Monday, December 22, 2008

BALIKA BADHU

Balika Badhu....This is the serial quite popular now..a..days, so when i went home, and heard everybody talking about it, I had to see it.It started very nicely..about child marriages and its bad effects. But what is it with indian TV that they are hardly able to maintain the story line and standards. That child bride and her antics were quite interesting,novel and natural, specially the girls..Anandi..Fuli

now suddenly the focus has shifted to the marriage of a young girl to an aged man. And here the treatment goes haywire. The young girl Gehna is wed to an old.....or i wud say middle aged rich man whose wife has died. Gehna has no other special attribute except that she is beautiful and young and chosen for her beauty. her parents are poor, taken more loans than they can pay for,I mean they are literally on the road. So the rich man gives them pots of money to take care of their loan and rest of the family.

Here the girl doesnt resent her parents....who sold her(her language), or who benefited so much with this relationship.She doesnt say anything before marriage or refuses to marry..no nothing like that, but after marriage...

she insults her inlaws...

defies the rules and traditions of the family,

is rude to the matriarch of the family......to me she doesnt come out as a brave girl but an ungrateful wench, who doesnt keep her side of bargain. If i was in her position....I would have worshipped the people who made my whole family settled and comfortable, cant a girl do that much for her parents, because of this marriage, her whole family is happy otherwise they all,including her would have been living a life of misery, much worse fate than she is in,and she being a poor girl should know better,,........and after all marriage is done without hiding anything, its not done surreptitiously.,Since the serial is quite popular,..i feel that they are propagating wrong ideas into the minds of girls...like defying ur elders is good thing or indiscipline in the family is not bad.....I know... i know that girls who get influenced by TV dont have much IQ or atleast EQ, but influenced they get.......

And here I am not saying that the matriarch is right or everything else is right, But this type of situation I have seen in many movies also, where girls will marry (HDDCS, Blackmail old one,Kasak and many more)but create problems after marriage, If u are so brave then have the guts before marriage...why destroy somebody else? I prefer the old thought....once married...then be genuinely so .Why bring misery to others?

here if she was raising her voice just for the injustice being done by daadisa, or for the dictatorship even, then it wud have been praiseworthy,but the way she humiliates her in front of neighbors and all the time insults her and her husband for bringing her is very unbecoming of a cultured girl.

23 comments:

Destination Infinity said...

This was a good post. I think the blame should go to all the three parties (parents, the middle aged husband and the girl) equally...

Destination Infinity

Swats said...

Balika Vadhu! arghhhhhhhhhhhh
My mom is so crazy abt Anandi and all the shitty soap operas on TV..

This chick is going places..She just walked the ramp recently and I guess she is slated 2 do a Bollywood film too...

The world is talking abt 'Balika Vadhu'!

aneri_masi said...

Hmm...playing devil's advocate here (as usual ;)...maybe she didn't voice her opinion/fear before the marriage because she knew it would be of no use. And now she is simply frustrated and is acting out...because she can.

In any case, this definitely IS a bad example :(

I am so glad I don't have any of the Indian channels at all...they are all so crazy and over the top.

A rebel all the way... said...

Ye kaisa naam hai serial ka? Honestly Renu, u should start watching 'Gossip Girl' now. you would love it :D :D :D

Renu said...

Destination Infinity; I dont think the blame should go to the man...tell me if any girl finds a good match whom she doesnt desrve..would she say no...

SWATS: yeah..I know...this is the latest craze:) but the girl is really very sweet:)

Aneri_masi: No point in advocating a loosing side:)...just joking:).
She may be frustrated..alright but the responses should be proper, like she must set an example with her good conduct and giving her daughters education and all that,not by misbehaving.......

many serials start with a bang and always end with a whimper:(

Rebel: Nooo:0 I never watch serials much, I am a movie addict.anyway good to see u back and smiling:)

Amrita said...

i watched it longggggg ago in november :D
i liked the portrayal
but i did nt get a reason why it shd b sucha craze..neways i am way to analytical..
and i concur with the fact if u think u r gonna ruin some ones life by marryin.. then dont go for it..
but then thr are instances whr the female is pressurised... and she ends up not being able to stand up later.. :(

Stray said...

