When to have kids?
I never ever undermined boys, on the contrary i always say that today boys are getting short changed, and personally my son is the best, gem of a person, and to me both daughters and son are equal, I rather wanted to say that to prove their equality I couldnt undermine the son...
My son always stands up for the right thing and person and I have always respected and valued his opinion and still do.and those who have been reading my blog for some time will know how precious he is to me.
As for equality in Pooja...somebody has to do it first, if the girls do, then boys will say why?....and the people who go for this type of equality, I feel doubtful that they will ever make a happy family.A cohesive family comes only after every member aspires for it, but if some of them are always balancing the scales, then sorry....it becomes a game only.If its a patriarchal system then girls crib, if tomorrow there is a matriarchal then boys will crib..so to me it is like this that if you want to crib, do it but you wont benefit anyone, not even yourself.Even if a mother gives food to two children, she will give first to one and then to second, giving second is not undermining her love for the child.One should learn the definition of family first..family is a group of people bound together by love, will do everything for each other, and keep others before self.
And I know that sometimes inlaws are quite bad,but I will write only what I see around me..this is my blog, my personal experiences....and today i see that majority of parents are adjusting, and the girls are becoming haughty and arrogant, so that comes out in my posts. and so a girls, who is working and still not haughty, looks after the house and is polite and respectful to elders will always get my respect whosoever she may be..my daughter or my DIL or my blogger friends.I have never liked..I ,me, myself attitude, I told my daughter also when she got married....
कोई भी कितने अरमान से बेटे की शादी कर के दुल्हन लाता हा, तुम्हारी किसी भी बात से माँ का मन नहीं दुखना चाहिए ( everybody gets her/his son married with so much of love, that you should never hurt your MIL in any way.)..she will vouch for that.Its not that I say something else and teach and behave with my daughter differently. When you enter a family, dont go there with the attitude..what they are doing for you..see what you will do for them, try to please them..and Inlaws should also look after the new girl well.No girl can get the love of her husband unless she respects his parents and since girl goes to sasural..she has to deal with inlaws on day.to.day basis, not the boys, certain equations are different.
And anybody who reads my blog will know that I am a a very judicious mother to my daughter also, I never support or hide her mistakes, I dont believe in hiding mistakes, I rather try to rectify them..may be I come out as a harsh mother to others, but strictness at certain label, some discipline in life and pampering at different times only can bring up a good personality..this is my personal belief.
Now-a-days whosoever meets me keep asking whether my children have any issue?( as they have been married for few years, quite a lot if you consider Indian thinking:)
and when I say..NO, they advise me that I am being too careless, and its not right and all that and yesterday I was thinking about all this and came to the conclusion that...
children are lifelong responsibility, once they arrive, parents will be forever looking for something..bringing them up, education , marriage etc etc.
So its only before that they can enjoy their life fully and fulfill their dreams and can have some METIME.
Secondly what happens that with life expectancy increasing, with early children , a situation comes in life when parents are in late 80's and children in late 60's. and for those children its not an easy time to look after parents when they themselves need some help..so having children late will have many pluses..
first one gets enough time to oneself
and when you grow old, your children will be young enough to look after you ( of course only if they want to:)
and one is always able to provide better to the children,
So I thought that i will never ever ask my children to hurry up and have kids(as if they will listen to me:)....enjoy life, fulfil your dreams and then plan family whenever you need them.,really want them.
This weekend my daughter is coming for two weeks..so its going to be fun time to me, waiting for her.. I miss her so much, but marriage changes a person so much..I miss those times.. I wish that for sometime at least she becomes that little girl of mine.
There is this NGO. they had this exhibition of articles manufactured by unprivileged children from recycled goods. I went there to see and thought of buying something to encourage them. One thing I have noticed that most of the time the prices of the products are kept very high, to me its like killing the golden goose. why cant they keep the competitve prices, then their products can be marketed easily and will have more demand. And whoever organises it,must give their space either free or very low cost, because if they also want to make profit then it totally backfires, as there wont be much sale. I saw that few products were good but prices were very high..it was like going to a designer place. My H being a practical person asked my why do you want to buy this product at a multiplied cost, why not give that money directly to charity, but I think its better to encourage work..its like teaching fishing. I always buy something whenever I see any exhibition or sale directly from handicraftsman or any such NGO.Earlier there was this shop in Shilparaman Hyderabad which used to sell some spices soap etc made by adivasis and I bought so many things and believe me they were very good quality, even soaps very better than those branded ones, and spices were very fresh.Now they dont have that shop anymore and I couldnt find their where abouts even.
here is my talk with webneetech.....