Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Extra Marital relationships

Recently I read two books one from Nirupama Subramaniyam and other from Anita Nair., and both had extra marital relationship at the core.Why do they happen? Normally people think that some dissatisfaction is at the core of that, but not necessarily. Sometimes, or many time people just think of themselves and enjoying the life.
Whether arranged marriage or love, there will always be a time when life settles to a routine without any adventure, and if one is ready to think then it is stagnation. Or sometimes its individual growth, one advanc3s and other is not able to grow with times and people feel incompatible. I hear many women saying after 25 years of marriage that they are ill suited to each other or they feel a vacuum in their life.Of course it happens, but sensible people find the solution withing marriage only.
The best way to find a solution is to communicate what you want, but the problem arise when its one sided and other just doesnt want to do anything to better or always thinks of her/himself as perfect, then may be its time to move on, but never think outside while living in a marriage..otherwise same thing happens as in the two novels I wrote earlier about.

In Intermission..Nirupama subramaniyam..Varun sareen and Gayatri marry for love but after some  years love goes out of the window. Gayatri always finds fault in everything her husband does and regrets her choice, Varun gets attracted to a neighbour and seduces her..
In Mistress..Anita Nair,..Radha is a snobbish daughter of a rich industrialist . has affair with a married man, does an abortion and then his father marries her to a man who was earlier poor, but not any more. She gets married but neither loves him nor respects him, and then gets into a relationship with a foreign tourist who stays in their resort.I totally dislike people who marry but dont respect the institution or the commitment it requires. Better not to marry..Her uncle is a Kathkali dancer, and I loved every detail written about this dance form.
In both the stories all the extra relationships are temporary, they could never turn into something permanent, so bring only misery either to the person involved or people who loved them.

In fact I found in them a moral lesson...to cure unhappiness, dont ever do something immoral or never do any thing just for yourself if it will hurt others involved..short term happiness is not worth it.If one is getting restless in a relationship, better to find some creative outlet, take some hobby, learn something new or start doing something for social causes or unprivileged people..it will bring long term happiness and may be better your married life too.

11 comments:

Chatty Wren said...

Interesting books. Marriage requires a lot of work from both the partners. And you are right, it requires commitment. Well, it is not easy for sure.

Rahul Bhatia said...

Seldom one will find true love in such situations:)

harman singh said...

its sad thou ..people look for happiness in different ways and fall in abyss unknowingly..
.. happiness and peace is within. I guess!!

Rhapsody said...

Namaste and blessings.....
They happen because people choose to let it happen, they can spout all the reasons and excuses in the end its a choice and they do it because they want to and because they can.

peace.

Gouri Guha said...

Agree with your last para view points.
When one gets very confused and lost, one knows not the wrong path that they follow.

Tara said...

i dont think its the unhappiness or loss of commitment that make people go after other relations. Its the human nature to be drawn to something new and then that will develop and flourish in our mind if we let loose our thoughts. Its all about self control and to be brave to flee from any such situations or thoughts.

sm said...

nice review
better to think before moving forward

Zephyr said...

It is very unfortunate that today relationships are based on trial and error and so the hop-skip-jump routine is becoming common and also being justified as the right way. At the core it is lack of commitment and the love of self above everything else, isn't it?

Renu said...

Chatty wren: Nothing good is ever easier, but once one, always brings good..

Rahul Bhatia: I dont think that such people even know anything about true love.its always lust.

Harman Singh: They fall in abyss because they are looking at the wrong places and being self centred..

RhapsodyB: you are right...of course its their choice..

Gauri Guha:its lack of values..

Tara: Yes its all about our values in life ...

sm: Thanks!

Zephyr: how are you?...in this routine of h0pping, they are leaving great destruction behind in the form of traumatised children, broken families...
its nothing else but selfishness, being taught today as the right thing..

Meera Sundararajan said...

Marriage is like a three legged race- one has to run it carefully! About extra marital relationships, there are different reasons for them. But it is painful for all concerned when it happens.

Renu said...

Meera Sundarajan:..whatevr the reason, but its immoral..one should refrain..