Upbringing

Lately i keep listening to everybody saying that they have got the beest values or their parents imparted them the best.but the otherside is always without any kind of value...I really wonder, if everybody is so good, why is there so much of rudeness, and misery in the world, and where is the otherside.

There  was this lady who will thrust this sentence everytime there was a misunderstanding..

MY PARENTS have given me good values, and I cant live without them..
(mere mabaap ne hame bahut acche sanskaar diye hain ham to kuch aisa waisa kar hi nahin sakte)
.And I saw her behaving in the worst possible manner to her husband, and his family and she had no qualms about taking taking advantage of the family..leave aside siblings she didnt even care for his parents..

Now this is the values she had been brought up with:)

Then there was this young man who will claim very forcefully the same thing:)
Now this young man got caught in making money so much that he forgot his old friends, family even his own parents..

again the same question?

Then there was this young woman, who will keep giving odes to her parents..my parents this, my parents that, they have made me what I AM TODAY..I agree to this part but what is she BTW..has she accomplished something in her own life?...in education, or in job, or in housekeeping..even in her hobbies...zero..

So my point is that what we have learnt from our parents or not, everything is visible thru us..our behaviour, our personality, nobody needs to shout it..or rather those who shout , may be they are infact trying to convince themselves....we can shout whatever we want, but our actions and word can  only confirm our values and sanskaar...

I have seen many young people so nice, courteous, educated that when we meet them we feel so happy and think that they come from a good family..and I dont mean wealthy, NO..from a sanskaari family..because their upbringing can be seen thru them...

Is discipline a bad word?

Today i see everybody disliking the word..discipline..they want to do everything they like, whether its food, outing, clothes,sleeping, getting up.Nobody thinks that all this routine in life for eating in time, sleeping at time, and doing things in discipline was not made to please others, but for self only.But since these habits show the effect in long term, people realize only when they have any problem.
Todays parents dont want to discipline children at all, they give them  and let them eat at whatever time and whatever junk food, all in the name of love..is it love? I dont think so, I believe in Khalil Zibran when he says..love is judicial giving , judicial withholding.
Today its all about affordability, if parents can afford they will buy all the junk .be it in food, clothes, toys, without giving a thought to how much damage they are doing to the planet and even their own child..
In my own life i see many indisciplined people who were brought up with love but no discipline, and such people even in their life havent been able to use their full potential, and havent brought much happiness to the people surrounding them.
Whenever i see the young children falling sick frequently or having gastro problems, i feel very sad for them...for their parents...because whatever you do, at some point in life karma catches up..even if its a habit of indulgence..
I wish people realize that food and entertainment are not life, they are just a part of our life and let them remain there only

ZINDAGI..PAKISTANI SERIALS.

I was surfing the channels and came upon ZINDAGI..a channel from Zee TV, it shows Pakistani serials. Just watched a few like Zindagi Gulzar ha  and few  more, I cant remember the names and liked them and realised that..

We dont have  a
single hero on TV who is more handsome than Fawad Khan..he is awesome looking in those serials.I just loved him..

Their serials are still based on stories and go fast, finish in a stipulated time, there is no stretching, you miss one episode and miss a lot.

They are much more natural in everything, be it sets, dresses or environment and showcase real problems.

Through the serials only I saw that there society is still very conservative and is biased towards men.Women still struggle for everything,,even education.

Some serials are really worth watching..

GIFTS..

Accepting a gift is also an art and not many people know it..I see many reacting like this..
Why did you get something so expensive?...( now expensive is a very subjective approach,it may insinuate the giver is not capable of affording it)
I never use it..
You give it to someone else....( who are you to suggest it...its so awkward to hear this, make you feel humiliated)
I dont wear this material.
I dont like border sarees..etc etc..

I see that people refuse to take gifts very easily saying.I don't use it or it wont be of any use to me.In the past i took whatever some one gave to me, later either I donate it or recycle it, in case  the gift was not of my liking, but i never could refuse it, because i thought it as an insult to the giver.
But today i am in a dilemma...what is the right thing to do...when we refuse to take something,
 what will that person do of the that gift?
 and if another gift is bought, may be its an additional burden to her,..
and is it civil and polite to say so?

And in the opposite case, if we take something and never use it, whats the point in taking?
Secondly the other person will never know our choice and may keep giving us the same thing?

Personally I think gifting should be kept as token and minimum, and shouldn't be refused, accepted with grace, irrespective of whether we use it or not?

What do you think?

Am I being selfish?

Now a days I am reading Spouse..truth of Marriage by Shobha dey.and since its a book on major relationship in life ..one starts thinking about so many things, like there are some people in my life who claim to care for me, but rarely call me or even if my hubby goes on tour, i am alone,even  then they never make a call even once to ask, how i am managing..and about few of them, i can say that if I ever need them , they will be there for me, but some others ..may be..may not be, or whatever is convenient to them..
so what I am supposed to think..do they really care?
 Should I consider them my own...or i am right in feeling hurt? These are the same people whom I  have cared a lot and done a lot..so is it like asking my pound of flesh?
 Am I being selfish in the feeling that they should reciprocate?..I did what my heart told me to do, because i cared for them, why do I need their social grace, yes its that, to feel happy..Shouldnt I be happy with the feeling that I have done the best I could? and move on....
If ever for some reason, I am not able to do something, people make me feel so guilty, but they themselves never conform.
Is it right to feel exploited or this is the norm today..not to keep up the grace of being in touch..

Really, I am exasperated..sometimes people and relations make me feel so frustrated, but I am a typical saggi..comes out of this phase very fast, and start believing..I am doing my karma, they theirs...

I love my parents and wish them to live 100 yrs

ON face book I get many posts saying.I love my parents and wish them to live 100 yrs..And i start thinking..its my brain which makes me think everything....why do they wish their parents to live 100 years...because most of the time a person above 90 cant be very independent and needs children to look after him/her, whereas their children will also be at that time in the age group of late 60;s or early 70's, and they themselves may be in need of care..of course its all probability only..some people may be fit and fine after 90 and may be independent also..but i am talking in general...How many children are able to take care of their parents for 40 years....barely minimum no. of people..most of the children get fed up after 15 yrs..They want an independent life...and there is nothing wrong with it..its a tiresome journey to look after somebody your whole life..even if he/she is your parent.

So get real..why wish something like this which is totally hypothetical..why not wish your parents a happy, healthy and respectful life..irrespective of years.

Even for myself I never wish for a long life for myself, instead I wish to be useful to somebody and live an independent life..I have no desire to see my grandchildren, then their childhood, then their marriage.....so on so forth...the list goes on...

Media and its priority

I am very saddened to see the news in last one week.

 A respected and revered person,s funeral gets second page whereas a convicts hanging gets full and front page. What is considered news now a days?

Then victims of Bomb blasts hardly get mentioned anywhere, may be a small corner somewhere, nobody wants to see their miserable life,but they are busy in the moods of criminals.

yes we are in a country where people like to read about prisoners mood and food but nobody is bothered about general public's plight.

Media is always fanning the passions in the wrong direction, earlier nobody wanted to comment on anything subjudice, but today every Tom Dick and harry has an opinion and on all serious issues and they  are trivialised either for personal gain or fame.

Imagine  all sort of people giving advice to supreme court. If people had such strong opinions, then why dont they fight it in court, why have a media trial?..otherwise whats the point of having law system.

Capital punishment should be there or not, is a separate issue and should be discussed separately, but as long as its there in our law system, nobody can say that it shouldnt be given.

So much is being done by good people but they get no mention anywhere, so much is needed to be done but nobody brings it to light, they are so busy with trivia.