Saturday, March 8, 2014

CRAB MENTALITY

There are so many articles and advertisements regarding women empowerment and everything but it is women only who dont change their attitude.
We are looking for some insurance scheme in Max and the person we are talking to is a women. She has come to our place and knows us also . When she asked about email ID and I told mine, she wasnt satisfied with this, she wanted my husband's ID only. Then my hubby told her that its my wife only who looks after all this and i also do it thru her only, she was like ok..but give me your office ID atleast. And now she wants to email him only even if his official ID doesnt accept any attachments:)

I have seen such attitude in many women..They always give  more importance and preference to men..
Like its mothers only who differentiate between son and daughter...
My MIL used to find my male servant whom I employed when I did some business) more efficient and knowledgeable than me:).
Many DIls will respect and care for their FILS even if they do nothing, but the same will not be accorded to MIL even if she cares....
I dont know about today but in my times, no women friends supported their women friends in their any venture..They would prefer to go to a men for every requirement...and bring down their friends...

So more than anything else its the crab mentality of women which is putting them down...its the animosity and jealousy among the women which stops them from making a support system..be it family or society, otherwise nothing can beat them.

13 comments:

sm said...

yes women is the enemy of women
many times

Amrita said...

True true true totally agree.. but there is a bit of insider knowledge that breeds this. it is a bit of jealousy and a bit of knowing how women function.
i for instance...can never work under a woman.. i admit it...i see very few of them being able to separate emotion from work. i see them taking criticism personally.you can challenge a male boss...but dare you do that to a female one.she is gonna bite you in the back side :) . but i have seen all men being able to keep emotions at bay and have totally their feelings cut off..i know 10 years is very less time to conclude this.. but if my experience changes.. i will change my view.
about liking FILs comes from daughters attachment to dad and father figures...again for instance.. even when we know our dad s are wrong,we think our mom should adjust.. it might come from the fact that we know our moms can adjust more. and we just expect them to do the extra bit.expecting this all the time is not fair.. but then that is human nature is nt it? we always tend to stretch a thing till it breaks.again here men being more logical would not do so very often. so boys support the father when he is right and the mom when he is.

i could go on about all the scenarios you have said...you may choose to disagree with me.. i feel type casting it as crab mentality is a bit too broad. women are complicated creatures. in my native tongue there is a saying that what goes inside a womans head is hidden even from lord jagannath :)

Amrita said...

and yes i do agree women can make the best support system for each other. at every point if they just take a step back and see themselves, or their sister or their daughter in the woman they are antagonising - it would make theworld such a better place.
there would be no need for any ludicrous celebration of a so called woman's day

SG said...

Nice article. However, I agree with Amrita.

Renu said...

sm: yes they are.

Amrita: I agree and disagree to some...In today's environment I dont find any reason for the young girls to be jealous and petty to their MILs..and the same can be said of MILS..when I have got so much going for me, I want to be generous, I nevr felt that since my MIL was cruel to me, I should be to my DIL, NO ..I wanted to remove every hurdle from her life..the ones I faced, plus give her more...and the same way I today I am looking after my MIL, the way none of her own children do...
I always feel that satisfaction with your life and good upbringing always makes you civic and generous in your dealings..so today's girls who have got so much in their life..financial independence, pampering and freedom why are they so petty minded..I cant understand.

SG: Thanks!

Asha said...

Like you say there are many instances when a woman does not trust another woman and tries to bring her down.

But i am unable to bracket this " crab mentality"( we call it frog mentality:) to women alone Renu. It cannot be gender specific. This mentality sets in people who are insecure and lack confidence. It can be amongst any gender.

But then you know all of us have different experiences.

deeps said...

i guess each individual is hugely different, let alone man-woman factor!

Salomie said...

I guess the majority would fall into this group, but there is still that tiny percentage that behaves decently & fairly.

Renu said...

Asha: sahi..but woem make the difference to family, so its important there..

deep: individuals are different but majority is like that only..

Salomie: and I want to increase that tiny percentage to majority..

Chai a Cup of Life said...

I've seen both sides of the story. I noticed that men in India were given more importance, even when they do nothing. They are still served first and the women serve and then eat after them. In my home country, (Australia) everyone sits down to eat together to eat. I missed a few of your posts and will have to catch up!

Renu said...

Chai A cup of life:True..we have some of these traditions,but because of a reason, like earlier it was women who cooked in the house and men were providers,Today its more women who put down other women, not men..

Chai a Cup of Life said...

You're right and I think I missed your point Renu, sorry!! Women should be sticking up for each other rather putting each other down.. and yes, it does happen a lot unfortunately.

Renu said...

chai a Cup of life: Thank you !