in a worst war zone...why cant they think about their own future, kids future and other emergencies.
If you cant live without your parents, better to make them stay with you instead of running six times a year. You will be able to take care of them and will not be disturbing your own family too.
.
Such girls marry for their own comfort, they never really feel any love affection or respect for their husbands even leave aside inlaws..but they want their spouse to respect and care for their parents.
On every small small thing..good or bad they run to their parents,without worrying about their own family(husband and kids only because inlaws are never considered family) leaving husbands with children .
Their priorities always remain with their parents, nobody else.But how can they grow as a family and get roots? Earlier we used to say for the boys that dont marry if you want to be a son only, today i want to say the same to daughters that dont marry if you want to be a daughter only.
And the main culprits are parents who bring their daughters with love but no discipline and values..
And on top of that after marriage they still call them for little little celebrations and small small health problems, creating disharmony in their life
I feel very surprised with the attitude of parents, how can they do it..demand their pound of flesh, earlier it was with sons and now with daughters..whats the difference.
I myself have a daughter and son both , but i would never demand their attention or finance unnecessarily or if it disturbs their life.
I have a suggestion to all the parents of young girls..and their parents
Its commendable that you gave your daughter love and affection and equal opportunities and didnt make any difference between sons and daughters, but tell them also how to make a family, how to add value to your marriage,if you cant be a giver then bring a balance, dont be a taker only.
I find it exasperating to see home makers asking their husband who is having a 12 hour job to do help in the house also.
I you want equality earn it..if he is working 8 hours outside you better work for 8 hrs first then demand help.
Have a division of labour..if both are working, they can divide the work, but homemakers should look after the house completely, if they can afford, then keep a help, if not do it your self.
Same about finances..I see girls spending indiscriminately on trips to their parents and gifts, try to restrict them and you are in a worst war zone...why cant they think about their own future, kids future and other emergencies.
If you cant live without your parents, better to make them stay with you instead of running six times a year. You will be able to take care of them and will not be disturbing your own family too.
.
5 comments:
Agree with you Rent. Sometimes things go off in a tangent and newfound freedom is misused. I expressed similar views in my post-Between a mother and a daughter.
I have not come across such a female so far.
Totally agree on the 8 hours concept. Finish your hours first before demanding the same .
I have not seen the case of such girls in our generation though I have seen in earlier generations for instance one of my distant grand moms. I think it all depends on what we are exposed to.
Indu chhibber:I am seeing ;lot many parents also taking advantage of their daughters.
SG: you are lucky..I see them all around me....
Amrita: my family still has many..one of them a housewife asks her husband to clean sterilise the bottles when he comes back in the evening , though she has enough time on her stands, but still..another one demands that husband should take care of laundry and dishwasher, though the husband has a 12 hrs job and she is a home maker.
now a days everyone is connected 24 hours and it also causes problem
very good post.
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