Monday, June 19, 2017

Can you suggest something?

This is a personal problem of my close friend, she is not able to find the solution to it, so I am posting here, may be somebody could tell her what to do.

It relates to her husband, he is always doing what he likes, without giving any consideration of her feelings, like he would welcome  many people to their home, and expect her to be very hospitable and do everything for them, though these people may have insulted her and even now dont give her any respect or love, not even to her husband, but whenever they need they suck up to him and he is all theirs.there are some who havent done anything for her her or her family in last 20 years.Even if the need arose, they were not there for them.

She feels very hurt that her husband has no consideration of how she feels, according to her, her feeling should be more important than other people, whether they are his friends or relatives.

What do you think? Should she allow him to trample her sentiments and  tolerate it? It hurts her self respect, because there are some in whose house she was totally ignored and treated badly.

If not then whats the solution?

1 comment:

SG said...

They both are disconnected. A connection comes when they both sit together and talk openly. Just the two of them only. No friends. No relatives. Not even children. May be she should catch him when he is at a vulnerable mind set. She should NOT start with how hurt she is because of what the friends and relatives do to her. She should start with how hurt she is because of how the friends and relatives are taking advantage and not respecting her husband. She should put some kind of act (I am serious) and tell her husband she is hurt because her husband is being taken advantage of. It hurts her to see her husband not being respected. It hurts her to see her husband being insulted.

Never tell the husband (at least during the first few conversations) that she is being mistreated by the husband or relatives or friends.

Your friend should keep bringing this subject often …her getting hurt because how others disrespect her husband. (Never talk how she is not respected.)

He will eventually change his mind. There is a Tamil saying “adi male adi vaithal ammiyum nagarum”. (If you keep pushing, even a big solid rock grinding stone also will move.)

Good luck to your friend. God be with her.