I do understand where you are coming from, Renu - People who willingly enter into a marriage must strive hard to make it work.

However, there are a couple of things I think mitigate the protagonist's actions in this specific instance. (Note I haven't watched the serial at all, nor have I read about it and am going solely by your post)

1. She was a child at the time she was married and, as such, she had no option but to follow (and trust in) her parents wishes and marry the person they wanted/ desired her to. If she were an adult, then she could have been said to have willingly consented to and knowingly entered into the marriage.

2. Post marriage, she is expected to stop being a child and instead take up responsibilities and think and behave as an adult. Now that she is required to and has begun to independently apply her mind, she would tend to make judgment calls using yardsticks that she has seen elders use in re the situations she is faced with. Unless you are saying her personality itself is self-centred and mean, she can't be dealing with issues devoid of what she has been taught by the very parents who desired her marriage.

Accordingly, I don't see any fault in her. If anyone must, I think its her parents that must be judged and not her.

(Being a soap, I'm also guessing that her husband and in-laws aren't exactly saints and are contributing to the confusions the young bride must be going thru.

I must also mention that I am prima facie prejudiced against parents/ adults indulging in child marriage in today's world AND expecting the kids to grow up overnight thereafter)

Renu said...

Amrita: i also dont watch it on a regular basis, it caught up with the audience because here a new idea was brought with lot of freshness.
What i am trying to say is....that the girl is retaliating to the inlaws, whereas her own parents are at at fault and have benefited with this marriage,either she must disown them also or she must ask them to return all the booty, but she does neither of this, but gets back at inlaws.....

Stray: I am saying that if one doesnt want to marry a particular person, for whatever reasons, then dont do so, show all ur guts before marriage, but doing tantrum after marriage amounts to the exploitation of other party.

All ur points are valid, but only in case of child marriage..that was Anandi, but here I am talking about another girl Gehna..hers is not a child marriage.....but a mismatched one to an older man,and One doesnt need to be mean to misbehave with inlaws....they are the fav. flogging horse for girls:),easy target to blame:)for all their misfortunes....its like always blaming the rich for poverty.

I am also against child marriage.

Jayashree said...

I didn't know there was a serial....is it based on the book???

SR said...

Frankly none of these shows are worth watching whether they are in Hindi or in tamil, and from your description I wouldn't go anywhere near even trying to watch this one.

Renu said...

Jayshree: This is a Hindi serial telcast on COLORS at 8 pm everyday.
Cant be based on the book, but i cant say anything for sure.


SR: Isnt it a big irony that in a country as vast as ours, full of talent, we cant make a single serial which will bring in evolved audience?

sukku said...

Well said and point noted...thanks..

Pixie said...

I actually watch this serial regularly. I love the old lady! I mean, as an actress - she has done brilliantly!

I think that, maybe, the girl didn't have much say in getting married off to an older guy. Now, she maybe trying to get a fair treatment. I remember in one episode, she says that she is married and her "sasural" is her home, but she deserves some respect.
I think, that character also tries to propagate or show how difficult it is for a young DIL and how the character rises against her odds to gain respect. She keeps her husband also away for the same reasons...
The way they have shown certain things, its scary. I mean, if these things are still happening to young girls, then what we are doing - all this struggle of equality is sadly insufficient.
I don't advocate the disrespect to elders thing, but I do strongly support that the DIL's, daughters too deserve equal respect and this particular character is shown fighting for her rights/respect as a DIL.
(Ok, will stop hogging your comment space now!)

DeeplyDip said...

I also heard a lot about this serila when I was in India in Nov...my mom loved the young girl too...but we do not get colours here so never watched it...
As for the story - it's the writer acting god here...every one reacts differently to a situation and probably this is the type he wants to show for this girl - to get some masala. I agree with you on the fact that one should keep their side of the bargain, but sometimes actually doing so is very difficult. From what I understood from your post the girl is not very educated, plus she is young. So at the time of the wedding she thought she could do it but now she has many resentments and naturally doesn't feel much for her husband...

Renu said...

Sukku: :)

PIXIE: yeas that lady is a super actor..Uttara baokar.
And Pixie..this girl from the beginning gets special treatment from Daadisa:). Even I say that daughters and DIl must get equal respect...but i never wud support the girls who are rude and disrespectful to their inlaws or rather anybody, my Main Point is this.......dont support her rudeness and humiliation of her elders...I didnt like that scene where in front of a neighbor she comments on her daadisa.
If she is shown fighting for justice, respect or anything like..I will wholewheartedly support her...but here she is shown resnting her marriage and because of that resenting matriarch and insulting her.....for me its a complete no.no.
And my dear u r most welcome to hog the space:), I love it.

Deeplydip: Suddenly this Channel has become quite popular:), and u r right that writer is god here...I agree all individuass are different and the way they react to different situations in life is also individual and that makes for variety...just dont depict in a way. where something wrong is justified as right.
My experience in life says tha respect to elders and discipline both are very necessary in life, and all good things and behaviour dont come easily....one has to do that extras effort:)

Pixie said...

hmmm... ok, I agree with the whole - "dont support her rudeness and humiliation of her elders"
But, somewhere there's a niggling thought that maybe, just maybe - elders should know how to earn respect from youngsters?
Like, setting an example maybe?

Renu said...

PIXIE: U r right about setting an example,this is where we say...Sanskaar..if the children see their parents being rude to elders , they learn that and here...since the girl has come from another family it reflects bad on her family......The matriarch is shown to rule with an iron hand over EVERYBODY...she is not an exception in that, but in her rudeness she is ,and u know its always the thought of youth...elders must not demand but command...but i will say with demand only comes comand, and for a well knit family a little discipline works wonders, because everything cant be exactly right, and if we start fighting for little things...fabric of a family is torn beyon repair...it needs some patience, discipline and certain family values not indivualism and egoes.I am digressing from the point:)

Manasa said...

Culprits are her parents who chose an old man, second: the old man who agreed to marry such a young gal and his parents! Lastly, the gal, who didn't express her reluctance.

Renu said...

manasa; back after a long:), where were u?
U r right, thats what I wanted to say. I give less responsibility to the man, because whenevr somebody gets something or someone not deserved, nobody declines, just accepts as a good luck bounty,
I feel that the girl..now turned into a vocal tigree, where were her vocal cords before marriage, sure she hasnt grown in a month.

Banani said...

Hi All,

I am disappointed with the fact that the dacoits killed Pratap. I wish he was alive!!

Bonzy

Renu said...

Hi Bonzy !welcome to my blog ! I didnt see the last one, have they killed him? its really bad for two reasons..one i prefer pleasant stories, secondly it will enforce the superstitions...of Ma sa

Princess Parneet said...

This is for the first time I am reading your post. However, I just wants to mention that.... It hardly matters who is playing which role, how is she acting but can u also think of this situation the other way around....

Gehna must not be blamed... as it was her parents decision... in simple words( not to hurt anyone) they have sold her for the money... parents here are to be blamed and then... the people involved who have thought of doing such deal... (Dadisa) so what she is rich....

You are right that story has gone out of its track but its not the only social issue they are trying to portray... from child marriage, to cases like Gehna, to widowhood( that too when its a child marriage...

Many girl suffer like Gehna.. it OK that one needs to start adjusting once she is married but when the doc is advising not to conceive and then too going ahead.. its bad... The serial just wants to portray the pain of such people..

This is not to hurt anyone's emotions but just a sincere feedback..

Renu said...

welcome to my blog Princess, I am always happy to get the other perspective.

I have seen that for most of the problems inlaws are blamed and parent go scot free sometimes getting the excuse of being poor or something else. This is waht I want to say if she has some complaints it should be against her own parents, why take revenge on inlaws..they havent done anything under the table.

yes i agree that asking her to keep the baby inspite of doctor not allowing is bad,but that time this was nowhere in picture.

I like the serials with a hidden teachings, but u just cant make a sensible one with all the issues taken in one serial.

Plus everybody wants to see positivity also, by killing Pratap they have killed the serial totally. I feel sad to see a good serial going down the drain.